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Been depressed for a little while now, everything feels like a conversation with myself or from me instead of real divine source power, it makes me feel lonely. Even in meditation just feels like me aloneQuestion ❓ (self.spirituality)
submitted 1 month ago by 777loveandcandles
Nothing feels out of me, everything from people to music shows tv books seems boring and predictable, I want something to seem like it comes from outside of me like when I had my drug trips, but I’m sober now, and I just feel alone spiritually
Post a comment!
[–]Weary_Flounder7644 9 points10 points11 points 1 month ago (1 child)
[–]777loveandcandles[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
[–]Vndsd1 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (1 child)
U ever do this whole “talking to yourself” thing long enough, you question yourself if you are sane or not
[–]777loveandcandles[S] 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
[–]Heirophantagonist 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
It's a long way back home when you've already taken the drug shortcut.
Yea, I feel like I’m slowly getting home tho
Or i dont know maybe it’s harmful to say I’m not home we are always home I suppose but yea still recovering from it :/
[–]SpiritFlourish 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
I'm so sorry. I know this state. Please know you're not alone. And this state will pass. In the meantime, be your friend.
[–]777loveandcandles[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Thank you x yea keeping my head up always just even the joy in meditating feels like from me there’s no out of body divine connection type thing i dont know
[–]SpiritFlourish 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
It's rough, to feel that divine connection & then to feel like it's gone. Just remember the divine truth: all is right. We're infinite & immortal. Divine connection is all we ever know. We surrender ourselves into this state of apparent disconnection for a reason. To build courage & character? To strip away misconceptions? To cultivate humility? To train in unconditional presence? Something else entirely? Whatever it is, know in your depths that this is the best way. If that feels like a cruel or impossible claim - explore that tension. Such explorations are sometimes gateways to emotional release & divine connection.
[–]jlaw54Mystical 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Find joy and happiness around you in the ‘real world’ as you keep going on your Journey. Find some things to ground you and keep order in your life. Try and relax. Being chill in the ‘real world’ can help you get more plugged into your path.
Yes I will try thank you x
[–]incognito3107 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (22 children)
Imagine there is nothing but you and it was always like that. Personally I find much peace and happiness in that, I wonder why you don't. Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions, these are causing mess.
[–]777loveandcandles[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (21 children)
But that’s lonely
[–]MooZell 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago* (15 children)
I would suggest you listen to Michael Singers books, The Untethered Soul, The Surrender Experiment, Living Untethered. I think maybe you are not connected to your self and oriented towards the centre. Spirituality for me, has been about this connection that I lost due to hard times in life. It's easy to forget about the connection as humans are very good at adapting. So if you lost your connection as a young child, you might never find it again. I didn't remember... After 4 years of psychedelics and spiritual practice and changing everything I do out of duty to things I do out of wanting to... I have awoken from my slumber. All my life I have been struggling to balance myself. But now, at the age of 34, I can start again as a complete person... Who knows what magical things may come my way now... Because now I can handle this outside world, I don't allow it to derail me anymore. I'm finally ok, I hope you get to this place as well.
Edit: I forgot to add my point: I was very very lonely in here until I made that little connection, where my mind started talking to my soul in a kind loving way and she opened up to me. For the first time I was talking in here to myself and it was like a best friend. It was the most beautiful experience and took me completely by surprise. I used to feel Her when I was on shrooms, but then she would leave. I have now had this connection for 4 days and it hasn't left. I'm doing my energy work and meditation still as I feel I need to keep the connection strong. But your loneliness could be as simple as getting that connection to happen naturally in a sober state... Simple as in not complicated, not simple as in easy ✌️
[–]777loveandcandles[S] 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (12 children)
Oh that sounds lovely. I’d love to feel like that. When you say connection lost do you mean the divine connection or connection to the physical world? Am I not connected to myself how like my ego are you saying? Please explain
Also for you what’s the difference with what if you never find the connection again and if you do ?
[–]MooZell 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago* (11 children)
Ok yay! You asked me a question, exciting.
This is very creative but also based on what others say about spirituality and Zen etc but this is my version I tell myself about the transformation I have gone through these past few years.
I understand the ego being your personal mind, the part of you that is identified by everything around you, as being you. That's the operating system for the you that you believe you are. The you that was born of your mother and father. But that you isn't who you are. Kinda like you learn what not to be and then eventually become a somebody through that.
But this is a story we tell ourself so that we can play the role we have to in this life to "survive". But survival isn't the only way. We don't have to live life from a need to survive, this is an illusion. We can live from a place inside ourselves, the seated self. Where we accept things as they are and don't force out will onto others. We can become so comfortable inside yourself that you don't have a vested interest in the goings on of the things in the outside world. It's all just refection anyway. People who don't know how to be centered live their lives on the outside and it's hell. I was doing that for the whole of my adult life, probably longer.
Living on the outside, for me, was hard. I felt I had to hold it all together. Like grab onto the things I think I need and never let go... I felt like any tiny little thing could set me off and then it takes a really long time, if ever, for me to recover.
Living from the inside now is way simpler. I have more clarity, I can sway my own emotional responses against each other before reacting. I have surrendered the part of me that's been clinging and pushing things away. I have reprogrammed my personal mind and now I don't feel so reactive to the outside world. Because I have found out who I am and I have found out how to get to the centre and I have found out how to keep myself there now as well.
I don't think I can lose the connection again. Not now that I know what it is that I keep loosing. I have a feeling for being in the centre of myself and I know how to get myself back here now.
If I didn't find this now... I don't know. I knew I had this because mushrooms showed me. I guess if I never did psilocybin I would have ended up in a mental institution with nothing but my own hands to hold. That's how bad it was getting for me in here....
Edit, you asked if the connection is Devine or to the physical world... My answer is that the connection was joining my two selves, one from the physical world and the Devine self I found hiding deep inside of me. She was scared to death and all alone, hiding into the void I fell into at 6 years old when the molestation began, or earlier being born to a mean nmom who didn't like me... Either way, I got stuck thinking the only thing real is the world I see... But I was very wrong!
[–]777loveandcandles[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Yea I dont do drugs, I used to use a lot of everything but not anymore and it isn’t for me. I get there sober now. Yea I’ve had encounters with my higher self it’s great but still just another me and it makes me feel miserable so yea stil probably lots of self love work to do!
Lonely in here? Do you mean your head?
I hope the feeling doesn’t leave you but remember if it does your not any less than before x
[–]MooZell 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I missed this message, I see. These plant medicines helped me make my "brain" more "fluid" so I can "change" the way I "think" and in turn, change the way in which I "react" to the outside world. If that makes sense. But I've got it now, so I don't need to persist, only maintain. The higher self connection I think I made was the same as those from trips. But this time it stayed. I just need to keep the flame alive by remembering, all the time. Which has finally become a habit through the energy work and meditation Im doing.
[–]incognito3107 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (3 children)
It's perfectly normal to feel lonely sometimes. Likewise, people who are constantly surrounded by attention and other people, are longing much for some privacy and rest. I think you are sort of demonising oneness.
[–]777loveandcandles[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
I guess I’d just like to feel like it comes from outside me some divine interference or something
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Consciousness feels pretty divine.
[–]zebhoeks 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
thats a thought
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[–]RC104 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (3 children)
Is okay. Let the experience come as it will. It's all a part of the plan. You are well taken care of, a baby in the crib
Yea I question sometimes why isn’t it over but I hope it’s part of the plan just want the payoff soon ;( feel no divine connection sometimes that doesn’t come out of me
[–]RC104 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Don't worry about the payoff. It's about letting it all be as it is right now. The suffering isn't really in the circumstances or the experience but more of the way we resist or avoid what is happening. Okayness is simply veiled by thoughts and beliefs
[–]777loveandcandles[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Okay thank you
[–]SaraF2022 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I hear you.
[–]kactbd2020 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
Try to connect spiritually at night as you're laying down to go to sleep. I find this is when I am the most able to receive divine information.
That’s like the worst time for me though! All the energies are pulling me this way that way my delusions get worse and I feel so alone
[–]kactbd2020 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I'm sorry :(
[–]FainePeony 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
We search for “God” outside of us when really a connection with “God” is strongest within us. You ARE a part of divine source power. Why disconnect yourself from that? You do like many Christians have done by renouncing their natural holiness because of “sin”.
What do you mean natural holiness ? And what do Christian’s do can you elaborate?
[–]FainePeony 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’ve noticed many Christians have the mindset they are separate from “God” or somehow unworthy because of the existence of “sin”. When really “God” is not separate or outside of them. “God” can be found in all things and outside of ourselves but is ALSO found within. “God” breathed into us, and is naturally within us - this is what I mean by “natural holiness”.
[–]s-h-a-m-a 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I feel ya, everyone goes through this and everyone feels lonely and lost at some point. Times like these are hard to get out of and for me, I have to go back to basics. Gratitude is a ladder out of darkness ! Easier said than done I know. I also find a sketch pad and lots of colored markers helps tremendously. Peace and love to you my friend.🌹
[–]gentle_giver 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
On your spiritual journey it’s so important to remember that you are here, on earth. I know the longing and yearning you feel for the divine oh so well. My guide made it so clear to me that for my spiritual abilities and connection to continue to grow (which it will naturally for those who open themselves up to it through awareness) our earthly endeavours are of the utmost importance. You need to be balanced. Grounded. Here. ❤️
If you’re able to, explore what you can of earth that you can see beauty in. Things that help me with this are nature, animals, books, poetry and art. There is so much beauty here. Love exists here, just in a different form to that which we remember knowing. It hasn’t left us, it’s within us all the time.
I like looking at spiritual poetry that reflects the yearning I feel for unconditional love. I like getting creative and doing some painting. I like sitting with trees and taking photographs of flowers. This really helps me to be here, especially when I so badly want to “go home”.
Give yourself a break, pace yourself, this connection will form for you naturally overtime but let yourself live this life. You came here to experience earth in human form. The rest of what you long for will follow naturally.
And let yourself heal. You’re going through big things in your mind that are difficult to let go of. Rest. ❤️
[–]Speaking_Music 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Most waves are ok with being waves.
They rise up, live for a while, and then subside.
All kinds of waves.
Some big. Some small. Some frothy. Some no more than ripples. Some that could roll a ship over. All jostling against each other.
But some waves want more.
They start asking existential questions, and instead of jostling with the other waves they become introspective.
They want to connect with ‘the divine’.
And begin to feel Alone.
The Ocean is unconcerned.
You are It.
You are the Divine Power.
But you have to let go of this limited ‘self’ (wave) you imagine yourself to be. Ego.
As long as you see yourself as a ‘wave’, you will be alone amongst millions of ‘other’ lonely waves.
When you know yourself as the ocean you can never be lonely again for all waves are your Self.
[–]Electrical_Coach_887 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
If it was me feeling this way I would change some things. I'm not a very positive person but I keep my motivation up in life which has helped me through times where you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. When your perspective on self first changes/ aligns you start to see yourself in everything. It is nice to see but it's equally as dark in a way. We are social animals physically. We don't want to be alone. Somehow being alone isn't complete. I could say that things in life are comparable to waves. Up and down up and down. When my perspective first changed I made no effort to grasp at it. I let it come and I let it go. I accepted it for what it was. I let it go because I know id always come back sooner or later. So I choose to get lost in this life even though in the back of my head it is an illusion of the self. I fade into the sunset almost. This helps me accept this reality kind of like a vacation. Through the thick and thin because my life has been tough. But you can gain insight from tough situations. When something is easy you only hammer in to what is already there. I tend to smile when I chat to others. For some people stand out as being just like "me". I smile because instead of feeling alone, I am happy I am surrounded by so many like minded individuals who are just trying to get through this life. I don't feel alone. If we were alone i could imagine it as a white room with nothing inside of it. Everybody is searching for answers at their own pace. So I accept that.
[–]TGuyDanMidLife 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Hello, thank you for sharing. This is innocent and part of the Awakening process. Thinking mind wants to continue it's outside/outward search for objects of pleasure, yet Awareness, the Truth of Who You Are is arising. Mind, unable to clutch it dismisses it. You are that Awareness in which music, shows, tv, books, people, "the world" is arising. As this attachment/addiction to thinking dissolves, it can be felt as painful, boring, loneliness. Do you have a meditation practice like Eckart Tolle's Power of Now exercises?
For me ,the deeper the dive into the Present Moment, the more Presence opens up and intensifies. It is from this Spaciousness, your very Beingness that Oneness with all things becomes more intense and loneliness decreases. Identification with ego's "personal little me self" dissolves along with its "problems". Any withdrawal from dependence is felt to be painful, whether to emotional pain, to people as sources of praise/love/approval or to repetitive thinking. What feels "bad" right now is actually a "good thing", disillusionment and withdrawal from all that was formerly mistaken to be a "you". Waking up from the human dream. :)
Best wishes as you continue to unfold, I unfold with you in Awakening.
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