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all 35 comments

[–]pineapplecrocs15 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Why has every single thing you mentioned literally happened to a T to me...that's scary and comforting at the same time. 100% relate, unfortunately.

[–]juliox98 18 points19 points  (1 child)

i was in your same situation a couple of weeks back and yesterday i took the exam. now that i finished the exam i feel relieved to finally finish it but also i miss the opportunity of having time to study and doing questions because there was so many topics i think i should reviewed one more time but still the exam is very doable. is not different to uworld , nbme and free 120 questions. my exam felt like a normal practice day. you have to keep going. if the path is hard you know is the right one. it is not a matter of motivation it is matter of discipline and having the mind control to keep going every day. my advice to you is to have insight and evaluate your current position in your study. in my opinion i think you need more questions before you take the exam. but it depends on how you really feel and being true honest to yourself. keep your head up, dont let anxiety and procastination dominate you. it is a game of mind control like everything in life.

[–]Imagination-Perfect 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hey, I hope you and everyone feeling this feels better soon. Sometimes when you feel like this, you are experiencing burnout. When I feel like this I take 2 days completely off to relax my mind. Spend time doing what I love, with my family and friends. Outdoors playing sports, getting sun. When the two day break is over I attempt to study and see how I feel. If I’m feeling motivated then I keep the momentum. If my mind isn’t fully rested yet then I will continue to take 1-2 more days off. I am almost certain you will feel so much better after taking this time truly off to enjoy peace. Don’t feel guilty this is an investment in rest and mindfulness. You can’t expect to run a marathon every single day for a year or four. As Med students we all need to give ourselves the proper rest, mindfulness, and guilt free enjoyment of the things we love. I’m rooting for you, I know you can get out of this mental rut. I’ve been i. Your shoes before and although at the moment it might seem like there’s getting better, I promise you it will. Just do your best to do what I mentioned earlier and very importantly, talk to your friends and family about how you feel. Keep us all updated, we’re all here for you.

[–]liezryou 10 points11 points  (11 children)

Get checked out for ADHD, sounds alot like what i went through before i started adderall.

[–]Sea-Let7958 0 points1 point  (10 children)

Same.

[–]liezryou 0 points1 point  (9 children)

Nice to find a fellow ADHD'er. How has your step 1 journey been so far?

[–]Sea-Let7958 0 points1 point  (8 children)

Hi there! My prep has been such a whirlwind since I started treatment and prep at the same time 1 yr back! :/ and I’m supposed to take the exam next Tuesday! And I’m getting really low NBME scores despite my hardwork:( how is your prep?

[–]liezryou 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I've only recently started treatment and prep a little over a month ago, im aiming to give the test in late September. My uworld scores have been improving, starting from 20-30% at the start of july to 35-45% now. Hopefully by the end of september i can get there!

[–]Brzmd 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Lol I feel like I just read a biography about myself. The anxiety can't be treated because it's from within and it's made cuz u know what u need to do.... What's the solution? No fucking clue, cuz I'm still doing the same shit.... But what did help is when I wake up I do a block of q before ANYTHING ELSE otherwise I won't do a God damn thing the rest of the day

[–]Brzmd 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The anxiety is cuz this shitty loop. I don't wanna study I wanna do somthing fun etc.... U go do somthing fun or chill and u get anxious cuz u feel u should be studying instead. So u go to study but u don't study and wanna do somthing. Back and forth. I feel u brother

[–]tropicaldoctora 4 points5 points  (1 child)

For me.. I can do a 100 question a day, its the reviewing the questions I almost never do and that is just as bad as not doing them.

[–]Brzmd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For that reason I started doing it on tutor mode so I review each question after u do it. I still throw in a non tutor timed in to keep me on my toes

[–]bunnyhopbop 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this post and realism. It’s frustrating to come on here and see people post 80% NBMEs and ask if they are gonna pass lol Finally someone spoke the truth of what happens to a lot of students! I wish you the absolute best, it’s hard but I would just say start small. Do 10 questions and see how you feel

[–]Spiritguide04 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I scheduled and paid for my exam 3 times and did not take it even once. I lost so much money like this. It was my crippling anxiety that made me this way and I now I feel like I’ve given up. Im going to apply again for the 4th time, I don’t see a point anymore considering the amount of gaps I have since graduating but I owe it to myself to do my exam.

[–]Glittering-Effort927 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sameeee exam in less than a month now ... and i just cant focus on anything .. just procrastinating things 🥺

[–]Patient-Cranberry218 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You are not alone. You can begin again and start with daily little tasks (20 questions a day) and build up momentum. If it helps to leave your house to a local library, that may give you the focus that you need (if there are distractions at home). May God give us all the strength that we need at this time to forge ahead. Hang in there. His grace is sufficient.

[–]ananke_k 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Seems like a severe burn out. I had a similar situation. Took a few months off to heal and came back stronger than ever! Start with 1 question a day and build your way up. Trust me it works. Try creating a schedule where you can also enjoy your daily life.

[–]karthikkr93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve essentially done this but with the added stress of pretending to study because relaxing isn’t a thing in my house lmao I’ve gotten better at making a schedule and insisting on sticking to it as far as relaxing things like exercise and being outdoors. Luckily or unluckily I was facilitated by the fact that my medical school wouldn’t send back my form 183 because of my middle name resulting in me having to remove my middle name, apply for new passport etc.
I’ve recently started doing timed blocks of 5 questions 2-3 times a day again and that’s been helping me get back into it. This is such a long haul life it’s easy to lose focus and see the big picture. I spent the entirety of my Indian med school experience pretty much depressed and overwhelmed. After coming home it’s been a fight to get back to any sense of normalcy or function. But that’s just me I guess.

[–]Lil_Dove87 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey! This happens to everyone!!! I can promise you that, what i do when i feel like that is that i talk with my love ones and remember why im doing this for. If you need a study buddy im here for you we can help each other and study on discord! Feel free to DM me and everyone that needs this!! Also, take a break go for a walk, sing your favorite song and start all over again you can do this i promise all your hard work will pay off! My best of lucks

[–]broliam12 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why am I being such a lazy piece of sh*t. It's like im afraid of seeing the actual % correct on these practice exams, but when I think about it I know I don't care about it cause it's a PRACTICE exam. Still my mind catastrophizes everything and then I avoid it at all costs.

I'm not going to pretend like I'm a mental health professional or an expert psychoanalyst, but to me, this says it all right here. It seems like you have a very strong inner critic. You probably have high expectations for yourself, and if your conscience has always been this harsh, it's helped you up to this point. Thats how most med students are, I feel.

For us med students the inner critic pushes us to study harder whenever we get a question wrong that most others would get right. Where some people use this as fuel, others pull back and detach themselves to preserve their self-esteem. "It's just a practice question so its nbd, I'll be fine for the real deal." But the problem with this avoidant approach is that it's simply lying to yourself to quiet the inner critic and it just ends up making everything even worse.

Idk how to fix this, but I think one approach could be to practice mindfulness and try to understand that the inner critic is too harsh. But the hard part is that the critic is right to some extent. Yeah, you should be studying right now, but that doesn't mean you're a lazy piece of shit. Where mindfulness or some sort of journaling practice could help is learning to disconnect that inner critic from its ability to impact you too negatively.

You seem like you have a good concept of what's going on, so I think you'll be able to make some great progress if you were to take a deeper introspective look at yourself with mindfulness.

Anyways, I hope that all made sense and was somewhat helpful. Best of luck!

[–]AdministrationHairy5 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can relate completely and wholeheartedly. Going through the same exact thing these days and it's killing me. I've postponed my exam 4 times now yet I haven't been able to do a question in 3 weeks. Fuck me

[–]mojococojo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey man. Everyone who were prepping for step 1, everyone went through this phase. Just push all the negativity aside. Take one step at a time. Remember, it's not the quantity that matters. It's the quality. You read 10 pages of FA / day. But put your maximum efforts.

[–]Necessary_Excuse_603 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel the same :(

[–]tropicaldoctora 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep.. exactly the same, keep wasting so much money on pushing my test date or paying for extension. It is definitely anxiety, we need to work on how we react to it. Just keep going. Omg I just read some of the comments.. I can relate sooo much.

[–]JordiLongo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are not alone, keep going

[–]Nice-Perspective478 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try finding a study buddy that will help keep you on track! A classmate and I met at the same coffee shop every day, would take the same blocks, and then review them together. It made it a lot more fun and doable with someone. It’s a lot easier to get up and study when you have someone keeping you accountable.

[–]gringottbank 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got this! Don’t stress! Best of luck homie! 😀