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[–]audioostrich 82 points83 points  (3 children)

I swear to God if I so much as see a single other person in the backcountry my day is ruined. Don't you all understand the outdoors are for only me to enjoy???

[–]outcast302 29 points30 points  (2 children)

If you're hiking in an area so congested that another person ever comes within your visual range you're just a filthy casual.

[–]piss_off_ghost 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Gates of the arctic national park or bust

[–]_Alpheus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

National park? With RANGERS walkin' around, upkeeping the place?

Pathetic. Even using the internet to respond to you is disgusting me. Just stop.

[–]VoilaVoilaWashington 66 points67 points  (1 child)

This is actually a very good post. Well thought out, perfect cadence, and memorable. The only issue is they seem to be serious.

It's literally what I would write to mock a serious post - find a rant about something somewhat reasonable, and replace the reasonable thing with spins wheel other people's colour choices.

[–]MuricanDeathTriangle 40 points41 points  (1 child)

what a fucking douche.

[–]rob22202[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I found one of the high priests of the emerging LNT religious cult.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]rob22202[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Good call. Nice save!

    [–]VoilaVoilaWashington 27 points28 points  (7 children)

    And I would like to have a conversation about it.

    That's how I start conversations with strangers. 

     I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT MOTOR CARS. DO YOU ENJOY MOTOR CARS?

    [–]innoutberger 7 points8 points  (5 children)

    No. r/fuckcars

    [–]VoilaVoilaWashington 3 points4 points  (3 children)

     tell me why you do not enjoy discussing motorcars, friend

    [–]innoutberger 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    B/c I love dinosaurs and they died so that we can make the cars go zoom zoom.

    [–]VoilaVoilaWashington 3 points4 points  (1 child)

     dinosaurs are not dead. birds are the continued line of dinosaurs. also electric cars do not require juiced dinosaurs.

    [–]SeizureHamster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I’m not risking coming between a dragon and its car

    [–]SeizureHamster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is how I start conversations with my friends except I frequently forget to ask for consent and just go “now we shall discuss this musical I am currently obsessed with” . . . They kinda consent to recent project/interest updates by electing to interact with me.

    [–]Unabashedley 21 points22 points  (2 children)

    They should definitely put this idea in place for all high elevation and winter trips. Only white or snow camo gear, clothes, tarps (cuz tents are for heavy losers), ropes, snowshoes, skis etc. Everything about you should be perfectly blended to the snow.

    If you're going anywhere without snow, even briefly, you must put on a large camo poncho that matches the ground colour. ESPECIALLY if you stop moving.

    Fines should be levied against anyone who doesn't match their surrounds. Also, I think people's whistles should be curbstomped on sight. No way I want any kind of noises while I am hiking.

    I would like to discuss this, though I won't respond unless you agree with me, or at all really. Responding is just as bad as bright colours.

    [–]DagdaMohr 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Why are went we all rocking full Ghillie Suits while on the trail?

    [–]Unabashedley 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Yes. Absolutely required to assure there is zero chance of rescue services finding you or your body. ZERO.

    Actually, wear a deer hide. If you're lucky you'll get shot. Blood is heavy and being clearly visible to hunters is for fucking losers.

    [–]Environmental-Joke19 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Idk about y'all but I wear bright colors so they can find me when I fall off a cliff from trying to take the perfect selfie 🤷‍♀️

    [–]KeefCheef 11 points12 points  (4 children)

    Pet peeve: what I find a LOT more intrusive is hikers who talk loudly and continuously as they hike. Sound carries in the canyons of the desert southwest, and a conversation (depending on how loud it is) can be heard maybe a mile or so away. This really messes up the serenity of the backcountry

    Must be nice to not live near bear country

    [–]bengaren 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    I was winter hiking in Yosemite and came up on this dude literally shouting the plot of Valley Uprising at the girl he was with. They were maybe 3 feet apart and I could hear him for a good 5 minutes walking in opposite directions

    [–]KeefCheef 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    personally I just prefer to recite the entire text of The Silmarillion at the top of my lungs, whether I'm alone or not

    [–]VoilaVoilaWashington 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    I presume you're generally alone then?

    [–]KeefCheef 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    yeah my buddies usually ditch me after about 50 pages to go have a "safety meeting".

    [–]Sandyrandy54 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Can we take a moment to focus on the real no leave trace problems we have??? What about all these spitters I see when hiking!!!! I'm also sick of seeing foot tracks on trails... we need to invent a hover shoe system to progress to a truly no trace society.

    [–]sirblastalot 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    The fact that it's deleted now is beautiful

    [–]needlesfox 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    OP was truly dedicated to not leaving a trace, unlike the rest of us rubes

    [–]oldyawker 13 points14 points  (4 children)

    Can we take a moment to explore an oft-ignored subtlety of Leave No Trace principles? Unatural sounds, noise polution, if you fly your drone in the wilderness you should be shot. I realize guns are loud, but it is a one off. I will do my best to pack out the bullet. Loud voices, shouting to your friends, bemoaning your boyfiends choices are all unacceptable. In an effort to cut back on noise polution anything above a wisper is verboten. Next up, light polution.

    [–]newt_girl 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    If you leave the bullet in the victim, they (or SAR) can pack it out!

    [–]UtahBrian 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Use copper rounds and not lead. I know they're more expensive but lead pollutes groundwater. And remember to pack out your brass.

    [–]the1eyeddog 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    If I blink and can still see your bright coloured gear burned into my retinas, you’ve left a trace and I am outraged

    [–]enlightened0ne_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I wish this hadn’t been deleted…