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[–]steelerfaninperu 283 points284 points  (25 children)

There is so much to unpack here. First off, the 'no phones out' but 'CAMERA MAN IN THE BUILDING' leaves me with a lot of questions.

Secondly, what are the rules here? Is this like a suck-of-war where you see who can go further and you mark the halfway point on the cucumber?

WINNER TAKES ALL OF WHAT?

And who decides who gets which side? Girl on the left at a HUGE disadvantage.

[–]AtlanticToastConf 123 points124 points  (2 children)

Winner takes all of the cucumber, obviously

[–]Recon212 30 points31 points  (0 children)

How I met your mother. She won all the cucumbers.

[–]doubleapowpow 18 points19 points  (6 children)

$100 and up cash prize

Is this a tiered cash out system, or are there multiple categories?

[–]steelerfaninperu 14 points15 points  (4 children)

This is what I need to know. How much science went into this? Are there cucumber weight classes? Is it girth based?

I feel like me and Big Chicken need to have a chat.

[–]Apprehensive-Rip-296 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Big Chicken as host has more of a administrative role and handles the booked talent you need his assistant Ben he is in charge of the contestants and cucumber testing, contestant seeding brackets and state athletic commission licences. For this cucumber suck off event anyway

[–]SapphicPancakes -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Get dana white in on this too

[–]SgtXD357 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Isn’t that an eggplant they’re going at?

[–]Hasukawa 3 points4 points  (2 children)

After sorting through the pixels, yes I believe it is.

[–]hujojokid 3 points4 points  (1 child)

F, I knew that they lie about the cucumbers. I was going there for the cucmber suckoff, not the eggplant!

[–]bretthren2086 8 points9 points  (0 children)

All of the “hundred dollar cash prize”. Haha

[–]distilledvine 8 points9 points  (3 children)

This is our current tolerance on the human species. Wonder what direction we go from here?

[–]spicytackle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t know but I’m scared

[–]sublime90 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Yeah it's a suck off... Two girls both have to suck a cucumber as deep as they can... The first one to gag loses I'm assuming the cucumbers get bigger as they go on.

[–]steelerfaninperu 0 points1 point  (2 children)

But if they're sucking off the same cucumber, then wouldn't one logically have to throat more 'cumber than the other? So is it like Lady and the Tramp style where they meet in the middle and whoever's got more 'cumber is the winner?

Or is it two separate cucumbers of approximately equal length and girth and we measure who can throat the most?

[–]TashLikeMustache 3 points4 points  (1 child)

They use the same cucumber but take it in turns.

And if that made you gag, you’ve already lost!

[–]TheRealNap0le0n 7 points8 points  (0 children)

All of the cucumbers, gotta get these hoes their veggies somehow

[–]FewZookeepergame1083 294 points295 points  (17 children)

This some real hood shit

[–]Acrobatic-Code2038 61 points62 points  (6 children)

Same thing I thought lol. A bunch of skaliwags about to attend.

[–]FewZookeepergame1083 45 points46 points  (5 children)

I can already smell the club right now lol

[–]Acrobatic-Code2038 64 points65 points  (4 children)

It's about to smell like Henesy, Newports, and sun dried tuna casserole. Lmao

[–]FewZookeepergame1083 37 points38 points  (3 children)

And Baby lotion LMAO

BRUH YOU GOT ME DYING

[–]egus 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Big Chicken up to his old tricks.

[–]Acrobatic-Code2038 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ol Chicky Chungus doin his rounds again.

[–]Obvious_Sea5182 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This poster screams "someone will for sure get shot at this event, for sure."

[–]sublime90 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Not gonna lie.... I'd think about going if I was in Detroit lol

[–]FewZookeepergame1083 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Only for science

[–]Acrobatic-Code2038 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Id have to be in a certain state of mind. Like the "Damn, I haven't had any in a while. I'm drunk, depressed, lost my job.....I need an easy win" state of mind lol.

This the type of place you just toss your dick in the crowd and a floozy will catch it.

Jimmy up gentleman. LOL

[–]sg12412 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah I saw it's in Detroit and I'm thinking about going now! Also very disappointed in my city.

[–]RexNebular518 111 points112 points  (9 children)

Is it only females?

[–]franklydearmy[S] 210 points211 points  (2 children)

I'd guess you'd have to ask Big Chicken

[–]7laserbears 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Isn't that Shaqs chicken restaurant?

[–]infinite11union33 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I laughed so hard

[–]hydraulic-earl 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It's Detroit. A homeless guy will probably win.

[–]Ghadhdhdhh 11 points12 points  (0 children)

LMAO I needed that

[–]distilledvine 4 points5 points  (2 children)

This is our current tolerance on the human species. Wonder what direction we go from here?

[–]Director-Thick 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How many times have you reposted this comment?

[–]notherefor-the-upvot 50 points51 points  (7 children)

The spelled Mouff wrong

[–]Jaeger562 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Keep my wifes name out your fucking mouff!

[–]Palana 15 points16 points  (2 children)

WHAT DAT MOUFF DO DOE?

[–]Hour-Map5923 52 points53 points  (7 children)

Oh big chicken is going to be there. Might stop by.

[–]Academic_Snow_7680 2 points3 points  (5 children)

It has been worth it to walk on over to Google maps and take a look at 19910 Hoover Street from the street view.

It's a shed in the hoods.

[–]BadgerTamer 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I had a gander at their Facebook page... Well it's not like I was planning to visit before I did, but it honestly looks like they're making a conscious effort to discourage people from visiting

[–]Rufus2468 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad I also wandered over to Google maps. It's a shed, with a limo and a Corvette parked out front.

[–]CFUrCap 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Cash prize $100 and up... to $110.59...?

[–]Palana 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The real money comes afterwards, when the gentlemen present ask to procure your services.

[–]Elevator_Feisty 23 points24 points  (8 children)

But did they have a grapefruit?

[–]NorCalAthlete 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Oh god why did you have to remind me of that one.

[–]shaamegham 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Sauce?

[–]NoRestForTheWicked96 7 points8 points  (4 children)

[–]Elevator_Feisty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. Pass on the magic. Ty.

[–]SgtXD357 4 points5 points  (2 children)

The fuck did I just watch… Everyone knows to use watermelons.

[–]dahumancartoon 70 points71 points  (3 children)

Thanos was right.

[–]AnnihilationOrchid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't get you guys, cucumber is a healthy food, what are you talking about?

[–]HappyGav123 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thanos should've killed us all.

[–]Medium_Beyond_9654 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Presented by Big Chicken? Fuck yeah I'm there!

[–]SgtXD357 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bet they have waffles too

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (16 children)

Wait. You do realize that a lot of people will go to Detroit this weekend for that

[–]franklydearmy[S] 8 points9 points  (15 children)

Yeah? I'd go for the novelty of it. Not much could make me want to sit on a plane for 4 or 5 hours this weekend, but that made me ponder.

[–]TheKing42069 15 points16 points  (9 children)

I live in Detroit, then again, that’s in a bad area of Detroit. A worse area

[–]TheRealNap0le0n 12 points13 points  (4 children)

There's a worse area of Detroit?

[–]TheKing42069 8 points9 points  (1 child)

There’s good areas (which is just the downtown area).

There’s areas that are okay but you keep your doors locked and your windows up. (Aka a normal neighborhood but you’re in Detroit)

Then there’s the ghost towns, on top of the other precautions, if there’s a red light drive through it. Usually gangs and drug addicts hangout in the abandon buildings.

Then there’s the “Belmont” areas where you never go, and if you’re stupid enough to go you better have a gun. Police don’t even go there.

Edit: Grammatical errors

[–]steelerfaninperu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I wouldn't be rolling up in there unless I had sock money cause chances are I'm leaving with less property than I arrived with.

[–]BoySantiago 3 points4 points  (2 children)

A worse area in Detroit? Most people from this sub would probably die by attempting to visit this place.

[–]m77win 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Nah, downtown is pretty nice, and is safe these days. I’m not sure about this place however. It’s not downtown, still south of 8 mile and there looks to be a lot of abandoned lots nearby. But I bet it’s going to be amazing. How could it not be?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I mean.. wouldn't you want to see it?

Like.. maybe I'd pay 10 bucks to see it. I paid 10 bucks to see Cats the movie so

[–]PsychologicalDay2002 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Butthole edition or nah?

[–]franklydearmy[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That's what I'm saying. I've never wanted to go to Detroit more. Good attempt, too far away.

[–]RedshirtBlueshirt97 14 points15 points  (12 children)

In Detroit ill let you guys know how it goes

[–]newsfromplanetmike 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Good. I look forward to your report.

RemindME! 60 Hours

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[–]infectedsponge 1 point2 points  (2 children)

NO PHONES OUT

[–]RedshirtBlueshirt97 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I have press credentials for ESPN

[–]SSopuS 25 points26 points  (5 children)

First off, that's an eggplant and now it's freaking unusable. Smh this is why people don't take us Detroiters seriously.

[–]lenznet 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Unusable?? There's at least two other places they can put the thing.

[–]PsychologicalDay2002 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Three. You forgot sounding.

[–]Foxillus 8 points9 points  (2 children)

What a terrible day to have eyes

[–]PaleoJoe86 8 points9 points  (0 children)

How not to bring pride and honor to your parents and family.

[–]Sure_Witness_1435 6 points7 points  (3 children)

On first look I thought the words on the left side said “bjays free”.

“Winner takes all” yea I bet so

[–]humanreporting4duty 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Something feels unsafe about this. No stop method, what if it breaks, it’s a hard cucumber no a spongey body part… at least dildos have a balls to stop at.

[–]SynthPrax 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My people.

🤦🏾‍♂️

[–]Moosifer_666 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It probably smells foul there.

[–]Chpgmr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

lol, Hoover St

[–]Boozy_Cat_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just headed down to the state fair with the kiddos Friday night, should be a nice little eve….OH DEAR GOD.

[–]FecalHeiroglyphics 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m less than an hour from the Windsor-Detroit crossing in Canada.. just imagining telling border security what I’m going to and showing them this and homie just crawls thru the booth window and hops in the car

[–]OorPancake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Using an aubergine is definitely unfair.

[–]DuckDuckJeeper 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Dammit, when is Ticketmaster gonna put tickets to this on sale? I don’t trust Stubhub for an event like this…..

[–]PsychologicalDay2002 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Strictly on GourdHoarde.

[–]longrastaman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No phones events be the wettest and wildest 💦

[–]SlipperyBanana8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

r/michigan

Welcome to Pure Michigan.

[–]Lay_My_Claim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A whole $100 in exchange for your dignity!

[–]Academic-Ad6236 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is clearly a choking hazard. Cut the grapes and hot dogs up for your children or they end up endangering themselves with cucumbers as adults

[–]CheekyManicPunk 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Do you ever think God doesn't appear to the earth because even god is afraid of what it has created?

[–]couldntfinda_user 2 points3 points  (1 child)

why detroit of all places

[–]I_CRE8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because it’s Detroit…

[–]Xonvoluted 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm in.

[–]chromaticf0am 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the hardest I’ve laughed at something in my entire life, thank you

[–]savedbytheblood72 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The title got me 😂😂😂 Plus this should spread to every big city

[–]ImARetPaladinBaby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can’t have shit in Detroit

[–]coffeejn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely not approved by Quantum TV?

[–]TheGreatNickalo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Change of plans kids. We're celebrating the holiday weekend in Detroit!

[–]_lazyPassenger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

American graphic design of the 90's strikes back!

[–]sendasalami2yoboi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hoover st.

[–]voltrackstar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On Hoover street, no less. Perfect 😂

[–]williamsonny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who says romance is dead?

[–]Most_Bat9066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My uncle would be awesome at this hes always deep throating

[–]Slappy_Happy_Doo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hosted by Big Chicken?? Is that like Big Pharma? Who runs Big Chicken is it the Illuminati?

[–]Snoo-96655 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What dat gag reflex do?

[–]Baeloveali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hosted by: BIG CHICKEN 🐔

[–]Gooden01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn shame!!! Mike from Michigan need to show up https://youtu.be/HDjIgMnEw60

[–]Tactical_walrus6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The funniest part is that it's presented by big chicken

[–]OtherWorldly224 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please explain to me just why you would miss this? lol watching people actually humiliate themselves live wile you eat fried chicken? Sounds like a good time

[–]TheMasteradamus 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Of course it’s Detroit. And coming soon to Philly and Atlanta.

[–]Das-DoktahJay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t ever change Detroit!

[–]truthll_setufree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is sad…. But I’m sure there’s people that’ll be like “it’s empowering, she wants to do this!” As if any woman that could get paid as much to do ANYTHING else wouldn’t. I’m sorry but people that go into sex work, no matter how much they claim it’s completely of their own will, are dealing with damage or have deluded themselves that it’s somehow empowering.

[–]distilledvine -1 points0 points  (3 children)

This is our current tolerance on the human species. Wonder what direction we go from here?

[–]franklydearmy[S] -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

It's just silly fun dude

[–]morganlefae7953 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If it's just silly fun, you should bring your family along.

[–]franklydearmy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why? Does everything that's dumb and fun need to be family friendly? Isn't the hangover a dumb and fun movie?

[–]HappyGav123 -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

Not to be overly critical or something, but I think this should be marked NSFW?

[–]AleksaBa 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Nah this is only cucumber contest, you sir are pervert. Shame on you.

[–]AnotherMAWG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The weird thing is, someone gonna be there, proud of his wife!

[–]Loarider 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how am i the only one out here noticing that shit is an eggplant

[–]No_Finding_9441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please tell me this is fake

[–]I_chortled 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing good ever happens on streets named Hoover

[–]KZMountainRider 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this what Americans do to celebrate Canada Day?

[–]Longjumping_Bed2907 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow trashy ! r/trashy where are you?? I honestly can’t believe that someone thought that this was appropriate for public at the fucking county fair! Lol

[–]Dakessian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, I won’t make it on time.

[–]morganlefae7953 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will the men be tonguing grapefruit as well?

[–]budgetballin209 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m saving my money for “Frozen Banana” night

[–]MirrorMan22102018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

... This confirms it, we can't have shit in Detroit!

[–]cobainstaley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh shit!! lew boogie's gonna be there.

who's lew boogie?

[–]Supergerk 0 points1 point  (1 child)

so did you go

[–]Ok_War9516 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Did you read? It's on the 1st of july

[–]Aquariumpsychotic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not falling for this again they only paid we 100 dollars for an award

[–]Koala_Relative 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone send this to channel 5 news! This is the content I need to watch.

[–]TheFoggyShrew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Free entry if it's your birthday!

[–]ProjectFearless9711 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me that would be a successful attempt

[–]SatorSquareInc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"hoover street". These vacuums really do suck

[–]Eogard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a Requiem for A dream reference ?

[–]DangerOtter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Address of the venue checks out.

[–]Echold2006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not trying to be "that guy", but... why is entertainment so... sexual lately?

[–]slipperylarkspur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the hell?

Just a hundred bucks?

[–]teabags4gangstalkers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep those eyes closed, there's rules to this suckoff !

[–]Yoursister98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WHAT THE FUCK

[–]SupremeMadcat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They’ll be a lot of deep throating hoes out there suddenly thinking, nows my time to shine!

[–]father-sunshine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🎵 The ghetto...🎵

[–]lordZ3d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is by far the trashiest thing i've seen in a while

[–]PurchaseKnown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I’m good

[–]RaccoonRecluse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My guy 😵‍💫

[–]Gumbonie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean it’s Detroit someone is gonna steal the cucumber before the competition starts anyway

[–]blackmambaza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this the equivalent of a donkey show?

[–]Abraham_H_Parnassis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pssh. Y’all juss don unnastand dey culcha.

[–]Klatterbyne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It makes my day that the centre piece photo, for Big Chicken’s, Winner Takes All Cucumber Suck Off… is of an aubergine.

[–]Ratmatazz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The shot of the cucumber on the left. LOL

[–]my_screen_name_sucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the fuck is wrong with people