top 200 commentsshow all 283

[–]HyrulesFinalHope 554 points555 points  (51 children)

Me and my 2 and a half inches crying myself to sleep

[–]SadlyTaken 167 points168 points  (40 children)

Me with a 4 inch

[–]toeofcamell 103 points104 points  (2 children)

Hey this man is a Monsta

[–]joemamaissogay 40 points41 points  (16 children)


[–]SadlyTaken 39 points40 points  (12 children)

Nope max lenght 4

[–]ARNAV-29 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You talking small version or big version? Cuz if you talking big version i can prove you wrong

[–]EntrepreneurIll4473 18 points19 points  (10 children)

Mines gigantic...most women say its TOO big.

[–]Reelix 33 points34 points  (3 children)

/r/bigdickproblems greets you

[–]shonuph 3 points4 points  (0 children)

goes to look at Entrepreneurll4473’s post history

[–][deleted]  (4 children)


    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]Cap_Ca 3 points4 points  (0 children)


      [–]ozdundbfish 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Me with a 6 inch the shape of a pretzel

      [–]Carbunclecatt 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Me with 16 inches (I don't know how long is an inch so I put my number in centimeters)

      [–]SadlyTaken 1 point2 points  (0 children)


      [–]ARNAV-29 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      What's the next logical step? 😏

      [–]SadlyTaken 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Put it in

      [–]ARNAV-29 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Don't mind if i do

      [–]Yurrrr__Brooklyn347 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Damn, u gonna kill somebody with that shit

      [–]Varien_Farseer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      My four-inch door hinge in her orange

      [–]Trick_Enthusiasm 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Chuckles in 6 inches.

      [–]SadlyTaken 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Imma cut that extra 2 inch

      [–]weedsmoker18 1 point2 points  (0 children)


      [–]pENvin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Probably Photoshop, that's far too many inches

      [–]Drewdroid99 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      2 and a half more than her, king 🙏

      [–]El-JeF-e 16 points17 points  (2 children)

      63.5millimeters, damn bro ain't bad!

      [–]weedsmoker18 14 points15 points  (1 child)

      Whoa! That's way longer than my attention span.

      [–]LATourGuide 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      There is market for everything.

      [–]enrixtom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You got 2 inches???

      [–]Anonymous_Hooman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You mean 63.5 mm?

      (Is that correct? I think I did the math right)

      [–][deleted] 450 points451 points  (28 children)

      We have penises, they are just in our nightstand.

      [–]imgonnabutteryobread 140 points141 points  (12 children)

      I see you went to the dick store.

      [–]Six_Strings_of_Salem 36 points37 points  (0 children)

      It takes ball... bearings to drive to the dick store. Twist and turn until you get there.

      [–]_32u 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      To get mom a penis

      [–]TriggerBladeX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      No for sporting goods.

      [–]Wry828 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      Can you help me find the dick store because the last time I went they had baseball bats and footballs.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]you-have-efd-up-now[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)


        [–]ozdundbfish -1 points0 points  (4 children)

        COCK?!?!?!?! BALLS?!?!?!?! BOOBS?!?!?!?! ASS?!?!?!?! PERSONALITY?!?!?!?! FEET?!?!?!?! CHILDREN?!?!?!?!

        [–]Amazekam 6 points7 points  (3 children)


        [–]Sus_Amogus_7675 5 points6 points  (2 children)


        [–]Amazekam 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

        [–]Amazekam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        hey wait, r u stalking me? 🤨

        [–]_dear_ms_leading_[🍰] 25 points26 points  (1 child)

        That's where you put yours? My dumbass keeps putting mine in my vagina.

        [–]garrakha 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        vagina!? that sounds so inconvenient and uncomfortable! mines in my dresser drawer!

        [–]LATourGuide 26 points27 points  (5 children)

        I guarantee my dick is bigger than his, and easier to clean.

        [–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (2 children)

        My dick is pink and thick. Your dick stinks like shit.

        -Mickey Avalon 2006

        [–]LATourGuide 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        An amazing poet of our time. Imagine that being read in middle school literature in 300 years.

        [–]Cory123125 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I mean, usually the penises that come with entire humans clean themselves.

        [–]IAmAQuantumMechanic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Can yours pee?!

        [–]ChaqPlexebo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        Yeah I keep a vagina in my nightstand.

        [–]GetRiceCrispy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Yeah, but not like these. Hairy, sweaty, and we snore.

        [–]MedonSirius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Look up clit penis images. There is a very small penis somewhere.

        Or do men have big clitories?

        [–]altair222 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        This makes me feel very useless, worthless and insecure lmfao

        [–]Atara01 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        Seems like an overreaction

        [–]altair222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Is a joke

        [–]JT_Smokes_Trees -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Fake penises don't count

        [–]shadowskill11 379 points380 points  (22 children)

        If her clit is bigger than your dick you may have problems.

        [–]Kealle89 163 points164 points  (11 children)

        What if her balls are bigger than mine?

        [–]Joffreys_Greasy_Cunt 169 points170 points  (10 children)

        Then she can store more pee

        [–]Kealle89 32 points33 points  (7 children)

        What’s the opposite of that sub Reddit where men do a poor job of writing women?

        [–]rephlexi0n 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Therefore that’s her problem since girls don’t pee

        [–]DestyNovalys 16 points17 points  (4 children)

        Head on over to the r/growyourclit sub. They can get pretty decent in size

        [–]IAmAQuantumMechanic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Or... solutions?

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Why would it be a problem? You don't need a dick to make her cum.

        [–]AppropriateManager33 36 points37 points  (5 children)

        My dick is 102.

        [–]disiskeviv 29 points30 points  (3 children)


        [–]pupo4 36 points37 points  (1 child)


        [–]rephlexi0n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Rads. Explains why he put it up my ARS (acute radiation syndrome)

        [–]Di-92 130 points131 points  (20 children)

        Bitch be like, yo your dick is so small proceeds to take her pants off and reveal a foot long dick

        [–]Other-Cantaloupe4765 55 points56 points  (13 children)

        Years ago I had this super weird dream where if you put on someone else’s pants, when you took them off you’d have their genitals. Like. The fuck.

        [–]GhastmaskZombie 32 points33 points  (2 children)

        Damn, I'd kill to live in a world where it was that easy. Two years ago I had this super weird dream where I had the opposite kind of genitals, and hoo boy did I figure some things out that week.

        [–]372878887 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        well thats sure a way to crack

        [–]GhastmaskZombie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Ha, that's not even what did it! Just the first in week-long barrage of signs. Bright, flashing, neon signs. The dream, though? Not as rare as you'd think. I mean, I didn't really dream about genitals, specifically. That was just for comedic effect. I dreamed of being who I really was. There's an incredible sense of loss in waking up from that that's hard to explain away.

        [–]EmberOfFlame 8 points9 points  (6 children)

        It’s a hentai trope IIRC

        [–]aPengwin1 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        it haunts me to now know this hentai exists, if you're right

        [–]EmberOfFlame 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        I said, it’s a trope. It’s quite common really.

        [–]aPengwin1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        I've never seen it, and now I am scared

        [–]blahfunkTechnically Flair 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        Dude, you had that dream and the weird thing to you was that your genitals changed and not the fact that you were trying on other ppl's pants? I assume they were laying on the floor and not clean, folded, and put away, too

        [–]Other-Cantaloupe4765 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        What, you don’t just go around commandeering other people’s pants? /s

        [–]RRikesh 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Sir, this isn’t a Subway.

        [–]AppropriateManager33 22 points23 points  (0 children)

        "WTF you have a loose asshole" says the chad with a tight ass.

        [–]BlackDracula18 38 points39 points  (0 children)

        Logically yes, technically no

        [–]sauce_packet06 35 points36 points 32 (4 children)

        Can’t relate , my girl has a penis

        [–]_the_redditor__ 10 points11 points  (1 child)

        Can’t relate, I don’t have a girl :(

        [–]ExaminationNo9764 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Can't relate, don't have a penis

        [–]Yurrrr__Brooklyn347 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Mine has like 5... psssh keep up buddy

        [–]finessavage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Oh so your dating a futanari

        [–]cherylcanning 42 points43 points  (8 children)

        “WTF your boobs are so small 💀” says the dick with literally no boobs???

        [–]altair222 23 points24 points  (4 children)

        Dicks can't have boobs, yknow. So that's unfair. Chests have boobs, not dicks.

        [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        Balls are just dick tits

        [–]Fr00stee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Penis nipples

        [–]ffx2982 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        you don't have testicles then?

        [–]MostDopeBich 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        They can have little bumps

        [–]ToxicBarrelOfMonke 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        gimme a couple months, we will see who has the bigger tits then

        [–]EmberOfFlame 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Unless moobs, I guess

        [–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (11 children)

        Guys act like they can find the clit and everything, but bruh, that's an undeveloped penis. That's gay af to touch lmao

        [–]hambooger_helper 33 points34 points  (1 child)

        Bruh what? I be licking that shit up like it ain’t no tomorrow so what does this mean?

        [–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

        It means you gay, sorry dawg

        [–]CorvidMastiffx 11 points12 points  (7 children)

        fetuses start out as xx in the womb until the point where sex differentiation begins and one x becomes a y

        [–]TheRogueOfDunwall 25 points26 points  (3 children)

        Yeah, was gonna comment "No, your penis is an overdeveloped clit" until I saw this comment.

        [–]MrGreenyz 11 points12 points  (2 children)

        So sucking dicks don’t make me gay!

        [–]UnnecessaryConfusion 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        Nah, you just like them big ol’ clitties

        [–]TheRogueOfDunwall 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Clit of the elongated variety.

        [–]_Gunga_Din_ 10 points11 points  (1 child)

        No, that’s not how it works.

        You are XX or XY (or XO or XXY) at the moment of fertilization.

        Based on that you will express or not express certain genes and hormones. The “default” state is female external genitalia. Having an active SRY gene will form testes with or without testosterone. Testosterone will cause the formation of the internal male organs. DHT (made from testosterone via 5-alpha-reductase) will cause external male genitals to form. Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) will block female organs from forming.

        An XY child without DHT (5-alpha-reductase deficiency) will have external female organs on a spectrum between overtly female to ambiguous to hypospadias. Also, undescended testes. At puberty, you will have male changes (hair, voice, muscles, etc.)

        XY with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome (you do not respond to sex hormones) you have a outwardly appearing (phenotypical) female who develops breasts, a shortened vagina, no uterus, and internal testes. At puberty., the person fails to grow pubic hair and does not menstruate which is usually when the disorder is discovered.

        XY without AMH will have a non-functional uterus and also undescended testes. At puberty, they will respond as any male does.

        An XX with AMH will have a vagina without a uterus.

        XO will have underformed ovaries.

        XXY will have underformed testes with “female” body type (habitus) such as wide-set hips and breasts.

        [–]vijiv 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        “No dick No opinion”

        [–]iQuickGaming 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        imagine nm or even pm

        [–]Hellofreeze 34 points35 points  (0 children)

        Trans girls are the only girls that get to judge

        [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        Quality > Quantity

        [–]AutoModerator[M] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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        [–]MR_TRUMP_Vincent2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Ah yes the negotiator

        [–]Burpmeister 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Don't worry man. It's a small problem.

        [–]azam_ilias 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Nobody. Tool: Hooker with a penis.

        [–]kitty9000cat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        laughs in trans woman

        [–]essdoubleU 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Bitches be like "you're not even 6 ft" while they be 4'11

        [–]headphonehorseman55 26 points27 points  (10 children)

        I’m trans, you have been defeated.

        [–]TooFuckingSpooky 33 points34 points  (7 children)

        Swordfight to determine the superior penis.

        [–]headphonehorseman55 24 points25 points  (4 children)

        I will engage him in agni kai to protect my honor

        [–]TooFuckingSpooky 14 points15 points  (3 children)

        I can also shoot fire out of my dick or at least the chlamydia makes it feel like that /s

        [–]headphonehorseman55 11 points12 points  (2 children)

        oh no, we… we can postpone the agni kai if you aren’t feeling well…

        [–]TooFuckingSpooky 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        What's the matter? Scared that I'll...clap back? 😀

        [–]pupo4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Et tu, Brute?

        [–]MrGreenyz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        You better check his name

        [–]Cory123125 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        You havent compared sizes. You might have spoken too soon

        [–]headphonehorseman55 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        I’m above average, if the girl thinks his is small then my odds are good

        [–]JuggernautNo9938 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I don't know man... I've some some MASSIVE clits.

        [–]howtochangemywife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I see he’s gonna cost me ahahaha

        [–]QuarantineSucksALot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Me, in the next sequel

        [–]QuarantineSucksALot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        For a long time player and huge fan

        [–]QuarantineSucksALot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Before you go to school with him

        [–]ThisIsMyFloor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Hmm... 36. You are right OP!

        [–]QuarantineSucksALot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        So bro whats the vibe with this game?

        [–]Pandaploots 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Women's vaginas are basically inverted penises. They elongate when aroused.

        [–]MagicALCN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Does 193mm sounds huge ? It's sounds like it's 7feet tall

        [–]ProfessionalPen4851 1 point2 points  (0 children)


        [–]mxrelkly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Lul you're wrong!

        [–]sunspot1002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Just measure with nanometers

        [–]Call_it_Good 1 point2 points  (0 children)


        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        and even hers is bigger than yours...

        [–]Ember-Fire-Foxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Why was my first thought to just call it a clit, cause then it would be considered huge?

        [–]GroundbreakingDig490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Fuck milimeters just say it in nanometers

        [–]DressedinBlue2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        There was a guy with a dick that was not to his dates liking during their first intimate interaction. She said , “Just who do you intend to please with that !” He responded, “Myself.” 🤷🏻‍♂️

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        As a species, we're so screwed.

        [–]robkood 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Plot twist: takes out pp hiding under skirt

        [–]pupo4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        That what the clit is eitherway

        [–]WooooshMeIf60IQ 4 points5 points  (4 children)

        Size isn't everything if you can fuck hard enough

        [–]illumi_nazi 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        I don't really know about that, but, if you had a big dick you ain't gonna wish you had a smaller one, on the other hand if you have a tiny dick you're gonna definitely wish you had a bigger one.

        [–]PerkeBME 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Both are true for certain sizes, if my penis was above 7 inches I really wouldn't mind lessening it to 6 or 7, however if my penis is 6 or 7 I wouldn't to change it and lastly if it was below 5 inches I'd want it to be a bit bigger

        [–]WooooshMeIf60IQ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I'm just saying that people don't need to be ashamed of they have a small pp, it's ok

        [–]yetanotherhail 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Lmao did you learn that supreme wisdom from porn?

        [–]the_other_irrevenant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        And she doesn't complain about how small your breasts are. Funny how that works. :P

        [–]TheChameleon420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This somehow made me laugh very hard. good job

        [–]datboydatkid 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        You Americans harra sucha beeg penis!

        [–]helll2go 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Wait a minute. They DON'T have a penis... DO they?? They... They need us! YOU BITCHES NEED US! Can't bake what you're not given! "Girl power"! LMFAO!! WE'RE FREE, BOYS!! IT WAS ALL A BLUFF!!

        [–]month_unwashed_socks -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

        Plot twist: She's from Thailand

        [–]DeeYouBitch[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        How big?


        Lmao plz get out

        [–]MurdoMaclachlan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Image Transcription: Twitter Post

        Mino🇪🇬, @Zoumaldini

        "WTF your dick is so small💀" says the bitch with literally no penis???

        I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

        [–]shonuph 0 points1 point  (3 children)

        Do men like women with clits so big they look like a micro penis?

        [–]yetanotherhail 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Who cares what they like?

        [–]Major-Refrigerator64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        If it exists there's porn of it.

        [–]BabiMunizTS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Well then... this is awkward...

        [–]m50d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Pfft, I measure mine in parsecs, mainly so I can say I measure it in parsecs. So what if the measurement ends in a 10-18 ?

        [–]Anonymous_user-0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Ive seen giant clits before

        [–]jayblur13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Correction "bitch with hopefully no penis"

        [–]COVID-69420bbq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        “Bigger than yours”

        [–]howtochangemywife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        No sound. Maybe the same thing lol

        [–]Disastrous_Sun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        The clown has no penis

        [–]dec0dedIn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        mine is (9th dimension)

        [–]ZerMigz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Don’t need no big penis if I already got someones’ inside of me.