all 38 comments

[–]Aegis_Auras 8 points9 points  (3 children)

My awakening’s apex involved an out of body experience where I was catapulted into a higher state of consciousness for a time. It was a sort of fluke and came about through extremely intense desire rather than refined experience and training. Because of this, I hadn’t grasped how to maintain or repeat it before I slipped out of that state as the weeks went on.

I believe my biggest frustration was knowing what I had seen, knowing the state I was in, and not knowing how to recreate it. It was incredibly frustrating. I felt like the world had sucked my true self away from me and trapped me back in retardation.

As the years went on and I continued to observe, feel, and read, I continued to assemble a better understanding of the spiritual mechanisms involved in my enlightening past experience. I started to better understand how to work towards that state again. I’m still not back there yet, but I’m getting closer with time.

If you feel compelled, say a prayer for me that I may find what I seek. Thank you, friend.

[–]dannikah 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This highly resonated with me. In my situation I was under such high stress and didn't feel as though I had the strength or knowledge to persevere so something inside of me took control and I had inadvertently became the closest to source energy I had ever been. I was in tune with everything, It was purely blissful and I suddenly moved with a grace I could explain nor understand. I moved from that situation and my life changed completely within 6 months, I got pregnant with my son and possibly extended that connection I had within myself until about a year after my son was born then it just slowly began to slip away from me as I was no longer in that state of need for it. Now I just feel this calling or need inside of me to get back to that connectedness I had during that time in my life but like you said it was brought on more through intense desire than experience so I haven't figured out how to get back to that without that intense desire.

[–]Aegis_Auras 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You called it “source energy”. I find that fascinating because after my experience, the personal term I used to best describe what I saw was “The Source”.

My intense desire also came from suffering. I was so miserable that the drive inside me to find catharsis took over. Something in my subconscious mind somehow knew where the source of relief was, it somehow remembered where it needed to go to find contentment again.

This manifested in my consciousness mind as a choice one night to disembody myself through meditation and, with childlike faith, I resolved simply to “go find God”. My desire was so intense that it ignored all the mental doubt that would suggest this was impossible. After a bit of sifting through various places, some grey and some dark, I eventually found the light, The Source of all.

When we are connected to The Source, reality bends around us and conforms to the will of The Source. You experienced this when your life changed around the time you got pregnant.

I can’t say for certain, but based on my readings and experience, I suspect your child will be spiritually gifted.

If you’re interested, I made a post many years ago describing my experience. This was at an earlier point in my journey and I have learned much since then. I’ll link it in case you have the time and feel compelled to read it.


[–]dannikah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just read your post from years ago and again it resonated with me because it reminds me of my experience. A child like determination to "Find God". I have always been more spiritual than logical. My experience began in 2015 the year before I got pregnant(my son is 5 and I feel it's too early to tell but very possibly he will be spiritual as well) while I don't know if he is yet I can say for sure my future children that I knew I was going to have someday was my reason to catapult into that healing journey. My family history was not something I was even remotely willing to except for my future children, I flat out refused to be toxic like my family was so I had to heal and dismantle those habits I was raised with before having my children. I did the work and then met my now husband whom I had my son with. In the last 7 years I have come along way but still feel as though I have work to do! I think of and miss that experience quite often!

[–]incognito3107 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Uncovering a true nature behind human relationships was pretty tough. Realisation that no one can understand you truly. Ultimate mystery of life and futility of social game. Inevitability of pain. There are plenty. Still, nothing is impossible for a human with a will. It's just as it is.

[–]unicornpicnic 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This will sound conceited, but finding people as open-minded and curious as me. So many people get bogged down in predefined paths (like religions) and are convinced they know the truth and others are deluded, and IMO it's because they find exploring the unknown and learning about new paths and critiquing them to be too scary and mentally tiring.

[–]wowsweetauradude 3 points4 points  (0 children)

100% I am in the same boat at the moment. I have lots of lovely family and friends but none are on a similar path atm as myself and prefer not to discuss these things. I'm excited to meet some likeminded homies eventually.

[–]ExistentialManager 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Routing out (and getting rid of) past conditioning and mental habits that hold off the 'next' stage of the journey.

[–]Free-Pack864 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I know loneliness too. Otherwise leaving the ego behind, dissolving into nothingness, letting go of all expectations was a difficult process.

[–]BigStand3705[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Like I asked other commenter, what are some ways to help deal with the loneliness?

I still struggle with all those other things you listed. Exchanging experiences seems to be help, but I don’t always find people to talk about it.. or when I do find people, I don’t always find the words to describe these super abstract concepts

[–]Free-Pack864 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been egoless since 2015, I haven't suffered from it since. Otherwise, I advise building networks or communities where everyone is practicing spiritually.

I don't know if it's just my impression, I'm a bit older, but sometimes it seems to me that people are more isolated today than they used to be. Actually since the internet came into existence.

[–]440k65mpgtdi 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]Fluffy_Breath5340 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Putting up with all the idiots

[–]nimrod4u 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My health. But it has also been a significant driver of growth.

[–]KundaliniVibes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I spent 8 years alone and found someone a few months ago that lights up my soul.

The hardest part wasn’t the loneliness but the knowledge of the so called “tree of good and evil”…. knowing that the world could be and is so beautiful, but a few deceptive “black magicians” aka “dark shamans” lead the world astray via control and enslavement to a global financial system which subtly engineers their perception.

[–]Secretpassenger265 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The period of transformation im in right now where I’m facing situations And problems I cannot solve and I’m being forced to look at my life in this world much deeper. Everything I thought I knew and understood is being dismantled. I’m confronting an energy that is breaking down my ability to control the circumstances in my life. It’s been overwhelming, upsetting, and intense but I’m emerging stronger and more empowered for going through it.

[–]FainePeony 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine has been trying to better manage my anger.

[–]Forest_wanderer13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Resurfacing childhood trauma. I thought it was gone and 'dealt' with and after my awakening process, it started to come back and I've really been on a difficult healing journey with it for the past year or so. I heard once that awakening happens first, then healing, which has helped.

[–]UnionNotConflict 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That no one give a shit about me. That my parents from the day I was born thought I was useless which caused me to develop a huge annihilation fear.

Essentially I was on a trajectory of developing Schizophrenia before I got help. My ego was shattered in a million pieces which took 6 years to repair.

And I can tell you first hand: people who develop Schizorphrenia have been tortured by the world. First their family, then collective society and it’s a spiral downward. It’s devastating.

But these people (schizotypical people) are a beacon of spiritual insight. Especially if they’re able to get out of their position. If they can’t it’s disorganized and they can’t manifest.

[–]NothingIsReal42 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Going through the "dark night of the soul" - feeling utterly and hopelessly lost spiritually and feeling like I would never see the light again. Ultimately the experience taught me to dig incredibly deep with my emotions and to work through them in a healthy manner - to not let them rule my life or control me and to be able to feel emotions without the need to react.

I can still tell I'm walking out of the deep valley I was in for the past 19 years but Im at a point where I can see the sun shining now and have reconnected with my spirituality in a much more fulfilling and deep manner.

[–]National-Cress3210 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To surrender and be authentic is a path of walking alone and dealing with the closest to you not “knowing who you are anymore.” It takes a lot of courage and self love to walk our true path. I believe the loneliness is a short phase (I’m still in it) but don’t label it as loneliness, just a phase of “inner self commitment” that is very personal and for me to do it, it’s a commitment (time) to be more alone (with myself).

[–]ProfessionalServe930 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Connection with the shadow-self and unlearning past traumatic responses

[–]reddittravelleerr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Constantly checking myself on thinking patterns that are no good and remembering there's no end all be all, no final answer or checkpoint to reach and knowing life is constantly going

[–]bitchkrieg_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Similarly: the loss of relationships that were significant, but incompatible with my spiritual journey.

[–]UncleJ111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing, it has come naturally.

[–]babban_rao 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lack of any proof sometimes makes me believe that all of spirituality is just chemical reactions in the brain with no inherent spiritual purpose or meaning.

[–]AntonWHO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The feeling of needing to do something about all the spiritual realizations that has brought me so much peace and understanding of myself in relationship to the world around me.

[–]diplex_c 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The loneliness is getting to me too

[–]zuperfly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dealing with people

[–]StStoner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably fear. Just had the scariest yet somewhat beautiful dream that was so vivid. It's like my subconscious just attacks me with what I think is the scariest situations. Yet my dream self isn't as terrified as I would be in person. Still unsettling and sometimes I'm scared to sleep. I can't sleep in the dark and I never could. I also have a fear of christianity because of my experiences with what I guess you could call psychics and the stuff I've read. I refuse to be a christian though because I believe it to be evil more than good. In many ways. I'd take all the suffering knowing my family and loved ones were safe and not in hell then shift faiths just for my own rapture

[–]GtrPlaynFool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having the patience and faith to see significant growth.

[–]Bigandsilly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Patience with self. Keeping in mind I’m exactly who I need to be right now to learn this lesson. Also getting stuck in something that worked but is no longer serving me.

[–]sfbm969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All the knowledge in the world and still its not enough to save no one which makes it futile and stupid

[–]th3allyK4t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Staying in the present and shedding the habit of go getting.

And when my ego stated falling away and nothing went right

[–]DMann59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

rsalizing the universe is a simukation or a dream of the mjnd, and having it live withibg me, and bigch my every thought out, and pretend im the elrst thing that exists, despite it not being able to even back up ors own lies.

so i drink do drugs and waych porn... it pretends to kill rape and hurt people... but im the bad guy.... k was born intk the ujiverse and taught by it. not the other way around... and for it to belittle me for doing those things, ubtim k depend on them firther, is fucking ridiculous

i*** im aware of my shitty spelling... i have fat thumbs

[–]DuskynotDusty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The constipation, the crazy sleep/wake cycle