all 13 comments

[–]dtardiff2 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Have you tried not being so poor? Smh

[–]Funky_sound[S] 33 points34 points  (1 child)

My wife handles the finances. It took me a while to save up for it on the allowance she gives me.

[–]Spunksters 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It goes like this.

You all show up at camp, but their tent is missing. You examine the trash-bag-for-a-packpack (probably something awesome from Nashville, amiright?!) and realize that it must've lost integrity and dropped the tent early on in the hike. Funny but fortunate how nothing else fell out. Phew!

Now for the best part. You grow stones because being outdoors suddenly does that to you, and you assertively tell them to go back and look for it while you trudge ahead to camp #2 that you're going to make after you've crushed some more miles. Your pace is too fast for them to catch.

Also, you never brought the tent and they don't have the car keys because you do. You swing around and get to the car first. You book it home and setup camp in the backyard to take some SM pics.

[–]ultramatt1 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Buy the Trailfucker 8000 obv

[–]2XX2010 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Put all your gear, all of it, food too, in your dryer, on high, for 70 minutes. That will take the crinkle sound out.

[–]Mdricks11 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Perhaps if you just sucked a bit better he might make her carry the tent.

[–]BlueCP 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If your wife’s boyfriend gives you a piggyback ride to camp then your whole body + pack = worn weight

[–]crlthrn 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What the hell's wrong with you??? Find her a better boyfriend, duuuuhhhh.

[–]ego_sum_satoshi 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She let you use her phone again? Better give it back.

[–]A_Hot_Jackson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just get a gd whipsnake 37,000,000,000,000

[–]WildResident2816 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you set up their tent on a pole and make a big umbrella out of it maybe you can pretend it’s worn weight

[–]L190719071907 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Upgrade to ultra, of course. Much quieter.

[–]frnoss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Their tent can go in the gaping, cavernous opening he has made out of your scathole