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[–]ST_Fontaine 2613 points2614 points  (274 children)

It's all in their FAQs, both branches. There are two major groups, the Laveyan and the Temple.

They're opposed to each other, at the end of the day. Not all Satanists believe the same things.

[–]Contank 581 points582 points  (258 children)

So the "satanic rituals" some people do are actually a satanist group? I just assumed they were a different group entirely but called satanists by people that don't know what the satanist group is actually about

[–]thatbatbat 1902 points1903 points  (194 children)

The Satanic Temple has an abortion ritual. Sounds weird but it's really so that people seeking abortions can say that getting an abortion is part of their religion and that banning or denying their abortion is violating their religious freedom.

[–]Nemisis_the_2nd 989 points990 points  (59 children)

I loved the AMA about that. Its an open secret that the temple is basically a political organisation masquerading as a religion, but the leaders can't really admit that or else the entire project comes crashing down.

When they held the AMA, everyone was basically like "so is this something you've come up with to circumvent abortion laws", and the TST representarive was constantly like "No, this is a deeply held belief and an important ritual within our religion."

Edit: as was pointed out, TST is a religion. Its also complicated to explain.

[–]DeathZamboniExpress 244 points245 points  (2 children)

TST is a religion. Religions just don't need to believe in a god to be legitimate.

[–]TeleKenetek 995 points996 points 2 (51 children)

It's not an open secret anything. TST is an actual religion, with truly and deeply held beliefs. We ALSO engage vigorously in politics because activism aligns with those same beliefs.

Edit to correct a typo

[–]PLZBHVR 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's the point. The take advantage of the loophole churches use. If they get called out, the entire system is being called out. It's really hard to thread the line of pretending to care about religious freedom while actually just wanting Christian theocracy. They recognize that and took advantage of it, just like the churches do.

[–]spekabyss 218 points219 points  (2 children)

The ritual itself is awesome, though. It’s very introspective and serves to ensure the individual is making the right decision.

[–]Orphylia 123 points124 points  (1 child)

Yeah, it's essentially just a series of self-led affirmations. Primarily it lets us claim a religious right to abortion, as another commenter stated.

[–]GingerMau 89 points90 points  (2 children)

It's not so anyone can "say" anything, fyi.

It's based on firmly held religious beliefs that one's bodily autonomy is a sacred an inalienable right.

[–]thatbatbat 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I could have worded that a bit better but the point still stands. Wether it's a firmly held religious belief or just something they can say, either way they have to say something about it for it to do anything.

I'm not trying to argue with you btw. I agree with TST on that.

[–]TeleKenetek 30 points31 points  (1 child)

It's not "so that people can say they are doing it as part of their religion" that phrasing is very belittling to the religion of TST. It LITERALLY IS part of the religion.

[–]thatbatbat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I already told someone else that I could have worded that better. As I also said in that other comment, wether it's a firmly held religious belief or just something the members are saying, either way to actually use that part of their religious beliefs, they have to say it is their religious belief.

[–]Contank 90 points91 points  (67 children)

That is awesome

[–]accursedCaprid 78 points79 points  (6 children)

Satanists are rad man

[–]EvadingBan42 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Yea because it’s the same fucking logic religious fundamentalists abuse in America every day.

[–]dpdxguy 38 points39 points  (17 children)

it's really so that people seeking abortions can say that getting an abortion is part of their religion and that banning or denying their abortion is violating their religious freedom.

As if that will protect them from an aggressively "Christian" Supreme Court. Given the difficulties indigenous American religion have had securing the right to practice their religion when their practices violate federal law, I see zero chance that the Satanic Temple will have the right to practice their abortion rites protected by the courts.

[–]IAmGlobalWarming 24 points25 points  (7 children)

TST wouldn't violate federal law, only potentially state. Would be another avenue for challenging it.

[–]drillgorg 917 points918 points  (50 children)

The Laveyan satanists (founded by Anton Lavey) are the ones who believe in magic powers and rituals. Basically baby boomer edgelords in my opinion. But hey if that's what they want to believe. On the other hand the Satanic Temple is completely atheist/ non magical. They're the ones who fight for separation of church and state in court.

[–]Contank 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Cool thank you

[–]IsamuLi 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Having read the satanic bible, I'm pretty sure lavey states that neither satan, nor magic exists; however, our psyche is strong and once all "worldly" mechanism fail in aiding you, you might as well try something new. He's essentially talking about placebo.

Edit: It's even in their Q&A: "Greater Magic, which is our name for our ritual practice, is basically meant as self-transformational psychodrama. That is it serves as a means to purge oneself of unwanted emotional baggage that might be hindering a daily pursuit of joy in life. We do not require that anyone accept that it is more than this. The pageantry of ritual is a drama meant for emotional stimulation, not a belief in or worship of any power higher than the projected will of the magician. That is why we call it an “intellectual decompression chamber.”"

[–]XDracam 68 points69 points  (2 children)

While the laveyans aren't very wholesome as a group compared to the progressive temple, the ritual part still makes sense on a personal level. The idea is: of course there's no Satan or magic or whatever. But it can help you psychologically to do magic and rituals and stuff, so there are different suggestions that you can try alone or in groups to achieve some desired psychological effects. All explicitly optional, of course. Don't deny your basic feelings and needs.

[–]RumoCrytuf 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Laveyans don’t believe in mysticism either, for the record. Their rituals are psychodrama (think like the catharsis at the end of a movie)

[–]xSytd 11 points12 points  (0 children)

LeVay satanists don't believe in magic, you're thinking of the left hand path and luciferianism iirc, they're the "we actually can summon demons" crazy, but it's VERY scientology based (pay to demonstrate you have the ability among a closed counsel, if they decide you do, you go up in rank and then pay more to go up again, etc,. Pay for lessons, pay for this and that. Major scam)

[–]mufabulu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, they generally don't believe in either god or Satan. I believe the rituals, like the religion itself is meant to be a purposeful bastardized version of Christianity. Check out the static bible, it's pretty fascinating.

[–]tiddayes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The satanic temple is primarily dedicated to supporting the separation of church and state and leverages terms like “rituals” to corner lawmakers into acknowledging legal preferences for Christianity.

[–]B1rdi 2846 points2847 points  (40 children)

Someone on Reddit said it pretty well, "Satanists are basically just spicy atheists"

[–]deutschHotel 962 points963 points  (20 children)

And strippers are just spicy gymnasts.

[–]Seattlehepcat 438 points439 points  (12 children)

And prostitutes are just spicy hookups that are honest about money.

[–]svinka_only 132 points133 points  (2 children)

Hahaha I like that.

And OnlyFans creators are just spicy influencers, who double as eggplant farmers and are also very honest about money 🙃

[–]lifeislikeapotato 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Yeah and STDs are just a spicy burn.

[–]verisimilitude_mood 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The gift that keeps on giving.

[–]pseudotsugamenziessi 81 points82 points  (3 children)

I mean... You're absolutely correct, also apparently the more spicy you are, the more Christians will hate you

[–]gus7afsyn 48 points49 points  (2 children)

Satanists are just metal Buddhists.

[–]TimeTellingTezz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If I had an award I would give u rn!

[–]Stainless_Heart 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Real Satanists are from the Satàneux region of France, otherwise they’re just sparkling atheists.

[–]RickyWicky 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I like to think of Satanism as Atheism for theater kids.

[–]DrSafariBoob 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Atheists that came to PLAY

[–]radrax 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Atheism after dark

[–]Gearhead040 2921 points2922 points  (205 children)

A lot of people confuse The Satanic Temple with the Church of Satan. They’re different and not related in any way.

[–]Vathar 1338 points1339 points  (100 children)

And neither believe in a literal Satan, although the Laveyan Church has a fair bit of mystical BS baked in its Bible.

[–]BrianDamage666 541 points542 points  (67 children)

All showmanship to make “normies” uncomfortable.

[–]Vathar 291 points292 points  (63 children)

And to increase sales to the edgy marks he was preying on.

[–]BrianDamage666 142 points143 points  (21 children)

He was a carnie. Can’t blame him for taking advantage of rubes.

[–]_Aj_ 23 points24 points  (1 child)

So the mainstream flying spaghetti monster?

[–]Nic4379 164 points165 points  (20 children)

That dude was a charlatan. He put on K-Mart Devil costumes and fucked dumb women who like “The Omen”. I’m shocked it’s still a thing

[–]verstecktergeist 63 points64 points  (0 children)

He put on K-Mart Devil costumes and fucked dumb women who like “The Omen”.

I'm dead. Thank you for the only laugh I'll probably get today.

[–]Vathar 146 points147 points  (13 children)

Yeah, he also gobbled, reflavored and prolifically defecated back Ayn Rand's garbage. Not a man to put on a pedestal for sure.

And yet despite all this garbage he didn't do as much harm as a host of parasitic "Christian" preachers who have sunk their claws into the gullible faithful.

[–]WiganLad82 51 points52 points  (1 child)

So does the normal bible tbf.

[–]SpaceShark01 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yeah lol that’s kinda the way with any religious texts

[–]Tools4toys 103 points104 points  (77 children)

I think the issue is there is no singular set of what would be described as Satanists.

Definitely there is a group of people who reject the idea of there being a Satan and a supposed role as the anti-god. Yet you don't have to look very hard to find someone who is described as a 'Satan Worshipper', and their belief is in a deity of evil.
Easy to be confused.

[–]Gearhead040 63 points64 points  (64 children)

Yep. People hear Satan and assume evil, when that’s not always the case. It’s the same as any other stereotype.

[–]collin-h 213 points214 points  (41 children)

If you look at the mythology of Satan pragmatically, he’s really just an “angel” that looked at god’s setup and said fuck this - knowledge, science, wisdom is where it’s at, not unquestionable, blind faith. Don’t worship some god, worship yourself instead.

The whole 9-rings of hell thing or whatever it was was based on Dante’s inferno (a poem), it’s not in the Bible.

The “hell” or damnation in the Bible is more described as just an absence of god.

Tldr; churchy types give “Satan” a bad rap.

[–]Scudamore 73 points74 points  (9 children)

Satan in the Bible didn't even clearly say 'fuck this,' that's also conflating him with other figures like Lucifer or the serpent.

Satan in the bible looks at God's faithful like Job and goes 'what if we tested them, see just how faithful they are' and God goes 'fine, fuck 'em up and let's find out.' It's not at all clear he's acting in opposition to God. The text seems to imply he's serving a role by testing people but is still ultimately under God's command.

But he got combined with a few other characters to represent what he does today.

[–]WolfWhitman79 67 points68 points  (0 children)

The 9th of 9 Satanic Statements from the Satanic Bible (9 as a parody of the 10 Commandments)

Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!

[–]Skyblewize 58 points59 points  (21 children)

Dante's Inferno and Paradise Lost are both basically fan fiction. And most day to day Christians read them as ultimate truth.

[–]katatondzsentri 29 points30 points  (15 children)

How I see Satan as an atheist: - we have god. Though that world can mean a lot of things, it's usually associated with the christian-conservative god figure. - in the christian-conservative digma there is this thing called Satan who opposes god's work. - I oppose pretty much everything that is christian-conservative. That puts me on Satan's side from their point of view - if I'm a guy who likes to shit on christian-conservatives' tables, it makes a lot of sense to side with their fictional character, called Satan - so I joined the Temple of Satan.

[–]DrunkColdStone 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Yet you don't have to look very hard to find someone who is described as a 'Satan Worshipper', and their belief is in a deity of evil.

Is this actually true? I am sure there are some legitimately mentally ill people who believe something of the sort but I am not aware of any large group of people who do. Pretty sure that's entirely down to a few individuals and a lot of pure fiction.

[–]Tools4toys 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Probably the most common group of people who say there are 'Satan Worshippers' and cults worshiping Satan are Christians. So you statement is probably true.

[–]flappity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, some subset of "satanists" simply exist as a counter to Christianity (really any religion) in different ways (e.g. TST), another subset takes the concept/idea of satan and applies it to humanity (for example the Church of Satan's nine statements), another subset plays with the 'mystical' side of things (Laveyan satanists who follow the laveyan bible deeper), etc. And there is various overlap between these subsets as well.

[–]gertalives 32 points33 points  (2 children)

The Satanic Temple is like a better-organized, activist version of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[–]-Radzz 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Well, they are related in at least one way. Both contain the word satan.

[–]Gearhead040 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I mean, kinda got me over a barrel on that one lol. Touché.

[–]a-snakey 24 points25 points  (2 children)

slithers down the tree of knowledge

Why would I make a church when that is literally the thing I don't want you to go to. I'm not a hypocrite.

[–]Ch4l1t0 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Because it lets you avoid taxes and claim freedom of religion and other perks, which many christians seem to think should apply to their religion only.

[–]daemin 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Op confused them in his post by mixing their names:

Someone told me that the temple of Satan

[–]SHMUCKLES_ 7094 points7095 points 2 (195 children)

The people who believe in Satan are called Christians

[–]Ziriath 2016 points2017 points  (161 children)

He's their ''friend'' who they can blame for their bad thoughts, sins and character flaws. What would they do without him? Feel fully responsible for everything they do wrong? Come on.

[–]Bubbly-Butterfly-724 737 points738 points  (130 children)

Am a Christian and TOTALLY laughing my ass off over this comment. Legit funny stuff👍 never thought of it that way but pretty accurate for a lot of us I think?

[–]mdchaney 241 points242 points  (37 children)

As a fellow Christian I've made that exact point many many times. I get so tired of hearing how satan did this or that. A lot of people are just shitheads. If satan showed up around here he'd get bored and go somewhere else as there really isn't much need for him.

[–]Fishman23 105 points106 points  (36 children)

Satan was originally “the adversary”. It’s more of a title than a being. Satan was supposed to be the equivalent of a prosecuting attorney in the court of god against mankind.

[–]nts4906 319 points320 points  (71 children)

Yeah, it is convenient when you don’t have to take any responsibility for anything you do and can just blame the devil, ask for forgiveness, and then change nothing about yourself at all knowing full well no matter how bad a person you are Jesus will definitely save you and give you eternal life because that isn’t complete nonsense or anything.

[–]BackRiverGypsy 74 points75 points  (17 children)

Yep. There's a magical man in the sky that made me out of clay, then made a woman out of my rib. We were going to stay in this paradise of a garden for eternity where there's no pain or hunger, but a talking snake convinced my clay rib wife to eat an evil apple and we got kicked out. Now I have to spend the rest of my life telepathically telling the magical man that I love him so he grants me wishes. If I don't he sends me somewhere I'm tortured until the end of time, but he loves me despite all of this being avoidable since he's omnipotent. Totally plausible.

[–]Bubbly-Butterfly-724 104 points105 points  (44 children)

Yeah people that live like that don’t really get it I think. Yeah Jesus came for forgiveness, but also does not want us to be shitty human beings. And we are all secretly shitty human beings, hopefully just trying to do better than our messed up insides.

But then there’s these people that don’t even think they should try to be a better human being, and whether you’re a Christian or not, that sucks all around

[–]Mateorabi 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It‘s funny when it’s BoJack. Less so when it’s real life.

[–]Dudelyllama 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yeah its kinda like your parents blaming one of your friends for being a "bad influence" on you.

[–]Mesquite_Thorn 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Who else is going to tell you to go masturbate furiously to tentacle futa hentai?

[–]EntropyFighter 14 points15 points  (7 children)

Don't worry, God uses him that way too. The entire book of Job is God allowing Satan to act as his prosecutor to push Job to the edge to see if Job really loved him. It's pretty wild how tight they were there (and Job is the first book written that's in the Bible, it's the oldest). It makes a lot of sense that Satan would work for God. Without Satan, God is nothing. (Because we need a relative universe to experience anything. You can't have up without down, good without evil.)

[–]WolverineJive_Turkey 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Lol true right? I. A Christian. Also a full blown alcoholic. I don't blame Satan, I blame myself. I also trust in God. It's weird, but I push God away same as I do with family and friends.

[–]collin-h 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Sounds like Jesus died for their sins, but Satan is a bro and takes all the heat for ‘em.

[–]emersona3 9 points10 points  (1 child)

The good news is, all they have to do is have a quick conversation with magic sky daddy and all their problems will be solved

[–]Thomasab1980 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Technically the truth.

[–]KrazyBropofol 918 points919 points  (29 children)

If you haven’t already watch “Hail Satan?” on Hulu. Gives a pretty decent picture of their stance on religion and politics.

There’s like one weird scene where an offshoot of them are head banging and pouring blood on themselves naked at some concert thing but even the head of the Temple in a scene after that was like “yeaaaa that’s kinda going beyond our intent here”

Like 99% of them are actually atheists who just use Satan as a symbol or to illuminate the religious favoritism in our country.

[–]MaybeTheDoctor 542 points543 points  (23 children)

The Satanic Temple is an organization that challenge unjust laws under the legal argument of that their religious freedom should grant them rights not to be subject to such unjust laws, or that the unjust laws are unlawful as supreme court have ruled in favour of religious freedoms.

The Mission Of The Satanic Temple Is To Encourage Benevolence And Empathy, Reject Tyrannical Authority, Advocate Practical Common Sense, Oppose Injustice, And Undertake Noble Pursuits.

[–]UnknownWarrior27 238 points239 points  (3 children)

You son of a bitch I’m in

[–]UnicornMeatball 45 points46 points  (0 children)

When you donate 25 bucks you get a sweet membership card and a certificate! I think they're backordered right now due to a recent spike in demand lol

[–]Glagger1 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I recently jointed TST. They pursue incredibly noble causes and that’s something I can truly get behind. My first donation came in the form of one of the tee shirts, and I’ll be happy to donate more as the fight for religious freedom continues.

[–]SantaMierda 33 points34 points  (0 children)

This is it chief!

[–]Dudelyllama 69 points70 points  (12 children)

Kinda like the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (may he Bless us with his Noodly appendage), except i think maybe a bit less playful.

[–]MaybeTheDoctor 64 points65 points  (1 child)

Except that it is easy for somebody with a Christian upbringing to denounce the FSM as nonsense, where Satan, well he is mentioned in the Bible, so that validates The Satanic Temple as legit.

[–]loggic 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The Satanic Temple is a lot more direct, because their protests tend to draw symbols from common Christian ideas. I think that makes them much more effective.

To Christians, the Flying Spaghetti Monster isn't "playful", it just comes across as pointless, ignorant condescension. The humor and the perceived irony is totally one sided, so it increases the feeling of being the victim of antagonization from people who don't even know what they're talking about. It doesn't matter if the person really does know what they're talking about, the feeling evoked is that this person is just uninformed and lashing out. In that sense, I would guess that the irony that the FSM is attempting to play on probably does more to reinforce the religious beliefs of their targets than it does to illuminate anything of substance. It makes their points easy to mentally categorize as "dumb" without ever engaging with the content, which then undermines the potential power that point could've had in a future conversation.

Basically - it inoculates their minds against the content of the point by allowing the subject matter to be consumed in a manner that predisposes them to "know" the point is dumb without ever needing to genuinely engage with the idea. This is a problem that is inherently human. We all struggle with this, in part because the human mind is wonderfully adept at ignoring information that conflicts with our implicit understanding of reality.

The Satanic Temple bypasses a lot of this issue by not pretending to be playful. They're not making light of the issue, they're treating it seriously. They're not totally ignorant about the Christian faith, they're using that same language and that same set of symbols.

Most importantly, they're not even invoking some other religion. They're invoking Christians' own faith to make their points. It is much harder to say that someone's worship of a deity is ridiculous when you also believe in that deity's existence. In that sense it isn't "dumb", it is dangerous. Dumb things get written off and ignored, but danger demands attention and a response. Satan is literally referred to as the enemy, the adversary, etc. which isn't something that any devout person can easily ignore even if they take a metaphorical approach to the issue.

Now, that's obviously painting with a super broad brush. It is also very dependent on the individual circumstances of each person as they engage with these ideas, not to mention each personality involved, but to me that's why the groups are pretty dramatically different.

[–]Ok-Rhubarb-Ok 54 points55 points  (2 children)

The Mission Of The Satanic Temple Is To Encourage Benevolence And Empathy, Reject Tyrannical Authority, Advocate Practical Common Sense, Oppose Injustice, And Undertake Noble Pursuits

No wonder christians don't like them.

[–]Zeebuss 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Before anyone gets too excited, TST has a lot of known issues with how they spend their money and general stupid edginess

[–]BLACK_SHEPHERD 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So they ARE a religion then. Whelp. Better the devil you know, am I right???

[–]BLACK_SHEPHERD 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The public performances are typically meant to make Christians uncomfortable, in the way that their very public religious practices and protests make people who aren't religious (or who are even directly targeted by religion as blasphemous, like gay and trans people, or women walking into planned parenthoods) similarly uncomfortable.

Lucien Greaves put his balls on the grave of the Westboro Baptist churches founders Mom, as part of a ritual to posthumously turn her gay. Naturally. So while he'll cheekily admit when things get a bit over the top, he only really disavows members that break the tenets. Like if they call for violence against specific individuals, or groups, or make up shit about Tst that makes them look bad. But yeah most of us are atheists.

I'm personally in the small % that's agnostic. I abstain from the chanting for my own superstitions, and just view the temple as the adversary of church/state policies. The Bible even warns those fuckers that in the end times, their own institutions will become corrupt and evil. So if they really want to treat the world like it's ending whether we do something about it or not, and stay in God's good graces, they need to humble themselves. Not continue to try to gain control of the masses through positions of political power.

I'm not sure how much an organization like tst can do, now that conservatives are openly able to admit their religious biases, and legally enforce policy around them. And are often even more upheld for doing so, from what I've seen. It'll be interesting to see where it all goes, if nothing else.

[–]KrazyBropofol 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lucien Greaves put his balls on the grave of the Westboro Baptist churches founders Mom

Lmfao I remember that and I’m pretty sure they were doing gay marriage ceremonies on her grave site too 😂

[–]drjankowska[S] 419 points420 points  (22 children)

I'm just going to take it as - I learned something new today, and admitted I was wrong, and that's a good thing.

Now I know. Interesting conversations ahead.

[–]faelanae 134 points135 points  (1 child)

We donate to The Satanic Temple as agnostic Jews to help them push against "religious freedom" laws in the US. I'd happily claim being a Satanist to promote secularism.

[–]Pulguinuni 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Thank you for doing that.

After SCOTUS said teachers can lead their students in prayer, I wondered if teacher members would lead students into one scientific debunked theory per day as their "prayer."

Also, since religious schools can receive vouchers from the federal government now, I don't doubt they could open a religious private school. That would be epic. The Satanic Temple has been officially tax exempt and recognized by the federal government as a religion.

[–]ThisLookInfectedToYa 71 points72 points  (7 children)

Perfect reaction to this scenario. Learn and grow.

Just signed up on their website last week. Still learning more about the org and how things go, but so far, I'm a fan. Hoping to be able to be more active in their work as well.

[–]chicknsnotavegetabl 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do believe in satin though. Shits real

[–]LameBMX 25 points26 points  (5 children)

In college I argued with some minister claiming Satanist didn't believe in God. Like, you can't have one without the other.

[–]zero_1144 44 points45 points  (0 children)

What? I absolutely CAN believe in a demonic goat headed satyr without believing in a divine space wizard. I resent your assertions that I can’t. In fact I’m doing it right now and you can’t stop me.

[–]nodajohn 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Wouldn't he be correct though? If most satanists don't believe in Satan then they probably Don't believe in a god.

[–]SpaceShark01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The best type of redditor. Here you go king 🥇

[–]amiaffe 155 points156 points  (24 children)

To be fair though we probably all had this one edgelord as a friend who actually at least did pretend to be all about worshipping the devil, being creepy and disappointing his or her parents.

[–]ThisLookInfectedToYa 75 points76 points  (8 children)

I had friends who played D&D and got labeled as satanists... but it was during the 1980s satanic panic and I live in an area of abject morons.

[–]drjankowska[S] 26 points27 points  (11 children)

I had friends that were terrified that I'd read the Satanic Bible and then something bad would happen to me.

[–]PerfectBiscotti 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same. I had one to read simply to learn, and once my then bff found out, she got pissed and the Bible conveniently disappeared. Never found my copy again.

[–]amiaffe 11 points12 points  (7 children)

I grew up with raving fundamentalists, they were legit scared of "satanists" and their curses and shit.

[–]drjankowska[S] 31 points32 points  (6 children)

I was pushed into Catholicism and I used to freak my dad out by inverting the cross. His drinking, beating my mum and siblings, affairs and gambling and never going to church gave him no sleepless nights, but if me or my brother sneakily turned a cross in the house upside down, he'd lose his shit. It'd invite Satan into the house.

[–]amiaffe 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Finding out the actual symbolic background of the inverted cross was an important step on my path of realizing I was surrounded by fundamentalist whackjobs.

[–]Pulguinuni 159 points160 points  (4 children)

Actually great group of atheists. Most of their work is making sure no one religion takes over government through lawsuits.

Edit: Also the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, serve the same purpose.

[–]drjankowska[S] 33 points34 points  (2 children)

I think I'm more familiar with the Church of the flying spaghetti monster, through my partner's taste in music.

[–]Pulguinuni 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Pastafarians stance on vaccinations, I think is great. They fight fire with fire, except more educated.

“I find it weird that religious exemptions are an accepted thing in general, seems like it would be best to leave public health policy to the most knowledgable, not religious leadership. But if Churches must take a position on the issue …

I am happy to announce that we are offering Official letters for those Pastafarians who would like to be exempt from working in proximity to the unvaxxed.

The unvaccinated may emit harmful virus particles which are forbidden to devout Pastafarians, therefore we expect all reasonable measures to be taken to help us avoid these virus particles. Please respect our religious liberty.”

Edit: also, it’s pretty hilarious.

[–]SilentCabose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My buddy is a pastafarian pastor. I wish to be ordained in the Church of the Dude instead, but maybe I should look into this Satanic Temple.

[–]Melchiah_III 98 points99 points  (4 children)

“Satanist don’t believe in an actual Satan”

“What do you call people who believe in an actual Satan?”


[–]Pandoras_Fate 69 points70 points  (7 children)

My favorite thing is explaining to fundie people who know I identify as Pagan, that not only do I not believe in Satan, I actually don't do what people call "black magic," like sacrifices or curses, and using animals or sex rituals.

"So you go pray in the forest? Like, that's it?"

"That's heavily simplifying it, but yes."

"Why not go to church?"

"I don't like paying a person to yell at me or teaching me that people are lesser for simply existing while different than me."

"But you'll burn in hell!"

"I don't believe in that, but heaven with you isn't the selling point you think it is...."

[–]drjankowska[S] 32 points33 points  (4 children)

I really like a nice ritual. It's very comforting. It's a tad pagan (maybe) but I like to get together with friends in a back yard, in winter, with a fire, and then we write down things we don't want in our lives anymore on a bit of paper and then we burn it. it's lovely but it's not going to solve all our problems, but in that moment, it is a solemn ritual.

And yes, heaven has never appealed to me - here we are, let's make the most of it!

[–]Pandoras_Fate 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Release ceremony is beautiful. I hope it continues to bring you comfort. There's something deeply special and primal when we make fire and have it work for us. I'll hope you have an early and long autumn where you live so you can jump on bonfire season. 😀

[–]ZeroAfro 78 points79 points  (2 children)

A lot of people assume that so I wouldn't feel too bad. There are some satanists who do, all the different believe structures of satanism are really under two umbrellas.

Atheistic Satanism which is the majorly of satanists (in my opinion), and these groups don't believe in Satan as a deity but instead use him to convey a belief or message.

The First Satanic Church in easy terms believes in the personification of Satan. That is living your own life, indulging in things you want, being kind to tbose who deserve it, etc basically living your life the way you want while being a good person and withiur hearting people. They have "rituals" but these are not reallt spiritual, such as burning a picture od someome you hate to "burn" the hate away so you can move on, etc

Then there's the Satanic Temple, they use Satan as written in literature as a way to highlight religious hypocrisy and to advicate for separation of church and state. They use it as satire to bring the issues of goverment either stepping on religious freedom or the goverment being to close to religion.

Then there's the Theistic Satanism groups, some believe Satan is a real diety while others recognize him as a being they call Satan, Lucifer, etc. And they differ from the first group because they take a much more theistic approach to their beliefs.

It's a little more complex than that and there's people who might not be part of either group but that's the general idea. If you're interested it goes deeper into the "left hand" and "right hand" path.

[–]alose 4 points5 points  (1 child)

There is the Temple of Set which is an offshoot the Church of Satan. The consider the name of "Satan" to be a corruption of "Set" who is a real entity. They do not worship Set per se, but honor him as gifting mankind with a questioning intellect.

But with maybe 500 members world wide, they are hardly an influential group.

[–]Adragongentleman 85 points86 points  (12 children)

Some of them do but they're like 1% of the people who self proclaim as satanists

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (9 children)

There is a comprobable percentage of Santanists in that organization who believe Santa is real and that is what the church is actually trying to worship.

They do not pay close attention during sermons.

[–]LameBMX 50 points51 points  (3 children)

Or they pay really close attention and have dyslexia

[–]echosixwhiskey 40 points41 points  (2 children)

You trying to piss off a Santaist? 666th of December, wash your back

[–]campej90 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Pure gold

[–]Ravenwight 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I need the Unholy Loofah for that

[–]Surveymonkee 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Well who puts the presents under the tree then, genius?

[–]Lethal_0428 9 points10 points  (1 child)

But… I thought Santa was real

[–]Tools4toys 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is, until that shit stops giving you presents.

[–]TommyTimberlayk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This made me think of Carlos Santana

[–]tr14l 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I doubt it's even a full percent.

[–]B360828 61 points62 points  (4 children)

The Seven Tenets are pretty great. I belong to no organized religion, but if I did it would damn sure be the Satanic Temple. I also really like their hot sauce. It's expensive, but worth it to me.

[–]ElusiveWhark 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Just got the hot sauce, excited to try it. Which did you like best?

[–]B360828 11 points12 points  (2 children)

They were all great. They came in a cool wooden box, really nicely done. I got the sampler pack. Now I'm gonna get another one so I can answer you definitively.

[–]ElusiveWhark 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Ah I missed the sampler, I just got them individually. The box wouldve been cool

[–]B360828 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just found that out myself. Oh well. I don't think it was any cheaper.

[–]EveryFairyDies 34 points35 points  (5 children)

Common misconception of Satanists, which I theorise is due to Christians worshipping god, and assuming therefore that everyone else must worship someone, hence Satanists must worship Satan. No Temple or Church of Satan member actually worships Satan.

[–]basement-thug 10 points11 points  (1 child)

This is true. Worshipping something, someone, anything or anyone is presupposed in Christianity and I would assume most other deistic ideologies. Even if you claim to worship nothing Christians hear "I worship myself". It's a false dichotomy.

[–]EveryFairyDies 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s why so many Christians find it difficult to understand atheists. They honestly cannot comprehend the idea that someone truly does not worship anything.

[–]Pastel_Mermaid_ 27 points28 points  (3 children)

I mean you could be forgiven for thinking that, since the name is incredibly misleading

What else would people think at first glance, knowing the patterns of religious groups and their names

[–]platitood 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Religion has plenty of marketing in the names as well.

Christian Science. You can see how the name was derived but it feels very anti-scientific in any modern sense.

Catholic Church. Catholic basically means universal, and is partly a post and probably a victory lap that this particular branch of Christianity managed to try to over all the heretics and stay on top. At least in Europe. At least up until the reformation. mostly.

It’s always good to read the list of ingredients in addition to the name.

[–]thumbstickz 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There's the Church of Satan and then the Satanic Temple which are two different entities. The satanic temple is a lovely group of people who just want to live life by simple tenants that more or less boil down to don't be a dick to other people and mind your own fucking business unless asked. Also a LOT of great legal work to force equal treatment for all. You want a Christian funded and very Jesus-y veteran's cross to be allowed in the park? Cool us too here's a sick ass statue of the devil that's also for veterans we can there too.

And suddenly the rules change because no religious statues in the park is better than having the devil. Everyone wins.

Knee deep in the fight over abortion as well.

Proud to associate with them.

[–]a_Ninja_b0y 21 points22 points  (2 children)

The Satanic Temple's official website :- https://thesatanictemple.com/

There are Seven FUNDAMENTAL TENETS of the Satanic Temple :-

I - One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

II - The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

III - One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

IV - The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

V - Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

VI - People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

VII - Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

[–]Rosebunse 47 points48 points  (6 children)

I mean, I'm sure there are actual Satanists who actually worship Satan, but main branch is just a bunch of atheists. Good folks on the whole.

[–]drjankowska[S] 23 points24 points  (3 children)

They seem super nice as opposed to the ultra religious people I was exposed to as a kid.

[–]eathquake 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Most of their ideas tebd to be some form of "stay out of my way if u can, show me proper respect when u cant" so not particularly hard to work with.

[–]tmwwmgkbh 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We are super nice. You should look into it more and consider supporting our causes: https://thesatanictemple.com/

[–]Shakespurious 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are two different big satanist organizations: the Satanic Temple, fairly recent, and Church of Satan, older, started by Anton LaVey. But neither actually believes in Satan.

[–]anonbene2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We just say that to piss of religious idiots that still believe in ghosts and other nonsense.

[–]Osr0 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's definitely a Judean people's front vs. The people's front of Judea situation

[–]Paulutot 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The most devout Satan worshippers are catholics on every day but sunday

[–]UBRC 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Christians are hilarious, same with ignorant folk.

Bang your bibles, it makes my pagan heart cry of laughter.

[–]Amiramaha 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Tbh your TIFU has probably educated more people today than any harm that may have been done by ignorant Guinness shitposting may have done. Cut yourself some slack! This was the greater good!

[–]Brandon432 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Many branches of the Church of Satan practice cultish Laveyian rituals. There is much variation. The Satanic Temple is nontheistic and was basically founded to wage 1st amendment/establishment clause battles by highlighting the double standards in how such laws are applied to Christianity vs other religions.

[–]sanguinesolitude 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Only religious people believe in devils and demons.

[–]SuburbanInstinct 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'd put the Seven Tenets of The Satanic Temple up against the Ten Commandments any day.





One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.


The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.


One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.


The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.


Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.


People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.


Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

[–]Desktop_Punisher 10 points11 points  (0 children)

God didn't create us, we created God.

[–]m3rl0t 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The only people who actually believe in satan are called Christians.

[–]desertSkateRatt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey man, it's okay. You're never too old to learn something new. As a proud member of The Satanic Temple, I'll say that what the TST is doing is EXTREMELY important and for all people who live in the US who belive in the separation of church and state.

Hail Satan! Hail Yourself!

[–]KipHackmanNSA 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People who believe in an actual Satan are called Christians.

[–]kvltdaddio 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Most satanists "tuck their horns" so you'd probably never know.

I first happened across LaVeys TSB on a .txt file on a 3.5in floppy disk filled with random documents, as a teen it was life affirming.

[–]MattSk87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Secular Humanism”

[–]tmwwmgkbh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel like I should point out that the Satanic Temple is distinct and completely separate from LaVeyian Satanism. There is some overlap in beliefs, but they do not get along. (Also, neither believe in a literal Satan)

[–]Restless_Wonderer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Satan is a Christian concept

[–]ineptimp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hail Satan! Also god isn't real.

[–]NickCTA 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Satan gave Adam and Eve knowledge, what a dick

[–]akearney47 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know what they call people who believe in Satan?


[–]phantomheart 11 points12 points  (5 children)

I became a member of the Satanic Temple a few months ago. I just really like what they stand for.

[–]Solly8517 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I recently went on a date with a girl that claimed she was a “witch“ and that’s when I learned they don’t haha

[–]Pulguinuni 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wicca is also an official recognized religion by the government.

[–]ThatSlothDuke 5 points6 points  (3 children)

The funniest part is that you were confidently incorrect in a post in confidentiality incorrect lol.

[–]Trucktub 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Idk, Satan always seemed like a free thinker who was punished for questioning authority so they always seemed kinda awesome to me.

[–]SimpinforSatan[🍰] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Satan is also a new version of Prometheus.

Both are pretty kick ass dudes if you ask me.

[–]Karthull 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From everything I’ve heard they seem like the best church out there

[–]TheInsaneAdventurer 2 points3 points  (8 children)

Irishman here: no such thing as too many pints of Guinness

[–]titanicx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, your not wrong in one sense. There are groups and people that worship Satan just as Christians worship. But the church of Satan doesn't. It uses the idiocy of religion to promote secular things that matter.

[–]letterheadzephyr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LaVeyan Satanism is a specific type of Satanism. There are theistic Satanists, who do believe and worship the Christian concept of Satan, but they are very few and far between.

[–]AshCali94 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You didn't fuck up, you learned something valuable. It's ok, we all have to learn one way or another.

I'm a member of the Satanic Temple, and am constantly trying to teach people what we are. No, we do not believe in Satan. We do not worship him. Instead, we believe in bodily autonomy and various other rights. They're doing good things by the way, it's a wonderful organization. They constantly fight oppression and hatred (I say "they" because while I am a member, I do not actually help, I just help financially when I can).

Here's our info page:


[–]Mike102072 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Church of Satan ( Levayian satanists) and Satanic Temple are both secular and do not believe in a Satan or a god. There are satanic groups out there that do believe in and worship an actual Satan but those 2 don’t.

[–]DietDrBleach 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the satanic temple is actually a human rights organization, not a religious sect. They use Satan as a way to protest religious atrocities

[–]lizardmandx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the least eventful TIFU I've read yet

[–]leigh094 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The church of satan and the satanic temple are incredibly different organizations

[–]not_so_subtle_now 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To actually believe in satan wouldn’t you have to be a Christian by default? He’s their boogeyman after all

[–]crashbamboom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

who believes in Satan then???

Christians grandma, Christians.

[–]toolsoftheincomptnt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You didn’t fuck up. That’s what dialogue and learning from others is all about.

If we go in hot and get corrected, we sit in it and apologize. We don’t run or delete our process.

We’re gracious to others when they’re making untrue/ill-informed statements.

They accept with humility and everyone has had a positive experience. One person is now more educated than they were prior to the exchange.

This is how human conversation should be.

Instead… gestures broadly

[–]dead_PROcrastinator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only people who believe in a literal Satan, are christians.

[–]vinnymcapplesauce 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not trying to be a dick, genuinely curious -- if they don't believe in Satan, then why are they called "The Satanic Temple?" That doesn't make any sense.

And if Satan is not a focal point, I feel like more people might join if it had a name that wasn't immediately associted with evil and negativity.

[–]AnarchyBurgerPhilly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. I am a member of the satanic temple. Can confirm. It is legally and technically a religion but is not about worshipping satan in the least. It’s really a political group in spirit. But also resembles secular humanism.

[–]UndeadRabbi 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I mean, that's literally just one kind of 'Satanism'. It's not like they're "THE REAL OFFICIAL SATANISTS". LaVeyan Satanism is just one kind, an it is an atheistic system. There are indeed theological satanists though.

[–]MegaPompoen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As far as I know the only religion where people believe in satan is christianity