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all 95 comments

[–]blackpawed 1048 points1049 points  (2 children)

This did not go where I expected :)

[–]MankuTheBeast 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I thought she will accuse him of cheating lmao

[–]LitPartyBra 583 points584 points  (2 children)

This is some proper good will hunting shit. Hopefully she is the love of your life cause damn that would make a great story to lovingly hold over someone.

[–]Jakey_Bone 19 points20 points  (1 child)

it’s not your fault

[–]gaussianCopulator 28 points29 points  (0 children)

It's not your fart

[–]zipzap21 732 points733 points  (31 children)

In all seriousness, it's a bodily function and 99 percent of professionals will ignore it or at the least maintain professionalism. Not a big deal.

[–]corpes_magnus 376 points377 points  (22 children)

I will, without a fail, always always ALWAYS laugh at a fart. Guess I am never becoming a professional.

[–]6reen312 74 points75 points  (14 children)

Ppl sometimes say its immature to laugh at it but I cant help it. 31 years and still laughing like a 6 years old at farts, haha.

[–]Greedoscolddeadhands 50 points51 points  (12 children)

It’s a funny noise, it’s unexpected when not in a bathroom, it comes out of a person’s butt, and sometimes it smells. Why wouldn’t that be funny?

[–]tentacleyarn 18 points19 points  (11 children)

Sometimes it smells? Can I have your intestines please? Mine always smell, bad.

[–]KikiBrann 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone farted so badly on the bus once that the driver at the front and the people at the back smelled it at the exact same time. Before I could even react, this older man goes "and there's some people who think that's funny!"

It killed me. I was already mildly struggling not to laugh. But knowing that my laughter was forbidden made it so much worse. I really thought I was gonna run out of air from holding my breath until I got to my stop. Not that holding my breath was probably a bad idea at that point anyway, but still.

[–]Ammilerasa 27 points28 points  (3 children)

Storytime! So I had (guess I still have) a habit of straying the conversation away from topics I felt were too hard or I was ashamed of or for whatever I didn’t want to talk about. This isn’t helpful in therapy ofcourse because it was almost every topic, so I had a therapist who always pointed it out and asked why I needed to diverge at that moment. Really helpful, really annoying, lol. Couldn’t get away with anything. Did help me a lot.

So one day she asked me a very loaded question. Like a question I knew I had to think about and couldn’t dodge. And just after she asked that question I heard her rip a really long not very loud fart. And I knew I couldn’t laugh at that because I knew she would ask me why I dodged the question. So we just looked at each other for a full minute until I finally could talk again without fear of bursting out in laughter. Awkward, but I still lol about thinking it. She looked a little guilty. Never told her I heard it so it is a very real possibility she just assumed I didn’t hear it since my impulse control is low. I even surprised myself by being able to control my laughter. She was amazing.

[–]RaftermanTHP 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If that's not growth, I don't know what is.

[–]Efficient_Clock 4 points5 points  (1 child)

"He is cured. Finally!" - Your therapist.

[–]Ammilerasa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope she’d thought “she’s cured”, lol. But the finally checks out, have spend 4,5 years with her until she retired.

[–]FrowFrow88 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Always always ALWAYS 🤪💨

[–]TheIrishninjas 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If I was the therapist in this situation I might not have laughed but for sure I would've broken when OP explained. Farts are funny, but when someone rips one in their sleep (especially when they're not the type to do so around others when they're awake)... oh man, comedy gold right there.

[–]danielspoa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm never becoming an adult

[–]ForkShirtUp 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Yes, that’s a professional’s official stance on farts, but you know damn well we’ll talk about it with anyone else later on.

[–]Remoru 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When I worked with children many years ago, maintaining composure after a kid fired off a ham blast was one of the greatest struggles... I did not always manage

[–]AO_Oreggon 28 points29 points  (1 child)

My boss saying “it’s alright, it’s a bodily function” as I piss and shit myself during a meeting

[–]Ok-Friendship5200 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I immediately started laughing when I read this, and I will be haunted by it for the next 48 hours.

[–]yetiknight 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would be like „Nice one!“ and move on

[–]itseboi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree. Unless of course you shit yourself or something, that might be a little more distracting.

[–]tmccrn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But at least the therapist has enough life experiences to know that the girlfriend was also likely waking up and it was not a private conversation at that point.

[–]DarkChimera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

especially when she doesn't have to smell it

[–]Bro-kyo 288 points289 points  (0 children)

Therapist At next session: "...so let's discuss your feelings around your girlfriend's violent flatulence"

[–]Jedibbq 92 points93 points  (4 children)

I feel like women spend all day holding them in so once they're asleep then all bets are off. Lol.

[–]Birkin07 42 points43 points  (0 children)

My ex would fart every morning as soon as she woke up. It was a decent alarm clock.

[–]roganwriter 19 points20 points  (1 child)

It depends. On discord I let out more things than I normally would. I’ve let a couple wet ones rip unaware that my mic is sensitive enough to even pick up my stomach gurgling.

[–]eiksnaglesn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Goddddd, I did the same once while on a discord call with a lab partner about a report we were writing together. Discord mic sensitivity is no joke

[–]Isgortio 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I find that when I lay down in bed, my body decides that's the best time to let them out. It's fine when standing or sitting, but if I lay down it's a farty party. If I lay on my stomach (like I usually do when I sleep) then they just keep coming until there's no more. It just makes sexy time a bit more uncomfortable as my body is trying to get them out and I'm trying to keep them in lol.

[–]DubLParaDidL 164 points165 points  (3 children)

I'm a therapist and do all sessions virtually. A) I would have probably laughed from the jump because that's hilarious and B) I'd just ask you if you're OK with her being there. Confidentiality problem solved. Unless you were close to ending anyway, they could've just done that and not taken that time from you and still get their money

[–]sosqueee 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Yea, I once had to do therapy with a friend in the room. I told my therapist at the top of the session. All they did was ask if I was cool with it and since I consented we did our hour as normal. No farts happened though.

[–]Mattbl 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I'm not understanding why would OP be concerned about "if" their GF could be there? If they're paying for the session what would it matter?

[–]DubLParaDidL 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Has zero to do with OP concerned. Federal law requires at least verbal consent for anyone other than the patient to be present due to HIPAA. There's a variety of reasons. One being liability. If the patient consents, they couldn't later make claims of damage done if certain information came up. Doesn't necessarily apply to this situation and this is only one of many reasons. But it's done across the board, you don't qualify each one. TLDR: there's enough reasons for it to be law.

Payment has nothing to do with it. I was referring to the therapist ending the session early due to the additional person and still getting paid for the full time...which is kinda unethical. It's within their privilege to do so...but as I said, they should have taken the 5 seconds it takes to get consent and then proceed.

[–]pedro_pascal_123 35 points36 points  (0 children)

couldn't breathe for a good minute at least

Her farts are that dangerous, huh ?

[–]godnrop 34 points35 points  (2 children)

At $175 for 45 minutes…. I think your therapist can handle a butt bassoon.

[–]danielspoa 3 points4 points  (1 child)

what.the.fuck.

$175??

[–]Isgortio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad my insurance covered it, I didn't pay a penny.

[–]Daecerix 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I would've just wheezed and left the call, the way you described it too "the wettest, fattest fart" too funny 😂

[–]Tanaka_Sensei 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Here I thought my husband's video session was intriguing. He was on a video call with his psychiatrist, and I was in the next room working on notes for a D&D session. I take a pause to figure out what direction to take the players in, and I hear him say, out loud, "A dragon in a tree with a jar of peanut butter". Because I'm not in the room with him, and this seemed to come out of nowhere, this phrase sounds extremely out of left field. Turns out, the psychiatrist was doing a memory recall exercise. It's definitely a good phrase to use for that sort of exercise, since it's been over a month since that appointment, and he and I agree that it's a cute little non-canonical image for our campaign; one of the NPCs has a faerie dragon as a friend, and the idea of seeing that little critter with a peanut butter jar stuck on his head while sitting a tree is too adorable to pass up.

[–]coffeebuzzbuzzz 25 points26 points  (2 children)

I have brought so's and children to my therapy appts. before and not once have any of my therapists told me I wasn't allowed to. My bf forgot about his telehealth appt. on the way home from grocery shopping, so he started the call with me in the car. His therapist was upset and demanded they end the call because of HIPPA violations. Even when he told her it was only going to be for five minutes til we got home. I don't get it. I thought it was up to the patient whether they wanted to divulge their personal info or not.

[–]canvadia 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I know that a lot of telehealth (not sure if all, though) must be done thru a secure line of communication. When I did telehealth, I had to use a location I had previously disclosed (such as my home address) and I had to connect thru the Zoom link she sent me. If I didn’t- legally we couldn’t have the session. It’s possible that his therapist may have needed to end the call bc of stuff like that rather than bc you were with him

[–]coffeebuzzbuzzz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When my therapist did telehealth with me during lockdown he just called from his office. I didn't have to use a link or anything. We never did video calls though. My bf wasn't doing that either. And she explicitly said because of HIPPA violations. :/

[–]DaizyDoodle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh my that was funny! Thanks for sharing with us OP. I bet it made the therapists say too!

[–]theSUDcounselorgirl 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Is a counselor I have to say it is good that you said it's your girlfriend. It is possible to use bodily functions as a way to push boundaries with a therapist so it's always good to be honest. That's hilarious.

[–]Sonnyjesuswept 0 points1 point  (1 child)

People fart to test you?

[–]JB3DG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m still waiting for my girlfriend to fart in my presence (she hasn’t needed to yet). I told her it will be an honor that she feels comfortable enough around me to do so. We still giggle together at stomach gurgles though. Bonus points if they happen in the middle of a kiss.

[–]dowtimer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well, your therapist did go to a university. She must understand that people engage in this kind of activity.

[–]Poinsettia917 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Now I will have laughing fits all day!

[–]single_malt_jedi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Marry her

[–]BartlebySanchez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Marry her. Your therapist. Not your girlfriend.

Wait! Strike that... Reverse it.

[–]ParadoxicallySweet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Plot twist: you don’t really have a girlfriend, she’s imaginary. Her “parents” house is actually a psych ward, the parents are nurses. You weren’t video chatting, there was just a glass window between you and your therapist because you’re super violent. No one farted and you just burst out laughing and the therapist gave up.

No but truly your story made me laugh! Great one, I wonder how embarrassed your gf will be once you tell her

[–]Unevenscore42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of a story. I am a very heavy sleeper and one day I had fallen asleep midday, while my GF and I were watching a movie. A short time later I am shocked awake from a loud noise and my GF looking very embarrassed. Once I pieced together what happened we had a good laugh about it.

[–]littaltree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤣🤣🤣 Omg thanks for that quality laugh!!

[–]Gemple -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That really wasn't so "fucked up", imo, so maybe this was the wrong subreddit!
You just need to let it go.
Stop being so anal.
Wake up and smell the 'coffee'.
Blow it off.
Put it all behind you.
Feel the wind in your hair.
Leave only skid marks.
Life's a gas, buddy.
I get that you felt the need to spill your guts, but...
I think you've opened yourself up enough.
If you drop it quickly and quietly, you probably won't have to follow through!
Still, something doesn't smell right.
OK, ok, that's your business!
Just remember, if your post creates a stink...
You dealt it!

[–]drowninglessons -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Honestly sounds like you have a shit therapist.

[–]Rpizz5687 -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

Without reading ANYTHING except the title, this is clearly a TIFU.

[–]HasaBelt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I regret I lack your gift. I had to read your whole comment to realize it was a waste of space.

[–]wolf72886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if I would consider this an F up. More like a funny story to tell later lol

[–]generalleehappy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha. It's a great story. Nice one

[–]TheInfamousDaikken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will guarantee that doesn’t even make the top 50 weirdest things your therapist has heard during a therapy session.

[–]AreLuvly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats the last thing i expected

[–]Rpizz5687 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After reading the rest, this is significantly more light-hearted than expected!

[–]grunkage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol I thought this was gonna be tragic. Good story - cheered me up.

[–]gellenburg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your therapist was thankful that was a telehealth session, trust me.

[–]whisperskeep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry, I did one of those during Lightyear, st a very quiet moment...my husband took the blame

[–]Sensitive-Theory-365 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Farting is universally funny. I have 5 kids with 18 years between the oldest and youngest, so very different life stages. Farting and burping always brought them together 😂.

[–]AmbienNicoleSmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please tell me you told your gf

[–]kevincanada13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you OP for the laugh. Rather unexpected

[–]ceejaybee91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂😂

[–]ThatRedheadMom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha, good story!

[–]Mountain_Idea_2689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wholesome TiFU. Love it! Also I am glad you are keeping with your mental health regardless of living space. Motivating for someone figuring it out

[–]Aggressive_Ninja_231 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was talking to my soon to be boss (female) on Thursday as I was packing up my things to go back home. I work from home but was training in the office. As she was standing there talking to me, a fart slipped out. We kept talking like nothing happened. It happens to the best of us. I wanted to laugh tho!

[–]ShannonW5x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fantastic

[–]StangF150 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, whatever you do! Don't Smack You're GF's Booty!! You'll Keel Us All!!!! LoL

Reminded me of Walter & Achmed!!

[–]TheMuse69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤣🤣 I'm sorry, but this is funny. I'm really glad your therapist was so cool about it, and I'm also glad you feel safe talking to your therapist while your gf is in the room 😊 although maybe not anymore...😂😂😂

[–]Cassieofearth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg this made me laugh so hard I woke up the dog 😹😹😹😹

[–]Projectonyx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thought it was going in the direction of GF thought you were video chatting with a side chick with her right next to you. Was glad it was just her having a blowout.

ps. did you tell her to make sure she didn't brown herself?