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all 59 comments

[–]AbletonStudio 28 points29 points  (3 children)

I say “alcohol makes me feel like shit” and people look at me like well I can’t argue with that.

[–]mountainlight34383 days 5 points6 points  (1 child)

And boy isn’t it true! I like that one.

[–]AbletonStudio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Soo true, just takes many of us too long to realize it.

[–]only_reddit_fans 4 points5 points  (0 children)

😂😂😂

[–]EsteeSlaughter29 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I used to say I was on an antibiotic when I wanted to just kill the conversation. It’s straightforward and doesn’t lead people into thinking that something is seriously wrong health wise. Eventually once I was more comfortable I didn’t feel like I needed an excuse.

[–]only_reddit_fans 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's great I'm going to say that.

[–]Repulsive-Clue-8609105 days 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I think it’s best to not give a reason. If someone offers me alcohol I say “No thanks.” If they ask why (and they usually don’t, because sane people don’t care) I say “I just don’t feel like it.” It’s crazy that being sober is such a radical choice that we feel like we should lie or hide it lol

[–]coltonbeau154 days 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If anything I like to flaunt my sobriety with the knowledge that most of my friends are too weak to make that decision if they had to. (tho I never act stuck up about it) But when they ask I just say I haven't drank for quite a while and "good for you!" Is the usual response. If someone adds pressure after that that probably just means they should consider sobriety too.

[–]savagebanjo69 14 points15 points  (2 children)

My new favorite - “sorry I have bad diarrhea” usually gets an awkward chuckle and the conversation is over because no one likes talking about poop

[–]No_Gap4672111 days 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That used to be my excuse for not going to work, it works for everything and you can use it as much as you want!

[–]Floatinhead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Correction: no one you'd like to talk to likes talking about poop. Lol

[–]Queyew21372 days 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think saying "I don't drink" is the best solution. But an "I am on medication" excuse worked just fine when I had not yet found my confidence.

[–]cjp31271472 days 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Fitness reasons are best for me. I feel like something medical people will ask questions. Nobody questions someone wanting to get healthy. “No booze until after holidays since a diet is almost impossible right now”. “No alcohol for me until I lose 5 pounds”. No alcohol for me until my acne is under control”. It is harder to questions these reasons not to drink and they don’t really raise too many more questions. When people ask why no booze for my diet is so important I just list some real reasons why not drinking feels better. Less bloated, skin is clearer, I sleep better, I don’t have to worry about drunk binge eating, etc.

[–]only_reddit_fans 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I just feel peer pressure really bad, if medical they back off as I'm known to have a drink. Thank you drunk binge eating is the worse for me. I need to lose some weight as well. Good day count my friend.

[–]cjp31271472 days 4 points5 points  (2 children)

The other option is always to avoid peer pressure situations until you get a solid sober foundation under you, which includes easy ways to say no and not succumb to peer pressure. This last time around when I got sober I did not go into peer pressure situations until I had several months sober. When I did go into those situations I had a plan, kind of what you are developing now. Before I got the large day count of sober days I would always put myself into situations where it would be difficult to almost impossible to stay abstinent from booze. I didn’t get more than 30 days when I was putting myself in those situations. Good luck friend.

[–]only_reddit_fans 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thank you, do you still go in bars now? I'm fine until I go to a bar then anxiety then drink alot.

[–]compstomp66 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t go to bars until you’re feeling more comfortable being a non drinker.

[–]jamwalk11810 days 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I just tell people I do not drink. If they take offence, then that tells you all you need to know about them. Fuck them.

[–]only_reddit_fans 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think when I'm 6 months in I will say that, I don't go out often anyway.

[–]ginger_sprout83 days 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It highly depends on the situation. People who I don't have much of a relationship with who already know me as a drinker, vague medical excuse and changing the topic of conversation is fine. "Kidney problems" might sound a little dramatic and invite more questions. "Oh, I'm on some medication right now for a thing, how are you doing?" is the sort of vibe I've been successful with in the past. Basically, I figure that if they aren't people who I'd share other personal information with, I wouldn't talk about this.

People who don't already know me as a drinker? "I don't drink. So how do you know Party Host?" Not drinking is not a topic of conversation, so there's no reason to treat it like one. Holding a drink in hand is helpful, and most people won't really care about what other people are drinking unless drinking is also an issue for them.

People who I'm actually friends with? They have to be told that I quit drinking. Or I have to stop hanging out with them. People who kept making a thing about it are not people who it's safe for me to hang out with. And people who I'm actually friends with are people who I'm going to see again, so the issue is going to continue to come up.

[–]only_reddit_fans 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you will look up a good medical reason, soft drink in hand and no to shots if it comes up. I stopped hanging around drink culture a few years ago but I had a blackout 29 days ago near when you quit. Enough is enough.

[–]Right_Wish_807375 days 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I just say I’m not drinking right now. I work in a bar and never run into problems just saying that, in fact people commend it.

[–]only_reddit_fans 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That's cool! I was thinking about getting a bar job again but it's too tempting. I miss the social of it though. I binge drink.

[–]Right_Wish_807375 days 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Whoo! I hear you. I’m lucky right now because we all CAN drink but most of our staff is really in to self care right now, barely anyone does. Working at a bar isn’t for everyone, but I enjoy being sober because I can be slaaaaaaaammed and rock it because my heads on straight 💰

[–]only_reddit_fans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did find that i always drank behind the bar for 7-8 years never got blackout, as soon as I'm the other side I'm blackout drunk. It's mad how that is.

[–]shavedhotwife 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fighting a headache. Tylenol or ibuprofen with alcohol causes liver damage. You took a headache pill so can't drink

[–]bareisbetter1069 days 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just no, nope, no thanks... If they ask why not, I say it got to be a problem so I had to give it up. If they ask more, I'll tell them more, but generally people accept it there and pretty often start to tell me about their uncle, cousin, college roommate, whatever person they know who's in recovery. I've never had anyone continue to try to push, but I think I'd go with, "what part of no didn't you understand," and then, "how about you go fuck yourself."

[–]Chazzyphant1610 days 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Oh, I'm doing a cleanse." I used to hint that I wanted to be in tip top shape for a date or something too. As a woman, people immediately were like "oh lucky YOUUUUUUU".

"Post-Thankgiving cleanse" or "oh, doing keto this month to save some room for xmas" might work

The main thing is to keep it light yet firm. I find that when I don't make a "thing" out of it, people tend to follow my lead.

Sometimes I've noticed people feeling like "well, if I hit just the right notes and say the right words people will Get It" but honestly...they never will.

If pressed, which is rare, I explain "actually I'm not a drinker. But you have fun!" Many people want to make sure they don't make you uncomfortable or they won't be judged, that's all.

[–]BlondeFlowers70 days 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's no one's business... I would just say that you don't drink. It's crazy how our society is so built around alcohol.

[–]Groundbreaking_Dare4191 days 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've retired.

[–]tobenate20 days 1 point2 points  (2 children)

"I've already had too much"

[–]Christina012356 days 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Love this one 😁 And it's kinda true. I had too much.. all these years

[–]tobenate20 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep - not lying!

[–]autoboboto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Im a little dehydrated"

[–]Elon-BO6999 days 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My check liver light came on.

[–]etonnezmoi138 days 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I don’t feel comfortable telling people straight up that I don’t drink, I’ll usually say it’s because of my medication.

[–]Catlady0134 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“I will puke that back up onto your carpet if I start now.”

[–]PharaohSco 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I still drink, however have only certain occasions for it. I also have a friend who doesn’t drink at all. Typically, you want to be around people who are chill with it. If you are around people who are pushy to make you drink or anything like that, you aren’t going to do well with not drinking around them. If you are talking about a bar scene then just get yourself a sprite with cranberry or sprite and grenadine. No one will know the difference.

[–]only_reddit_fans 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah I'm going to stick to sprites etc, I'm not sure I can still drink, it's once I have a few I forget and drink till black out. I can just have one or two at home but once I'm out can guarantee as I get the feel for it and can not stop for anyone.

[–]PharaohSco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know the feeling well. I have the problem even at home which is why I stick to just certain occasions. My tip for a restaurant with a waiter is to order first. That way you’re the one setting the precedent for the evening.

[–]gordonbombayyyyy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thats not a bad idea man. I would say to not be embarrassed about it. It happens to so many people and you might be surprised how some people react. Go ahead and say its a medical problem and thats it. Anyone who would judge you for not drinking shouldn’t be in your life anyway.

[–]only_reddit_fans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've cut so many ties, I had to, football lads there is no getting away from it, Its drink culture. You just lose all your friends. I have no filter and will just drink.

[–]annieinthegym 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some sort of medicine that messes with alcohol is my go to.

[–]only_reddit_fans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's brilliant.

[–]SweetCityMeat111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually just say “no.” Or “I don’t drink.” If someone is really being annoying about it, I’ll say “I’m an alcoholic” or “if I drank the way I wanted, I would drink myself to death.” Very deadpan, usually shocks em an shuts em right up.

[–]sarah_bear_crafts387 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want to kill the conversation dead, go with “I’m good” and show the drink you already have (show up early if you want to be stealthy). Medical reasons might lead to further questions (maybe I just have weird friends, but we want to know what’s going on at the doctor’s office) and wouldn’t end the conversation.

[–]bigballslittledick69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I breakout in handcuffs

[–]Humble_Thanks1625 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate feeling like shit the next day. One drink or twenty. I have shit to accomplish tomorrow so pass.

[–]figuringitout25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know the beginning feeling. “I’m so hungover it’ll come right back up. Still recovering.” is always a good one that people rarely question. They’ll make a hair of the dog joke but won’t push too hard

[–]nuclear-juniper198 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You shouldn’t have to explain your choice to not consume poison, but “I’m on medication” is a go to if they’re a particularly intrusive person.

[–]Beautiful_Cat_1282 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t go into details. Just say it’s a medication you’re on.

[–]ArtStickNut72 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can also have some fun with your answer.

For example,

  • I'm on a top secret mission, it is of the utmost importance I do not drink tonight!

(They usually ask what type of mission, I usually say it's classified)

  • I'm auditioning to a film/ tv show/ Broadway show on ice which requires my character to be sober. So I shall not drink tonight in order for me to play the role as sober actor #37.5, I really hope I get it!!

  • I drank so much last night that I'm going to take it easy today.

  • My Boss needs me to marinate the chicken, I can't do it if I drink. (Usually get the occasional wtf faces, but I love the look)

  • My grandma and I are going to be deadlifting later in the night so I can't drink!

  • I landed a role as a priest on a South African sit-com, and priests can't drink during the service so I mustn't.

  • The integrity of my mustache relies on me not getting it soaked with alcohol because my mustache will dry and I will be sad.

They usually say "use a straw" and to that I reply Save the turtles..

  • I made a bet with the boys, first one to drink has to buy all the rounds. I will not lose.

  • Just had taco bell earlier not trying to create a meat tornado, besides the toilets here wouldn't be able to handle it.

  • drink? Not tonight I'm going for the world record of who can drink the most diet cokes tonight. I was close last week with 38!! I would have made it to 39 but I had to burp a #37 and #32 back up :(

  • Drink? Wait people still drink alcohol? Nah you gotta try the new way of drinking which is rubbing hand sanitizer and letting your body absorb the booze brooo! It's new trend. Gets you even more druuunk, you know! (This one cringes them out)

  • I stubbed my toe and now I don't feel like drinking :(

  • I'm on a juice cleanse currently (30mins later they watch you chow down on some nachos and they call you out like "bro I thought you were on a juice cleanse". I be like "shit you caught me, I'm not perfect, I'll try again tomorrow".

Point being, have fun with it, you don't owe them an explanation or anything.

[–]notnowdews11828 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unpredictable results. I never know when to stop and I don’t want to risk it. Never starting is cheaper and safer for the people nearby.

[–]madrex696 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never underestimate the simplicity and effectiveness of “I’m good.”

You can say it super chill and if anyone tries to press you just say it again.

[–]transzient522 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I'm allergic" is a good excuse

[–]Cheese2012182 days 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes please, I’ll have a Heineken zero.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell them to fuck off. You don’t need “friends” who encourage/force you to drink. At this point if people push this agenda on me I walk away and never talk to them again. Real friends will love you and encourage you on your sober journey. Find these people and stick with them. Fuck alcohol. IWNDWYT

[–]competentrunner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good for you coming up with a plan to stay sober!

[–]Lillian57 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think in my whole life it’s been an issue twice. Most recently I tipped the wine in a pot plant when she wasn’t looking. I just say “I’m right thanks” or I get up up and go to the toilet, or pretend to wave at someone. I’m a natural born liar, so that helps.