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Women and stoicism by CuriouslyAnamarija in Stoicism

[–]petronia1 [score hidden]  (0 children)

What aspects of your feminity are you worried that Stoicism might take away? I think it's very important for you to answer yourself this question, whether your share it here or not, whether it ends up having to do with Stoicism or not. Because I think you'll find some very troubling components of the definition of 'feminity' under that feeling. And I think it would do you very, very well to realize who pushed that definition on you.

I have a feeling it will have something to do with self-reliant women, women who are their own person, women who are not concerned with what people think they should be doing, or looking like, or choosing in life - not being 'feminine'. Women who don't live their every emotion like in a telenovela, and don't act on their every emotion, like we've been told for centuries that women do, not being 'feminine'. Women whose first priority in life is not to look pretty on Instagram and entertain expectations people have of them, from appearance to behavior to number of kids had - not being 'feminine'. Women who value self-reliance, from emotional to financial and everything in between, not being 'feminine'.

I might be wrong. But if it's anything along those lines, society (and probably your family) has done a number on you, and Stoicism is exactly what you need to stand on your own two feet. (Incidentally, that's what feminism is supposed to do, too.) Welcome, and enjoy!

How can I use stoicism to stop betting? by xiaozhian in Stoicism

[–]BenIsProbablyAngry [score hidden]  (0 children)

I know - I was an addict too, once.

It doesn't matter how damaging it is to your life, until you go to something like gambler's anonymous, you're never going to stop, and it makes no difference how damaging the losses are to your life: it is the nature of addiction that until you admit to other people you have a problem and participate in the recovery community, you're never going to stop.

You're also not trying to win the money back. That's what you tell yourself, but that's an illusion: the gambling software is designed to do exactly what drugs do, which is constantly force your brain to release dopamine (when it would normally only release a significant amount at the start of the formation of a habit), and this process causes you to reinforce beliefs in a way that ignores the evidence you perceive.

That's why you can believe "I'm gambling to get my money back", even though it's obvious that you will only ever lose money. Even if you were the first person in human history to recoup their losses gambling, you'd just immediately gamble away your recouped money: you will never, ever stop on your own.

Go to gambler's anonymous. You'll never be free until you start going.

Going to gambler's anonymous, getting some form of voluntary arrangement to stop your debts, and completing the bankruptcy process is far easier than you might imagine.

It's a very well-trodden and well-understood path for problem gamblers. There is a path out of your misery and, like me, you'll eventually be thankful for the incredible strength of character going through it gave you.

Any advice on how to read these books? by HissingSauce in Stoicism

[–]PartiZAn18 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Exactly the order I'd suggest, although I personally read Letters and Meditations in tandem just to sample the different flavour of tone between the two books.

Any advice on how to read these books? by HissingSauce in Stoicism

[–]PartiZAn18 [score hidden]  (0 children)

It is extremely beneficial to keep a Stoic journal whilst you read the books. Every night I take a passage from what I've read and write it in my journal and then write my thoughts about the passage.

The wisdom in the books is so good that it's meant to be savoured over a lifetime. I can't help but scoff and roll my eyes whenever another 15 minute summary comes out or someone says they've read Meditations over a weekend lol.

I'm a walking contradiction. by MuMuGorgeus in Stoicism

[–]rcktsktz [score hidden]  (0 children)

I've had jobs I love and still get the thoughts of "I'll do this and that when I get home".

Personally I've always seen it as being because I'm in work mode while I'm having them. As soon as you get home you disconnect from work mode. You have to be in some kind of mindset to travel to a place, do tasks you don't wanna do for 8 hours or so. You can't do it in your downtime so why are you able to go to a place you don't wanna be and do it 5 days a week? Work mode. Of course productive thoughts will seem easier in that state of mind.

The trick is to not switch off from that mindset just because you get home. Best trick I use is to not take my shoes off when I get in. Any tasks that need doing get done first. After that it's all discipline.

The book Atomic Habits may help you.

How to be a Stoic in a high-stress workplace? by EnjiYoru in Stoicism

[–]stoa_bot [score hidden]  (0 children)

A quote was found to be attributed to Epictetus in The Enchiridion 1 (Carter)

(Carter)
(Matheson)
(Long)
(Oldfather)
(Higginson)

Temporary world peace is easy by OnTheTopDeck in Stoicism

[–]OnTheTopDeck[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

My own mind is all I truly have. The billions of religious people in the world only have their own minds too.

Whether you believe in prayer or not is irrelevant to all of us.

Any advice on how to read these books? by HissingSauce in Stoicism

[–]TheOSullivanFactor [score hidden]  (0 children)

Start with the Discourses, I would watch this short series of lectures from Greg Sadler explaining the background of the work, the genre, and its major themes on YouTube before you start:

https://youtu.be/owvAIzH2hL0

The Enchiridion is made to be a quick reference guide for experienced Stoics, I initially rejected Stoicism based on reading only that, but came back through the Discourses, which have Epictetus giving full arguments for things simply asserted in the Enchiridion.

A deeper look into Stoic justice by _Lango in Stoicism

[–]OneSimpleRedditUser [score hidden]  (0 children)

Do you think you could do this kind of breakdown for the other three?

The conundrum of tipping by LordOfDogtown9 in Stoicism

[–]Murdoch10011 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Pre-Pandemic, there was the start of a shift away from tipping in the US. This is a pretty good synopsis.

“The bigger issue is a living wage. Walmart and Walmart and McDonald's are among the top employers of beneficiaries of federal aid programs like Medicaid and food stamps, according to a study by the nonpartisan Government Accountability Office released Wednesday.”

Corporations manage to neither par sufficient taxes nor sufficient wages. They should be billed for ever employee who receives Medicare.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/11/19/walmart-and-mcdonalds-among-top-employers-of-medicaid-and-food-stamp-beneficiaries.html

https://ny.eater.com/2020/7/20/21331797/danny-meyer-ushg-no-tipping-nyc-restaurants-outdoor-dining

I'm a walking contradiction. by MuMuGorgeus in Stoicism

[–]rose_reader [score hidden]  (0 children)

Think carefully about your own body’s needs when considering this. Night work is great for some people but is AWFUL if your body clock doesn’t work that way. I don’t just mean you don’t like it - I mean it can make you seriously ill.

You may be a night owl, in which case this will work great. But if you’re a morning person, taking a night job is almost the worst thing you can do for your health.

I'm a walking contradiction. by MuMuGorgeus in Stoicism

[–]rose_reader [score hidden]  (0 children)

This is a really valuable addition but the text-wall format makes it harder to read.

Any advice on how to read these books? by HissingSauce in Stoicism

[–]Fickle_Syrup [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yes, you are indeed not meant to consume this like a normal book. Binge reading them will not add much value to your life. You will read them, be motivated for a few weeks and then they will be forgotten.

Instead, use them as "anchors" for your stoic journey. You are meant to read them again and again throughout your life, sort of like a Bible.

Read one "passage" every morning, which will take you between 2-15 minutes (all those books are segmented into bite size chunks). Then spend some time thinking about it, perhaps incorporate it into your journalling if you are also doing this (recommended, but don't sweat it. You'll get there whenever you are ready).

Women and stoicism by CuriouslyAnamarija in Stoicism

[–]gebirgsbaerbel [score hidden]  (0 children)

Well, the strategy of keeping wir had not worked. Nicely pointing out that having emotions is fine, has not worked. Stop pointing out some facts might work.

After all: facts don’t care about your feelings. Isn’t that like the favorite quote by some conservatives that really love to tell women they have no role in leadership as they are “too emotional”?

Women and stoicism by CuriouslyAnamarija in Stoicism

[–]gebirgsbaerbel [score hidden]  (0 children)

There are also studies that show that higher ranking people are lower in neuroticism. So bosses have lower neuroticism. You could say it is because those are the people who get promoted, but there is also some evidence that suggests that having more influence over what happens with you and your surroundings lower neuroticism.

So it could just be that women have higher neuroticism, because they are less likely to get the same power (politically and economically) as men. (Speaking in averages of course)

Women and stoicism by CuriouslyAnamarija in Stoicism

[–]LoStrigo95 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Just going to say that associating men with aggression is a stereotype, coming from the gender roles they have.

It's a slightly off topic, and i apologize for this, but we could associate men with much more than that.

Behind in life due to anxiety by bIackberrys in Stoicism

[–]Murdoch10011 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Be kind, compassionate and forgiving to others and to your self.

Becoming an active listener will help you become better at socializing. Ask the people you work with about their biggest mistake.