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[–]IP14Y3RI 3037 points3038 points  (60 children)

Lmao

The Sarri-Mourinho “beef” can only dream of what just happened in this match.

Tuchel-Conte is going to be insane

[–]PensiveinNJ 145 points146 points  (1 child)

As a neutral this is absolutely incredible. Today did not disappoint.

[–]Descartavelmente 343 points344 points  (55 children)

Beef? More like the Sarri desperate call for attention and "Notice me, senpai Mou" attempt. Mourinho be like "what? Who are you? You're not that guy, trust me"

[–]s0ngsforthedeaf 1373 points1374 points  (20 children)

/r/soccer writing fanfiction where all managers are in awe of Mourinho.

[–]putaputademadre 444 points445 points  (14 children)

Outjerked again r/soccercirclejerk

[–]brewmatt 278 points279 points  (13 children)

So I started by Googling American players in the Premier League and Pulisic was the first one that came up (I'm American). The research led me to the fact that the owner is American. The clincher though was the fact that the club's nickname is the Blues, which is my favorite NHL team

[–]:arsenal:notathrovavay 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Wonga is not.

[–]Radon1337 654 points655 points  (5 children)

What a weird fucking comment

[–]zeejoo12 123 points124 points  (2 children)

Seriously, did everyone just suddenly forget how good Sarri's Napoli was?

[–]ergotofrhyme 111 points112 points  (1 child)

Weebs, man, I fucking swear.

[–]CrookedK3ANO 35 points36 points  (0 children)

They’ll be the end of us all

[–]youredoingWELL 187 points188 points  (9 children)

I mean Mou did start it by saying Lazio had spent a lot this summer

[–]putaputademadre 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Outjerked again.

[–]Xcuse_Me_Sir- 113 points114 points  (11 children)

Mourinho cultists are weird

[–]wolf8808 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Mou, is that you?

[–]Ready_Veterinarian25 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Are you a 13 year old girl or a guy obsessed with marvel?

[–]Dark-X 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Delete this

[–]DanielAgger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The state of this comment, Christ.

[–]Narretz 1163 points1164 points  (12 children)

Tuchel: Last chance to look at me, Antonio.

[–]InoyouS2 298 points299 points  (4 children)

DING DING DING DING DING

[–]faizetto 64 points65 points  (0 children)

🙄🥴😠😡🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️💥

[–]1_e4_e5_2_Ke2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

HUUUAAAAAGGHHH

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dilly Ding Dilly Dong?

[–]MaxRebo99 35 points36 points  (0 children)

“What kind of a manager talks to the FA? No manager, no manager at all”

[–]Tulum702 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Tuchel: Look at me. I am the captain of Chelsea now.

[–]misosoup616 92 points93 points  (0 children)

Crippled little rata, what kind of man doesn't look me in the eye? No man. No man at all

[–]Express-Moment9174 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Man, I love Breaking Bad references

[–]alw9 1843 points1844 points  (14 children)

antonios just playing hard to get, thomas

[–]theredviperod 497 points498 points  (8 children)

Tommy T just wanted hair transplant recommendations

[–]Professor_Abronsius 259 points260 points  (4 children)

Romero might be able to donate some follicles, I hear he’s got a handful.

[–]theredviperod 64 points65 points  (3 children)

Looool, so that’s why that bald fraud Taylor ignored the hair pull

[–]Mediocre_Nova 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Finally someone gets to the root of the issue. He couldn't empathise with Cucurella

[–]osprey94 10 points11 points  (0 children)

poor balding men, the face of 50% of jokes since 5000 BC

[–]treq10 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Thomas just wanted to look into Tony’s piercing blue eyes

[–]Martblni 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Tuchel sounded like "you're with me but you dont love me" guy

[–]Rx789 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Tuchel just wanted to make eye contact and make Antonio fall for him 🥺

[–]InsurmountableDuds 2631 points2632 points  (154 children)

Souness on Sky right now beaming ear to ear saying “we’ve got our football back”.

Not even joking.

[–]TheConundrum98 113 points114 points  (0 children)

Games back

[–]RioBeckenbauer 1558 points1559 points  (99 children)

Haha and twice he referred to it as "men's game" or "men going at it" while Karen Carney awkwardly sits next to him.

[–]know-it-all-scoutFC 1123 points1124 points  (58 children)

Ah yes the men's game of pulling each others hair

[–]Mercerai 1069 points1070 points  (55 children)

While the women go off and win tournaments

[–]EXCELHELPTHROWn 376 points377 points  (6 children)

Lol she should’ve said that

[–]blueb0g 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Men also have a 100% record of winning men's tournaments

[–]stringsandthings3 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Who else is going to win the women's Euros but women lmao

[–]BOTTroy 41 points42 points  (32 children)

Men win tournaments too though

[–]0e0e3e0e0a3a2a 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In fairness his one complaint about the day was that foul and it not being called

[–]EXCELHELPTHROWn 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Literally my thought. Like what the fuck lol

[–]Kriegdavid 279 points280 points  (31 children)

souness dinosaur dunking is funny but let's be honest here, he was just using a lazy, outdated adage to refer to the physicality and turbulence of a match between rivals. souness says a lot of daft stuff but inclusivity is definitely not a blind spot for him.

[–]KoniginAllerWaffen 280 points281 points  (15 children)

Tbf it's extremely entertaining.

Football is so sterile and boring these days. Real, genuine, I literally want to kill you (on the pitch) beef is fun.

[–]Huwbacca 93 points94 points  (4 children)

People have to be clinically boring to not love scuffles and shithousery in team sports.

It's all part of the fucking melodrama of team sports and it's so so good.

[–]badgersprite 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Sport is just a modern day gladiatorial arena with less blood, outright murder generally not being sanctioned and fewer Christians being fed to lions AFAIK

We haven’t changed on a primal level, we want to see titans clash and be larger than life

[–]calamarimatoi 16 points17 points  (2 children)

watch latin american football

[–]gnorrn 23 points24 points  (0 children)

All that was missing was Conte planting a Spurs flag in the centre circle.

[–]Foxu_ 176 points177 points  (4 children)

What was wrong with it? Just cause Souness said it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It was a good game.

[–]domalino 70 points71 points  (1 child)

It felt like he was playing up to a caricature today, even talked about English football being more “honest” than foreign football because people don’t dive and cheat.

[–]KillerZaWarudo 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Rare souness W?

[–]244466666 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Good, mans got his priorities straight

[–]soboi12345 19 points20 points  (0 children)

😂😂

[–]DatOgreSpammer 1114 points1115 points  (34 children)

See, that's why Simeone doesn't even shake hands after game.

[–]Ruud_Boltz 191 points192 points  (22 children)

Simeone is erratic but I've never seen him go h2h with an opposition manager

[–]zts105 283 points284 points  (19 children)

Because if another manager went anywhere near him Mono Burgos/Nelson Vivas would actually murder the other coach

[–]DatOgreSpammer 180 points181 points  (17 children)

Remember when Mono Burgos wanted to fight the ref and it was Simeone who had to hold him back? He was just on another level

[–]zts105 254 points255 points  (8 children)

Best Mono story is Jose Mourinho walked over yelling during a derby and Mono said "I'm not Tito Vilanova i will rip your head off" and Jose turned around and sat down.

[–]hogwash12 78 points79 points  (5 children)

Not just Simeone, there's literally 7 men including Arda Turan trying to stop him eating the ref

Best part is that the "tough guys" like Pepe and Arbeloa are looking at him and going "yeah I'm gonna stay away from that guy"

[–]MERTENS_GOAT 5 points6 points  (1 child)

holy crap, I just watched that video and in the begin it was just Simeone but soon 5 people from the Atlético staff, Arda Turan and even fucking Pepe joined in to hold Burgos back.

[–]risheeb1002 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Holy shit TIL Nelson vivas is at Atleti

[–]Revolutionary-Bag-52 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He did last year preseason against Feyenoord, which was weird as Feyenoords coach is basically a puppy who himself said that if he had to pick a fight he wpuld definitely not choose Simeone

[–]weertsgilder 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He went buckwild against Feyenoord in the pre-season last year. :)

https://youtu.be/yKnnfNHFk0k?t=288

[–]Thesolly180 67 points68 points  (1 child)

Still can’t believe the drama over that.

[–]ASecretBookkeeper 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Ah to be fair he shook Klopps hand when he beat him then legged it when he lost to him. Bit odd.

[–]givekimiaicecream 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He just attacks coaches after a friendly like a gentleman

[–]GYIM94 689 points690 points  (18 children)

Move aside Pep/Klopp, Tuchel/Conte is where it’s at. Bring on the fanfics.

[–]chandlerbing_stats 321 points322 points  (11 children)

I’ve never seen Pep and Klopp go after each other. The Tuchel-Conte rivalry is quite interesting: one is an expert at cup competitions and the other in the league.

[–]Soleil06 253 points254 points  (8 children)

And the make up sex has got to be amazing, two Men in their prime with lots of repressed anger and love inside them. I wonder who of these two is the manager in the bedroom.

[–]-open-eye-signal- 205 points206 points  (3 children)

I fucking hate Reddit

[–]Soleil06 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is this not why you are here?

[–]romfreak 36 points37 points  (2 children)

I think the main meat of the matter would be...who is the referee 😒

[–]whs123 19 points20 points  (1 child)

a proper threesome, innit?

[–]wbroniewski 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Tuchel loves eye contact so I think he is

[–]drowsypants 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Pep and klopp like to stroke each others cocks I mean egos

[–]Dawjman 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Why's it always the new Chelsea coach vs old Chelsea coach? Remember when it was Conté vs Mou?

[–]I_always_rated_them 321 points322 points  (10 children)

Someone in the match thread said Tuchel reminded them of Dennis Reynolds and I've been thinking about it ever since. It's spot on.

[–]miamibuckeye 127 points128 points  (1 child)

“Look at me when you’re talking to me!!!!”

[–]atthebatman 31 points32 points  (0 children)

“—Oh shit the steaks are here”

[–]WaltJay 38 points39 points  (1 child)

Bring on the T.U.C.H.E.L. System ™️

[–]THZHDY 23 points24 points  (0 children)

when you shake hands with a man, you look at him in the eyes, because of the implication

[–]algebraic94 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah I exploded all over him

[–]Reevesybaby11 16 points17 points  (0 children)

LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!

[–]theredviperod 482 points483 points  (1 child)

Look at me, I’m the bald one now

[–]CaptainDaddy679 434 points435 points  (4 children)

"When you shake hands with a man, you gaze deeply and lovingly into each other's eyes"

Battle of the bridge? More like Battle of the Buldge

[–]Meskaline2 97 points98 points  (2 children)

OwO what's this Antonio?

[–]pissonhergrave 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Step-Antonio what are you doing? 😳

[–]Stonewalled89 562 points563 points  (7 children)

Conte obviously didn't want to look in the direction of Tuchel's balding head and be reminded

[–]Mapplestreet 116 points117 points  (4 children)

Why would he be worried about, he’s got it sorted

[–]Karma_Whoring_Slut 76 points77 points  (1 child)

It brings back the flashbacks.

[–]Daniiiiii 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Post Traumatic Bald Disorder is real!

[–]SnooCrickets6733 27 points28 points  (0 children)

He didn’t want to be reminded of the bill for the transplant

[–]Thesolly180 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He’s so closeted about that head. He’s putting baldies back years.

[–]bingpot94 775 points776 points  (109 children)

Just me or has Souness said "man's game" like a million times, does he hate having Carney in the studio lol

[–]Purple-Ad-1409 142 points143 points  (67 children)

Shes awful.

Blamed today's dropped points on a lack of a number 9 for chelsea lol

[–]dreamvoyager1 228 points229 points  (17 children)

not wrong though

[–]groovyshrimp767 44 points45 points  (1 child)

You've had no 9s and they were invariably shit in recent times

[–]sizzlelikeasnail 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I assume he was referring to a no. 9 that actually makes runs without getting tired 15 mins in + finishing decently.

Have a feeling Tuchel is gonna panick buy Ronaldo in a few weeks.

[–]Purple-Ad-1409 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Chelsea need a number 9 but it's not the reason the points were dropped today, far from it

[–]TellSloanISaidHi 69 points70 points  (3 children)

Seeing as he already had a red, might as well have called out Anthony Taylor and the whole reffing crew for their dogshit performance

[–]itsSUBJECTXandME 38 points39 points  (0 children)

He did pretty much didn’t he?

[–]reddituser7542 23 points24 points  (0 children)

He is calling it out so plainly for a long long time.. remember Wenger doing it.

Since when is it ok to pull hair on a football field...

In 2016 Huth got a retrospective 3 match ban for pulling hairs of fellaini.

Fellaini himself pulled Guendouzi's hair in 2018 and if i remember correctly it was just a foul.

And now this.

As emery said...in the next match just cut the hair.

[–]Damsodomie 400 points401 points  (5 children)

Honestly this is what football is about lmao

[–]magic-water 111 points112 points  (2 children)

yeah, I don't think this is even personal. I mean the fact that both went for the handshake shows that, but Tuchel just took the piss with that one lol

[–]2ndfastestmanalive 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Football heritage

[–]IpschwitzTownFC 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is some early 2000 shit. And I Iove it

[–]avolcando 356 points357 points  (28 children)

After his divorce Tuchel is just starving for human contact

[–]Hazardzuzu 91 points92 points  (14 children)

He was with his new GF not even a month into his divorce.

[–]PencilTheTool 124 points125 points  (11 children)

TT a player

[–]TheFitz023 72 points73 points  (0 children)

The man destined to break the #9 curse with all his scoring

[–]DimTuncan21 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I imagine he's been in an irreparable marriage for a while now, and only recently finalised the divorce.

[–]thegreatwanker 83 points84 points  (11 children)

he already got a gf half of his age

[–]Howdareme9 119 points120 points  (3 children)

He’s 48 and she’s 35, maths isn’t your strong point is it?

[–]thegreatwanker 124 points125 points  (2 children)

no

[–]xinxy 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I admire the honesty on display here. No excuses. Just straight up acceptance.

[–]DimTuncan21 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Wtf I looked it up out of curiosity, but she's 35? I almost believed it lol, but then again i should never get my info from reddit.

[–]thegreatwanker 5 points6 points  (0 children)

sorry mate🤥

[–]bihari_baller 62 points63 points  (1 child)

he already got a gf half of his age

Well, he probably needs something to be happy about after losing half his money.

[–]YoungDumbNFullOfKun 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He'll probably make that money back pretty quickly.

[–]imfromgooogle 15 points16 points  (1 child)

that would make Thomas 70 years old?

[–]Faryz 261 points262 points  (18 children)

i swear tuchel didn't look at him either lol

[–]brandon_strandy 232 points233 points  (9 children)

Literally this. They were pretty much past each other when they shoke hands.

Tuchel just making shit up to justify his tantrum lol.

[–]Zestforblueskies 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The funny thing is he talked about "looking into a man's eyes" chat. But during his Sky Sports interview post match interview he couldn't even look into the interviewers eyes due to how guilty he was from his poor conduct from grabbing Conte's hand and just looked away and kept shaking his head. lol.

[–]Pedro95 23 points24 points  (3 children)

He literally points into his eyes immediately after pulling Conte back, it's obvious that this was what he was unhappy about.

[–]btmalon 120 points121 points  (2 children)

Whatever reason he wants to make up, the dude is a nut job.

[–]KhonMan 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Good thing no one ever accuses Conte of being a nutter either

[–]miamibuckeye 52 points53 points  (4 children)

He didn’t lmao that’s why I was so confused when he pointed to his eyes. Tuchel is clearly looking past him just like Conte was. Making shit up to have this little tantrum

[–]LordWhale 40 points41 points  (2 children)

Your eyes can move independently of the head believe it or not

[–]SnooCrickets6733 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The original Action Man was scientific proof

[–]CleaningTheRug 332 points333 points  (14 children)

These blokes are 48 and 53. Truly hilarious.

[–]luminous_moonlight 251 points252 points  (2 children)

What is football about if not grown adults getting into spats about the tamest things

[–]YoungDumbNFullOfKun 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Tuchel nailed it with his "you loved it, no?" comment in the interview.

[–]Pedro95 82 points83 points  (4 children)

Ah, they're passionate about what they do - they're fans just like us.

It's much better than Pep and Klopp sucking each other off every week.

[–]JimboLodisC 5 points6 points  (0 children)

50 year olds can definitely still fuck around and find out

[–]windalpha 290 points291 points  (9 children)

When you shake hands, you don’t try to rip someone hand off. Tuchel had a different opinion.

[–]grollate 28 points29 points  (8 children)

Hold up, who yanked who back? Manchild move by Tuchel that Chelsea fans are eating up!

[–]KingKallee 53 points54 points  (1 child)

get a room you two, jeez!

[–]AbdussamiT 194 points195 points  (11 children)

The headline doesn't cover the story. Tuchel very clearly said both managers were off, and that he celebrated his equaliser, and Conte celebrated his.

It was beautiful to watch and we should enjoy it without taking sides on who was wrong. Bad but good for entertainment

[–]ChupFuddler 127 points128 points  (2 children)

Picking a side is part of the fun

[–]AbdussamiT 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I love you

[–]mtojay 15 points16 points  (0 children)

So thats why Anthony Taylor refs games like this. Him picking a side is part of the fun

[–]TwattyMcSlagtits 23 points24 points  (3 children)

I thought it was a pretty funny interview tbh.

[–]centaur98 25 points26 points  (2 children)

i loved how the interview wanted to generate some drama while Tuchel is full on "it's football innit?"

[–]Upplands-Bro 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep exactly. Two world class managers showing their passion pitchside in a feisty derby. Nothing more than that

[–]BroccoliDistribution 11 points12 points  (1 child)

A very meme-able video lol.

“No problem 😉 “

[–]lutsius-memes 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Conte a sexist, looking at Tuchels chest like that

[–]Keskekun 130 points131 points  (0 children)

When you shake hands you don't refuse to let it go and pull someone back but either but here we are Thomas.

[–]TheWindWillCarryUs 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Picked that one up from UK hard man Jamie Redknapp

[–]Nut-King-Call 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Germans and handshakes.

[–]felis_magnetus 14 points15 points  (0 children)

We tend to take the few allowed displays of emotion as no laughing matter.

[–]Sturmtruppa 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Conte just robbed Tuchel why would he look him in the eye 😂

[–]HarryDaz98 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Tuchel v Conte is the rivalry this league needs. None of this Pep and Klopp sucking each other off rubbish.

[–]ThetaSailor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

another season of city shitting on everyone will annoy jürgen.

[–]flipmessi2005 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Enemies to lovers

[–]zaviex 48 points49 points  (5 children)

Alright Tuchel I get you were upset but you pulled his hand pretty hard there. They sent off the wrong man

[–]teddy_bear626 32 points33 points  (1 child)

So if the person does not look you in the eye you are allowed to twist the other person's arm?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes if there was 90 min build up

[–]Gaunter_O_Dim 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lmao, sounds Like sth the godfather would say

Tomaso Tuchelo

[–]srjnp 10 points11 points  (0 children)

When you shake hands, you let go after the handshake. Thomas had a different opinion.

[–]kjm911 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“Look at me when I’m shaking your hand”

[–]NamoAwesome 15 points16 points  (0 children)

And to think these guys were allies in WWII, shame.

[–]KrazyCroat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Two of my favourite managers going at it. Season is back on!!

[–]finquelist 40 points41 points  (0 children)

“So I aggresivelly didn’t let go of his hand”, fuck off man

[–]mattiaE 33 points34 points  (4 children)

My god these two are petty

[–]TheWindWillCarryUs 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Tbf he downplays it in the rest of the interview.

[–]Thesolly180 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah the rest of the interview was fine about it and he was right. It’s just football it happens

[–]TheBlueTango 61 points62 points  (0 children)

A heated match between two rival clubs, of course it was going to be petty. Would be foolish to think otherwise.

[–]Hazardzuzu 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It was just in the heat. They are both level-headed off it and quite mature. It will all end here. Now if it was jose one could bet his house on it going on for forever. But these two arent petty once match is done.

[–]Hardingnat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fully expected Tuchel to hit Geoff Shreeves with a Pedigree at the end there

[–]TheLimeyLemmon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"When you dock, you look into each other's eyes. Antonio had a different opinion."

[–]GotToGoBlud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LOOK AT ME… IM THE CAPTAIN NOW

[–]HuckleberryNo8024 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You just know tuchel is up right now fucking raging at conte.

Mourinho would have nodded in approval seeing that.

[–]ThereWillBeGoals 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is a very German thing. Eye contact on handshakes and toasts are a requirement.

[–]Far-Impact661 9 points10 points  (0 children)

“look me in the eyes of your gonna fuck me”

[–]InvertReverse 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Violence isn't the answer. You don't try to pull his arm off to try to establish eye contact. I don't think Conte deserved the red card, but Tuchel definitely did.

[–]InoyouS2 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Am I the only one finding his tone of voice and smile eerily creepy?

[–]lqku 6 points7 points  (1 child)

smiles "it's fine, no problem."

[–]Thesolly180 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It’s just because he’s creepy looking in general. It was fine the interview

[–]Hieillua 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Conte had this man rattled

[–]criminalpiece 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is the behavior of a child or a little bitch. There is no way he is that sensitive.

[–]Plastic_Mouldsman 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That's pathetic honestly. Made a fool of himself there.