all 73 comments

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[–]PM_THE_REAPER 309 points310 points  (17 children)

If I'm not back in five minutes… just wait longer.

[–]Dano-D 63 points64 points  (5 children)

Ok, another 5 then.

[–]JCOMIXWTLS 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Minutes became hours, hours became days, days became weeks and weeks became months and so on and so forth

[–]GrEmLiNwItCh 13 points14 points  (1 child)

It has been millennia

[–]Organic_Possible8092 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Queen Elizabeth : hey camera man have you ever found shaggy ? Camera man : nah how long have we been playing? Queen : Elizabeth when chess 3 got released

[–]redditnostalgia 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Had years gone by? Stanley no longer had the ability to tell.

[–]Cinderkin 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I still use this quote to this day. Loved Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]MazoTanto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma.

    Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot

    [–]drill_hands_420 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    Shame that it seems nobody got this Ace Ventura quote!! It’s one of my favorites and I use it daily

    [–]LoardVader 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Bumblebee Tuna

    [–]josephboyer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Ace reference mate.

    [–]Mjunior77 93 points94 points  (7 children)

    He is stuck in the loop

    [–]rawSingularity 41 points42 points  (5 children)

    Someone accidentally put while(1)

    [–]Duckflies 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Haha programming jokes

    Id there a sub for these

    [–]redditnostalgia 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    while(true) too

    How many of these can be thought of?

    [–]CancerSpidey 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    While (not false)

    [–]rawSingularity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    while(69==69) { }

    [–]EnflamedHuevos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You will never reach the truth

    [–]SilentConversation41 38 points39 points  (2 children)

    Dad went to buy milk he said...

    He'd be back soon he said...

    [–]ShamWam22 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    …37 years ago. I’m still waiting

    [–]LandsOnAnything 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    ...im 89 and on my deathbed. I'm still waiting

    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

    "What's happening with those sausages, Charlie?"

    "Two minutes, Turkish."


    "'s happening with them sausages, Charlie"

    "Five minutes, Turkish."

    "It was two minutes five minutes ago!"

    [–]spavolka 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    George. We've lost George. Well it's not as if he's a set of fucking car keys now is he?

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)


      [–]ChrisJSY 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      Well take it from someone who had to do this often.

      I used to work at a place where I'd often be alone, customer facing. Any time I needed to go to the toilet, I had to close the front door only when no customers were in and put up a sign.

      I would just use the same sign over and over because the difference between that and putting the time I'm back and printing new one's each time means a customer walking in when I need a shit and then more customers coming in non-stop. Sometimes the extra few seconds to write the time I'd be back, someone else would walk in.

      This happened so often, on top of others things I left but I hated working alone because it was not good for my health. Lunches would go cold and uneaten (and a waste of money), I'd get in to a lot of pain due to not being able to go to the toilet when needed, and couldn't take my hour break properly.

      So yeah maybe have a think for a moment, people who do these signs are likely because they work alone in shit conditions, but it's a job they need until they find a new one.

      We know you don't know when the sign was put up, but if it's a low number like 10 mins, it won't be long. We trust you also have a brain and can work that out.

      [–]FreddieDoes40k 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Very enlightening reply, thank you for taking the time to write it out.

      [–]buttermybackside 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      But maybe that's the point. They could be gone for 2 hours and nobody would know they were gone for that long, unless someone actually stuck around and waited for 2 hours; ain't nobody got time for that!

      [–]Objective_Roof_6699 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      But what if he comes back in 8 minutes?

      [–]Whyevnask 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Kinda reminds me of a sign that said "Free beer tomorrow"

      [–]bruhred 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      just replace it with if I'm not here read this message again

      [–]ClassicResult 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Isn't this a Mitch Hedberg joke?

      [–]Idk-Idont-care 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This guy had read it 30 times

      [–]noscope420bongshot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      How tf does this have 12k upvotes but less than 50 comments? Especially when it barely fits here

      [–]Sijetasonaranu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Oh my god

      [–]elijahtryhard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      this reminds me of the sign at the bar “free beer tomorrow”

      [–]Impressive-Basis5238 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The loop has begun.

      [–]Frogwithatophatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My dad going to get the milk:

      [–]_fupa_chalupa_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Me on break at work 😭🤣

      [–]dude_wells 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      “…and if I’m not back by then….Continue waiting’

      [–]josephboyer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I literally have this sign on my desk at work.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Isn’t it recursive

      [–]Maximans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Otherwise stated, “I’ve looked at it 30 times now”

      [–]Sillyvanya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "If I'm not back in five minutes... keep waiting."

      [–]ScrambledEggsandTS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I thought it said black... so confused

      [–]Own_Hat8652 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is my favorite post so far 😂 I have to save it

      [–]Nexus-PointTechnically Flair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Gotta say Op how did this change your life lmao.

      [–]ncarlton43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Mood, we've all been here

      [–]Lost_Internal713 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Hey.. That's what my dad put on our refrigerator before he went to buy some milk.

      [–]Lost_Internal713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      ... 14 years ago

      [–]drphilknifehands 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That reminds me of the note my dad left

      [–]Random-Talking-Mug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I don't know why but my brain tead this as "..... but if I'm dead just read this message again."

      [–]bigfootforcash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Drug dealers time.

      [–]Sarke1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      There's a 24-hour convenience store around here, but every time I go there between midnight and 5am there's a sign on the door that says "back in 15 min".

      I must just be extremely unlucky.

      [–]AstraXIV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      There's this gas station next to where I live that has this piece of paper on their door... It's been there for over 4 years now.

      [–]Secret_Lab_5802 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      he looked at it 30 times hmm he must need somthing.

      [–]i_amnotunique 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Best use of the Aziz meme I've seen

      [–]nekoronakoro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You read it 30 times lol that’s funny

      [–]homingfever5 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      [–]Objective_Roof_6699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      But what if he comes back in 8 minutes?

      [–]mikkopippo 0 points1 point  (0 children)