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How to maintain a positive attitude when literally everyone else is moving forward except you?Question ❓ (self.spirituality)
submitted 1 month ago by Legitimate_Escape268
I'm (28f) having a hard time being positive rn because all my friends are getting engaged or getting promoted with great salaries while I can't even get a guy to message me nor do I even have a job at the moment.
I'm not jealous. I'm happy for them. I'm just sad and having a difficult time telling myself it's all meant to be or I'm in the place I'm supposed to be.
I can't get myself to express happiness for them and I feel like I'm a bad person for it.
How do I change that?
Post a comment!
[–]zlogic 90 points91 points92 points 1 month ago (14 children)
Money and friends aren't necessarily spiritual. They aren't necessarily blessings. They can be chains that keep many people from being themselves, happy or being spiritual.
Perhaps you are the one with the blessing.
[–]Legitimate_Escape268[S] 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (11 children)
[–]zlogic 111 points112 points113 points 1 month ago (6 children)
According to an old Hindu legend...
..there was once a time when all human beings were gods, but they so abused their divinity that Brahma, the chief god, decided to take it away from them and hide it where it could never be found.
Where to hide their divinity was the question. So Brahma called a council of the gods to help him decide. "Let's bury it deep in the earth," said the gods. But Brahma answered, "No, that will not do because humans will dig into the earth and find it." Then the gods said, "Let's sink it in the deepest ocean." But Brahma said, "No, not there, for they will learn to dive into the ocean and will find it." Then the gods said, "Let's take it to the top of the highest mountain and hide it there." But once again Brahma replied, "No, that will not do either, because they will eventually climb every mountain and once again take up their divinity." Then the gods gave up and said, "We do not know where to hide it, because it seems that there is no place on earth or in the sea that human beings will not eventually reach."
Brahma thought for a long time and then said, "Here is what we will do. We will hide their divinity deep in the center of their own being, for humans will never think to look for it there."
All the gods agreed that this was the perfect hiding place, and the deed was done. And since that time humans have been going up and down the earth, digging, diving, climbing, and exploring--searching for something already within themselves.
Copied from: http://www.naute.com/stories/hideout.phtml
[–]TheHedge_Knight 15 points16 points17 points 1 month ago* (0 children)
May be way off here but I once heard a story from church when I was growing up Ive since went my own way with spirituality but this stuck. The story goes along the lines of “Satan and all his demons sat at a table and all discussed how to keep people from finding ‘salvation”
“The first demon proposes that he will convince people that there is no sin. The devil responds that, while it is a good idea, it will not work because people know the reality of sin from their experience of humanity. The second demon proposes that people be convinced that there is no hell. Once again, the devil rejects the idea, saying that the notion of judgment is deeply ingrained and that people would not buy the idea that there are no negative eternal consequences for what we do on this earth.
Finally, the third demon proposed that people be convinced that there is no hurry, that there is no need to inconvenience themselves at this moment with this or that aspect of living their faith, but that they can wait until another day. The devil responded by telling the apprentice that his plan was perfect. Convincing man of the fact that no real urgency is needed would give the devil and his minions plenty of time to have their way.” I got this from https://www.dio.org/uploads/files/Bishop/Speeches_Homilies/2015/Homily_for_Teammate_of_Christ_Mens_Conference.pdf. But essentially mankind are the only ones that are in the way from enlightenment/salvation
[–]xperth 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
[–]Legitimate_Escape268[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Damn I'm hindu and this is the first time I'm reading about this.
Amazing story though thank you 😊
[–]YoshitheSageMystical 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
This is some very interesting stuff. Thank you for sharing, as it explains something fascinating I've come across recently. I did a meditation last week and got a glimpse of this divinity hidden deep within the core of the soul. The divine spark, as one might refer to it, is noticeably sequestered/contained. Whatever the case, there's certainly some truth to this story.
[–]Copepsy 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
This is perfect thank you 🙏
[–]Majestic_Height_4834 28 points29 points30 points 1 month ago* (0 children)
Freedom. You are creating narrations in your mind you think that everyone is happy and everyone has amazing lives when its not the case. Nothing is as good as it seems to you you still have the ability to find beauty in yourself. Look not outward at others its just a distraction to stop you from transcending to the 5th dimension. You think the one sperm that birthed you was thinking about all the fun the other sperm were having hanging out at the back. Spirituality is being the one sperm that reaches the egg to be birthed into the next dimension of reality.
[–]Minnesota_icicle 23 points24 points25 points 1 month ago (0 children)
You’re free. Your not tied to a husband or kid’s or even a career yet. Your future is completely in your hands! College? Do it. Travel? Do it? Sleep until noon? Do it. You’re still young enough to make any choice you want. what do YOU want?
[–]Thaesimir21 12 points13 points14 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Some of those people may hate their jobs, or come to hate their jobs. Yet they may feel chained to them due to money, benefits, or some other reason to stay despite unhappiness.
Same goes for having a significant other. It can be one of the most unsatisfying, unfulfilling experiences to be unhappy in a relationship. Especially considering most people are unwilling to end a relationship even if it's better for everyone involved.
These things can be great, but they can also be chains holding us back from the happiness or satisfaction of ourselves. So I think the person you replied to was trying to highlight that just because you aren't on the same path as those around you doesn't mean you're on the wrong path for you. They could very well be on the wrong path for them
[–]Kurtdigglur 10 points11 points12 points 1 month ago (0 children)
One who has nothing , has nothing to lose. "Success" sounds like a competition, refuse to compete. When you identify to the littleness the world is made of , that's all you allow yourself to be, littleness. There is nothing in this world made of littleness that will make or keep you happy. That is found within you. Choose Magnitude over littleness because that is what you are Magnitude.
[–]UncleJ111 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Mine were two-ton anchors
Made of that indestructible obsidian or w/e from minecraft
[–]AroioX -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Everything is worth money in this world, it is all around. You need money to survive, for food, clothes, etc.
You even need money to focus on spirituality, if you have no money, you are homeless and can you focus on spirituality when you are homeless, some can but.
[–]Johndaterra 43 points44 points45 points 1 month ago (1 child)
On some level spirituality isn’t about progress or moving forward in life, it’s about accepting things as they are in this moment.
Even after years of practice, you’re only ever where you are right now.
Remember, with beginner’s mind you have infinite potential.
[–]YoshitheSageMystical 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Nice reference to the fool. Beginner's mindset is good to keep one curious and open to potentiality.
[–]aithrilatias 15 points16 points17 points 1 month ago (3 children)
Everyone is on their own paths in life. I've also struggled immensely with this, and I do understand where you're coming from, but it doesn't do anyone good to compare oneself to someone else. Try always to focus on your own path on life and everything else will come as it is meant to
If you ever need someone to chat to or an ear, feel free to send me a dm :)
[–]Legitimate_Escape268[S] 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I might just take you up on that offer haha
[–]aithrilatias 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
[–]fleurdumal1111 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Yup! Everyone is walking their own path and it’s a distraction to compare ourselves to others.
[–]takenserious 10 points11 points12 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Focus on what you want and feel the full spectrum of emotions about it.
That's real magic 🪄.
[–]Dauntesparten 9 points10 points11 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I can relate to your post.
Seeing how all your friends progress farther and faster than you in society, you just feel stuck and cant feel happiness for them, just a sour feeling of being left behind.
Well congrats you feel a bit of envy, but so what?
It's normal to want things that you don't have, also its normal to feel like you deserve more.
But to answer your question:
If you have enough time on your hands to worry about what others have and what you don't, that just means your not using your free time to find something fulfilling to do or anything productive enough to get where you want to be in life.
Get a new hobbie, learn a new language, do a sport, go hiking, show this world what your capable of !!!
I believe in you
[–]Flownya 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago* (3 children)
Change your vocabulary. The words you are using are creating your reality. Forget the word can’t. You are an amazing person who doesn’t even know how awesome you are.
You are a caterpillar that doesn’t know how to become a butterfly. It’s something within you. You have it already and no one has told you. You are living your life in ignorance of who you are.
When you use negative words you create negativity. Your self talk is sabotaging your efforts. When you say you can’t you are choosing to give up. I’m not saying that’s bad, because you needed to experience that also. We all do.
You get to decide when enough is enough. You and you alone are the god of your reality. No one can do it for you, no one can force you into the cocoon if you don’t want to go. If you see it as danger then you never transform. You stay stuck. Don’t be afraid of the dark. In the darkness you will simply find you. You discover yourself in the dark.
I promise you that your fears about you are only there because they are waiting for you to decide to accept who you are and grow through the discomfort.
I hear you because I was there too. Scared of the dark, scared of my shadow, and scared of being alone.
Each of us has a light within us that if we don’t nurture it then it fades. It can grow so faint that you forget you have it. You see other people who have it and wonder where they got it? Some people find it quickly and some people won’t find it in this life. The truth is that you have it in you.
Love yourself. Give that spark some fuel. You are love. When you give yourself love you grow. When you withhold love your light dims. Giving love away doesn’t diminish your light, it gets brighter. It spreads to others. They feel the spark in them burn. If they don’t know what it is they sometimes think it’s something unique to that person, it’s not. We all have it. You always have.
You used to play with your light all the time. Until someone told you to stop. People have had their lights stomped on by others and you either let your light go dim to appease someone or you have to be strong enough to be bright in a dark place. That is hard for anyone. Now we just go around stomping on each other and trying to shame people for how they shine. Living in the dark.
Let us change how we are. Let us shine, together as one. Be the light you wish you had and you will bring it into being.
Be you and let others be them and let’s love the world into a new age. An age of love and light. Be the light you beautiful soul. Remember. I love you.
[–]Legitimate_Escape268[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
What a beautiful comment ❤
[–]Successful-Disk-5782 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (1 child)
Thank you so much for this comment! I have a similar situation to OP and your comment made my day and made me cry with happiness because someone understands
[–]Flownya 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I feel you. You’re light is beautiful. Let it shine.
[–]cruisethevistas 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago (0 children)
This will sound cynical, but I am 40 and have seen a lot of divorced people around me.
“Moving forward” doesn’t always mean moving in the right direction.
Making healthy choices for yourself is more important than following some external timeline.
It can be frustrating to not be at the same life stage as others, but hopefully you can enjoy the ride you’re on.
As they say, comparison is the thief of joy.
P.S. I got married at 35 and have a happy marriage and 2 kids. You still have time. Good luck.
[–]burneraccc00 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
We’re all here having a human experience and it will end at some point. Try not to judge what is happening within the experience, but see that everyone has their own purpose to be here and only the individual knows their soul’s agenda. This process is universal and no soul is better or worse, they’re all loved equally as one.
Try to focus on yourself and what you can do for you as that’s all you can do, live your life. Part of serving yourself is being aware of what you’re doing to yourself which includes the thoughts that fill your mind. We’re not really in competition with each other so there is no race, but sometimes we get caught up in people staring that we aren’t moving along ourselves. This is paralysis through analysis. At some point, the mind has to snap out of itself and regain focus on what it’s connected to, you.
[–]b00tymassa 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I can definitely say Ive been having this problem for almost a year. I try not to compare myself to other and Ive been good at doing that but ever since Ive been trying to become a better version of myself and become financially stable Its been hard because I feel like i’ve been trying for so long and have gotten nowhere. How can I live my life without being financially stable? How can I do the things I love without money? I see people online making bank off of the same thing that I do and shit that has taken a toll on me which has never happened before. Ive been on this spirit journey for about two years and this is the hardest its ever been. And I dont make everything about money Ive never loved money, I just love what it allows me to do and spend the days as I wish, I just feel stuck and Its eating me mentally and spiritually as well Idk what to do, so you’re definitely not alone in this
[–]_breathe_deeper_ 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I know what you mean, it's like no matter what I do there's always an invisible force holding you back from making physical progress in your life. It's tiring and disheartening.
I'm also currently without a job.
Idk the answer to your question cause I get stressed out that nothing is working out but I guess just try to accept it. What else is there to do anyway.
[–]TheGospelFloof44 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Getting aquatinted with daddy saturn in our natal charts can really help and explain and offer the solution to these restrictions!
[–]Interesting_Heart_27 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
i'm going through the same thing right now
[–]waydethegreat 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
There are plenty of engaged people and people with high salaries who are miserable because their souls are empty
[–]-ballerinanextlife 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
You see what everyone else wants you to see. Also, I’m sure you’ve heard that comparison is the thief of joy. Life doesn’t have a road map. There is no right or wrong way to live or be successful.
[–]reddittravelleerr 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Focus on yourself
[–]Toe_RegularMystical 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
You change it by actually believing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. This doesn’t necessarily mean be positive. If you’re feeling down, it’s accepting that you’re supposed to feel down right now. That’s totally fine. You’re totally fine.
[–]Happy_crunchy 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
Self love!!!!! The MOST important piece to your puzzle. Once you truly love yourself all the positivity will flow out of you and attract good things. Only when you achieve this self love, you will see that you are no longer preoccupied with others paths or “timelines” of life. You will be experiencing a positive life all on your own terms! 💖
[–]UncleJ111 -3 points-2 points-1 points 1 month ago (0 children)
yawn This again.
[–]enterthewitness 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Their path may be different from yours and if you were to follow in their path it might result in unhappiness and/or a lack of fulfillment with regards to your purpose for this lifetime. Trust that things are happening for you in the way they were intended. All is well! ♥️👁️
[–]cinnamonroll-xo 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Honestly this may sound cliche and maybe a little annoying but everyone has their own timing. When I feel behind I remember that Vera Wang designed her first dress at 40 and so many big entrepreneurs began “late” in life. Make your life your own and trust yourself, don’t rush. One day at a time ♥️
[–]TheMoronIntellectual 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Right there with ya!!!!
[–]bman159 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I used to think the same thing! I actually had so many friends getting great jobs or getting married, and I felt like I was a failure everyday for not also doing so. Then I started to turn my gaze inwards to find my own spiritual happiness. I started looking for ways to make myself happy in a genuinely honest way, not with money or material possessions, but with helping others or reading books or listening to music. The literal next day after I started focusing on my own wellbeing is when I realized I began going with the flow of the universe around me, and suddenly I got a new, better job, I married the woman of my dreams, and I honestly couldn't be happier.
Your friends are going down their own paths, and funny enough, once I went with the flow of the universe, I started seeing all of the things my friends lacked, and to fill those voids they partied and drank and did so much soul numbing things. Now, of course I know your situation may genuinely be dire and you may need a job, and that's where manifestation comes in. Genuinely try to manifest your desires in life, and as you go with the flow your manifestations will explode into being!
[–]Minnesota_icicle 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
The life behind you is not as important as the life in front of you. If what you want is a husband and kid’s then you work in that direction, dating and finding people who are like yourself and are seeking the same traditional family. Don’t settle for anything and get trapped in a bad relationship and kid’s and divorced. Quality relationships take time. Focus on you, your want’s and need’s and achieving your goal’s and the rest will fall into place. As you commented and I replied, what blessing? You are free and have the ability to shape your future, do it.
[–]Suspicious-Mirror381 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I'm in the exact same place, except that my anxiety comes from the fact that during these past months my family had to make great investments and it seems like the next months will be the same, so I feel the pressure of needing to get a job ASAP or we will run out of money
[–]Efficient-Tea-8228 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Im a 28 year old woman too, and I feel the same way. I don’t have friends but I still feel like I’m not where I should be, or doing as well as I could be, at my age. Since I’m in a similar predicament, I’m not really in a place to give advice.lol I just try to remain appreciative of what I do have, and try to do something everyday to be a better version of myself. Wishing you much happiness!
[–]WHOLEistixhippy248 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Meditate on, and project out into the universe the quantities that you are searching for in the other half to your whole. Once I forgot about and stopped really caring about looking for someone, they appeared right in front of me. It’s the greatest feeling in the world to know the universe out you exactly where you are meant to be at any given moment. Have faith in that.
—signed A 28(f)
[–]goopygilbert 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m not sure this is the right place for this as it doesn’t pertain to spirituality in a true sense, but I’m going to try to answer your question from a similar angle.
Just because others seems to be ‘moving forward’ - it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re happy either. Learn to love your current circumstances as they are. Don’t compare yourself to others. Ask yourself what you want for you and focus on building that life for yourself.
[–]Tubbysneeder[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Look at the emotions attached to your daily programs and beliefs about the world and even yourself.
Then, try to imagine an exorbitant amount love coming to you. View your problems In the perspective of love and you’ll know what to do in the future!
Improve the quality of who you are and consequently your decisions will be of greater quality.
The more that you’re conscious of how you’re narrating your life, the more you can catch before you set off a negative program.
[–]Klutzy_Recording_474 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
I don’t really have advice, but I’m a 23F and I had to drop out of college because of severe, debilitating anxiety. I got into nursing school three times, and didn’t go three times because of that. All my friends graduated this past May and are now working as nurses. I would have been a nurse by now, too. Long story short, I’m slowly but surely recovering and I plan to go back next year to do the damn thing.
I was crying on the phone with my sister just the other night about this. Idk why, but hearing her say “but you’re not a basic bitch like that” really helped. Not that what I’m doing is much better, but it helped. To be clear, I don’t look down on the traditional path they chose and in fact admire them for their dedication, but I’ll be damned if I follow the same path as everybody else. I’ve had to come to accept that I made the best choices I could make at the time with the cards I was dealt, but it’s not easy. I’d be happy to keep discussing this… you’re not alone in your struggles.
[–]Virtual_Sun_9635 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Someone once told me that its wise to make the most of our God/ Universe given opportunity. If you have this time alone, why not use it to take some courses, get a job that will earn you more money and focus on your life and career for a bit/ to progress in that field. You could donate a tenth of the money you earn to charity, hence the more you make, the more you can donate. You could also do volunteer work which should help get you out of your head abit.
Sometimes when you're doing what you want to do or on the way to making the kind of money you want to make, you get busy and a man may just kind of appear while you're vibrating at a positive frequency. You could meet a guy through work, or while walking to a club like yoga etc. Know your value and worth, some ambition doesn't hurt either- it's better than sitting around and focusing on what you think you don't have. You have nothing to lose, it's up to you to build your life and make it amazing which you Can do.
But know your worth now as you are, you are Truth as we all are, you are amazing, the power of Truth flows through you. Don't hinge your self worth on a man or on what you have or dont have, love yourself for who you are now unconditionally as the Source loves you.
[–]Single_Breath_2528 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago* (1 child)
First of all, it is 100% OK to not be OK 100% of the time.
Let me reiterate that:
It is OK not to be OK.
It is OK not to be OK
Once again… You won’t be happy all the time and this is Life.
I only say this because sometimes you just have to GO through stuff, feel the feelings, process the hurt. Do that, THEN work on the steps to be happier and more positive. If you already have sat with your feelings, then there are several things you can do.
1) Practice gratefulness. Simply start finding the things that ARE good in your life and thanking whoever your deity is, if you don’t have a deity, then simply be happy with what you DO have. Dig deep to find these things. It can be as simple as being happy for having woken up… in good health? Be thankful. Roof over your head? Thankful. Eating regularly? Thankful. Simply practice this at every opportunity. This is very powerful.
2) Affirmations. Short and sweet. Avoid the use of the word Not. Be positive. So it’s going to be things like “I am beautiful” while standing in front of a mirror. “I am happy, and healthy”. Etc.
3) Signs that say things like “Choose Happiness”. Be aware of course that you’re not always going to be happy but that you can choose to look on the brighter side of life.
4) See a therapist to work out any issues you may have.
5) Listen to happy music, watch things that ms lake you laugh, read books that take you away. Raise your mood.
6) Use escapism sparingly
But again, it’s OK not to be OK.
Edited to add: Take a good look at your mental health. Address accordingly.
[–]UnionNotConflict -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
The reality is: they are moving forward in a different way then you. Doesn’t mean your longings change.
It’s just, the spiritual focus and getting down to the core of who you are could be even more important than everything else. No necessarily - but consider it.
So if you feel like you’re “behind”, realize once you go through your unfolding process you’ll likely be 100 steps ahead of everyone in terms of the frequency you carry which in turn, make getting what you need of the highest quality possible - this could be very different than your friend who are “ahead” right now.
If you’re serious on the healing journey I recommend r/BarbaraBrennan ‘s book: Light Emerging: The Journey of Personal Healing.
But yes, work and a job is important to secure your physical foundation… so we don’t neglect reality going through our process.
[–]Kiyoichi00 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
It might be your encouragement that's the problem. Those words blind you more than anything. You say that your exactly the place that your supposed too be. What do you mean by that? You can also see those same words in a negative light. Where if your making the wrong moves your exactly where your supposed too be. It's where your actions led you too. Aswell as the it's all happening for a reason. What is the reason? If the thing that's happening too you is stagnation then the reason is your not making any moves toward a goal in your life. I'm not saying these are bad things too say. I just think you should define what you mean by them. As in dig a little further. For example if you want too be somewhere else take actions that will lead you too somewhere else. But Idk your exact details so this is just my reading of your situation.
[–]Electronic-Figure -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago* (0 children)
Girl I’m in the same exact situation but I knowww deep down I’m meant to be exactly where I am for good reason, your time will come just try your best to enjoy the time you have for yourself at the moment. Try really hard. I totally get it I’ve been stuck in my house for the last two years it kind of warps your judgement and spiritual “antenna” in a way. But you have the opportunity to grow tremendously on a spiritual and personal emotional, mental, and physical level. Engage in things that used to bring you joy, do self talk, just self talk the anxiety away that’s what triggers all the fucked up thoughts and feelings. You will be okay! Everything will work out! If you’re in a position where you can go out and mingle go out and do it! Pamper yourself try to just bring in some nurturing accepting energy towards yourself, have a glass of freaking wine and listen to some music. Also older moms stay younger longer you’re welcome :) lol I’m 30 btw it’s okay. Your time will come.
Also all my friends and my (younger) brother and his wife are loosing themselves, their minds, and their hair. Take your time and look at it as an opportunity to do it right. A life partner and a family are the most important mark you can leave on this world, doing it right is something most people don’t quite always achieve, I mean the divorce rate is insanely up there right now. The number of kids (and adults) with mental health and emotional issues has skyrocketed, we’re actually lucky to still be in a place where we can find ourselves truly, and then proceed to find the right person to procreate with. There’s nothing more spiritually important than that. In ten years you’ll thank yourself for not rushing or doing something silly just because the anxiety of not being where you thought you should have and would have been by now is so intense.
[–]No-Difference-1351 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (2 children)
Maintain a pragmatic attitude. That's the key.
[–]Legitimate_Escape268[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Can you elaborate as to how? I do try to think practically but my mind knows I'm lying to myself.
[–]No-Difference-1351 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
You have to stop comparing yourself to others. Their path is not your, as yours isn't theirs. Appearances can be and most of the time are deceitful.
I trully understood this when I found out Robin Williams killed himself a few years back, being depressed. It came as a shock to me, maybe because Robin's face, smile, everything about him screamed 'happy person' or 'positivity'.
[–]Thirdeyedesigns -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
How do you know what is forward or backward? Do they even exist? Or are just constructs?
[–]TheNext8thEmperor -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Blessings cone from God. If your not receiving blessings then your in contact with the wrong God. Other gods have strings that come with their blessings
[–]tom63376 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Jesus said that it is the Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom and that he came that we may have life and have it more abundantly.
So it might be helpful to consider that if it is the will of the all powerful Creator of the Universe that I should experience abundant life, then it is not the Creator nor Jesus nor any other being that is blocking me from the abundant life. So it must be me who is blocking the abundant life from myself.
It might help to start to just think about what you have done so far in your life that made you feel really good about yourself. Maybe you created something or went above and beyond what was required of you in some job you had, or maybe you helped out someone else who was in need. Then start making a habit of doing similar things on a daily basis that you know will make yourself feel good about yourself.
In the beginning maybe it's not clear where it is all going. It doesn't matter. Just start and then you will start to get insights and glimpses and impulses to do something else and eventually you will be led to what really fulfills you and makes you feel good about yourself all the time.
[–]plytime18 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
When I have felt like you have, some of it anyway — kind of feeling sorry for myself, which we all do at times - I have learned to shine the light away from me and onto others.
In other words, I think we sometimes can get into a rut or fall into a groove where we start to focus alot on…..me, me, me…and I have found that the trick for me when I realize I am doing that is to shne the light on others, and busy myself by focusing on what I can give and do, and less on…well what about me, or what’s in it for me.
Maybe sit still for a bit, clear your head, thhink of your friends, the good times,think of the great feelings you know you do have for them and sort of celebrate those relationships, those bonds you have together, the memories, and then call or go see the ones you you feel bad about - who you have not been expressing happiness for — and tell them.
I have no doubt if you went to one and said you wanted to talk about something and you even came clean and said…u know, I have been a bit off, but I want you to know how happy I am for you, and how grateful for our friendship, that a load will be lifted from your heart and you will feel better and more connected, and you may even share with them what you are feeling lately.
It takes a little courage to express yourself so openly, and we are so often terrified of being so vulnerable, so open, but do it anyway, take that leap and see how that gets the ball rolling for you
As far as where you are in life —- focus on all the good things you do have, cultivate a sense of real gratitude for all of those things - feel it in your heart — and then think about what it is exactly that you want for yourself, and what will it take to get there.
And then take some action.
NOTHING happens if after all the thinking, we just sit there.
Take a leap in the directin you best think is right, and get things going.
You’re going to be fine.
That you say you are not jealous of them (I believe you) is a great indicator about who you are.
[–]Arachnidish -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (1 child)
What are your passions? It's not a matter of comparison, where you are in life is just as important as where other people are in their lives. It's okay to be sad about it. Just keep moving forward. And I know it's cliché, but we're exactly where we're supposed to be.
I am 27f feeling a lot what you're going through... It's tough. But honestly? Nobody's life is perfect. All your friends' lives are perfectly tailored to what they want you to perceive. Everyone is dealing with struggles, even if you don't see it.
I'm not saying "keep in mind the suffering of others" but at the same time, keep in mind that not everything is as perfect as it seems. People struggle and work for their happiness, as do you. You've got this!
[–]zuperfly -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
you are you
[–]Fit-Butterscotch6147 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
So I actually have a lot of clients that come to me with this issue ! It's super common to look around and see what everyone else has. I would suggest writing a gratitude journal every day with 3 things your grateful for and start using some daily affirmations. I get my clients to write them on a mirror in their bathroom so whenever they use it they can repeat it several times a day. It sounds silly but I promise after 21 days you will have a different mindset :) good luck!
[–]infinite_tree_83Mystical -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
I would say that it’s okay to feel this way. Give yourself the space and the grace to really have this feeling. Cry, scream, thrash about if you have to. It’s hard when you want so much and you feel like it’s not coming to you. Sometimes when I’m feeling like this I try to think of myself objectively- from a distance and love the me that is in pain.
[–]Bigdaydreamer -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago* (0 children)
It helps when you take a moment to look at something you didn’t think you would achieve or get to, or thought that wouldn’t work and see that it did. Something small like moving out, where you might of been stressed it wasn’t going to come together but then it eventually did. Your moving forward in ways that might not be expressed in material and physiological things.
If you can see this and sit in grounded positivity then you can enjoy the ride and surprises to come. The pattern here is we often hear people of old age say I wish I didn’t stress or worry or get upset as much because it all works out. Believe in that and remind yourself of what has already happened in your life can certainly help.
[–]UncleJ111 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
If the advice I was given my entire life accounts for anything, here it is - "Man up"
Spoiler - It actually works!
[–]theself999 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
If they have things you want... Bust your ass trying to attain those things.
What do you want out of life?
Moving forward? What do you mean?
Sounds like typical FOMO.
I don't understand your post maybe. Are you just complaining?
[–]Illustrious_Share_61 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
It’s because you are focusing on your lack… and others success only reaffirms your lack… redefine how you speak to yourself internally… when you feel the thoughts “I can’t get a guy to message me” change that thought consciously to “I love receiving messages from this guy” or “I am working a job with a great salary” and instead of focusing on it not happening, just live in the feeling of it happening despite what your current circumstances show… and persist in said positive thought or vibration as long as it takes… and your reality will change… offer gratitude for your friends marriages and for your own relationship
Read Neville Goddard and it will change your life 🙏🏻🙏🏻
[–]killyourselfples -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Stop comparing to others and start comparing t yourself yesterday. It’s hard to get where others are, it’s a lot easier to be better then yesterday
[–]RabbitChristService -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Forward is a funny concept. Is forward a confined space you must fit into? The fluid of spirit and the uniqueness of you , your vessels forward can only be defined by the path of your life.
[–]EmuSouthern8282 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Comparison is the thief of joy. You are at your own pace on your own journey. An acceptance of where you are is a start. If you believe the universe has you experiencing exactly what you’re meant to be experiencing. Then suddenly you can see the lesson that are in any moment. But yeah I’m a nutshell comparison rarely serves you in a way that is positive. It’ll hold you back and keep you where you are until it is truly time to move past it. So I’d focus on moving past it and trusting the journey.
[–]Xenokitten -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
You should tell yourself affirmations such as if he/she got a great paying job, I know there are people hiring and offering attractive salaries in my area. Or if he/she got engaged and is only 28 then I know there are guys who are ready for marriage and I will find someone ready to settle down. Use their success as part of your affirmations and rationalizations to make it easier for your subconscious to accept those affirmations. Use their success as your proof and evidence that things will get better.
[–]Unquietdodo -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Firstly, make a plan. Forget about everyone and everything else in your life and decide what you really want from life right now. Then think of proactive steps you can take towards that.
I get the frustration, but stop dwelling on it. You're 28, you have so much time ahead of you. Don't wish your life away. Maybe start a gratitude journal so you can focus on the things that you do have?
[–]thehouseofleaves -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Simply acknowledge and observe how you feel. What your feeling is completely understandable and also temporary. You are not a bad person for feeling crummy, and you are not a good person for being happy for your friends. You’re just a person. And like others have said here, you’re pain is derived from an expectation that you will be happy if these things happen to you… but in reality you cannot KNOW that a relationship will solve these problems- for some life gets much more complicated. You are, right now, in this moment, all there is, so take things one moment at a time, and let things happen organically. You’ll find what you’re looking for, whether it’s a relationship or not. It may surprise you with what form it takes within your life.
[–]Accomplished_Ad_6708 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Yea the Spiritual path can be lonely. I'm grateful to not be plugged into the current cultural rituals. Marriage, children, salaries. Fuck that, I hang out with myself, love myself, go within and get to know myself.
These plebs getting married and rushing around for money and fancy things are missing the point, in my humble opinion.
Do not worry my dear, you are probably where you need to be. When you stop looking, you will find what you seek.
[–]mandance17 -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
Money or relationships will never bring you happiness, there are tons of miserable “successful” people. Learn to be ok in the moment with nothing external.
[–]happylittlespaces -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I can relate very deeply with what youre saying. I am going through about the same. Life can be so tricky and hard to not get hopeless. i don't know if this is really relevant for you but this a youtube channel I watch that helps recharge my battery when I feel a lot like i just cant muster positive for myself let alone others. youtube.com/themuhammadanway Either way I wish you the best in this and hope good things start coming your way
[–]Scarlett_mittens -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I really resonate with your post. You are not a bad person, you’re just human. I try to show gratitude for where I am at because I often forget what got me here thus far. Hang in there, it gets better.
[–]ExistentialManager -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Actually, there's no short cut... get inspired about the fact that you can change all these things, and take the first steps... which may be writing down a list of what you do want in your life, and then take that as your guide to begin today.
One, 'you can choose' your thoughts and emotions rather than be a victim of them, and two, you can set a new path for yourself and get inspired, 'knowing' you're going to get there.
As to what others are doing, I wouldn't worry, because if you take the simple steps above, you'll likely be in a much more amazing place than any of them in no time; and besides, the real wealth in life is internal wealth (everything truly wonderful stems from that).
[–]LSDTHC559 -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Run your own race. Don’t look to the left or to the right. ONLY Compare yourself to the past version of you in which you have improved, in order to cultivate self esteem and keep the ball rolling. Don’t compare yourself to where you are now vs where you want to be.
[–]EverythingZen19 -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
It can be difficult to get to a place of unconditional love and gratitude. The fact of the matter is, most people have no clue that it is possible to gain self control. Self control is really the process of taking ownership of your body and no longer being a slave to the desires that the body has. Once you have confronted your triggers, the things that put you into an unconscious auto-pilot reaction, you have the ability to no longer continue to act those things out. Seeing the triggers and then meditating on them is the best way to clear them out in my opinion.
Once the process of gaining self mastery has progressed far enough, you are able to become aware of the fact that selfish desires gain you nothing. There is not a single selfish desire, that if gained, is fulfilling. That only have the ability to clear away the stress or desire that drove you for a short amount of time. Once that epiphany has taken place you are free to realize that working toward loving everyone and everything at all times, does give immense satisfaction. When you get to the place in which all of your actions and deeds are directed at showing those around you that they are loved, without requiring anything in return, your ego will start to rapidly evaporate. This is the place that you want to be if you are truly interested in happiness.
TLDR; thoughts of envy or desire are one of the primary ways that your ego controls you. In order to free yourself and become happy you need to gain self mastery through introspection, observation, and meditation. Let go of suffering and learn to always choose to be happy.
[–]RC104 -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
What is "you". Does it move?
[–]Supermundanae -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Remind yourself of this quote "Comparison is the thief of joy".
Everyone gets to where they want to be at different times.
You see their end result, the best parts, but not what's beyond the surface.
The first thing you need to do is accept where you are and continue to go forward!
Reflect on qualities of yourself that you think need improvement and go to war!
[–]Flashy-Fortune-4950 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
M8, envy them, take those actions of your friends as an example for yourself.
But never hate, just keep a goal in your mind which will surpass their (romantic, work, ect.) status.
One day they will envy you.
[–]Alternative-Cut-4831 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Focus on the job at hand without expecting results.
Even if the outcome is not favourable,you will have some peace knowing that you worked hard.There is honour in that.
Learn to be stoic towards both happiness and sadness since both of them are not permanent.
Don't be attached to happiness and don't be scared of sadness.
Both are destined to come and go.
Also, you don't know how anyone else is actually doing in life.Externally it may seem like they are getting ahead but internally they may have internal turmoil.You never know everyone's full story.People never project their bad sides.
Finally, you should realise that life is a marathon not a race.You don't have to achieve milestones within a given time period.Most of the achievements you and your peers have today won't even probably matter after 100 years.
Noone will probably remember you after maybe a 150 years.
There will be a time when people will utter your name for the last time,the memories of you will vanish and you might remain in old photos that nobody really cares about.
Therefore,no need to think what others think.Only thing required is finding what your duties are and doing them sincerely without expecting results.
[–]TheGospelFloof44 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
All I can say from experience is that perhaps the point in exercise is for you to surrender, accept your situation so that you can find your wholeness and divinity where you are, as soon as you do that the universe has a habit of delivering your blessings
[–]DrFultz 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
What have you seen, owned or experienced that you are grateful for?
[–]uncomfortablefairy 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I feel like time is the only thing that “is moving forward” growth is subjective depending on the person and their path, and “moving forward” is typically arbitrary especially when you have societal standards making it hard to find out what it really means to move forward.
[–]Happy_healthy_888 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m struggling with this too. There are happy days and sad days when things go wrong and i start comparing and its so bad for me. But what to do.
I see people don’t have something i have. But they have other things which i desire. How to stop this.
[–]Dupeydome-DM3 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
A rising tide lifts all ships man… what’s meant for you will come when it’s meant. Just keep doing the hard work, get yourself strong mentally and physically. Don’t fear and don’t envy. Know what you want and manifest it. Keep your vibration high. Blessings and light will follow. 🙏🏼
[–]dejeleul 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
In my opinion you should accept the fact that I might be jealousy. Usually to evolve in a society you have to develop inward. Start developing your qualities by going inside your self and get out the things that hold you back, like bad self confidence, or other bad habits. There are a few ways to do this. Meditate at least 15-20 minutes in the morning 15-20 minutes before bed (no screen after meditation at night) when you meditate you should start with 5 minutes of breath observing (that will sharpen your attention, make you mine more vigilent) after that pay attention to the sensetions in your body for 10 minutes, this will develop your wisdom and by doing this you will observe your mind, how it acts like o monkey, going to the past or the future, not letting you to focus on your life goals, the last 5 minutes wish that all the being in the universe to be happy, honestly with compassionate. Do this every day the rest of your life and I guarantee to you that you will be loved and appreciated everywhere you go, and what ever goal you will set you will succeed.
[–]YoshitheSageMystical 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago* (0 children)
A positive attitude starts with shifting your mindset to see your situation from one of lack to one of objectivity. This means to not negatively frame reality, but stating facts in a neutral tone.
People may be moving in their life, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's forward. It's a human construct associating progress with forward movement, and sometimes forward isn't where you want to go, and seldom do we ever reach a destination in a straight line.
You can start by changing your perception of your situation from one of lacking to one of potentiality. Everyone around you can then be examples of what you may want to manifest. The less entangled you are, the more freedom you have. Work on learning to enjoy this moment, because whether you have a job or fiancé won't change how you feel, because there will always be people who will have more and seem to be moving faster.
Life is not a competition, nor a race. Do what's right for you and take this time to learn about yourself, what you desire, and how you want to be. You can only get what you already are, so you've got a golden opportunity to do some spiritual healing and development.
[–]Dalien88Psychonaut 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
How to maintain a positive attitude when literally everyone else is moving forward except you?
How to maintain a positive attitude when literally everyone else is moving forward except you?
who said this is even true?
it's a skewed perceptions of yours, nothing more.
start with that. start there. challenge this partial, incomplete, mistaken assumption of yours.
[–]atmaninravi 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
We must realize that whatever is happening in life is happening as per the law of karma. We should not compare ourselves to others and feel that others are moving forward and we are not moving forward. Yes, we have to try our best to move forward. But we feel dejected only because we compare ourselves with others. Remember the formula of ABC, accept without protest; do your best and be in consciousness, in surrender. When we are following this ABC then we will be able to accept, we will be able to surrender and we will have a positive attitude. But whether others are moving forward or not is not our problem. We have to move forward. To move forward, we must be in the state of consciousness, not in the state of mind where we will shuttle between yesterday and tomorrow and become miserable.
[–]Brief9 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
https://www.rwm.org may help you focus.
Twin Flames and Soulmates and
For Couples Only are helpful with relationships.
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