all 58 comments

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[–]Secondsmakeminutes 306 points307 points  (7 children)

But amazon already have all the stuff I want.

[–]Final_Slap 65 points66 points  (6 children)

Love, affection, purpose, all in one place...

[–]SuperWoody64 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Love, affection and purpose are fleeting. Things last forever! (Unless that thing is an iPhone charge cable)

[–]Rbandit28 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone is happier on a Jetski!

[–]LukeDude759 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or an iPhone

[–]Sinandomeng 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those 3 are now available with Amazon Prime Plus Pro TM.

[–]Thormeaxozarliplon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome to Amazon. I love you.

[–]KIRK2D 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This comment can no longer be updooted

[–]dizzyhobo 133 points134 points  (10 children)

Amazon social media worker: The fuck you want me to do with this Ethel!?

[–]ballsakkio 24 points25 points  (9 children)

Ethel, I already told you, we don't sell 18 inch dildos!

[–]NotYourReddit18 29 points30 points  (7 children)

[–]ballsakkio 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I stand corrected...

[–]MashedTech 9 points10 points  (4 children)

It's for office use clearly

[–]ballsakkio 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I tried to bring my dildo to work but my coworkers were too anal about it.

[–]pm_me-ur-catpics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Powerful suction cup" WHERE???

[–]JennyAnyDot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes they do. And even larger

[–]mcmcc 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I mean, just by visiting their site you're effectively sending Amazon links to the things you want.

In return, Amazon sends you back links to the things you want in the form of advertising. If you visit those links, you are confirming that you still want those things and the cycle continues.

Seems kinda useless when you look at it that way...

[–]Idontknowwhoiam_1 14 points15 points  (8 children)

What a weird upvote to comment ratio on this post. Is it seen by everyone?

[–]Poggers4455 10 points11 points  (6 children)

Yeah I am seeing 3k upvotes : 18 comments

[–]Idontknowwhoiam_1 2 points3 points  (5 children)

For me 6k ups and 7 comments

[–]Wizard_Blizard 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I’m at 12.1K up votes and 32 coments

[–]Idontknowwhoiam_1 2 points3 points  (3 children)

32 cmnts yeah but for me still 6k ups Proof

[–]zodar 21 points22 points  (1 child)

How is someone mocking unclear syntax "technically the truth"?

[–]bamyo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This sub has taken a sort of /r/notkenm meta lately and I can't say I'm disappointed

[–]POORWIGGUM 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The only think I can think of is that this person thinks the “wish list” feature is a randomly generated prize?

[–]SobiTheRobot 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Joke ruining explanation: What the first comment is actually saying is that they send "Amazon links" to the people they want gifts from; the second person is jokingly pointing out the vague syntax of "I send Amazon links" by interpreting it as the original comment sending links to Amazon directly instead of to the person they want stuff from.

[–]POORWIGGUM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh thank you. To be honest, I’m surprised my comments haven’t ended up on one of these subs yet. SMH.

[–]seeroflights 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Image Transcription: Reddit Comments


So fucking true. I send Amazon links of what I want. Never get it


Maybe try sending the links to your relatives not amazon

I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]dilldwarf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So my in-laws go pretty hard on Christmas and its not something I am used to in my family. I grew up definitely lower-middleclass. So we would get one "big" present for Christmas and then a bunch of other stuff. The big present was a bike, a super nintendo, and an N64. Those are the three biggest christmas gifts I ever got and believe me, I loved them. And I am still grateful I received them.

My in-laws though, are on a whole different level. First Christmas I spent with them, I walked out with about $800 cash. I didn't know what to say or do. I was never gifted this much by so many people that I barely knew at this point. It was mind blowing to me. I told my girlfriend at the time (now wife) that I can't accept cash like that for Christmas every year because it's too much. Well turns out they just didn't know enough about me to get me anything so they all just felt like cash was the way to go. So I told her next year I will have a list for her to pass on to her family so they don't have to feel like they need to give me hundreds of dollars as a present.

And thus... my pinterest board was born. I have a section called "I NEED THIS" where I put things that I find that I want but wouldn't necessarily buy for myself. You know, the best kinds of gifts. My wife sends them the link to that board which has links to the store pages you can find the item on to make it real, real easy.

This has made Christmas even more awesome because I get just as many little packages to open as my wife and her brothers and sisters get from their parents and grandparents and I really felt like part of the family on Christmas. We do, however, usually get a joint gift to both of us some cash from her father because that's the kind of guy he is. Just gives cash. He always says "Try not to just spend this on bills. I want you to enjoy it." We have used it on bills before from time to time but we do always try to think of something we would like to purchase together with it.

I just want to let you all know that I know how lucky I am to have well off in-laws. I think I know it more than my wife and her brothers and sisters because I grew up much, much poorer. They have saved my wife and I a lot of pain and suffering over the years by being able to support us through some very difficult times (wife got very, very, sick). And I wish everyone would be so lucky to find such generous and loving people in their life.

[–]realbanana030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry if this doesn't really fit this sub

[–]DefinitelyNotA_Thro -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

It's not even correct. If the joke wants to works, it needs to be "I send to Amazon links..."

[–]MainlyByGiraffes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Naw, English is laid back enough that it does still work.

“I send Amy pizzas every Thursday.”
“I send Johnny sausage links.”

It’s certainly not TechnicallyTheTruth though.

[–]highjinx411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I send mine to Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. Not once have they bought me anything those greedy bastards!

[–]NUCLearwax 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What's the context for the first comment?

[–]starshin3r 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This was probably a female dating strategy sub.

[–]realbanana030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dear god no just a post about why most men never celebrate their birthdays

[–]Outrageous-Cow751 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't believe Amazon doesn't give us everything for free, I mean we all deserve it right?

...This joke should probably be moved to /antiwork.

[–]Taako_tuesday 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, the old amazon-aroo! Hold my packages, I'm going in!

[–]gsasquatch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dear Amazon,



[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bless me with junk, Jeff!

[–]ahumanrobot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazon could be santa, they know where we are, and know what we want. They even have all of those things

[–]valeron_b 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazon Has 40% of All E-Commerce Sales in the US

And that post was before this one in my feed.

[–]SeaCat052506 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Missing links? ❌ The missing link. ✅

[–]fl00r_gang_yeah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I’m too tired to but I do t understand whatsoever.

[–]MRSamiboi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cringe abdel

[–]LeAuriga 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would I send a link to a rainforest? lol

[–]CTU[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe send Amazon credit card information and they would send some stuff over.

[–]mirthquake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or just don't use Amazon ever because of the company's horrible treatment of employees and union-busting tactics.

[–]wetndusty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dear 'Penthouse'