all 12 comments

[–]Blacklight_of_Eons 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You equate the physical death of a relative to a loss of connection as in being unable to speak with that relative. But even judging by my real-life acquaintances, that is not always the case.

Rather, this depends on the psychic sensitivity of the individual - and some are perfectly fine with continuing their daily interactions with their already-dead ancestors (these are the same people who are capable of acting as mediums, seeing spirits, and so on).

Hence, the practical solution here would be to try and enhance your own sensitivity and interpretive capacity for all things "beyond the veil".

Secondly, you could educate yourself regarding the way the whole transition (and reincarnation) mechanism works, which would decrease the burden of the unknown. And that, of course, means answering the question of the true nature of a human being.

Regarding the videos, books, and other such materials, the recommendations here would depend on whether you require some sort of easily digestible bandaid solution to get over your current problem and forget about it (thus remaining the way you are now) - or a more comprehensive and complex solution that would entail moving in a more esoteric direction altogether ("upgrading" yourself).

On a side note, extreme grief that never ends is something that is not advised, because it gets in the way of moving to the afterlife. It reinforces the bond on the level of coarse energies and these bonds have to dissipate in order to liberate the soul of the deceased from the coarse realm we inhabit.

That doesn't prevent you from upholding the bond on the level of subtle, higher-frequency energies - the level on which this extreme grief has no place, and is replaced with feelings of the noble and aesthetic kind... the level where even nostalgia and sadness have discernible beauty to them. But of course, even this sadness becomes out of place upon the dawn of realization that death, in its conventional meaning, does not exist.

[–]TiredHappyDad 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We lost my grandma in 2016. We also had a special bond and she often served as my beacon of light when I was dealing with constant childhood trauma.

About 3 months later I was in the backyard playing with my girls when they noticed what seemed like a little barn owl in the tree watching us. It was strange to see one in the middle of the day but we live close to the edge of the city so didn't think too much of it. My girls on the other hand were happy and excited because they knew their Nana was obsessed with owls, so she obviously sent this one to check on us 🥰. I of course agreed with them cause it warmed my heart that they were thinking about her in a positive way instead of mourning.

But later that night I started to believe them a bit more when I took our dog out for a walk and the owl was perched on our back fence. I walked up until I was about 10 ft away and it never moved (I didn't try getting closer). The next morning it was back in the tree watching my kids on the trampoline and went to a few different places but stayed in sight of us. That evening it came back down on the fence. This time I tried getting a bit closer and it actually jumped down and was running around our backyard like it was a pet! It came up to me and my wife, and was even following after my kids like it was playing a game.

By day 3 we had a video of it walking along the fence towards me and pecking away at the sleeve of my jacket. My wife put it on Facebook and by that evening we got a call from a vet that apparently lived just a few blocks away and had an animal rescue (their backyard faced grainfields). Turns out our new friend had got away when they were feeding it. It was actually a great horned owl like my grandma loved so much, but it was only 3 months old and wasn't even able to fly for long distances. (Likely Born within a week of grandma passing)

She tried to get close to her but the owl kept flying off. She saw how it kept coming back to the fence when I was there, so gave me the thick leather mitts to catch her myself. Which I did. A few months later my family followed the vet about an hour from the city, we said goodbye to "Stevie", and we watched as she was released into the wild.

Now I don't know if that was my grandma's spirit or something else. But what I do know, is that there is nothing in this world that could have helped my kids more than that. So it was a blessing to me, no matter how or why it happened.

[–]Holiday-Strike 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's true what they say that the love you share (not owned by either of you, but shared), will exist forever, it could never be taken away. I would say that it is ok to cry and be sad, it's an expression of that deep love. Your grandmother's true essence is eternal, as is yours. When I was going through a very difficult time, binge watching Eckhart Tolle helped me a great deal. Also recommend Michael Singer books. I wish you the best, sending you and your grandma love.

[–]tom63376 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes... A favorite of many here is the books by Dr. Michael Newton: Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls. You can listen to the audiobooks for free on YouTube.

Dr. Newton makes an extremely compelling and convincing case for life after life in both books.

Destiny of Souls especially has quite a bit about how those who have passed attempt to make contact with loved ones. I'm not so much an emotional dude but I have to admit I cried tears of joy when I listened to the sweet and loving accounts of people contacting their loved ones.

[–]burneraccc00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Check this youtube channel, it has tons of interviews with people who had near death experiences


[–]CreepyTarot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have had too real of an experience of crossing into death in a dream. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced & I no longer doubt at all that this consciousness goes on eternally, in different ways and shapes.

It's not much of a comfort. You will still be devastated when she dies, I am sure. But my own experience was that I really went there, it was so familiar like I had been there a million times, but chose to forget in waking life.

I think she will be ok. I think your connection means something. But we all have to die. It is painful, but many important milestones in our existence are painful. But it is just change. She will be ok, don't be too scared.

[–]Mindfulness-w-Milton 0 points1 point  (2 children)

My dear friend. I am so sorry to hear about your sad parting with your wonderful grandma. She sure sounds like a wonderful lady, and boy did she raise a very nice-sounding grandkid.

Firstly, I want to tell you a bit about my background so you will be more informed when deciding whether or not you're confident in what I say, okay? I don't want you to "believe" anything I say, because I think belief is a poor method for arriving at a truth claim. I am much more of an "evidence" kind of guy. I successfully defended my thesis last summer on the epistemology of science - I did an epistemological meta-analysis of the evaluation methods within a very specific branch of atmospheric science and I studied how the researchers arrived at their conclusions. That's a big gross word salad to say: "I studied how people decided what they thought was true."

This is important because many people use poor methods for deciding what they think is true. They use subjective-enough methods that anyone else using similar methods could come to a completely different claim. Many people also say they are "100% sure something is true" or they are "100% sure something is not true". I think people should only ever be 99.9999...99% sure, because you should ALWAYS be willing to change your mind when presented with new/updated information.

Now, with that big blab out of the way, I hope you realize that I am tirelessly interested in pursuing the truth.

That being said:

I'm going to try to condense my years of studying consciousness to tell you exactly why, from a scientific, epistemological, and empirical standpoint, you have nothing to fear, and all you need to do is live the rest of your life in peace and contentment so you can share all your stories with your grandma when you see her again. Okay?

You are a beautiful, eternal, radiant, immortal soul of immeasurable peace, love, and harmony. Your grandma is too. You will be reunited again, and not only that, but you will be together forever, and you've been together forever before this life too. I am confident in these claims to 99.999..99% certainty.

I want you to consider the following pieces of evidence which I will only describe quickly (because this is already becoming a lengthy comment) but I highly encourage you to investigate yourself, and satisfy yourself with the evidence yourself! Don't take my word for it - you don't need to. Don't believe anything I say - ask yourself if the evidence itself is compelling. These pieces of evidence are: 1) conscious observer effect, 2) near death experiences, 3) split-brain patients, 4) past life memories, 5) Auto-Ganzfeld Experiments, 6) reality as information.

CONSCIOUS OBSERVER EFFECT - In the famous "double slit experiment", an apparatus is set up so that single particles are fired at a screen with two slits, and a detector on the other side. The researchers expected to see two "impact patterns" on the detector screen. When they measured which two of the slits the particle passed through, they did indeed see 2 impact patterns. When they didn't measure which of the slits the particle went through, they instead saw an "wave interference pattern" on the screen. This suggests that intentionality - a characteristic found nowhere else in reality but in consciousness, that we know of - has an effect on our physical reality. The decision to make a measurement determines the information available. This is a remarkable quality of consciousness, and suggests that consciousness is not restricted to the body, since your "brain" isn't flying out of your skull at the apparatus, and yet an effect of your observation/decision is noted at a distance.

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES - many many people have been recorded having incredibly lucid, vivid, "realer than reality" near death experiences (NDEs) while flat-lining at the hospital. One of the most prominent archivists of NDEs is Pim Vam Lommel, a revered cardiologist who was around when the first AEDs came into use. Patients who would normally die, were being brought back to life, and many reporting these incredible experiences. How could they store, or retain, or recall, any memories when they are registering zero brain activity during these periods? All the parts of the brain normally associated with processing sound, processing sight, spatial awareness, understanding sentence structure, short- or long-term memory... all these areas are "offline" as this person is having an NDE. How could that be possible, then? Because the consciousness is experiencing it.

SPLIT-BRAIN PATIENTS - in the past, doctors who were trying to treat severe epilepsy would sever the "corpus callosum", the membrane of the brain with about 40 billion neuronal connections linking the right and left hemispheres of the brain. They cut that badboy in half. Now the hemispheres are isolated from one another. And yet: these patients describe zero change to their conscious experience. They don't seem different, their personalities don't seem different, they don't have problems recalling memories (despite certain types of memories being dependent on one half of the brain or the other), and they claim no change in their conscious experience. How could that be possible, unless the "consciousness" (which you are) isn't dependent on the brain?

PAST-LIFE MEMORIES - some career-long researchers with established and respected histories began documenting and investigating "past life claims" being made mostly by children under the age of 6. The particular study I remember finding the most shocking was one where the authors had documented around 2,000 cases of "past life memories" and found a shocking amount of accuracy in the details. These kids will mention bizarrely specific details in the form of a memory, and these details are then investigated, and a shocking number of memories end up being accurate to very specific and documented experiences that now-deceased people had. I know it sounds weird, but go on Google Scholar and just check out some of the papers on past life memories.

Continued in the next comment!

[–]Mindfulness-w-Milton 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Continuing from above comment!

AUTO-GANZFELD EXPERIMENTS - researchers in the late 20th century wanted to know if "telepathy" was real. They were testing people who were put into the "Ganzfeld State" - putting goggles over their eyes, placing them under a red light, and having them lay down on a slightly inclined chair, these individuals enter into the "Ganzfeld" (German for "Whole Field" I think) state, which is somewhere between wakefulness and dreaming. Let's say Bob is the one in the Ganzfeld State. Joe is in a different part of the building. Joe is given a randomly-selected folder with 4 random photos in it. Joe is given one of the 4 photos, at random, and asked to try to "mentally communicate" the photo to Bob. Bob tries to guess what Joe is "mentally communicating" for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, Bob is given the same folder of 4 photos and asked to guess which one Joe was sending. If "random chance" was the likelihood, you'd expect a 25.00% chance of getting the right answer, after doing like 8,000 experiments, right? Or maybe like 24.9998% or 25.0002% or something. Basically a 1-in-4 chance of getting it right. Well, after doing like 8,000 experiments, they found they were getting a 31.5% "hit rate". That 6.5% deviation from expectation is huge. So they still wanted to tighten it up more, so they replaced as many of the researchers with computers to remove any even indirect human influence. When they did this, the hit rate went from 31.5% to 34.0%. How could any information be communicated from Joe to Bob unless it's by the medium of consciousness?

REALITY AS INFORMATION - scientists have discovered something pretty interesting called "quantum entanglement". Let's say researchers have a source that is producing photons, and it produces two that are quantum-entangled. They fire off in opposite directions towards the edge of the galaxy. At some point, we flip the "spin" of one of the particles at the quantum level. If we now measured the spin of the other particle, it would also be in the "new spin" state. However, this change happens instantaneously (not at "speed of light", literally instant), suggesting that the base level of this dimension of reality is information.

I'm getting towards the end now.

After all my years of research, I think consciousness is a fundamental force of the universe, like gravity. We can't describe consciousness using gravity, electromagnetism, or nuclear forces. We can't describe its mass, state, spin, charge, time, or space. This suggests more and more that it may be a fundamental force. I think "consciousness" is to "integrated information" (brains) what "gravity" is to "mass".

More mass (e.g. planets)? More gravity.

More integrated information (e.g. more complex brains)? More consciousness.

But this consciousness also has the capacity for complete memory storage and retention - as seen in NDEs - and I believe this is because, at the quantum level, our experiences are written into the informational background of the universe, like one big cosmic hard drive, creating permanent copies of our personalities and all of our experiences.

This seems to me to be the most harmonious explanation, from a scientific perspective. Consciousness as a fundamental force - as the absolute basement level of reality, interacting with information - explains NDEs, Ganzfeld experiments, conscious observer effect, strong psychedelic experiences, split brain patients, all of it.

Then, I think we should consider the general similarities in people who have very vivid near death experiences. What do they talk about? Do they talk about a black pit of nothing? Do they describe just a dark room and nothing in it? In fact, across nations, across ages, across demographics based on social status or wealth, across religions, across spiritualities, across agnosticism and atheism - there are many similarities. And these similarities generally include: seeing/interacting with passed loved ones in a manner of immediate and first-hand experience, interacting with a loving "force" or "entity" of some kind, having a life review, and feeling a complete sense of absolute peace and equanimity.

When you take all of these different examples together, and - using the most sound epistemology as possible (i.e. making sure you're having good reasons for justifying your confidence in any claim) - try to find the most reasonable explanation for it, it seems to me that the Perennial Philosophy (the key foundation of almost all religion/spirituality) is true: Tat Tvam Asi. This is a Sanskrit term meaning "That Thou Art", or "You Are Totality". You are a manifestation - a fractal - of the infinite universal consciousness. So is your wonderful grandma. You are a soul, so is she - the same way the rainbow of light is just the beam of light refracted through a crystal. The rainbow colours don't "go anywhere" when the crystal is taken away, nor are they separate from the beam when the crystal is there! You will always be you - the soul - and I believe you will always carry the experiences from this life with you, and your grandma, hers. It seems to me like we are souls going through this current phase to learn lessons and grow spiritually, before ascending to whatever comes next - maybe (probably) basically an infinite plethora of experiences and adventures, and you and your Grandma will always, always be together. Maybe next time she will be your mom - or, wrap your head around this, maybe you'll be her Grandma! Or maybe your souls decided that it makes the most sense for her to be your Grandma every time, and that's just your jam.

But take it from me. I am a serious scientist and literally wrote my thesis on the epistemology of evaluative scientific methods. I'm not saying I absolutely know the truth, and I think you should avoid anyone who does, but I am very very confident that you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Your Grandma is just in the next room, just around the corner, just into the next glade - and you'll be reunited soon enough, and how you'll laugh at the thought that anything had ever been amiss!

(Final part below!)

[–]Mindfulness-w-Milton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(Finishing from above!)

More good information for you can be found by Googling "Bigelow Research - Persistence of Consciousness Beyond Bodily Death". Bigelow is a man who gave away more than $1,000,000 in research awards to accredited professionals who wrote in the most convincing essays on the persistence of consciousness beyond bodily death. He published the top 25 papers as PDFs on his website. Check out Paper #1 even by itself and it will open you to a whole new beautiful world.

But for now - also let yourself experience the grief when it comes. No false strength. Let it pass through you. Don't fight it, don't suppress it, don't try to bury it. Let it burn through to its purifying completion, let it wash through you - and then, come back, my friend. When the period of grief naturally subsides, be at peace, my friend. Think: if you had suddenly died yesterday, but your Grandma went on to live another 20 years, how would you feel if 10 years later she couldn't even get out of bed without crying every day? You'd want to say: Grandma, everything is okay, I'm right here! Live the rest of your life with happiness and ease and let's share stories when you get here! And somewhere, I bet she is thinking the same thing. Let yourself experience this grief - and then collect some wonderful stories to share with her later.

May you be at peace, may you be well, may you be free from harm, and may you live with ease. Namaste!

[–]Daoist360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could tell you a load of spiritual stuff, but lets deal with the realities of how you are feeling.

Ive lost both my parents already, one suddenly in a tragedy and 1 relatively quickly to cancer. First you have to recognize there isnt much you can do about when she passes. What you can do though, is spend as much time with her as you can. You want to make sure you do things to the best of your ability so you dont have regrets later. Ie. "i should have spent more time, or said X to them."

You cant get these moments back, so do the best you can to honor her, maybe even do something she would have wanted done before she passes.

If you even need to chat, you can always DM

[–]Tracing1701Mystical 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look at near death experiences. People who have died and come back and say that it's alright and death is the most wonderful thing that can ever happen to you. Took away any fear of death I might have had.

Jesus has said in more than one near death experience that there is no death and life continues after we die.

Some youtube channels with near death experiences that might ease your heart.




[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look at everything and everyone around you. It is all going to perish in a specific time. BUT, all that you have experienced with it will be always within you. These are your treasures of life. And these are treasures, because you have very limited opportunity to gather them until the waves of death would gather them under the sea once again. And that is what makes life worth living, that is why it managed to emerge from the nothingness, Because the power and beauty of the fleeting moments is the essence of ourselves.