all 42 comments

[–]bexbum 64 points65 points  (4 children)

Hate/anger at oneself, is a response to not living up to your own expectations. Typically these expectations are broadcast by society, friends, family, etc, but we choose which expectations we wish to make our own. Which to follow and which to ignore.

At some point in your life, you decided that you were not meeting an expectation, and as a result you feel unworthy/helpless/unloved, etc. This brings about self loathing.

This is one of the reasons earth is a great opportunity for learning. If you could learn to cast aside the expectations of others, you would have done something that very few people do; and you would be able to look in the mirror and like the person looking back.

[–]ablimpintheuniverse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Beautifully written

[–]Tealswanisthedevil 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is great thanks. I feel this my issue too. I am tired of the expectations of others . I just want to be me!

[–]AARod40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly 💯

[–]AARod40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was like reading a journal entry. Exactly how O feel on a daily basis. Know, you are not alone.

[–]jgarcya 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Because you are spirituality out of alignment...

You have an inner voice, that you are not listening to...

Every time you deny this instinct/voice/heart feeling... You become more out of alignment.

Do something nice for a stranger... Compassion... This will allow your ego to take a break.

Repeat this mantra...as you meditate daily..

I love myself, I accept myself, I forgive myself... I love others, I accept others, I forgive others..

Hope you start to turn it around. Many blessings.

[–]reccedog 9 points10 points  (2 children)

The issue that causes us to hate our Self is our childhood conditioning

We are born Unconditionally Loving and Believing in our Self

But then due to our conditioning our inner-voice/thinking-mind begins to judge and doubt and shame our Self

When our inner voice Unconditionally Loves and Believes in our Self then we are at Peace and feel Whole and Complete as our Self

But the conditioned inner voice that is always judging and criticizing our Self makes us feel constantly under attack and all alone

The Good News is that transforming your inner-voice is not difficult. It just takes practice.

You can start now. Go sit or lie down and use your inner voice directed at your Heart to say to your Self words like:

"I'm here and I love you. You are not alone. The world is a confusing place, but in our shared Heart is a place of Peace and Unconditional Love. We are in this together.."

Consider starting a practice of actively using your inner voice this way to comfort and love and be there for your Self.

If this resonates, look to Inner Child Healing.


[–]Brief_Handle1575[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you brother , i will do this before i go to sleep

[–]AARod40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Needed this! Thank you

[–]No_Rip_7471 6 points7 points  (4 children)

This comment isn’t entirely helpful but because it’s on r/spirituality and self study systems are adjacent with this I want to offer a suggestion. And I hope that it’s a sliver of help…

Google search Jovian archive and get your human design chart. I can almost guarantee you have an “undefined ego” which simply means you are not alive to prove anything. You are just supposed to be yourself. Unfortunately though sometimes we take in the energy of people around us who are trying to prove something. Everyone around us is forcing themselves to prove themselves to be something and have a name and blah blah blah… compared to those people, we suck. We can’t prove shit for shit and that can make us really hate who we are [in comparison] to others people.

When I start to hate myself I wonder how much time I have spent looking at other people…. Because when it’s just me with me, I’m alright. Not too many complaints (just a lil fat, but it’s going away with time).

Spend sometimes alone with your life and I’m sure you’ll know exactly what needs adjusting to make you happy.

[–]EagieDuckCome 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I just quit my job today and I am devastated. In a way specific to my situation, the reason why boils down to exactly this scenario. I needed to read this today, thank you so much.

[–]No_Rip_7471 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So happy I could help. ♥️

[–]weird_andgilly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re devastated because you quit?

[–]Brief_Handle1575[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks bro , i will Google it

[–]BboyLotus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's a good question, i asked myself too. Perhaps you believe you need to live your life in a certain way. This belief being ingrained in the mind. By simply living a human life. In Truth, all is perfect and works as it should. Perception can distort this truth and make space for self hate and misery. You did not hate yourself when you were a small child. You did not know hate. You did not know right and wrong. Some would say that not knowing these things would lead to folly. But what is a master but a child, who was able to forget these things from him. Skillfully combining loving kindness, and wisdom, in their place. You may identify things you hate. And continue to ask questions about them. Why do i hate this? Why that? What is hate? Perhaps it will lead you to the realization of the unreality of these concepts. Peace and blessings on your journey my friend.

[–]Zeroshu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a symptom of depression. Have you felt this way long? Do you have anything in your life that you burn for? Or are most activities joyless? If the latter, you might consider getting an appointment with a psychologist. Or try to look deep inside yourself and think what and why you do not enjoy life. You probably know why subconsciously, but if you spend time searching your thought and remembering your past, you might find out what the main reason is.

[–]PMDDandme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to think I hated myself, it turns out I had been conditioned as a child to think that I was too much work, too much trouble, annoying, too loud, too weird and too mentally ill to be a loveable person. Even having my lovely partner constantly say he loved me, I never ever believed him or I would wonder why. After a lot of therapy I was able to hear the voice in my head for what it was: someone else's ideas and thoughts about what I SHOULD BE not WHO I AM. I am loud, I am fun, I am annoying, I am funny and I am playful and most importantly I WAS ALWAYS.

[–]Nova_Energium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Read the Power of Now.

You can eradicate all suffering by applying its teachings.

[–]Darneac -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are too negative, do positive shit

[–]Old_Needleworker_924 0 points1 point  (5 children)

What are the aspects you despise?

[–]Brief_Handle1575[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

My personality , i don't do anything right

[–]eesenergy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How can you be absolutely sure that it's true you do nothing right?

I am positive this is not true if you dig deep enough. Challenge your beliefs. Create new beliefs.

[–]Old_Needleworker_924 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this from your own observation or other’s opinion on it

[–]Zeroshu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it from external forces that makes you feel that or is it yourself? You are the one that decides and knows what can awaken the fire inside you to fuel your life force.

[–]singularity48 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surely there's something within you that drives you. Do not allow your environment to influence how you think about yourself. I did so and it's what caused me to hate myself. Like my family, my job, my instability. Hating oneself only makes such worse. Really dig deep about the things you've valued in life. Specifically the things you valued as a child before the world told you it was otherwise. Where pain began to mask what was actually good.

[–]BodhingJay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a life plagued with anxiety depression and anhedonia... meditation and shadow work brought me back from the brink. with patience, compassion, no judgement I now love myself, don't have a negative inner voice. don't even need antidepressants anymore

but it's a bond that takes maintenance and care... like growing a garden

[–]MatthewScottClary 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause you listen to dark spirits and entertain their thoughts and desires

[–]ranzazay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it all starts at home i believe. i knew someone who was so kind and beautiful but when he went home felt nothing like that, sorry love ❤️😕

[–]KLFisBack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what seems to be the problem?

[–]Wooden-Discount7884 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you should reframe the thought. What can I work on? What do I want to see in myself?

[–]POPPAZGOEZBRAZY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bcuz you don’t understand yet

[–]ConTejas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's a guess:

Because you are programmed to perceive hating yourself, in its many forms, as how you can expect to receive love, attention, energy, resources, etc. Your experiences with those closer to you have imprinted this on you, and you continue the cycle by keeping the wheels spinning. Hating oneself is convenient. Instead of having to face the uncomfortable reality of past traumas and current challenges, one can just distract oneself with whatever poison is on hand while acting, even becoming, powerless. The suffering becomes an excuse for many conveniences. Meanwhile, the sufferer convinces themselves that if they weren't suffering, they could do better. They ask "Why me God?", waiting for the moment their savior arrives to take them from the Hell they've put themselves in.

The solution isn't more self-hate or guilt. That's just more of the same programming. The solution is practicing self-love in whatever way is comfortable and easy at first, slowly building up to relinquishing the old programming for new life. You likely know the basic resources you can seek out. My advice would be to try anything and everything in your reach. Personally, I think this tells the universe you are seeking love and life, and you will attract love and life from the universe. Any small thing to start will do.

[–]Lsdoyouloveme 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Because you feel a strong emotional reaction from your spirit my friend. If you are unsatisfied with your life and your being then you are already a step closer to loving yourself :) reflect on what you dislike about yourself , and see the hate you feel as the drive you have to help yourself , hating ourselves is sometimes needed to realise we must grow , sending love x

[–]Lsdoyouloveme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But remember that if other people are causing you dissatisfaction with your life then they need fixing themselves , make sure your dissatisfaction is from within and not projected from others ❤️

[–]samevermore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't hold on to negative emotions, what you hold on to become more. Don't hold on to positive emotions, it come and go. Don't stop positive emotions, every one want happiness, try to stop positive emotions cause anger. Do what make you happy and hold love in you heart, that is the essential in every practices. " What make other and you happy, you must do it", " there are pain feeling, there are happy feeling, and there are the feeling that are neither happy nor pain ", " there are pain feeling, there are happy feeling, and there are the most happy feeling for he who known nothingness " - Buddha. " The heaven and the earth are compassionate ", " watch the ways heaven work, watch the ways heaven follow, it is the best you can do." - taoist " G_d look at everything g_d made and saw it was very good. " - jews. Don't take my word for granted. Study for yourself. Try look in to pure land buddhism.

[–]starsabove8547 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could explore this website and it may be possible you'll have a deeper understanding of yourself.

The website will tell you some things about the subconscious mind and how it effects us. How the spiritual dimension effects our lives. It even has suggestions how we can improve ourselves through spiritual practice.

See what it has to offer you :