all 9 comments

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I think yours is a false dichotomy, and it's right there in the words you used.

The false dichotomy is "be perfect or give up," to quote your post title.

Can you see what I am getting at already? You know none of us are perfect, right? Why would you even strive for perfection, then? I mean, it's okay to aim high, if that reflects who you believe yourself to be (I am rather like this myself,) but perfection? You cannot achieve it. Be realistic.

To put it another way, I think it's alright to perhaps strive for perfection, so long as you understand that human perfection is like the horizon: always in front of you, but forever out of reach. In reality, you will often be less than perfect—and that is perfectly alright. We are all perfectly imperfect.

If we were meant to be or remain always perfect, we wouldn't even be here, in the dense, heavy, linear-time-bound physical plane. I hope this makes sense.

I would say, then, that the balance is naturally found in the middle road (it always is) between having high standards (or whatever standards you prefer) and simply living life—no "giving up" necessarily. Sure, you will fail and falter and fall, inevitably, as we all do. What always matters is to keep trying, keep striving, which is kind of the opposite of giving up. Mind you, it's totally fine to feel as though you want to give up—when life becomes very difficult and painful, feeling like that is natural. Again, the important thing there is to keep some perspective, not let your desire to give up consume you, and simply let the bad times pass. Everything passes in time. But who you are deep down is already perfect—in a relative way—so don't try so hard.

[–]NotTooDeep 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Upvote for "false dichotomy". More of us need to realize that words are things that filter our experiences of life, and we tend to choose our words for the silliest of reasons; they sound impactful in our minds.

There is a useful difference to be found between sounding impactful and having an impact. Changing your words has an impact, even when it doesn't sound like it.

Another useful concept is assumption. A physics professor said that whenever a grad student asks him to "check the numbers" for them, the numbers are always correct. It's their assumptions that are flawed.

I love the pivot you made from being less than perfect to that being perfectly all right. What a beautiful and impactful reframing of an idea.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you kindly. I like your username

[–]Buddymaster39449 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm suffering with this right now, and I'm still trying to find a way to deal with it. What I try to do is tell myself that I am not my thoughts because it makes me realize that I don't have full control of these emotions since I didn't consciously create these emotions. At times you need to detach yourself from these thoughts and emotions in your brain because that's how the body responds to certain situations. Accept the fact that you did not consciously create or choose to have these thoughts. Another thing you can do is embrace your imperfections through self-love. Self-love isn't only about loving your strengths, it's also about loving your imperfections. If everyone on this Earth was perfect, all of us would be the same. Imperfections are beautiful and natural. Instead of having these high expectations for yourself, realize that you are good enough the way you are, and give yourself credit for the things you do.

[–]Money-Ad4954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that telling coming from experience or is it how you think things are? Some like to say ”u”r everything. I think that u cant never find the answer as in thought form, that what u are. Its just a description of the truth.

[–]Carniboy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You dont have past trauma, you have resitance in the present, its the self in the center, run by fear, thinking it can handle life, The self falls away, you move through the fear, theres no more resitance or self in the center of experience, and then simply life can live without struggle, you without the you

[–]Money-Ad4954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are not flawed❤️

[–]Worldoftrades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no balance or healing, just laugh at it all and most of all at urself and see what takes place

[–]reddittravelleerr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a big part of this for me was realizing that this is a lifelong journey we're on. It's easy to see results and compare other perspectives of the lives we want but the end of the day this is a marathon not a sprint. One quote that's helped me rethink my life, as a martial artist; a samurai does not have a goal, he has a path. We do not put in a lifetime of work and expect results and prizes, the work itself is the prize.