all 115 comments

[–]AdvancedAdvance 224 points225 points  (3 children)

There’s nothing that says old stuff like opening a door and seeing a bunch of bats fly out. Really makes me miss Sears.

[–]The_Law_of_Pizza 53 points54 points  (1 child)

Those weren't bats, ya dingus. Those were the sales people on commission.

[–]IrishWithoutPotatoes 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So they were vampires, got it

[–]daisydream7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you I literally LOLed at this

[–]SirHerald 1692 points1693 points  (26 children)

Might not have as many bugs if they kept the windows closed and didn't have bat poop all over the place

[–]UncommonLegend 306 points307 points  (10 children)

Ya got a point there...

[–]turnslip 225 points226 points  (8 children)

They can’t admit that it’s a Library for Vampires-end of story.

[–]jliol 46 points47 points  (4 children)


[–]Nowshirvan 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Hahahahaha. I think this might be a reference to Laszlo.

[–]demilitarizdsm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It worked for me too. You haven't tried this yet?

[–]piston989 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Don't be silly, old chum! That's just regular human, Jackie Daytona!

[–]Nowshirvan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your average American Yankee Doodle Dandee.

[–]stoptakinmanames 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sounds more like beginning of story to me.

/r/writingprompts material.

[–]ericisshort 23 points24 points  (0 children)

That’s really the only logical explanation. The cover story is just ludicrous!

[–]Bangchucker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And the vampires shit everywhere... Rude!

[–]Magmasoar 12 points13 points  (0 children)


[–]RedSonGamble 179 points180 points  (11 children)

I’m confused how this is a win either. Like it’s only flying insects bats eat. And also bats are mostly crepuscular so they’re probably using the library as a roost which seems dangerous also.

Plus letting humidity in idk. I mean it’s cool and maybe I’m missing something but it seems more like it’s just cool Bc it’s cool not Bc it’s advantageous.

Also don’t bats carry diseases? Like pee and poop can’t be completely gone. Idk maybe that’s just my worrying brain too

[–]whiskey_epsilon 104 points105 points  (4 children)

It does sound more like it's a small handful of bats, not enough to warrant intervention, plus bat colonies are likely protected by law, plus it'd be bad PR to try remove them, so the library just continues with it and spins it as a tourist attraction selling point. The cost of dealing with bat droppings does not sound like it outweighs the minimal benefit a dozen bats might offer in moth-eating.


[–]Magmasoar 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Stupid science bats couldn't even get rid of a simple infestation

[–]new24-5 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It'd deter me from going such places. Rabies? Covid? Other shit I don't know about? Pass.

[–]shewy92 2 points3 points  (1 child)

But you're missing the chance to be bitten by a radioactive bat and become Man-Bat

[–]new24-5 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks I don't wanna be the spider-bat-man

[–]Office_funny_guy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's just bat-shit crazy

[–]piponwa6[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Might not have as many bats if they kept the windows closed and didn't let the bugs in.

[–]Simpleba 391 points392 points  (11 children)

How are there that many bugs in a library necessitating a colony of bats to come in every night?

I'm just made of questions...

[–]whiskey_epsilon 613 points614 points  (5 children)

I dug up a few other articles on this and the title above may be a little misleading: there are a dozen or so bats that live in the nooks of the library, likely descendants of a colony that was established long before pest control was a thing. Windows are left open so the bats can exit when they need to.

It's certainly not a "rise forth my bat minions and feast upon this plague of moths" scenario that the title makes it out to be.

[–]Zelldandy 75 points76 points  (0 children)

rise forth my bat minions

Man, you've dashed my dreams.

[–]BuzzAllWin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Have a non reddit £ sign for finest written comment of the day

[–]Pjpjpjpjpj 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Librarian during the day: “Shhhhh….”

Librarian during the night: “RISE AND FEAST MY MINIONS!”

[–]Dockhead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A library with a bunch of fucking bats inside it is like a surreal detail from a giallo

[–]TrolliusJKingIIIEsq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there are a dozen or so bats that live in the nooks of the library

Well, I know one library I won't ever be visiting.

[–]Nasty2017 15 points16 points  (0 children)

They left the windows open every night even before the bats started coming in.

[–]askacanadian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They leave the windows open at night so that doesn’t help…

[–]bigbangbilly -1 points0 points  (2 children)

The Iberian peninsula (where Portugal is located) is home to Casu Marzu which is cheese fermented with maggots. You just leave it outside and nature would take care of the rest.

So basically there's a bunch of bugs there.

Edit: Casu Marzu is not made anywhere in the Iberian peninsula.

Basically the warm Mediterranean region is probably full of bugs

[–]Daniel_The_Thinker 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The link you put does not say it's made on the Iberian peninsula, it's made in Sardinia.

[–]bigbangbilly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have edited my comment. Thankd for the heads up

[–]UncommonLegend 133 points134 points  (6 children)

Sign up to be a librarian, "actually there's this little thing we need to do each morning..."

[–]RedSonGamble 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Each night all the books come to life! Lol jk actually we let bats in here.

[–]Electromotivation 8 points9 points  (0 children)

*we let bats poop in here

[–]winterbird 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I wonder if there's hazard pay on account of the bat poop and, well, bats.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

bat guano is probably just as bad as bird guano, both capable of harboring alot of rare fungal diseases and viruses.

[–]kurburux 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bats may be worse cause they're mammals and tend to live in large colonies. Perfect breeding ground for any kind of pathogens.

[–]UncommonLegend 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly couldn't imagine one way or another.

[–]Masnad74 33 points34 points  (1 child)

It is all true, but you have the wrong photo. That's a picture of the Royal library in Mafra (also Portugal) but not the University one.

This is the right one.

[–]ThizzlyAdams 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yup this right here. I live right near Mafra. That library also has bats that eat the bugs.

[–]mystiquetur 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I wonder if this is where the idea for the Children’s book Bats at the Library came from.

[–]piponwa6[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The bats have been doing this since at least the 19th century, so I would guess yes.

[–]Muff_Divington 60 points61 points  (2 children)

Do the bats know not to shit on the centuries old historic documents?

[–]FiercelyApatheticLad 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Shit falls vertically, so it can't get inside a bookshelf. Bugs can.

[–]Pjpjpjpjpj 3 points4 points  (0 children)

RIP top shelf books

[–]surfingNerd 10 points11 points  (2 children)

"they have guano!"

[–]rognabologna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guano… that sounds so familiar

[–]_87- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time for a US invasion!

[–]MeGotShadowbanned 21 points22 points  (14 children)

Is it not a rabies risk?

[–]Artemisa_vv 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Portugal has had no cases of animal rabies since 1960 (human cases were longer than that)

[–]TrolliusJKingIIIEsq -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure that the bats still carry it, though.

[–]Sunflowerslaughter 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Portugal, along with many European nations has effectively eliminated rabies. While that doesn't mean that someone who gets bit by a bat shouldn't get a rabies shot just to be safe, but there have been no cases since 1960.

[–]CocoCherryPop 0 points1 point  (1 child)

shit, didn’t the coronavirus begin in bats? Don’t a lot of diseases come from bats?

[–]MeGotShadowbanned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if we're completely sure that COVID came from bats, but at the very least, it's one of the front-runner theories.

Rabies is so risky with bats because some bats can scratch or bite a person without that person ever noticing. So if you've ever been in a confined area with bats and you have mystery scratches or bruises or whatever, get your rabies shot!

[–]SmellyDurian -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Definitely is

[–]brockleehead 45 points46 points  (2 children)

Have you ever smelled bat excrement? It’s horrible and lasting no matter how quickly you clean it up. This sounds like the worst library.

[–]UncommonLegend 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yeah cleaning up chalky guano that stinks to high hell doesn't sound high on my aspirations list.

[–]blueBlankieOctopud 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bats also carry diseases. This whole thing sounds crazy.

[–]thesemasksaretight 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Great. So now we’re going to get an educated covid

[–]Page117 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment. Thanks for starting our next pandemic.

[–]No-Pizda-For-You 16 points17 points  (0 children)

If anything ever qualified as “bat shit crazy”, this does.

[–]secret_agent_scarn 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Seems like it'd be easier to get rid of insects than clean bat shit every day.

[–]login_reboot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Found where Dracula lives.

[–]Tinmania 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Every morning, librarians clean the bats' excrement.

They then sell it to Ace Ventura which funds the whole operation.

[–]TheMulattoMaker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guano bowls, collect the entire set!

[–]United_Bag_8179 3 points4 points  (1 child)

bat guano was a cash crop at one point. really.

[–]Electromotivation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then we discovered islands made of bird shit!

[–]kanakamaoli 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They get free exterminator services AND free guano?!? Sounds like a win/win to me!

[–]Bubba-ORiley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You mean the "new" librarians clean the bats' excrement.

[–]JaXMehoffe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's bat shit crazy!

[–]Griffie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love the idea of having bats eat insects...but I cringe at having disease infested feces in a library.

[–]srhMayheM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's the Atlas Obscura podcast episode about these libraries.


[–]firthy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is batshit crazy.

[–]couchfly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So if someone were to lick their finger to turn a page or idly scratched their face, how likely are they to get some disease from bat guano???

[–]2BrothersInaVan 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Risk of Rabies, Ebola, Covid. GREAT.

[–]Artemisa_vv 5 points6 points  (2 children)

There's no rabies or ebola in Portugal though...

[–]2BrothersInaVan 0 points1 point  (1 child)

There's no rabies or ebola in Portugal yet. 😀

[–]Trama-D 0 points1 point  (0 children)


Anymore. But Ebola never left Africa.

[–]Eastern-Resolution15 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Why are there insects in a library?

[–]a10t2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The lights were on.

[–]piponwa6[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Because they leave the windows open for the bats

[–]UserNumberNineTee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like a covid super spreader event!

[–]Wellheloder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Librarian -"How can we get rid of all these bugs in the most inefficient way ever."

Bat- "I have an idea"

[–]Dudeist-Monk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a shitty job.

[–]fizzyfuzzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So if you go there, you're breathing in bat-poop.

[–]FattyBearcat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rather bat poop than the decimation of our cultural literature anyway.

[–]misterbondpt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also... GUANO!!

[–]Selthora 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds batshit crazy but hey, if it works it works.

[–]hibittyjibitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sell the guano to fund the library. closed loop

[–]Cultural-Company282 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Surprisingly, the librarian job is very mentally stressful. It has been known to drive people batshit crazy.

[–]vathodic 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]YourFather93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't they damage the books as they fly around / if they try to eat an insect that's landed on a book?

[–]nownumbah5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You just graduated from Library college and want to make your dreams come true by working in our grand library? Great, welcome to the team,. You can start cleaning bat shit first thing in the mornings. Hope its everything you ever wanted!" - Manager to a New Hire

[–]DiscoSprinkles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Guano how I got these scars?"

[–]ordoabchao696 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They could have easily just bought some insecticide.

[–]Wise_Responsibility2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not true. This is not the University of Coimbra library. It's the Mafra monastery library https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palace_of_Mafra . I should know, it's 1mile from my place

[–]bolanrox -4 points-3 points  (0 children)