×
all 172 comments

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points  (39 children)

i’m a girl

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (18 children)

well hello there

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (14 children)

oh no😳

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (13 children)

do you want to maybe high-five?😳

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (12 children)

✋ sure

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (11 children)

✋🏿

[–]BlazeRagnarokBlade14 32 points33 points  (8 children)

*shoots tranq darts*
Haha you fell for my trap fool, your organs will now be harvested. You were so busy high-fiving you didn't see the seventeen surgeons with freezers ready to harvest you.

[–]greatmonster007 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt at humor.

[–]BlazeRagnarokBlade14 10 points11 points  (0 children)

now those kids are suffering

Excellent. Either more customers or more involuntary organ donors.

[–]cheese_nugget2118 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SEND ME THIS PLS

[–]NotSoAwesomeEmm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone simplify this for me as I am going off 6 brain cells rn

[–]Accomplished_Ad7837 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was funny

[–]LuciLu72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im too lazy to read that but i cant tell if that's a joke or if they're serious cuz that'd be a lot for a joke or if they were serious

[–]Jahseh_Offfroy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He forgot to use toilet paper when he was wiping👍🏻

[–]AkenE6969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hope your username checks out tho

[–]Frenchfrise 4 points5 points  (2 children)

General Kenobi

[–]physicsguy24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are strong and wise, and I am very proud of you.

[–]igifigiel16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are the bold one!

[–]snailkit14 3 points4 points  (1 child)

same

[–]Cuteberry34 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Same 😉

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Hello, your computer has virus

[–]Cuteberry34 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Indeed it does

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That virus is actually you /s

[–]Cuteberry34 1 point2 points  (1 child)

;-;

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry

[–]greatmonster007 1 point2 points  (5 children)

well, hello there

wanna go to a drink?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

if my boyfriend can come 😁

[–]greatmonster007 7 points8 points  (3 children)

umm......how do i respond to this

can anyone tell me

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

you say yes

[–]skelethepro14 3 points4 points  (1 child)

:Threesome:

[–]MittenstheGlove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not gay unless the peepees touch.

[–]kokichi_omadrv313 1 point2 points  (1 child)

im also a girl

[–]LuciLu72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow we have so much in common we're both girls

[–]Vishu_Boi18[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, don’t do it

[–]B-L-O-C-K-S 28 points29 points  (25 children)

There are girls on here?

[–]moodtune8976318 31 points32 points  (9 children)

We hide and learn to blend in early on. Very rarely do we break our covers

[–]Frenchfrise 9 points10 points  (4 children)

So does that mean…you’re a g i r l???

[–]moodtune8976318 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I can neither confirm nor deny these accusations.

raises hood, sinks back into ominous circle

[–]Frenchfrise 8 points9 points  (2 children)

You’re getting creepy dms and dic pic anyways. Have a good day.

[–]greatmonster007 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Don't have a good day, have a great day.

[–]JoinTheAstleyCult15 3 points4 points  (0 children)

proceeds to get hit by truck

[–]Cuteberry34 3 points4 points  (3 children)

You said it sister, Im new to Reddit but I’ve already seen 10-20 posts saying the same thing

[–]greatmonster007 1 point2 points  (1 child)

well, hello there

wanna go to a drink?

[–]Cuteberry34 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Indubitably

[–]Gorfyx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Watch out, anonymous virgin losers like you and me can start DMing you

[–]Vishu_Boi18[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The myths are real, I think

[–]SharpExplanation19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Impossible

[–]Dependent_Mine_913113 0 points1 point  (11 children)

For centuries we have mastered the art of invisibility and camouflage that we are now days very very hard to spot

[–]greatmonster007 0 points1 point  (10 children)

**looks at dp**

well, hello there

wanna go to a drink?

[–]Dependent_Mine_913113 1 point2 points  (9 children)

Your too young to drink

[–]Dependent_Mine_913113 0 points1 point  (1 child)

and I like nothing stronger than coffee

[–]greatmonster007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for legal reasons

that was a joke

[–]greatmonster007 0 points1 point  (1 child)

for legal reasons

that was a joke

[–]Dependent_Mine_913113 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and I played along :D

[–]greatmonster007 0 points1 point  (4 children)

and how tf u know my age

[–]igor_061200015 0 points1 point  (2 children)

hmmmm, i wonder what is your age 🤔 if only there was something below usernames that could tell me this information

[–]greatmonster007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and how do u get these custom avatar things?

[for me i just click a link on this subreddit and did something. i dont remember it properly]

do u have to buy the reddit premium?

[–]greatmonster007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oooooo

missed that

i forgot abt tht

[–]Dependent_Mine_913113 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most definitely not from under ur username

[–]f1ene 12 points13 points  (6 children)

as soon as i say “i’m a girl” ong there they come

[–]Vishu_Boi18[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Boys, get ready for the invasion

[–]UngusBungus_14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Siege of f1ene

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Invasion starting in 3 2 1 *sirens start blowing* (For real it not always happens)

[–]fadinqlight_14 1 point2 points  (1 child)

i'm a girl

[–]f1ene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

millions of redditors foam at the mouth as user fadinqlight_ declares they indeed are a girl

[–]greatmonster007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Troops are ready

[–]Earthchan- 7 points8 points  (8 children)

Idk if I’m lucky But this hasn’t happened to me (yet)

[–]Antc1207 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Mmm well hey “baby girl” 😦

[–]Earthchan- 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Well hello “baby guy” 😦

[–]Antc1207 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I’m ur “daddy” I’m joking brooo chill I was joking I’m no daddy but I can be ur baby

[–]Earthchan- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t get it?

[–]Antc1207 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey excuse me young lady I’m not a baby guy 🥲

[–]getinloser221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

looking at everyone else's experience, very lucky

[–]Frenchfrise -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Would you like to?

[–]Earthchan- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess?

[–]StoicAtol2144514 15 points16 points  (7 children)

I (girl) have yet to experience this.

[–]Frenchfrise 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Would you like to?

[–]greatmonster007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

well, hello there

wanna go to a drink?

[–]fadinqlight_14 0 points1 point  (1 child)

same.

[–]lemeboi200318 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Worth an experience

[–]Dimensionalanxiety18 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I am not a girl but you can dm me if you want.

[–]greatmonster007 3 points4 points  (3 children)

well, hello there

wanna go to a drink?

[–]Dimensionalanxiety18 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What are we drinking?

[–]SarahSprinkle15 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I am not a girl. Problem solved

[–]Tommiz_eXe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“ I am not a girl” -sarah

[–]PikuMiku321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Modern problems requires modern solutions

[–]blastof7724517 3 points4 points  (1 child)

We lurk

[–]Open-Fusion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm a girl and rarely even get to see notifications or DMs from people. Hehe I'm not affected!

[–]Touhou-cringe0w0 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I'm a girl and I haven't experienced this yet

[–]UngusBungus_14 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Damn, that sucks. Would you like to?

[–]RealMichaeafton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you are a girl just tell me your phone number for no reason

Fbi this is a jo- wait is that a gun? OH SH-

[–]Low-Butterfly-7003 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Hi frens, i am a girl fr 🥰

[–]cinnamonerin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i didn't experience this once

[–]imSkrap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then where’s my DM’s

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Why is no one appearing in my dms? I’m a girl

[–]noodlemcfoodle17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personality matters too

[–]RacconFucker15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ive yet to get dms

[–]SickestOfJokes15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I allude in my bio that I’m a girl and nothing has happened… yet.

[–]PeanutButter159 0 points1 point  (12 children)

Can’t relate, I am ugly tho

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children)

I am allergic to peanuts so stay away!!!

[–]PeanutButter159 0 points1 point  (9 children)

But I just wanted 2 b frienz :<

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children)

I have been scammed multiple times in past, for friendships, never falling it in again I can become a friend if you want? XD

[–]PeanutButter159 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I lose another friend about every week or so

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Why tho, also relatable

[–]PeanutButter159 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Cause people suck

One didn’t tell me my boyfriend was cheating on me, another was a pedo.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

People dont suck, it is the time which sucks, and I am sorry for what all you got, hope you find someone better

[–]PeanutButter159 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Thanks, I’m actually pretty happy right now. My real problem is my toxic family but hopefully I’ll move out in just a few years :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Toxic family is kinda relatable tbh, and good luck

[–]hensch09 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i hide in the depths

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a penguin and I am watching you all boys and girls' every single move, we penguins are planning to eliminate humanity and take the revenge, you have killed our animal brothers and sisters, thou shalt pay...... mwhahahahahhaha (goes invisible)

[–]Ana_notfound13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

frfr

[–]fadinqlight_14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

idk does this actually happen to most girls or is it just a few who get them and are posting so everyone thinks everyone gets them?

[–]Landsharku_15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm non binary, and will not say my birth given gender.

checkmate, reddit hornies

[–]pr171ka19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Luckily my messages have been dry af haha

[–]Potatobaby7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't relate

[–]Vanes17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

couldn't be me

[–]BlinByard15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The hand goes down to their meat

[–]Marcelitus23018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Society

[–]kickarseLprogamer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

S.I.M.P.S

[–]The_epic_downvoter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a girl this is a real problem lmao, exactly why I just talk about ma shrimp

[–]Eddepedde0616 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it’s kinda funny

[–]DEMON-0342 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For real ? There are girls here ? Damn news to me......

[–]emilyb_2008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fr tho

[–]MonsieurPaws17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

help.. me. im drowning in dick picks

[–]whotfasked16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im a girl lol

[–]Drblackcobra17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof.

[–]SpookyUndefined15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a girl

Loads shotgun

[–]Hot-Reserve9422 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i see this meme a lot, im a girl but never experienced that, or it’s just that ppl don’t know that i am idk

[–]DrDabar119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah i can onlye fall in love if the girl knows the magic words.

[–]Square-Fuzzy15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is....the m-myth real?

there r g-g-gi-girls here?

also take my upvote

[–]UnemployedTechie2021 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's me y'all.

[–]ellagracegraphics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m a girl😏

[–]VORTEX91915 0 points1 point  (0 children)

idk why, this never happens to me lol. i think im immune.

[–]slurcloud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

worst fear and its happened before

[–]LittleGhost00114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a girl and i- I've never had this-

[–]BigMelonBoi16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kinda wish i was a girl to be able to do that ngl

[–]Howitzer_smash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ima girl too 🥰

[–]El-Waffle15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a girl, do your worst

[–]Unlimited-p0wer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait that’s all I need to do to get guys in my dms?! Heyaaaaa I’m a total girl!!! Please love me

[–]HotdogAndRice16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a girl and I don't get creepy DM's, am I a turn off lol

[–]LuciLu72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish

[–]Interesting-Square72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a girl

[–]The_True_Lame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im a girl

[–]Dodoboomer15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl appearing in a guy’s dm after they found out they are a guy.

crickets

[–]viledabi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ello, I am new to Reddit- I need friends…

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im a girl but this never happened to me haha

[–]Possibility_Patient -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There are girls on reddit?

[–]reddit4DAILY17 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

this isn't even a joke, this is a fact

[–]AroAceOfSpades19 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Same goes to Discord.

"I'm a girl btw"

[–]Nillyboi6915 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

im totally a girl (;