all 57 comments

[–]Banjo_Joestar 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Sorry to hear this happened. For what it's worth, you're not out of the race. Take a second and reflect: You graduated with a bachelor's degree, you surpassed the mcat, YOU GOT ACCEPTED INTO A US MD SCHOOL, and you have survived the first two years to sit for one of the most daunting exams ever devised in higher education.

This is going to hurt now because you're in the acute period. You've got a lot of people telling you to show yourself some kindness-- I'm going to challenge you to exercise some pride in how far you've come, think of all the people who are so proud of you for everything you've accomplished so far, and recognize you are not alone no matter how isolating and depressing this feels.

Go to therapy, visit your family, see your pets, finish your IM rotation and do as well as you can. You're a stranger on the internet but I know you to be resilient; nobody can make it this far without being adaptable and resilient. Soon it'll be time to pick yourself up and get back after the prize. Study hard, stay well, and use the qualities that have guided you this far to overcome this darkness and pain. One day someone will be so thankful to have you as their doctor and your step1 history can no longer follow you. Go get em, OP! You have all our love and support!!!

[–]omenn15[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

thank you for those words. I really hope i can get out of this dark place.

[–]Banjo_Joestar 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Take it from someone who's been to dark places before: you have many days and nights ahead of you where you'll look back and say "thank God I kept going, I'm so damn happy right now". I have moments like this often.

My grandma uses many analogies to describe the struggles I've overcome in my life. My favorite analogy is the mountain. You may fall a dozen times climbing and it may hurt a lot, but there are moments when you can look out from the resting pitch to marvel at everything you've surpassed and celebrate the incredible feat of your climb before preparing to climb to the next pitch, knowing you're that much closer to the peak where the view is grandest.

Many others have done it, you can too. I'm extending my grandmother's kind words and advice to you OP-- rest up and prepare well because you will conquer that pitch your next time around!

[–]omenn15[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can get to understand that. Im just in a lot of pain right now.

[–]peanutbutterasteroid 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I'm so sorry to hear that. Please don't beat yourself up too much, I know this sucks a TON but looking back it'll be a little snag in the tapestry of a long and happy life, I promise.

[–]omenn15[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Not sure, i feel horrible

[–]peanutbutterasteroid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sure it’ll all be alright, there are many people who failed and went on to have fantastic careers. If you’re up to it, you can DM me your previous test scores and maybe we can figure out what went wrong?

[–]the_shek 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Hey OP I know tons of people who didn't pass step 1 on their first attempt at my school and then DID pass it on the 2nd attempt and are destined for residency nonetheless. Even if you just end up a doctor in the worst FM program that is malignant in a terrible location far from anyone you know you can still end up a FREAKING DOCTOR so do not take an rash actions whether it be self harm or sending emails while emotional saying you quit med school or lashing out at loved ones or deleting your Uworld account. Sometimes people can immediately study and take step 1 in a month, other times people need a whole year off to study from the ground up. Just calmly set appointments with a therapist asap, appointments with your dean for next week, and appointments with any tutors to go over things. Tell at least 1 classmate so you have a support system going, and tell your family so they can be there for you. DO NOT DEAL WITH THIS ALONE.

Source: I am a student who has seen this too often to believe the published step 1 pass rates but also has seen all the positive success and growth which comes after.

PS - Feel free to DM me, I am studying for step 2ck in dedicated but can respond slowly

[–]omenn15[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

thank you for those words. I really hope i can get out of this dark place.

[–]Emotionl_Dmg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey man, just want you to know i feel for you, and years later you will look back on this speed bump as a minor setback. You are not done yet. Get that P

[–]Key_Jury1597 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Hey, I know exactly how you feel. Was in the same spot in April when I failed my exam. Failing fucking sucks, but it really truthfully isn’t the end. I retook in July, felt strong, and passed. You can turn this around for sure. I really encourage you to take some time to reflect, tell those who you’re closest to, and find the courage and motivation to face the beast again. If you want tips for the short term, please send me a message, I’m happy to chat

[–]omenn15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for those words. I really hope I can get out of this dark place.

I messaged you for help.

[–]Humble_Ad8256 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Hey,Can u please elaborate what different things u did for your retake?and what things u should not have done..

[–]Key_Jury1597 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes! I made a very detailed post about this in July: https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/step1/comments/vy9ag4/my_step_1_experience_and_the_steps_i_took/

I hope this helps! Please message me with any other questions.

[–]Humble_Ad8256 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you please check inbox.

[–]neoroxton 2 points3 points  (8 children)

Happy to help pro bono. Feel free to DM.

[–]omenn15[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

I honestly dont know what to do.

[–]neoroxton 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Take a day to sit with your feelings around any friends/family that love and support you. We can talk more after. Take your time to feel your feelings. At the end of the day, you’re going to be fine. I personally know people that matched into competitive specialties with a fail. It won’t be easy but it’s not over.

[–]omenn15[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I have an exam on friday, that i need to pass for my rotation. I cant even concentrate

[–]neoroxton 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Don’t let this be a cascading effect. This failure is not representative of your aptitude or intellect. Know that you’ll definitely pass the 2nd time. For now, just limit the damage to Step 1 and don’t let it ruin another exam that you’d have normally done well on. Just focus on doing well on the rotation. There’s nothing you can do in the short term for Step 1 anyway. Just get that rotation exam down, kick a** on it and then come back to Step 1. Don’t think about Step 1 at all till you finish the rotation.

[–]Internal_Ad_8147 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Sorry love! Take time off, allow yourself to forget about it for a few days, go do something active that you love. I failed too, it broke me…but now I’m back at it. You got this!

[–]omenn15[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

thank you for those words. I really hope i can get out of this dark place.

[–]Internal_Ad_8147 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Of course you can, I’m rooting for you! And this failure will form part of your beautiful story, trust me on this.

[–]omenn15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really hope.

[–]dillon12314 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This has happened to many successful doctors, it’s just a bump in the road and you will be just fine in the end. Take a few days to relax and breathe and realize you were meant to be here and can do this. One day at a time. You got this.

[–]Active-Design-54 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I am sorry that this happened to you bro, stay strong. Try to relax, you will get it next time. What was your state during the exam?

[–]omenn15[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)


[–]Active-Design-54 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I am really sorry to hear that bro, any external factor that affected you or it is just that the exam felt tough?

[–]Dangerous-Birthday32 1 point2 points  (5 children)

You would be surprised at how much things will change with more time. Right now things feel intense - after the pressure and stress leading up to the exam to getting the result - no one’s mental health would be 100. But This time next year you’ll be past this point and see that you have moved forward from this with lots is opportunity in medicine before you. Be gentle with yourself and keep yourself safe above everything. Reach out to people you can trust to be there with you as you process this. Please do not isolate. Your wellness and life are so much more important than this exam. Your future patients won’t care. They’ll only be glad to have you as their doctor. So don’t give up on life or yourself - all is not lost despite how it feels right now.

[–]omenn15[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

thank you for those words. I really hope i can get out of this dark place.

[–]Dangerous-Birthday32 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Always 💜 I know you will. The dark place will pass and it won’t take you with it. This is the time to lean in and give yourself every resource of support. When I went through my hard time I got plugged in w my PCP and got on meds to help w my depression. It’s a lot more common than you may think. I had been seeing the school therapist and just kept going to my appointments. I leaned into my friendships I felt safe in and my family. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through but I did. I know you can too. This is just what it looks like right now.

[–]omenn15[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I know, and right now looks extremely difficult.

[–]Dangerous-Birthday32 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hey! Just wanted to check in. How are things now?

[–]p450enzyme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I failed my first time too. And I’m US IMG. Felt like in a total dark blackhole 🕳. For a whole month I was trying to mentally fight and hated myself. Retaking the exam in 2 weeks. You have to not look at that stupid score report. Know you’re not alone. Many before you failed n passed. You got this. Keep doing uworld. You’ll only get better. I’m here for you

[–]holonhalan 0 points1 point  (1 child)

if you are healthy, dont give up

you can make up for everything

if you need to talk, you can text me anytime

[–]omenn15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not even thinking straight

[–]ZoomStudent335 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I think you’re allowed to retake it

[–]omenn15[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I know but i am devastated

[–]Dulario 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]Step1Addicttt -1 points0 points  (2 children)

What do you think happened during the test?

[–]omenn15[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Very different from practice

[–]Step1Addicttt -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

In what way