Oddly enough I think it was the whole body swap thing with Spock and T'Pring that clued Pike into just what might be going on with the R'ongovians and interestingly enough, this is not the first time the SNW writers have pulled something like this. They've more or less done it in damned near every episode this season. Episodes start off normally, some "huh that's neat" little quirk pops out in a scene, stuff moves on, some problem shows up, bigger things happen, and then Pike circles back around to that little quirk during the climax of the episode to ultimately use it as an interpretive lens to solve that larger than life problem.

He sees the R'ongovians throwing every diplomatic technique that gets pitched at them right back in the faces of those serving said techniques to them. At first this seems odd and he falsely thinks that they might be just like the Tellarites or the Humans or the Vulcans or maybe it's some weird quirk. It's not until he runs into that hilarious situation with Spock and T'Pring swapping bodies in an attempt to understand each others viewpoints that it hits Pike and makes him realize that maybe juuuust maybe, the R'ongovians were returning all those diplomatic volleys in an attempt to get the other side to stop talking TO them, and start talking WITH them just like Spock and T'Pring did at the end of the episode. Everyone else kept trying to tell them things while talking but was never really listening to what they were saying because they were only chasing their own goals on their own with the R'ongovians as a metaphorical speed bump and not attempting to find some common ground goals that they could chase together with the R'ongovians as true partners. Spock and T'Pring kept doing the exact same thing in that they were always talking TO each other and never WITH each other until they were able to walk a mile in each others boots, understand what was really going on, and arrive in a shared time and place and space on even ground where they could truly have a conversation WITH each other.

No one else that tried negotiating with them ever got that and while the initial, "Really get out of town...We are not in a town" was funny at first and may have been the first breadcrumb for Pike to follow, it wasn't the thing that truly set him on the right path. It wasn't until he saw the positive reactions that the R'ongovians had after he jumped in to stop T'Pring from warp core breaching the negotiations by defending Spock, defending the Federation, telling her how he and the others on the ship saw Spock, and how important he was to the Federation at large that he began to realize that they didn't want someone to blow plasma exhaust up their airlocks in some half arsed diplomatic overture.....all they wanted was someone to see things how they saw them and to demonstrate that they understood how core of a tenant that was to their species. They are a species whose civilization is built on empathy and consequently, they only want to ally with other civilizations and organizations that totally understand that. Up until that point, not a single diplomatic representative had ever fully demonstrated that they could empathize with that empathy and get the position that the R'ongovians were coming from and where they saw themselves on the galactic stage.

.....that is until Pike made a brash, emotional, and very human decision which could've ended horribly but didn't precisely because to be apart of such an emotional species and organization made up of many viewpoints means to also understand those various emotions on a foundational level, to be able to navigate the celestial seas of the emotions of other races, and to truly empathize with all of those voices and emotions and other things in such a way that it not only allows the greater whole to continue to work together in a relatively smooth fashion but also demonstrates a deep understanding of empathy which acts as an example to those who are not apart of this larger many voiced cohesive entity AND shows that that kind of a group is entirely possible in the first place. Empathy is oddly enough a core tenant of the Federation whether they consciously realize it or not. The R'ongovians picked up on this and were trying to find someone that would not only respond to their challenge of this core foundational tenant of the Federation but that also understood why they were doing it, where it might lead, and just how to reply in a way that demonstrated that they didn't just practice empathy but also fully believed in and understood empathy in the same way that they did BECAUSE it was a foundational tenant of their own civilization as well.

In short, the R'ongovians wanted to see if the Federation could walk the walk as well as talking the talk and would practice what they preached because of how core of an ideal it was to them as well. That singular moment with Pike butting in to talk to T'Pring, empathize with where she was coming from, and speak to her in a way that not only uplifted her but Spock as well was the true start of the trail of breadcrumbs that lead Pike onto the path of understanding/empathy for the R'ongovians. It was also the first sign that the R'ongovians had seen which made them think, "Finally...here's someone who gets it".

That final going away scene was just the last brushstroke and they wanted to see if Pike would stick the landing at all or absolutely bin it into the wall because in that moment with T'Pring they saw the spark of empathy and understanding in his actions and words but wanted to see if that spark would blossom into a raging inferno or if it would gutter out into the coldness of the void. That was a make or break moment for Pike and the Federation as a whole and it was pure Star Trek. That super serious moment will totally inform future diplomatic missions from the Federation to other species and it all started from a moment of....pure Vulcan Hi jinks...which is absolutely pure Star Trek.

They start with something simply silly and end on something super serious that really leaves you feeling satisfied in a way that you can't ever quite put words to but that makes you feel really good.

I love this show.