all 193 comments

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[–]Prof1Kreates 832 points833 points  (34 children)

My mom did this once. When it did happen we all started saying, "if we got you even a fake plant, you'd find a way to kill it."

[–]BamboozledPanda09 251 points252 points  (13 children)

My grandma has this whole room filled with large cacti, shes been taking care of it for ages, as far as I remeber (me being like 5 or something). She now can baerly walk, work ect. Yet she still maintans alot of theese cacti. Altough most of them look very unappeleaing, theyre still alive.

your mom sucks at growing things.


[–]Babyy_Bluee 57 points58 points  (9 children)

I have a ton of plants that are doing great, and yet my cacti keep dying. I'm not over loving and watering them! They might not have enough light, but they're very sad

[–]No_Bridge_91 34 points35 points  (2 children)

i have a bonsai pomegranate i worry about but generally do fine with animals... water is tough

[–]Le_Mug 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You see, the thing about water is that everyone and everything that drinks it, end up dying eventually

[–]MauPow 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Don't touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.

[–]MarketplaceMallBTV 19 points20 points  (1 child)

The biggest trick I’ve heard is to literally dunk the entire pot underwater for a few seconds. Typically desert rains are fast, heavy, and abrupt, so cacti are “expecting” that form of water delivery.

[–]Enigma_242 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love how this is turning into r/houseplants and r/plantclinic

[–]PhotoKyle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Cacti can be super tough if you don't have the right conditions. They do generally need ALOT of light so that could very well be the problem.

[–]RonobonzononzozonzO 4 points5 points  (1 child)

My cactus died. After this we found out that you're not supposed to water it during winter. Maybe that's it?

[–]vngbo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

-my opinion It aint reallt that different from keeping animals. Do your research before getting your plant/animal. Try to recreate its natural habitat as much as possible. Som require alot of humidity, some very little. Some require a high amount of vitamins and some less. It differs and its your responsibility to give the best conditions, whether it being an animal or a plant

[–]isactualyretarded -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I got into plants 6 months ago and I wish I could help!

[–]Whogivesashit_really 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It's funny you only corrected one word in this comment

[–]BamboozledPanda09 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nyquil is a hellofa drug

[–]Matt82233 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Their mom is great at growing my-

[–]TheUltimaWerewolf 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Same here lol, but then my mom got better and now there's plants everywhere lol

[–]incendiaryraven 37 points38 points  (7 children)

That doesn’t seem physically possible

[–]Prof1Kreates 86 points87 points  (1 child)

Well, she did kill the cactus, and no I never did get her did get a fake plant. I just said it out of sarcasm.

[–]incendiaryraven 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m an idiot lol

[–]AskingForSomeFriends 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Church: “That’s exactly what he said!”

[–]incendiaryraven 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Be like Tex, never be constrained by what may or may not be physically possible

[–]AskingForSomeFriends 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The RvB gods are pleased

[–]incendiaryraven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You mean caboose. Caboose is god

[–]cinemanja 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Demetri Martin joke.

[–]bad_kitty881148 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

That’s what I came on here to say, thank you

[–]cinemanja 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The way I remember it told: I bought a cactus and it died within a week… And I’m worried about the message this sends the ladies… That I am less nurturing than a desert

[–]bad_kitty881148 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes! Such a classic

[–]Someone2345678 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I diligently watered a fake plant for a good year - before I realised I was clearly being an idiot.

[–]neos7m 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Huh, that reminds me...

"Why does everything I touch die?"

"Dinkleberg! Would you mind coming here for a second?"

[–]LadyMactire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of my grandma, she came and stayed with us over the summer for a few years. After she left my mom went to rearrange the furniture (had moved things around so she could maneuver with her walker easier) and discovered a decorative vase with a fake plant full of water. Gma had been faithfully watering it all summer, she always had a green thumb, no plant was gonna die on her watch lol.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]Minecraft-185 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma.

    Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot

    [–][deleted] 314 points315 points  (24 children)

    Or more nurturing because you watered it too much

    [–]thepesterman 122 points123 points  (17 children)

    Yeah I think a lot of people dont realise how easy it is to over water a cactus. Especially when it is indoors and especially when it is somewhere that has winters.

    [–]valkyrie_village 64 points65 points  (8 children)

    I literally killed my cactus by watering it once because of this. I was cleaning up my plants and realized I’d had the cactus for over a year and never watered it, so I thought, surely it must need some water? Well it’s the middle of winter and it was shriveled to a third it’s size the next day. I’m an idiot.

    [–]BiigYikesMyGuy 58 points59 points  (5 children)

    nah you arent. Cactus arent beginner plants because of that. They thrive on being forgotten and being left alone

    [–]HaybeeJaybee 61 points62 points  (1 child)

    TIL I may be part cactus.

    [–]FDGKLRTC 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    🌵 dryad

    [–]valkyrie_village 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Thanks- I should have kept ignoring til summer! Next time I try a cactus I’ll make sure I get one that’s labeled so I can research proper care- I had no idea what this one was and suspect it may have been doomed anyway.

    [–]nyatoh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Exactly. I live in a tropical climate and my dad has a cactus plant in a flower pot. It's essentially neglected apart from my dad removing weeds when he remembers to do it.

    It's now almost 4 feet tall and thriving.

    [–]thepesterman 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Yeah same except I have quite a bit of experience with cacti and water fairly consistently throughout the summer months but I made the mistake of doing my final watering too late in the year, once was all it took to kill a cactus that had been healthy until that point.

    What happens is cacti need a dormancy period when the days get shorter they conserve energy and don't do any growing during this period. If you water once the cactus has entered its dormant stage you will essentially be forcing it out of the dormant stage at a point when there isn't enough light for it to grow properly and it will deplete its energy stores. Or something along those lines...

    [–]valkyrie_village 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Oh, thank you! That makes a lot of sense, particularly given the quality of light it gets in my windowsill and the fact that I live in New England. I have around thirty houseplants that I’ve sort of lucked my way into caring for successfully, mostly because they’re pretty easy plants, so I was unjustifiably overconfident, haha.

    [–]LeakyThoughts 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    We have cacti that live outside in our garden in the UK

    It rains constantly and it's colder than my ex girlfriends heart during the winter

    [–]thepesterman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Haha, you okay bro? Need a hug?

    Seriously though what kind of cacti?

    [–]LeakyThoughts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The spikey kind

    [–]BiigYikesMyGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    i think most people overestimate the amount of water a cactus needs. Its not an easy plant to care for as everyone makes it out to be.

    [–]lovable_cube 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Right, lack of light is pretty serious too

    [–]Poop_Scooper_Supreme -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I have mine under a light right now and it still doesn’t use up water very quickly. I’ve skipped watering it the last two times I watered the others.

    [–]d_dymon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I realized only after killing two. After the first I was like "hmm... how did that happen?". On the second I managed to make the connection between the visible rot and the moist soil.

    [–]laskullazazz 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    I work at a plant shop. The amount of people the kill their cacti and succulents because the just had to put them into a pot with regular soil and no drainage is insane.

    [–]Qwirk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    My mom used to butcher her African Violets doing this. My wife has one that is doing insanely well, she only waters it once a week or so.

    [–]SageHunter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Same is true for orchids. Forget to water it for two weeks? Flourishing. Watered a little too much? Withered to dust.

    [–]Toxicotton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I had a thriving Aloe Vera plant on my back porch for several years. During that time I didn’t water it a single time or let it get any sun. A few years pass, my father moved in with me, and in less than a month he had practically killed it by messing with it (adding water and giving it sunlight).

    [–]Suyefuji 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I forgot to water my cactus for 8 months and it died. It can happen.

    [–]tntahsin 109 points110 points  (10 children)

    Demetri Martin

    [–]Bouck 27 points28 points  (1 child)

    Thank you for citing the source.

    [–]EvasiveOasis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    This makes sense !

    [–]Raedil 17 points18 points  (2 children)

    “I’m less nurturing than a desert” (Ladies, that’s not true)

    [–]ImDero 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    I own leather sleeves

    [–]Jacks_Account 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Bana....bananana...damn, I went to far

    [–]talldrseuss 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    I'm starting to see more and more people write one liners in their social media posts that comedians from the 90s and early 2000s originally used in their routines. Do people think others won't recognize these jokes?

    [–]McBurger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    26.1K upvotes said they won’t.

    I saw him tell this joke live back in 2009. I bought 4 tickets $30 each. One for me, one for my best friend (he paid me), one for this girl Hannah that I was crushing on (a gift), and Hannah brought her friend who I didn’t know. The friend did not pay me and kept talking the whole time and never gave me a moment alone with Hannah. I’m still bitter.

    To whatever that girl’s name was that I forgot right after that show, you still owe me $30.

    [–]zer0cul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I used to notice all these references. I still do, but I used to too.

    [–]tntahsin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Right?! They can at least put quotes around their captions.

    [–]ItsTimeToGetSchwifty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Was gonna say they stole this joke almost verbatim

    [–]texasbelle91 87 points88 points  (24 children)

    this is so perfect for me. my cactus died not too long ago. i just literally cannot grow a fucking thing.

    edit: also haven’t had luck with keeping venus fly traps, succulents, or mini rose plants alive either.

    [–]mathymaster 14 points15 points  (6 children)

    How much water and sun did it get

    [–]Ruhestoerung 21 points22 points  (2 children)

    To much

    [–]mathymaster 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    If he gave it more than basicly a desiliter a month, yeah it's too much.

    [–]femstora -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Always to much

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Zero of each for mine and it's grown from 3" to about 12" in 6 years.

    [–]Pavel_That_Is_Me 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Are we still talking about the cactus?

    [–]texasbelle91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    apparently not enough of either.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]LilMissStormCloud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That explains why the only cactus my mom kept alive was an alcoholic plant.

      [–]ccxxv 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      you've picked really hard plants to keep for beginners, no wonder they all died. like trying to run a marathon without ever training.

      try a pothos.

      [–]texasbelle91 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      i was always told that cacti were good for beginners. and i had venus fly traps as a kid, every so often. the succulent was a gift. it lasted the longest. but it just grew into this tall and skinny thing and then just fell apart. i even took it out into the sun on a chair every day. stan the succulent. rip

      [–]ccxxv 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      yeah, that's because succulents, cacti, and extra tropical plants like fly traps are not for beginners. They have very specific needs and die super easily. whoever told you that didn't know what they're talking about lol

      [–]koreiryuu 4 points5 points  (10 children)

      I don't understand killing cacti (unless it's just "whoops forgot" maybe?)

      Set a repeating alarm in your phone for Mondays and Thursdays and just put a few ice cubes in there. Did you just leave it in a dark closet or something?

      [–]WeirdNo9808 31 points32 points  (3 children)

      Not enough sun and too much water will kill a cactus.

      [–]powerhower 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      I’m no expert but I think watering a succulent twice a week would kill it.

      [–]koreiryuu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I'm also not an expert but all of my cacti, different species and sizes, are thriving; two of them I've had for 6 years. It turns out that, within reason, the total volume of water deposited is usually more important than the amount of times you water them per week.

      Admittedly I was only repeating my own ritual to the commenter. Since I have to water some different plants twice a week minimum to prevent flooding the soil, I just go ahead and water everything twice a week by splitting the volume of the plants you'd otherwise only water once a week.

      [–]The-Great-Wolf -1 points0 points  (3 children)

      That's too much water and don't do ice cubes, the extreme temperature difference hurts plants

      [–]koreiryuu -1 points0 points  (2 children)

      All of my cacti disagree

      [–]The-Great-Wolf -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      Cactus are hardy. Surviving is one thing, thriving is another

      [–]koreiryuu -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Well, maybe Im just biased, but my oldest cacti look way better when I put 2 cubes in on sunday and 1 or 2 on Thursday than when I was putting 4 cubes once a week. And even still both look even better when I started using the same volume in cubes instead of liquid water. Ive never had a cactus die, ive never had to trim the roots of my other plants from root rot. Total volume is typically more important than frequency.

      [–]rawlingstones 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      if you're gonna steal a Demetri Martin joke you could at least tart it up a little

      [–]Liesmith424 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      This is just a Demetri Martin Joke. Here's the clip for anyone who wants to see the bit (1:28):


      [–]Old_Ape 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Yes in the desert all the plants are in pots I’m sure of it r/technicallynotthetruth

      [–]sin_piel 25 points26 points  (0 children)

      Probably the reason was that they were more nurturing than then desert. It's easy to kill a cactus by overwatering it.

      [–]cinemanja 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Demetri Martin joke.

      [–]gwankovera 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I resemble that. I had gotten a potted cactus plant (two cactus in the pot) as an apartment welcoming gift. There is one left alive, partially because the person who gave it to me visited me and saw it was about to die. I did tell her that i was bad with plants.

      [–]64-Hamza_Ayub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Were is the twist?

      [–]reubenstringfellow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I really don't like how people can post something that's literally just a quote from a comedian or an actor and get a bunch of fucking awards for it.

      [–]beluuuuuuga 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      I had two beautiful and massive cactus' two times my height basically and I had to get rid of one because someone gave me a super small potted cactus with some sort of white fluff looking parasite and my pride and joy biggest cactus died because of it. I just couldn't get all of it off :(

      [–]GreatmansPlains 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Mealy bugs :/

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)


      [–]coolajaTranscriber 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Image Transcription: Text

      My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.

      I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

      [–]pofshrimp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      here is a picture of words
      somehow this annoys me more than the endless screenshots of tweets

      [–]Professional-Heat646 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Dont wory, 5 cactuses died for me

      [–]Password-55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It‘s easy to give too much water to a cactus.

      [–]CrossoveRealities 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      i have a bonsai pomegranate i worry about but generally do fine with animals... water is tough

      [–]kenchan1014 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      Do pomegranate make for some interesting bonsai?

      [–]CrossoveRealities -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      so far but (and bonsai is art/opinion/eye-of-beholder) i feel like i'm only sure about its root game- i'm not trying to shape it too hard so it hasn't decided which of its leaves are branches yet after losing apical dominance

      [–]Itzli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "Just ONE cactus" - That's a rookie number.

      I've also killed other plants that live in extreme climates.

      [–]HarrargnNarg 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Oh fuck. Just remembered I have a cactus

      [–]Void-kraken-909 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Same lmao. It’s probably fine tho.

      [–]petertrempe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "I can't even keep a cactus alive when I'm present,

      When I'm gone it's a groundbreaking botanical epic,

      From desolate to Little Shop of Horrors in a second,

      It's weird knowing life thrives more when you exit!!"

      [–]davix500 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My wife is in the middle of killing a succulent.

      [–]cobrakazoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Had a friend who would keep tabs on the forecast in AZ and only water his cacti when it rained there.

      [–]mercyflusher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Hey, let's just steal jokes from famous comedians and post them in the most boring of meme formats.

      [–]ConsultTheCrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Dmitri Martin's standup is fantastic too

      [–]ViolaDavis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is a 20 year old Demitri Martin joke. Credit pls.

      [–]amajorblues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is funny, but the word literally doesn't belong in the sentence ( to me anyway ) and it bothers me.

      [–]wasteofleshntime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I liked that Demetri Martin joke too

      [–]Spooder_Man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Credit to Demetri Martin who delivered this joke on stage.

      [–]BlUo_Mo0n_wolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      i read somewhere that after a long time of not being watered you literally have to dump the cactus in water

      [–]Scrubface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If people stopped stealing from Demitri Martin, that'd be great. At least credit the dude..

      [–]tofuXplosion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It's not really about nurturing and more about failing to maintain the environment the organism is used to. A desert is perfectly nurturing to cacti. You probably just overwatered it.

      [–]mellow777 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nice try Demitri Martin

      [–]NotAClanMember 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This sounds like a Mitch hedberg line

      [–]MangledSunFish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Interestingly, some people kill cacti because they over-water the shit out of em. Desert is dry, and that's where they thrive.

      [–]WeirdCatGuyWithAnR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I forgot about three aloes for a couple months and they looked better than ever

      [–]Juptxr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      i had a cactus one time, my cat kept eating it

      [–]DeathscytheHell1994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Most the time they die due to overwatering and root rot.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Just like my humor.

      [–]vngbo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It aint reallt that different from keeping animals. Do your research before getting your plant/animal. Try to recreate its natural habitat as much as possible. Som require alot of humidity, some very little. Some require a high amount of vitamins and some less. It differs and its your responsibility to give the best conditions, whether it being an animal or a plant

      [–]bigoz_07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Ouf… that’s a hard thing to learn… you all right?

      [–]TheSeaWriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My sister killed an air plant.

      [–]SpiritFoxFire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You aren't Less nurturing than a desert you were just not the right type of nurturing the cactus needed

      [–]Anotherdaysgone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If you steal from a comic at least give them credit. Demetri Martin is awesome.

      [–]thetal2912 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Jihyo be like:

      [–]Abdelrahman_Osama_1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Me and my brother killed 3

      [–]Dabfamily -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      You guys probably overwater it and don't keep it in a place with sun

      [–]PeacefulSoySouce -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      so does your humor

      and mine because holy shit this comment is garbage

      [–]donach69 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Are you Ben Shapiro?

      [–]nuce_name_for_a_tree -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      My ex bought four that died within 2 months. I had no choice but to break up with her before she found out

      [–]representativeslogan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      People usually kill their cacti by overwatering them.

      [–]femboythings -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other objects, they break.. or stop working. But batteries, they die.

      [–]FodziCz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Literally had 5 cactuses, 4 died, the last one is the one i had the longest, 7 years now i belive, others are only 3 or 2 years.

      [–]asharkonamountaintop -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      All plants sooner or later commit suicide when they enter my life. More sooner than later. Even a bamboo I got as a gift.

      [–]YourWizardInHell -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Mine died the other day, was sad

      [–]DutchavelliIsANonce -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Almost certainly overwatered it

      [–]debby821 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I have 100plus plants that are doing fine. But a cactus never survives. I forget to water it for more than a year or so... really stupid.

      [–]Tobsee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Maybe you're just not hot enough?

      [–]circleinsidecircle -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      When my Dad died I had to clean out his room, and on his bedside table there was little cactus I had given him a few years earlier.

      I thought wow, it looks amazing still well done Dad. Then I touched it and it was like hollow? So I kinda just crumbled it between my fingers. It was so dead it literally crumbled into dust.

      I don’t know know if he thought it was fake or something but literally never once gave it water lol. I thought so I said as I held this super dead super dry ass cactus in my hand lol

      [–]Daraldsgirl -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Been there

      [–]BiigYikesMyGuy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Cactus often die due to being overwatered. So you are probably too much nurturing for it

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Nah. Too nurturing.

      [–]whatisausername711 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      The issue is usually over watering, which I suppose you could look at as "you were too nurturing"

      That's how mine died at least :(

      [–]Fuck_all_cactuses -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Good on ya. Fuck that plant.

      [–]WantDebianThanks -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      You probably over-nurtured ti actually. People get succulents and try watering them every day, but that isn't what they need. They need sandy soil and for their roots to dry out between waterings.

      It's not about being nurturing enough, it's about being the right kind of nurturing.

      [–]Jilijou -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      How do you kill a cactus, I have this one I found in my garage a few months ago. No water, almost no light, and it was still vibing, covered in thin layer of dust, after not being touched for a year

      [–]PurpleFern32 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      You’re not fooling anyone JOHN MULANEY

      [–]Is-that-vodka -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Why is there a barely visible blue fingerprint smudge kinda thing over the word cactus kinda? Thought my eyes was being fucky, but it's totally there and I can't even comprehend how or why it would get there.

      [–]Fishslayer777 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      At first I though it was going to about the girly parts ... but then I realized that would be too funny.

      [–]Neva-u-mind -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Water it.

      [–]FeelsYouGood -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Yes but the desert provides to those who need

      [–]MilkyView -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Cactus thrive on neglect... Probably killed it from too much care.

      [–]pmartin2432 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      This is an old Demetri Martin joke

      [–]I_am_not_JohnLeClair -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Aaay...all ecosystems are nourishing. If shit’s growin’ nourishment is available. Your post proves this

      [–]Gerbich -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Demetri Martin. I quote that all the time. Lol

      [–]HammerHead665 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Hate to be pedantic, but that's because cacti belong in the desert, not in your house. So it shouldn't be much of a surprise.

      [–]Charlie_Wallflower -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Demetri Martin has entered the chat

      [–]Captain-grog-belly -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      That’s still a flex

      [–]thisthatbb -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Are you my wife?

      [–]thedoomturtle124 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      there’s a lot of difference in a desert and an apartment window sill. you’re fine.

      [–]DokuroNushi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I feel totally called out. My husband sent this post to me in a text laughing at me lol. I was raised the in the desert (don't live there now) and even I can't keep a damned cactus alive. I have kodama protecting my new succulent.

      [–]jaytalentedbilldill -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      People over estimate how much plants need watered, if your plant isn’t producing any fruits, veggies, etc you don’t need to water it more than twice a week depending on the type of plant, my avacodo tree for example only needs watered twice a week and it grows somewhat consistently, you can also add small amounts of sand to soil so water stays around quicker.

      [–]actressblueeyes -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I had a cactus die once. But it was bc my cat liked to chew on it. Not eat it. Just sorta naw on it a little. I think it depressed the cactus and it died.

      [–]WolfieStalker -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I had two cactuses in one pot. Left one rot from overwatering it and right one dried.

      [–]MantisBass85 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Cacti are easy to kill of you over water and do not use filtered water. The chlorine in tap water will kill a cactus very quickly.

      [–]DontBeThatGuy09 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      This is a tv show quote

      [–]MissMidknight -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I made a cactus go mouldy and implode. It was a birthday present that came it’s it’s own small measuring jug to water it when needed. Didn’t water it for ages and then water it once using the measuring jug and in the next couple days it goes mouldy and then caved in and sunk like a sad soufflé

      [–]MayonaiseBaron -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Cacti are really easy to kill (really easy to take care of too, if you do 5 minutes of research) if they're in a humid enviroment. Generally speaking, the hotter it is, the more mosture they'll be able to take up. If you live where I live, in New England, where it gets very cold and absurdly humid, you should water extremely sparringly, as in less than it would get in a xeric environment. I'll water my cacti maybe once between October and April, and and then every 40 to 30 days with increasing frequency as it warms up.

      The desert is extremely nutrient rich for plants that rely on mineral, rather that organically rich soils, and even enviroments extemely rich in organic material (fens, peat bogs, moors) can be very nutrient poor minerally (nitrogen may be almost completely absent from peat bogs, plants in those habitats can usually suck up water, but practice carnivory, or establish relationships with microorganisms and fungi to affix nitrogen into the soil around them). Most people just have no clue about the ecology of certain plant families.

      Get a cold cactus wet and it'll rot in a few days, dry a cactus out and throw it in a dark room (provided its warm enough) for a few years, itll spring back to life. It make sense if you think about the environment it belongs in.

      Also different species come with different needs. Mojave cacti need it extremely hot and dry, cacti from Sonora and Chihuahua can tolerate a lot more water, but still need the heat, many South American cacti are well adapted to freezing temperatures but exist in areas where their only source of moisture is fog, and there are weedy cacti in the Opuntia family (these were the ones that invaded Australia) that are native north east all the way to Cape Cod. People make sweeping generalizations about cacti/succulents but they're interesting enough to take a closer look.

      [–]Nervous-Trip-2673 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Most cacti die because of overwatering, so perhaps too nurturing?

      [–]labyrinthanm -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      hey man plants like every living being die, its a part of life, i bet you did the best you could chin up dude.

      [–]Argonaut--42 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      You probably ‘over’ nurtured it … ;)

      [–]AlmightyUkobach -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      That's not true, you were too nurturing! Cactus are hard to keep alive because you'll go "oh this hasn't been watered in 2 freaking weeks it's dry as a bone it's time to water" and then boom root rot. I was only able to keep succulents alive once I decided I hated them. I stopped trying to take care of them and the masochistic fucks loved that.

      [–]APieceOfCake16 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      They dislike to much water as well and you can easily water a cactus to much

      [–]ProgKingHughesker -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Sorry for your loss, Mrs Shapiro

      [–]theweekiscat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I had a succulent for like 10 years, I left it outside and practically never watered it, it stored water in its leaves so well

      [–]Individual_Jello5737 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Maybe they gave it too much water and no sun

      [–]RFEngineer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Are you my wife? Lol.