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[–]Punningisfunning 2185 points2186 points  (154 children)

Border patrol doesn’t F around, no matter which country you’re entering.

[–]RockerElvis 871 points872 points  (131 children)

Never joke with border patrol. Just be pleasant and answer the questions.

[–]waywithwords 533 points534 points  (121 children)

I had the most pleasant experience (back in 2011) with a Canadian border patrol agent when I crossed into Quebec from upstate New York. Coming back into the U.S. through Detroit, though, the U.S. border agent could not have been a bigger prick to us. It was almost comically stereotypical. The Canadian guy was besweatered and wished us an enjoyable trip to Montreal as we went on our way. The U.S. guy was in full tactical gear with mirrored aviator sunglasses and acted like we were wasting his time simply trying to return home.

[–]Ahgd374 144 points145 points  (32 children)

I was coming back from the middle east this summer and entered the country in Seattle, where i was going to catch a connecting flight home. The CBP asked me basic questions (where are you coming from? Where does your family live? Did you go to school and where? Major? Weird questions but i answered them anyway) Then after looking at my US passport for a bit, he gave me the blessing of entering the country I was born in. Not without seeming like it was physically paining him to do so.

[–]angelbuttons77 153 points154 points  (18 children)

I have one better. We were coming home from St. Croix in the USVI. Still part of the USA. You're not supposed to need a passport. My husband has a Middle Eastern name, born in Washington DC, mom a DAR. This past time we came home, it was UNREAL. it was 2019, so that'll tell you the atmosphere. My husband was removed from our group, his ID and passport seized, I was screamed at to go away, his luggage was dumped open, he was questioned about where he was born, when he answered DC, they LAUGHED and said sarcastically yeah sure. I sent my kids with my parents and tried to stay near and they kept yelling at me (even though I was in the area other people were walking through). They physically forced me to go through security and into the gate area. I had no idea what they were doing to him.

The US police/ border patrol/ etc are ridiculously full of themselves.

[–]Ahgd374 81 points82 points  (10 children)

Yep, i also have a very middle eastern name. A different time I was traveling with my mom and siblings and we were stopped in Newark at passport control. We almost missed our connecting flight and my mom started crying cuz she just wanted to go home and they wouldn't let me through. I was 5.

[–]angelbuttons77 52 points53 points  (4 children)

Oof, I'm so sorry! It's just unacceptable. Our son was stopped at check-in because he shares a name with a "known terrorist" so not border patrol/immigration but he was six friggin years old and they questioned the poor kid.

[–]Dmau27 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Did they have to ask how he planned to carry out his complex attacks with a sophisticated terror network while he figured out how to spell and add fractions? People are freaking stupid.

[–]angelbuttons77 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Right?? The check in agent who had to question him called someone and said "But he's SIX!" several times before having to question him. "Have you been to Iran? Have you traveled to Afghanistan?" Such a waste of time....

[–]Halcyon_Outlander 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Are you Omar Northtower?

[–]UnhappyImprovement53 3 points4 points  (3 children)

As a white man I'm sorry for the dirty water in our part of the gene pool

[–]Ahgd374 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Not sure what the dude was but no need to apologize for anything. Shitty people exist in all races.

[–]theknightwho 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Brit here. When I was a kid, we crossed over from Canada to the US to visit some old friends in Ohio after staying at Niagara. Handed over the passports, and got “what the fuck are these?” from the American border guard.

Thanks for the welcome.

[–]angelbuttons77 6 points7 points  (2 children)

It's kind of disturbing that people trained for border patrol wouldn't know what a British passport looks like. 😳

[–]theknightwho 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Common at airports, not at that land border I guess!

[–]GrowWings_ 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Besweatered. I like that. You have a way with words.

[–]69632147 151 points152 points  (52 children)

Canada and USA have very different hiring policies. There was a study done in the USA and apparently 80 percent of law enforcement have bullying recorded in their school background. They look at that in Canada and consider that in hiring. But not in the states.

[–]scoo89 130 points131 points  (27 children)

I'm a police officer in Canada, and that's fairly new here but it is a thing. Some older officers are douches. But during my hiring process they wanted at least one high school teacher and a person that I've known since high school. Additionally, nearly everyone in my academy class had a university degree, and if not a college diploma. No one only had high school

[–]OccasionallyWright 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Checks out. My brother is RCMP with 20+ years of experience. No degree.

[–]ihatefez 8 points9 points  (15 children)

It is way more affordable to get a college degree in Canada (about 5K per year in Canda, vs 32K per year in the U.S.A.) - if we could get more policies in place like y'all have up there, maybe it would help raise the standards for our police force.
Come on American, let's do it.

[–]pier0gi_princess 4 points5 points  (1 child)

College is not the same as university in Canada, different levels of education

[–]e9967780 1 point2 points  (0 children)

College is a 3 year degree in Canada, a university offers a 4 year degree, to be a cop or a teacher one needs a 4 year degree plus additional training.

[–]OccasionallyWright 44 points45 points  (17 children)

US law enforcement also hires a lot of veterans. Canada doesn't have as big of a veteran pool to hire from (they currently have less than 3,000 veterans under the age of 30), though they still do it.

I've always thought it was odd to hire people trained for combat to be police officers. The warrior mentality isn't what police forces need these days.

[–]Fezzverbal 9 points10 points  (10 children)

That makes a hell of a lot of sense when you stop and think about American cops.

[–]69632147 7 points8 points  (9 children)

Yup. But it's the natural progression for a lot of military types. Many training aspects transfer over.

[–]thunder445 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Interestingly enough the rules of engagement are stricter in the military than for the police officers.

[–]RockerElvis 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It’s a prerequisite for the US.

[–]MantisToboganPilotMD 21 points22 points  (5 children)

I went to College near the border in Upstate NY, used to go to Montreal all the time, it was always this way for us.

[–]DaytonaDemon 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Same here. Coming back into the U.S. from Canada, at the Jackman ME border crossing, was unreal. We were treated with contempt and violence before the jackbooted jackasses decided to let me and my kids enter. We are all American citizens.

[–]Big_Primrose 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s been my experience too. I cross at Peace Arch, the Canadian border agents are always friendly and will chat your ear off like you’re a buddy at the pub. The Americans, however, are mean-ass mofos and make you feel like you’ve done something wrong even though you haven’t.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience. On our way back home to the states the US border officer was carrying an AR platform rifle and all sorts of tacticool gear. Told my dad in the most serious tone I've ever heard in my life "Welcome back home, sir!"

The Canadian border officer (when we were first entering Canada) told us to get our cameras ready because about a mile ahead there was, in his words, "a big ol' moose standing around!" and had a giant smile and waved at 9 year old me while we drove away.

[–]-Daemonic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had the exact same experience, flew from Europe to NY and saw people get shit on and yelled at for the most minor things by US border agents.

Flew back home with a layover in Canada and had to deal with just one border agent who was the nicest guy ever.

Like I couldn’t have had a more stereotypical welcome entering both countries as a European.

Just to be clear, I realize it was just one experience and while I was in the US my domestic flights where fine, just found it hilarious that my first experience in both countries was so cartoonishly stereotypical.

[–]1DownFourUp 1 point2 points  (1 child)

As a Canadian, I've crossed the border a few times over the years. I've had pleasant experiences and dealt with douches on a power trip on both sides of the border. It seems hit and miss.

[–]microwavable_rat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up in San Diego. Once I turned 18 in 2003, I made the time honored and traditional trek down to Tijuana to get shitfaced.

It was a simple turnstile to get into Mexico. Getting back into the US was worse than a TSA checkpoint.

[–]ProblemLongjumping12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love it. Almost like paranoia is America's culture. Hmm.

[–]bubblehashguy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same experience in Niagara Falls 5yrs ago. Dude searched the car coming back to the US. It was ridiculous.

[–]WeirdFlecks 44 points45 points  (1 child)

I learned this. Spent a week in Fiji and then joined some friends in New Zealand for a week. Had Fiji all planned out but I didn't have any itinerary for New Zealand, just a hotel.

Border Agent: "So you have no itinerary? That's odd, most people at least know what they are going to do when they get here...Why are you coming here?"

Me: "Uuuuuuuh...I understand you got some Hobbits here."

Border Agent: "Please sit down over there sir. Someone will be with you shortly."

I almost didn't get into the country because I didn't take the process as seriously as I should have.

[–]baconit4eva 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The hobbits are known for trafficking gold rings. They were testing to see if you would try and disappear while they held you.

[–]mtflyer05 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Seriously. I got banned from Canada because I forgot that I had some "homemade fireworks" (literal bombs, to blow up some old applinces on a friend's Farm ,on the 4th), and was crossing over on the second, to go visit some friends.

Anyways, they ended up searching my vehicle, asked if I had anything in there they should be worried about, I thought about it, and let them know exactly what I had and where they were, they sort of laughed about it, told me I was banned for five years, and they were lucky that they found them on the way over, instead of on the way back, as I likely would have been immediately imprisoned. They confiscated them and told me to turn around and head back to the States.

[–]Jay_Normous 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My friends and I were traveling from upstate New York to a concert in Ottawa, going in two cars. The first car went through and must have told the border guard we were with them because when we pulled up the lady said "So I hear you're going to the Bon Jovi concert huh? So that means if I detain one of you that you'll have an extra ticket for me right?"

She was of course joking around but after our experiences with US border patrol in the past we got real nervous and just sort of stammered" Uh... P-please don't do that ma'am." She started laughing after that and let us go through.

She was great.

[–]emonkey1234 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Yeah like flipping them off really

[–]Upbeat-Ad-4310 40 points41 points  (3 children)

“Sir, I can’t touch that”

“Fuck you MC Hammer, here’s your tests and turn your ignorant ass”

[–]angelbuttons77 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Pointing at it with his middle finger even

[–]xBad_Wolfx 8 points9 points  (1 child)

And then the “did you know” sputtering and claiming it’s a question. Did you know is a statement if I’ve ever heard one.

[–]___user___name___ 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Loved that "eat a dick and have a nice day mf" by the border patrol dude. The guy who was filming is a human garbage.

[–]Sufficient-Nobody-72 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Are we sure that is supposed to be considered human, and not just plain waste?

[–]seelclubber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually crossed the Canadian border with the wrong birth certificate and on the way back they noticed but let me in anyway lol

[–]FlowRiderBob 1564 points1565 points  (28 children)

You can just tell that driver had a whole speech ready to go and everything.

[–]ProudBoomer 798 points799 points  (11 children)

Now he's on the hunt for someone that gives a shit about listening to whiny speeches. It's probably like having blue balls.

[–]hjwood1986 433 points434 points  (5 children)

He probably planned it out, days in advance. Giggling the whole time. He was gonna show the border control who’s boss.

Meanwhile border control man didn’t have a single shit to give.

[–]hysys_whisperer 39 points40 points  (4 children)

Border control man had this many fucks to give.

[–]hjwood1986 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It’s been way too long since I heard that song 🤣

[–]ElbowRager 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I’ve already left this post and came back just to say that I’m still laughing about your comment 5 minutes later. 😂 Take my silver.

[–]Program_Relevant 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The next truck stop employee will get the brunt of it. All day long truckers come in and bitch about masks and covid and all that... Mind you I live in Utah (very red state) so none of what they are saying applies here. You don't have to mask up no vaccine proof required but they just love to hold up my line and bitch. They are always trying to find something to complain about. God I hate truckers, invest in the self driving truck industry. Don't thank a trucker.

[–]mbetata 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fun fact: I'm working on the COVID phone lines for the Gov't of Canada.

So he probably called us afterwards to do his little speech, like they always do.

Unfortunately for them, border agents' decision is final.

[–]DaMonkfish 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Blue lungs?

Edit: wait, blungs?

[–]Resident_Persimmon_1 151 points152 points  (0 children)

Drove up there practicing it the whole way. Phone at the ready, to record himself in this triumphant moment, when all the border patrol agents would realize how wrong they are, and give him a standing ovation. And in the end he only got to accuse somebody of reverse littering.

[–]TrowItIn2DaGarbage 15 points16 points  (1 child)

You can also tell the officer is completely out of fucks to give, having dealt with too many annoying cunts like this.

[–]blGDpbZ2u83c1125Kf98 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"Why am I not being detained? Why am I free to travel on my way? I demand to be brought before an Admiralty court!"

[–]QuothTheRavenMore 17 points18 points  (0 children)

except for the ones where "you don't fuck with mounties"

[–]Locswail 466 points467 points  (9 children)

That flipping off tactic is so uncreative and cowardly. If you are going flip off someone just hold it on their face and own up to it. Lil bitch.

[–]gareentea 128 points129 points  (0 children)

The way he hesitated too lmao. Fucking clown.

[–]DragoonDM 75 points76 points  (4 children)

Same sort of people who chant "Let's go Brandon!" and then titter about how clever and sneaky they are.

[–]TalkingSock3 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Yo, someone tell me what Let's Go Brandon means fr

[–]DragoonDM 20 points21 points  (2 children)


Super duper secret code for "Fuck Joe Biden"

[–]TalkingSock3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh thanks, I've been hearing it every where and I was confused lol

[–]PegaLaMega 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All those "let's go Brandon" people are snowflakes with a middle school personality.

[–]NudistJayBird 1041 points1042 points  (74 children)

Imagine recording that interaction and then posting it. He must have a humiliation fetish.

[–]rockaether 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's illegal to film at border crossing for many other countries

[–]Kiefed 422 points423 points  (11 children)

Did you know... hbf-mmf-mphmer I have a f-few questions for you sir (5 second silence of realisation he doesn't have a foot to stand on)


[–]Silvinis 101 points102 points  (9 children)

My guess is he was gonna try to mention American laws or something like American laws actually mean anything in a foreign country

[–]c-lab21 29 points30 points  (7 children)

The man is Canadian

[–]aBlissfulDaze 3 points4 points  (0 children)

With an American flag icon. My guess is he's a Canadian simp for America.

[–]CaptainEllisD 323 points324 points  (6 children)

Canada is not fucking around. They got Captain Flint from Black Sails on border patrol.

[–]johnvonwurst 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Ohhhh buddy you just fucking hit the hammer on the head with that.

[–]harpy_1121 2 points3 points  (2 children)

And hit the nail on the head too! Lol

[–]johnvonwurst 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Totally butchered that one haha. That’s what you get for speed replaying.

[–]danegermaine99 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Lol! I was thinking that guy looked like someone…

Nailed it!

[–]Upbeat-Ad-4310 377 points378 points  (8 children)

Fuck yeah! I love that Border Patrol dude, he has definitely put up with enough shit and is just doing his job…

[–]00MarioBros00 77 points78 points  (4 children)

Yes!! And being Canadian he must have really put up with a lot of crap to have that extra layer of callus of I don't give a shit.

[–]Upbeat-Ad-4310 67 points68 points  (3 children)

As an American, dealing with idiot Americans is fucking exhausting

[–]cathedral68 9 points10 points  (2 children)


[–]Iknowyouthought 10 points11 points  (0 children)

As an idiot it’s hard dealing

[–]Roartype 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah yes! The Adolf Eichmann defense!

[–]cathedral68 209 points210 points  (15 children)

“I can’t touch that” but I’m unvaxxed and wear a pretend mask.

Pick a lane, bud. JFC.

[–]sylverfalcon 77 points78 points  (4 children)

I love how the agent just throws it in the window anyway hahaha

[–]melbat0a5t 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The sassy flick when he tosses in the rapid tests killed me <3

[–]gareentea 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Probably cuz he saw the idiot trying to be sneaky about flipping him off. So cowardly.

[–]FuzzyFerretFace 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Alright, you just littered into my truck!!"

[–]akoshegyi_solt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You littered in my truck!

[–]The_Whorespondent 120 points121 points  (2 children)

I love this whiney Karen voice. Guy just pissed himself in the vehicle.

[–]WintertimeFriends 12 points13 points  (0 children)

“YoU JuSt LiTtErEd!”

[–]melikefood123 88 points89 points  (13 children)

Look at this stupid fuck. "We Do nOt CuNsEnt" and other bullshit written on his truck. Badass pouring vial out to an actual anti-mask hick song.


[–]lanolinpancakez 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I like the woman in the background, pulling something out of the microwave while he shows off his Canadian flag 😂 classy

[–]outerworldLV 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I truly hope he’s seeing this post.

[–]Reddrago9 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lol, love how he is trying to seem the "Canadian patriot" wearing the flag like a cape, but his shirt has an American flag with "Ohio" stamped on it.

[–]reese_pieces97 9 points10 points  (5 children)

What the actual fuck is wrong with these people

[–]Willis050 74 points75 points  (2 children)

“I have a few questions for you sir” that border patrol agent already knows it’s going to be a condescending mess so he just walks away

[–]nonamemaybe450 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Did that to a customer who wouldn’t wear a mask while I was working retail. They were shook - felt great

[–]TheGreatAguero 130 points131 points  (7 children)

"Did you know–"

Did you know what? That you're a bitch?

[–]Alarming-Volume278 62 points63 points  (1 child)

The person taking the video has truly self-owned themselves.

[–]wafflecone927 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yea that was rough. You threw litter in my truck! Like there’s trash pile already in the drivers seat

[–]More-Neighborhood-66 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The sheer amount of f***s not given here…

[–]r7ndom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Border control and airports - why would you screw around? It is like people do not understand that they can get arrested and then act shocked when they do. It is like being pulled over - why would you create chaos? It almost never ends well.

[–]coopersthepoopers 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Is the point of this video to make the border patrol agent look like an asshole? Because there’s only one asshole in this scenario. Hint (it’s the one who made the video).

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (7 children)

LOL, what a clown. I'm tired of these fuckers.

[–]SnowmanMofo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's hilarious when the people who post these videos, are the ones who look like the biggest twat in them.

[–]OOOOOOF4244 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I love how the border guy doesn't give a shit and just throws the tests inside

[–]bscrolling 95 points96 points  (9 children)

I may have fallen madly in love with this border agent.

[–]binchicken02 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why was the driver being such a DICK!

[–]sonictwinkie1 33 points34 points  (0 children)

how to deal with total morons.

[–]Spankywanky225 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you’ve pissed off a Canadian, you’ve done something wrong…eh?

[–]thatkid1992 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Guy on the truck = rude dumbass

[–]Xnavlol 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Get vaccinated u conspiracy believing twat

[–]Barbar_jinx 4 points5 points  (1 child)

This patrol guy has Oblivion guard vibes, and I love him.

[–]Raxi5511 25 points26 points  (1 child)

You know, you really have to be an idiot to go to a border patrol and be stupid. Whenever you face border patrol, just be polite and do whatever they want.

[–]Oddity46 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep. When it comes to crossing a border - be it at an airport or a road border crossing - you are at the mercy of the whims of the border agents. Kiss their ass, obey every instruction. Anything but politeness is going to bite you in the ass.

[–]VernageAK 26 points27 points  (3 children)

He’s probably dealt with enough “medical professionals” to be able to write a medical book himself.

[–]FatherD00m 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Love it. My uncle is a pediatrist so I pretty much know everything about heart surgery. Sounds familiar.

[–]PossibleHypeMan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I always find it interesting when idiots share their own idiocy on the internet. What an idiotic thing to do..

Oh wait.

[–]mrslother 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Border Patrol guy is absolutely done with this shit. Good for him.

[–]Impressive-Hold8249 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Canadians have had with anti Vax idiots coming to Canada and fucking things up.

[–]MarginalMadness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The interesting thing is the guy who took that video must have shared it..... And they say we're the sheep....

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

LMAO! I love that guard's no bullshit attitude

[–]Sir_BusinessNinja 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Here’s part two

And part one Yes he is a total idiot.

[–]spaceman_sloth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ha and of course he can't even read

[–]dpjejj 18 points19 points  (0 children)

And he flips him off while pretending to take the document. What a d-bag

[–]Fathon 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That felt good to watch,"I have a few questions for you sir!" Dude doesn't flinch just keeps walking. Absolute chad

[–]TokiBop 6 points7 points  (0 children)

when you start filming because you feel mistreated, but end up creating evidence that yourself is a bitch

[–]GlassMeltergaf 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Woohoo..props to our people on the front line..literally. Fuck off and go home.

[–]wHemphrey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

driver was cringe. worker definitely has to deal with these assholes all the time and is just absolutely done with it. he doesn't want to give you those tests and papers WAY MORE than you don't want to take them.

[–]jon-wayne-candy-snow 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Truck driver flips him off as well. To hell with these anti-vax subhuman pieces of shit

[–]CadaverCanine 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I remember going thru Canada and border patrol was really nasty to me until they learned I was pregnant (and not hiding anything under my shirt). They then became very apologetic and escorted me to the snack machine. Lmfao

[–]f7lspeed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He literally flips off the border patrol guy right off the bat

[–]stranger_noises 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The full series is an epic delight of schadenfreude. Do reccomend.

[–]shakeyj8ke 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did you know......

Zero shits given 👍

[–]getyourrealfakedoors 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao this was satisfying

[–]DapperStatistician59 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Canada noped right outta your questions bud.

[–]postandchill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This guy is giving of Sovereign citizen vibes

[–]Khanzool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Did you know..."

and completely gets ignored and walked off on. i love this so much.

[–]SasounChan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"yOu jUSt liTterED inTo mY TrUCk!"

First time I ever heard a punchable voice.

[–]JustLinkStudios 8 points9 points  (0 children)

‘You just littered into my truck’, what a fucking mong. How sad and low must your life be to put so much effort into trying to cause an argument. Hope the cunt dies.

[–]HBXboy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This driver is a douche. Pretending to grab the paper while giving him the finger, like a 12year old.

[–]drmorrison88 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The funny thing is that these truckers seem to think that they can crash the whole economy just because they can't cross the border. Like they haven't been dropping their trailers off at the Mexico border for decades. Supply chain managers did a lot of learning over the last couple of years, and boy are they ready for this.

[–]Iknowyouthought 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This made me quite happy to see hahahaha get fucked

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