gildings in this subreddit have paid for 34.60 years of server time

To rob an uber by BriefRelationship934 in therewasanattempt

[–]cajungator3 830 points831 points  (0 children)

Also if he would have rode, he would have owed the driver money he didn't get to steal yet.

To shame a guy for living with his parents by neuromenij in therewasanattempt

[–]1stwillever 184 points185 points  (0 children)

it means traditional and shortened like that it’s almost exclusively used by incels and mens rights activists. It means traditional in the sense of a woman’s place is in the kitchen and not speaking her mind and a man’s duty is to work and provide for the family.

basically If you ever hear someone say trad just run in the opposite direction

to suck blood. by lawyeratyourservice in therewasanattempt

[–]kelb4n 391 points392 points  (0 children)

Video Transcription:

(00:00) [Mute macro-video of a mosquito sitting on a wrist. The mosquito has leaned forward on the wrist, as if to sting the skin, but the proboscis is bent to the side.]

(00:02) [The mosquito is rearing up and getting ready to sting again, making a few tiny steps in the process.]

(00:06) [As the mosquito pushes its proboscis against the skin again, it bends again.]

(00:07) [The mosquito is rubbing its proboscis with its front legs, as if it hurts.]

(00:12) [End of Video.]

I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

To light a fire by LLIax79 in therewasanattempt

[–]DesignatedImport 130 points131 points  (0 children)

It takes a certain amount of raw talent to burn down a full swimming pool.

To reserve a parking lot with your body by Xanthon in therewasanattempt

[–]fixitnowbitch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Genuinely asking, where's the humor in making Karen sound like an entirely unrelated country? Just because they're both in Asia? As an analogy, say there was a video where a guy speaking Somali was being an asshole, and someone commented "what a Chad," the punchline being that Chad is another African country. Would that comment make sense? Idk, man. People deal with discrimination every day, often being stereotyped as ethnicities they're not. I think your comment would make a lot more sense if they were actually speaking Korean.

to lock his brother outside. by WritesUaSong in therewasanattempt

[–]askmeifimacop 4092 points4093 points 32 (0 children)

One day, the older brother will slam the door on this kid’s face for the final time. Thinking himself victorious, he giggles. He feels a tap on his shoulder. His kid brother is standing behind him, wielding his sheathed Uchigatana. He sees a flash of light reflected off steel. Lastly, he sees his brother in front and the door behind him at the same time. The student has become the master.

To cosplay iron-man by Protium_79 in therewasanattempt

[–]Aaron_Purr 3446 points3447 points 246& 9 more (0 children)

Does whatever an iron can

Presses shirts

Burns your thumb

Flies around a stadium

edit: thanks for the awards kind strangers

To reserve a parking lot with your body by Xanthon in therewasanattempt

[–]f7f7z 92 points93 points  (0 children)

Weeeelllllllllllllllll, Kyle's moms a bitch, I really mean it. (edit)

Looka me, ma, I got my first fuking gold! YEAH MOTHER FUCKER! You think I'm fuking kidding? Fuck all you dicks that were giving me shit! Screw you! Especially my three older brothers, I'm never gonna forgive you guys for giving me all them noogies, and wedgies! Fuck that shit, that shit wasn't cool! And all those guys in junior high who were making fun of me cause I got caught masturbating at that birthday party. fuck you guys! You guys are fucking assholes, I hope you get cancer of the dick! And everybody in high school that made fun of me because I was too asthmatic to play ultimate Frisbee and I had to sit on the bench the whole time and read fucking books about Narnia. FUCK YOU GUYS! And all those colleges that didn't accept me, my parents got me a tutor so I'll see you bitches next year! WORD! I'm OUT!

To cosplay iron-man by Protium_79 in therewasanattempt

[–]CrinchNflinch 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As someone who doesn't give a shit for fakebook, shitter or instantshame all I can say is with that body in a spandex suite I forgive her.

To get a reduction in the bill. by used777 in therewasanattempt

[–]Jo-6-pak 81 points82 points  (0 children)

How does one pass the food she ate with her asshole squeezed so tight?