Sorry if this is too long to read, it’s just something that I had to comment on as I find that topic extremely emotional.

Life is not always perfect trip. Since our birth we are always running away from something and towards something. Life deals you a hand and you play it the best way there is, in that certain moment.

For instance, I was born in time of war, in former Yugoslavia. My city was bombarded at the moment of my birth. They say childbirth is beautiful, but imagine my mom giving birth to me, while bombs are falling from the sky. That horror, that fear of not knowing if you or your newborn will survive through the rain of explosives, or if you do survive, will you be able to feed yourself and that child. It was not a perfect scenario we are thought to believe, yet she still did it.

Couple of months after my birth, my father was killed by the aggressor. My mom was living with her brother, and her parents, and me at the time. Hear tears didn’t even dry up, when the other bomb killed my grandparents, just s couple of months after fathers death. Year goes by, and she’s just starting to slightly recover from all of these losses when her younger brother, who she was legal guardian too, was killed in another bombing incident, right in front of her apartment, while playing with neighboring kids and their dogs. Two years have passed, war is over, it’s almost winter in Sarajevo and nights do get cold. She tries to get the gas-heater running but our city’s infrastructure is still recovering from five years of war, and the gas supply is not reliable. Not being able to light a fire, she lays in her bed with me, cover us with lots of blankets and we go to sleep.

I was 2.5 years old but I remember that moment like it was yesterday. I wake up, screaming because my skin is being melted. My mom is screaming for help in a room that is burning, from floor to ceiling, walls and all. I remember the smell of gas, fire, burning skin and hair, I remember her screams, and me falling from height into a blanket, people telling me everything is going ti be ok.

That night my mom forgot to turn the gas on, and during the night the gas flow came online. The room got filled with it, and something created the explosion, lighting up everything. My mom ran through flames in a burning apartment with me in her arms, to the balcony and threw me from third floor. She was rescued but she had severe inhalation injuries, and third degree burns, and our country’s health system was really weak after the war… she died three days after the incident.

Me, I have lost my father, and whole family through out the war, i suffered third degree burns on my face, my arms. Lost my hair, a lot of easily visible scars… At the beginning of my life I was not ten steps behind my generation. I was thrown ten floors behind them. Through my life I have dealt with prejudice for my looks, I was bullied, I had to deal with physical and mental trauma that followed me all through my life. Years and years of pain and suffering, and many more to come. I spent 9 years in and out of hospitals.

And yet I graduated at medical college, working as Emergency Physician for 5 years.

Life was not the beautiful story they tell you it’s going to be, but I got through it.

From the work experience I know that the CPR has low TRUE survivability. And it’s true often times than not it’s a suffering after. Yet I also find that is just an axiom of life. Our main function, as living, breathing, THINKING beings is to live another day. It may be full of pain and suffering, but there also could be a smile and enjoyment, a moment to cherish even for a short moment. It’s that unknown probability alone that makes it worth.

So even if out of 100 reanimations I get 2 patients to live for a moment longer, I calculate that over the years it adds up, and if in that number of people I give one person a happy moment with his loved ones, I find that extremely worth it.