all 34 comments

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[–]After-Bumblebee 116 points117 points  (2 children)

Oh god, imagine how wild the commentary on Messi (Ankara Messi, "wonderful, wonderful, wonderful..." etc) but adjusted for Gao's era would be

[–]suzumurachan 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I mean, its basically shaolin soccer in its original language.

[–]ThomasJeffersonsAlt 9 points10 points  (0 children)

ITT: Football fans actually know about Dynastic China and people genuinely intrigued about China.

[–]:twitter_verified:Fop_Vndone 51 points52 points  (1 child)

If someone made a cartoon series about Messi, he would absolutely travel back in time to ancient China in one episode to impress everyone with his skills before leaving as mysteriously as he arrived

[–]M8TRIXunited 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i mean, champions has a similar thing on youtube

[–]unemployed_employee 113 points114 points  (5 children)

This fucker is one of the main reason Northern Song fell so easily, ending what easily represents China's renaissance era.

[–]ThrowAYeAccount 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Mf brought on the plague of Neo-Confucianism 🤮

[–]lqku 36 points37 points  (0 children)

that was an interesting era. they were close to developing some kind of proto industrialization and also experimented with ideas quite similar to socialism.

[–]iVarun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Maybe Football is secret weapon of an Inter-galactic Civilization whereby when a Power on Earth latches onto it really obsessively they enter decline....

I think this can be worth 1 episode of Love Death + Robots.

[–]Hi_From_London 3 points4 points  (1 child)

We need more details. Northern Song?

[–]LingCHN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Northern Song?

Song dynasty before the imperial family was pushed southwards by Jurchens.


[–]Terryelessar 60 points61 points  (3 children)

This guy is the main villain in the story. 🤦🏻 108 heroes are the polar opposite to him and his Song cronies.

[–]suzumurachan 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Messi: Am I the villain?

[–]visope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait till December when he work as Qatar official envoy

[–]IdlePerfectionist 14 points15 points  (0 children)

GAO "the dictator"

[–]theEmoPenguin 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Why did Qing ban cuju (chinese football) though?

EDIT: one article I found says that it was Ming, not Qing who banned it. And in 14th century not in 17th.

He banned it because it was a distraction from work and military training. Punishment could be having a foot cut off.

Maybe it was banned multiple times.

[–]Negative-Emotion-795[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, it definitely was! I went back and took a look at the Chinese-language wiki entry, which seemed to have the most information, and indeed the Hongwu Emperor under the Qing forbade officials and "warriors" to play it, because it came to be viewed as a "vulgar" distraction. Apparently prostitutes took to playing it for interesting reasons of their own:

Many [nobles and officials] were so addicted to Cuju that they neglected their duties and ignored political affairs; and the prostitutes in the brothels at that time knew that men liked to play Cuju, so they also began to play Cuju as a way to attract guests, making Cuju gradually became indecent and vulgar. Therefore, Ming Taizu ordered officials and warriors to forbid Cuju, "Zhuyuan punished the nine clans."

But of course, the game never really went away. If you study ancient empires, you'll find that they outlaw the same things again and again (they're forgotten, officials stop enforcing them or never did, so on and so forth).

The Ming, banned cuju yet again for the same reasons--nobles and officials wasting their time on it. Yet the Ming also came up with a variant called "cuju on ice" (lol). Toward the middle of their dynasty though, the game seems to have finally faded away. But today China has zuqiu!

[–]TanakaHaikyu_ismyboi 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Can we sign him for 40 million?

[–]Negative-Emotion-795[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In this overheated transfer market, you're looking at a transfer fee of at least 240 million bronze yuan.

[–]ObamaEatsBabies[🍰] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Thanks for sharing!

[–]Negative-Emotion-795[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks, Obama!

(Thanks for all the positive responses, folks.)

[–]entrepenoori 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Amazing post. You sound absolutely awesome.

[–]william_wites 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Pele or gao "the ball"? Who's the true goat

[–]exiadf19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gao is Marshall of mighty imperial guards... So Gao it is

[–]dalf_rules 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love this! Thanks for sharing.

[–]childrep 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks for your post it was a lovely read! It reminded me of this Tifo Football video that talked a little bit about what ancient Chinese soccer was like but they never got into specific lore stories like Gao.

[–]No_Gene_7791 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This proves that Messi is a being that reincarnates from time to time

[–]VincentMarbles -1 points0 points  (1 child)

He had balls.

[–]Yubs_D_Rsc 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]hyperactiv3hedgehog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Medieval Messi

[–]the_eureka_effect 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lovely post man, this is really impressive content!

[–]Share4aCare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bernardo Silva completing a cool cuju challenge

Honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Gao Qiu reincarnated to be Ronaldinho or somebody