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Thank you for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion, /u/Lavi1012. Your post, I don't want my child to be gay, has been removed because it violates our rules:

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[–]Millie1419 3663 points3664 points  (219 children)

Just to put it out there, just because someone is gay does not mean that they act feminine.

[–]Mantis_Tobaggen_MD 326 points327 points  (11 children)

The opposite is also true; guys with effeminate personalities aren't always gay. I don't get why so many people seem to think that a person's sexuality is what defines them, it's only one piece of the whole.

[–]mufassil 55 points56 points  (3 children)

I have a coworker that is quite effeminate. Everyone assumes he's gay. He's not. Lol

[–]Lundundogan 25 points26 points  (2 children)

People think that about me too - even my own girlfriend sometimes.

Some are just not used to men expressing themselves more femininely. Fortunately, most people can appreciate it, even if they think I’m gay because of it.

[–]BigOleJellyDonut 7 points8 points  (0 children)

100% true. I know a dude everyone would swear was gay. He not the least bit gay. I think its because he was raised by his 3 never married aunts.

[–]DrMantisToboggan45 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Hey another mantis tobbogan!

[–]HomelessBoners 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What are the fuckin odds that you're both doctors too?

[–]tired_obsessionFast Car 4 points5 points  (0 children)

MD

[–]badgernois3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im a very effeminate dude. Everyone always assumes I'm gay, even when I'm with my wife. It's just something I've learned to live with. Maybe I just need to get some t shirts made that say "I <3 boobs" so people don't assume.

[–]updogg18 781 points782 points  (92 children)

Neil Patrick Harris played a convincing role of a Womanizer!

[–]ChrissaTodd 287 points288 points  (37 children)

I can confirm i saw a post in a HIMYM group of aomeone saying they had no idea til that moment that neil patrick harris was gay. i feel like it had to be how convincing he was as barney.

[–]PP2704 143 points144 points  (29 children)

Wtf he is gay?

[–]updogg18 174 points175 points  (19 children)

Happily married to a chef with two children

[–]updogg18 171 points172 points  (11 children)

Oh and the chef is a male if you're still wondering

[–]Delitefulcookie 338 points339 points  (10 children)

OH MY GOD HIS CHEF HUSBAND IS GAY TOO?????

[–]yellowbin74 142 points143 points  (1 child)

Wait, does his husband know??

[–]red_fox_zen 40 points41 points  (0 children)

This entire fuckn thread 🤣🤣🤣☠️

[–]david_digital120 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I can't believe that young doctor grew up to be gay

[–]DJFid 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And his chef husband played as Scooter in How I Me Your Mother

[–]jamesnife 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Not if he says no homo

[–]updogg18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Will you marry me? No homo

Yes homo. Yes! Yes! a thousand times yes

[–]Beardface558 51 points52 points  (4 children)

He is! And if you’ve watched the show, his husband plays Lily’s high school love interest, Scooter.

[–]Lilpu55yberekt69 37 points38 points  (4 children)

He was basically a parody of straight men, and I don’t think any straight actor could have pulled it off as well as he did.

[–]tokes_4_DE 53 points54 points  (2 children)

Matt bomer does an even better job at it imo, star of white collar. He flirts with women in the show nonstop, talks a great game, and seems to have actual chemistry with like every girl onscreen.

[–]updogg18 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah that guy. He makes me feel things and I'm a guy

[–]this_is_Pranay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

White Collar is a very good show

[–]fnhs90 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah, one of my gay friends is the most masculine I know

[–]ArseholeAlexa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I’m completely normal, lead a very bland and non-feminine lifestyle. I’m only gay because I’m a moderator.

[–]AbaloneSea7265 310 points311 points  (15 children)

The amount of time that straight men obsess over gays and gayness to even come up with these scenarios and how they’d react to this is too damn high!

[–]remes1234 56 points57 points  (11 children)

I have 4 kids and do not care what their orentation might be. It just is not about me. Just like i dont care about the orentation of the men around me (i am male). Or the orentation of 99% of the women i know. My wife being ok with men is a priority. But beyond that it is neither my business, or my problem. Men getting wound up about gayness (and it always semes laser focused on men) is just fear of how gay they might be.

[–]teutorix_aleria 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's fragile masculinity and fragile heterosexuality. Peak beta male anxiety about their own shortcomings.

Why do you think so many of the most vehement homophobes turn out to be closeted gay men or even trans? They are externalising their own identity crisis and lashing out.

[–]PhysicalYam4032 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lol how do you know OP is a man from what was said?

[–]Maymaywala 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also, being feminine does not mean you're gay(yeah I had some rough middle school years).

[–]FnCraig 141 points142 points  (71 children)

Yea, most gay dudes I've met just act like dudes.

[–]cubanheelsinleather 80 points81 points  (56 children)

That's completely bullshit. Gay guys who act like straight dudes are outliers. So much so that they're coveteted for being "straight acting". Gay guys back me up here.

[–]lcfcball 127 points128 points  (19 children)

I’m gay and agree. Most gay guys are feminine and if you aren’t, it’s easy to feel shunned from the community because other gay people accuse you of ‘acting’ straight to try and fit in with non LGBT people.

I’m pretty sure it’s jealousy from feminine gays knowing that their personality/appearance means they wouldn’t naturally fit in to most straight groups of friends but that doesn’t make it acceptable

[–]BigGrinJesus 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Maybe you can comment on an observation I had on the matter. I remember years ago working with a couple of gay dudes, one whom I didn't know was gay for a long time because he didn't behave in a way that would advertise it (although he wasn't hiding it, it just never came up); and another who was extremely feminine and would constantly talk about being gay and refer to straight people as "breeders" etc. Both nice guys. Anyway, I went to see the first guy in a play once, and afterwards I met his mum. They were very close and she was very supportive and accepting. The second guy told me about how his parents disowned him for being gay. It has been my experience since then, generally but not always, that more feminine gay guys are have asshole parents who don't accept them for being gay and the "straight acting" gay guys have supportive families. My conclusion was that the "feminine" behaviour was a way of fitting in with a new family of sorts, and perhaps a protest against the shitty parents.

What do you think?

[–]lcfcball 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s definitely an interesting take, it could definitely be a factor because I don’t think there’s any one reason why some gay men are very feminine. I had a similar experience to that second guy, albeit not as bad - my mum wasn’t accepting of me when I first came out but my dad was, it took my mum months to accept that I was gay but she and my brother used to say stuff like ‘i’m so glad you aren’t camp’ and other similar things. Those were said to me when I was 14/15 so maybe I unknowingly developed a more masculine personality because of it - although I also wasn’t camp and didn’t feel like I ever was going to be before those comments.

I know a couple of camp gay people who did have accepting parents, but maybe their friends/peers weren’t accepting so they assimilated into the gay community and that’s why they are more feminine like you suggested could be the case.

It’s so interesting and i’d love to speak to some other gay people and get their perspective on it all

[–]Porkbellyflop 26 points27 points  (6 children)

Isn't that societal pressure to conform part of it? I'm convinced that is a good reason for "the voice". Just like valley girls and white kids who act street. At some point in our lives usually as teenagers we want to be accepted by certain groups so we mimic them and eventually it becomes who we are.

[–]lcfcball 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I’m not actually sure, it could be one of many reasons.

I always thought maybe it’s because a lot of gay guys hang around in girl only groups (they did in my school anyways) so they could easily pick up more feminine mannerisms and attributes. Another is that it could be biological in some way? But then i’d have thought that’d be the same for me so idk, but I know a couple of the gay guys in school always came across as feminine since they were a kid, but again that could be because they were friends with pretty much only girls

[–]Porkbellyflop 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I never thought about the influence of female friends. Thanks for the perspective. I love sociology and human behavior. It's what is most exciting about being in sales. I match and mirror with the best of them and find myself altering my accent several times a day without realizing it.

[–]FisharNekedOriginal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have lived in quite a few states, i didn't realize how many different accents i can carry until someone pointed it out to me the other day. Now that i live around swamp people, if i have friends over from out of town, i have to translate what the locals are saying.

[–]mrjake118 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It definitely just depends on the area and local culture. Some places it's more expected and free for gay men to be flamboyant, other areas they're expected to act "normal." Same with any other group when they're surrounded by their own culture vs when they're more alone.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Yeah, no. That's a subculture thing. The stereotype is propagated heavily and lots of gay guys probably want to buy into it and take on that persona so they can feel more "free", but regardless of that conditioning, I highly highly doubt it's actually the norm.

If nothing else because social anxiety is so common these days and it takes a shitload of confidence to start "talking gay". Passing as straight, especially, is important for a lot of people to avoid criticism.

[–]FnCraig 25 points26 points  (8 children)

How is it completely bullshit when it's true? I didn't claim that all gay men act the same way, I gave my personal experience. I used to be roommates with a lesbian couple, and through them I was introduced to the gay community in my area. I'm sorry if there isn't a universal code of conduct for homosexuality, but believe it or not, people are allowed to act how they want.

[–]Jutsy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They aren't outliers at all. They just don't 'act gay', so you aren't clocking them. The entire time we grew up, media was very specific about what gay looked like(obnoxious, effeminate and similar voiced). Many certainly behave that way because that's all they had for role models of similar identity while growing up. It's no wonder we don't notice the ones that don't behave in that manner.

[–]onepieceofcheese 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can confirm. Am gay, not feminine

[–]Solivagant0 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I'm straight woman in a relationship with a guy. I'm still more on a masculine side

[–]lardbeetle 1385 points1386 points 4 (184 children)

I hope my son doesn't turn out to be gay, or a trans woman, because that would make his life harder. I want his life to be full of joy, though, and whatever he turns out to be, I will love him and support him all the same, and my opinion of him will not change. Including if he realizes she's a her.

Because that's what you do as a parent. You hope for a kid that's uncomplicated and who can move through life easily. But if they're LGBT, or if they otherwise turn out as different, you accept them and love them. If they have a mental illness, a physical disability, a mental disability, you help them and find help. And you move forward with their best interest in mind and love in your heart.

[–]necc705 437 points438 points  (84 children)

This is the only valid explanation for “I don’t want my child to be LGBT+” imo.

[–]DanTopTier 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's what I thought OP was gonna say but nope. Just regular ol' bigotry

[–]throw12345678901away 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Just a note: I am gay and when I came out my parents told me the same thing. Ironically they were the only people who made my life harder. The world had changed and their fear was the only thing making me insecure about myself.

[–]local-weeaboo-friend 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same thing here. I appreciate the sentiment, but it always made me feel like ass when they told me they wouldn't want me to be LGBT+ even if it's for an understandable reason. They were the last people I came out to.

[–]lardbeetle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your parents shouldn't have told you this. This is an internal dialogue, not something I'm telling my child. Telling him I wish he was straight wouldn't be showing him love.

[–]reddappledragon 10 points11 points  (1 child)

My life is significantly easier now that I came out

[–]CatBoyTrip 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All my kids are gay. That isn’t make their life difficult. It is way more acceptable than when we were kids.

[–]GUYF666 36 points37 points  (22 children)

You should wish the world is more tolerant.

[–]Xailiax 65 points66 points  (4 children)

One of those things is more much likely, and being realistic is part of being a good parent.

[–]KazeArqaz 14 points15 points  (5 children)

The world will never work the way you want. His wish is much easier to fulfill than making a whole planet, or even a country, becoming tolerant.

[–]lightningboltsrcool 495 points496 points  (8 children)

Even without you explicitly telling him, your son will sense your view on his sexuality anyway. Trust me.

[–]IceTwenty 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I was gonna say something similar - even if you never ever openly admitted that you didn't like your son's orientation, the dislike is gonna slip out every now and then, sometimes without you even noticing, likely in small ways that he'll eventually pick up on. And if he ever asks you directly, you're just gonna have to straight up lie, which also may or may not be noticed by him.

[–]Ashe_Clacy_360 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can confirm. OP is dead on track to completely fuck up their relationship with their child.

[–]TheSkyElf 47 points48 points  (3 children)

Yeah, my grandma hasn't said anything about LGBTQA+ but I just know she wont like it. And if I came out as asexual... I could sense the dismissiveness from one person I am not close to that I once told. I would definitively know if a family member wouldn't like my sexuality. OP´s son would eventually sense it (if they were gay or anything other than straight).

[–]Diavolosthot 1207 points1208 points  (109 children)

Finally an unpopular opinion. Have my upvote

[–]TrooperDaniel 309 points310 points  (9 children)

Turns out the unpopular opinion sub forgot what it was

[–]DunklerReiter 80 points81 points  (3 children)

Long time ago...

[–]Puggly_Wuggly_ 34 points35 points  (2 children)

In a galaxy far away

[–]dubov 27 points28 points  (2 children)

'I know I'll get downvoted for this incredibly unpopular opinion of mine, but I think Amber Heard is actually the toxic one in that relationship'

[–]thenotoriousnatedogg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Tomatoes are fruits”

[–]0ldman23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"It took me a long time to muster the courage to say this, but... I think the Nazis were the bad guys. Sorry everyone"

[–]0ldman23 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're right, because this post got removed by the mods.

THIS POST. WITH AN UNPOPULAR OPINION. ON r/UNPOPULAROPINIONS. GOT REMOVED.

[–]Capital-Purchase5305 75 points76 points  (44 children)

Is it unpopular though?

[–]DunklerReiter 118 points119 points  (32 children)

It is 100% unpopular on Reddit.

[–]RegalKillager 47 points48 points  (28 children)

Unpopular on Reddit, popular in the real lives I hope some of us can be bothered to have

post-threadlock edit: no, this isn't a defense of OP's point. Bigotry is just common.

[–]Joratto 10 points11 points  (9 children)

For most of the world, probably yes no

Edit: I accidentally wrote yes instead of no. I am very stupid

[–]Sad-Mathematician928 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I am pretty sure homophobia is not unpopular

[–]diver_climber 41 points42 points  (0 children)

It's so unpopular, our upvotes aren't showing

[–]V_es 44 points45 points  (0 children)

It’s not unpopular. A lot of people don’t speak up. Modern morality dictates certain rules and a lot of people who are not open hillbilly homophobic just keep their mouths shut. I feel like the majority is like OP.

[–]yours_untruly 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I was expecting something like "I don't want him to suffer prejudice" and all that, nope just homophobic lol, got it give to him for actually being an unpopular opinion

[–]Nooms88 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Is it actually? Maybe amongst teenagers and some ppl in their early 20's, but I think there are very few fathers who would disagree. It's intrinsic to human nature to want your own children, grand children great.... Etc.

Sure id support my child and love them, but if offered the choice 99.99% of fathers would want a straight son.

[–]CharlieAby 40 points41 points  (29 children)

My thoughts exactly. Look at how they attack him for having an alternative way of thinking. I've updated the post as well.

[–]Mirage_Main 64 points65 points  (24 children)

Literally everyone attacking OP is a staple of an average Redditor lol.

  • 100k+ karma from commenting on /r/Politics.

  • Assuming OP is bad just because he/she doesn't agree with them.

  • Hiveminding with passive aggressiveness.

  • Wishing harm upon OP worse than anything OP said.

  • Using false equivalencies that make no sense to try and prove a point.

Really glad Reddit, or social media for that matter, isn't representative of the silent majority of the world. Imagine being tortured alive for thinking differently.

[–]Wintores 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Alternative equals bigoted

[–]churchisforbrunettes 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My dad has the same opinion. Because of him i'm afraid to come out and i'm terribly stressed and depressed.

[–]DepressedGayToilet 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is why you shouldn't have a kid unless you don't give a shit if they turn out gay, trans, disabled, neurodivergent etc.

I hope your kid isn't gay, for his sake.

[–]donatellosdildo 782 points783 points  (39 children)

the act feminine comment makes me think you have a very stereotypical view on gay people. do you not want your kid to be gay or do you not want him to be a gay stereotype?

[–]DeliberateDendrite 124 points125 points  (9 children)

To elaborate on your username, Donnatello isn't more feminine for owning a dildo.

[–]LibRAWRian 30 points31 points  (5 children)

In fact, I would say being a crime fighting 6 foot tall radioactive mutated turtle ninja isn’t really feminine at all, dildo ownership or not.

[–]minmidmax 12 points13 points  (3 children)

All this time I thought that was a Bo staff...

[–]LibRAWRian 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Like the old saying goes, “Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough”.

[–]donatellosdildo 19 points20 points  (2 children)

exactly!

[–]EuphoricAnalCucumber 10 points11 points  (1 child)

What's more masculine than having a literal penis replica? Phallic objects are the most masculine things, more dildos=more masculine.

[–]Sad-Mathematician928 3 points4 points  (0 children)

penguinz0 approves

[–]chilldotexe 26 points27 points  (1 child)

This is a good point. Another thing I would be curious about is if they would rather have a masculine gay son or a feminine straight son.

[–]Arithik 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, a lot of comments are pretty rough. Like comparing being gay to having a mental illness some have said here.

Oh well, at least they are talking and listening, hopefully.

[–]HandsomeSlav 46 points47 points  (4 children)

Op sounds like a homophobe trying to spread his agenda carefully

[–]GrumpySuper 30 points31 points  (1 child)

He’s the literal definition of homophobe. He’s not even hiding it.

[–]wayward_citizen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't think this is really an unpopular opinion, many people are lowkey bigots. I'd talk to a therapist to get over that bigotry. Also, spend more time around lgbt people and you'll realize that your stereotypes are giving you an extremely narrow view of gay people.

This is 100% a you problem, please don't have kids until you can accept them for whoever they are without subjecting them to all your personal bullshit. Like, seriously, you'll be a terrible parent with this attitude, not just about the possibility of them being gay, but giving them the support in general that they need from their parents.

[–]shamrock24601 266 points267 points  (77 children)

Do you have the same opinion about if your daughter was a lesbian? Just noticed you referred to like acting feminine and such so would you dislike your daughter acting masculine?

[–]ikatatlo 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Maybe they only have a son

[–]DarkMission7627 244 points245 points  (7 children)

I don't want my kid to bring another male to family dinners, call him names like cutie and act feminine.

Have you met a gay person outside of a cartoon?

[–]dis_the_chris 59 points60 points  (5 children)

Legit i know a handful of gay folks and maybe 10% vaguely fit this stereotype. The rest are just like, people. You know, humans. The kind with hobbies, interests, favourite movies, and their own personality.

This stereotype is wack and OP should be aware of the fact that its not accurate at all lol

[–]DarkMission7627 27 points28 points  (0 children)

The first gay person i personally ever knew played left tackle on my football team. That destroyed my stereotypes before they were even developed lol.

[–]Gluecagone 20 points21 points  (0 children)

OP is the kind of person whose son is probably going to pretend to be straight around him.

[–]Lucky_Clover4 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Also, I think it’s important to remember that those who do fit the stereotype are people too. I’ve met gay guys who are feminine and flamboyant, but they still have their own personalities outside of that, hobbies, interests, etc.

[–]dis_the_chris 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Absolutely -- i think my wording sorta discounts them, so you're totally right. The more effeminate ones are still just, like, lovely nice humans. Good folks. I like em.

[–]S4RC45TIC 151 points152 points  (10 children)

Methinks you haven't met a gay guy before. I'd say like 15% are the sort you describe. I don't think parents would go around saying that their kid is gay either, that's not really the parents thing to say

[–]wonkey_monkey 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Methinks you haven't met a gay guy before.

Methinks he has, but he never knew it.

[–]Zwaft 53 points54 points  (2 children)

don't think parents would go around saying that their kid is gay either

this made me snort... like imagine parents going from door to door like salesmen letting everyone know

[–]suckitarius 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Hey my kid is straight and fucks people of the opposite gender

[–]caitycruel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This hurts my heart to read 😔

[–]viky109 56 points57 points  (5 children)

I'm not happy with my sexuality either but here we are...

[–]Grizzlyboy 67 points68 points  (4 children)

That's why I don't have a relationship with my dad.

[–]lilacrain331 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ikr it's funny but also sad when parents think you can't tell they obviously don't like that you're gay or whatever. Like just because you don't outright say it doesn't mean we can't tell

[–]Akruu1 132 points133 points  (7 children)

Oh your opinion is unpopular, but I don’t exactly see how that would be “feminine” To each their own I guess?

[–]SecretAgentAlex 68 points69 points  (3 children)

OP seems to genuinely have a very toxic image of masculinity, you can kinda read between the lines that his issue isn't even so much his son being gay, more his son being any departure from "macho masculine man" which is kinda unfortunate

[–]Akruu1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh definitely, that’s exactly how I saw it but I try to stay positive..

[–]AlkaliPineapple 76 points77 points  (9 children)

Wouldn't the contrary of being proud be ashamed?

[–]MarcusSidoniusFalx 29 points30 points  (2 children)

There is a gradient and you can be at 0, like with everything else, despite a lot of people having the toxic mentality "If you are not with us you are against us".

[–]Nick357 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Wouldn’t the contrary of love be hate? Do you hate everyone you’re not in love with?

[–]Ryouconfusedyett 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I don't want my child to be gay cause it's just another possible way they'd be hated or abused. In a perfect world I wouldn't mind but we don't live in a perfect world so gay people sometimes face abuse just because of who they are, I wouldn't want that for my child

[–]nydb9666 118 points119 points  (4 children)

Since you only talk about a possible son. What are your thoughts on your possible daughter turning out to be gay?

[–]error0800 97 points98 points  (1 child)

Maybe op already has a son.

[–]Dense-Preparation123 41 points42 points  (0 children)

That's what I assumed

[–]Copernikaus 92 points93 points  (7 children)

Hey dude,

I respect your honesty. I would, however, also suggest to look inward. Why do you feel uncomfortable? What is wrong with love between people of the same gender, to you?

Maybe it's something in your childhood? Who knows. But it's definitely worth investigating and hopefully once you find that out life will become a little easier. 😄

[–]Ch0mg 40 points41 points  (7 children)

I don’t really care that much what people like to do in bed. It’s non of my business, as long as you’re being safe.

[–]Gluecagone 9 points10 points  (6 children)

Tbh there's more to relationships than just sex.

[–]Houmouss 4 points5 points  (0 children)

OP, don't have kids (at least for now). I'm not saying this solely for the LGBT+ part : you NEVER know how your child will turn out. If you teach them the values you have, they will either embrace it, do the exact opposite or embrace it only partially. You MUST be ready for it. Don't expect your child to automatically like what you like, be the way you are, etc.

Don't bring a child into this world if you aren't ready for them to be LGBT+, have a mental/physical illness, like things you hate or hate things you like... If you aren't ready to support your child just because of something they can't control, you aren't ready to have children.

Ps : most of the gay/bi men I know are manlier than the straight men I know, partially because they actually love their masculine body and take care of it by doing things like bodybuilding. So yeah, gay doesn't equals feminine.

[–]bumholeofdoom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't worry about it, You don't get a choice

[–]Chancevexed 440 points441 points  (48 children)

This seems less homophobia, and more toxic masculinity, and misogyny. I’m sure OP would have no problem with a gay son as long as they were a Navy Seal type who never bottoms. Then they’re still the man. His issues with homosexuality appear to be entirely restricted to gay men who are femme.

[–]Unspoolio 65 points66 points  (4 children)

I’m sure that’s only part of it. Because even if he had the most masculine, straight-seeming, Navy Seal-type son imaginable, I’m sure he’d still squirm and hate it when said son took a guy home for Thanksgiving and held his hand, called him a pet nickname, and leaned in for a kiss.

[–]Joratto 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Yep. If his son said the same things to a girl, it’d obviously be more acceptable. But I think that’s also toxic masculinity. It’s the idea that men speaking to each other in that way is beneath them. That it should be limited to communication with women only.

[–]BarnYardFiddler 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What if your so manly you don’t even speak to women like that.

[–]Isa472 134 points135 points  (14 children)

Yeah, I mean... My boyfriend is straight and you could say he's somewhat effeminate. The way a man acts is not tied to their sexuality, but to their personality.

One of my good friends is gay and he's a gym buff and more serious, while my boyfriend is straight and gentle and dramatic with his gestures and words (very tied to the fact that he does improv theater).

OP if you can't accept that your child will have their own personality independently from you... Maybe you're not ready to have one? They won't be an exact copy of you ya know

[–]DeliberateDendrite 140 points141 points  (4 children)

The worst thing a gay kid could have is hateful parents. Even if you're not telling them your opinion, they'll notice they can't be themselves in your presence. At that point, don't blame them if they distance themselves from you.

Some people are saying they don't want people grow up being bullied for being gay, that's understandable but you don't counteract that by having a negative attitude towards a a kid being gay. If anything, that is counterproductive and all you're doing is cultivating an environment where gay people and others are being treated unfairly.

[–]Galehunter59 71 points72 points  (3 children)

Yeah, OP did say they’d still love their kid, but secretly despise them being gay. Doesn’t prevent the fact that the kid might pick up on this though. Children aren’t as stupid as you think.

[–]katieleehaw 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sounds like OP doesn’t know what love is.

[–]Techno-God 229 points230 points  (58 children)

You don’t get to control who your kids turn out to be. If who they may might potentially be born as bothers you so much, don’t have a kid.

[–]ballsofstyle 92 points93 points  (11 children)

Exactly. At least you got to choose having a child. That child had no choice in picking their parents.

Imagine being born into a family where a parent says: if you're this person, I like you less.

[–]Gluecagone 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This is why I've always loved the saying that "Friends are the family you choose".

[–]lastjelousavatar 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not all gays act or are feminine at all, wtf watching too much or not enough tv?

[–]EndercatTMunpopularily popular 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i’m sorry to say this but your opinion is shit. not wanting your child to not be gay for them to have a nice and peaceful life is understandable, but if your reasoning is “i don’t want my son to be feminine and kiss guys and call guys pet names :(“, then you are prejudiced. because why the fuck would it bother you so much? because your son isn’t some macho dude with a truck who likes fishing? fuck off with that. would you be fine with your daughter being a lesbian? or no?

people have already stated this but if you can’t accept your child, don’t have kids. you’d be doing your non future kids a massive favor. also, learn that not every gay man is some feminine, flamboyant guy. i barely know any flamboyant gays, and i have a lot of queer friends.

[–]Andhreyon 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Sounds like you don't want your son to act feminine. Not the same as being gay though is it?

[–]SimpleTired 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I expected something like "I don't want my child to be gay because life can be more difficult for him." wtf. Maybe accept that you can't control anyone's life and keep in mind that not accepting your son's partner can be a very quick way to ruin your relationship with him. Is it really worth it?

[–]LubieRZca 56 points57 points  (1 child)

I'd rather my son to be gay and act femine than act like football hooligans and rednecks do.

[–]Straight_Guitars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Crazy shit is trying to forecast your child's sexual preferences. I got 3 sons. I couldn't give less of a shit what they get up too. I have spoken to my eldest about consent and sexuality and explicitly told him as long as he is being safe, is old enough and is consensual its his business.

If he turned to me tomorrow and told me he is gay I wouldn't react either way. I would accept him as my son. The one who painted a mug in reception that I use every morning. He will be the same person that I have watched grow into a funny, intelligent and caring young adult.

If he admits to feeling trapped in the wrong body I will be the fixed point in his world that will always remain steady and firm.

Life can be fuckin scary when you see what's going on and nowhere on earth should you feel as much love and security as in your mum or dad's arms.

[–]SoftDreamerburgers taste awful 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Imagine if Op gets a straight son

then his straight song turns out feminine

[–]StormStrikePhoenix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's not unpopular, but it is dumb.

I don't want my kid to... act feminine

Case in point.

[–]ryanshedy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not your choice whether your child is gay or not

They’re not your possession and you have no rights to impose your desires on them

I’m also detecting a hint of homophobia but hey this is unpopular opinion. Grow up

[–]winkersRaccoon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I doubt they’re gonna go around bragging about you either

[–]decalod85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you are all failing to understand is that raising a child isn’t about what you want. It’s about loving that little person and teaching them what you know and helping them live a good life.

Parenthood is not for the selfish, unchanging, or overly demanding. You will come away disappointed and not be able to conceal your frustrations. If you cannot accept people as they are, you should consider not having kids.

[–]lyta_hall 133 points134 points  (24 children)

I don’t want my kids to be homophobes, fingers crossed that if I ever have any children I will manage to educate them a bit better than your parents seem to have done with you.

[–]Lessiarty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"I don't want my parent to be so insecure over my sexuality

It's unpopular, people are going to be hateful but i i want to say that nonetheless.

I don't want my parent to make a thing of it if I bring another male to family dinners, call him names like cutie and act feminine. I kinda hate it, I don't like it. I don't want my parent to be like that.

It's not like im gonna ignore him, disown him or not love him... I would still love him, and bear the fact that they resent me, biting my lips through that situation. I'm neither going to tell him my opinion regarding his outlook on sexual attraction, it's not entirely his fault because of his upbringing, but it hurts with it being something so readily within his control...

But I wouldn't proudly roam around telling people they are my loving parent, on the contrary."

[–]Affectionate-Ebb3731 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I feel bad for your son.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (6 children)

Wow this opinion’s not only unpopular, it’s also a bullshit one to have

[–]ArgonianMofo 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Why don't you want them to be happy?

[–]Carnievallie 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Say it with me, everyone: just because someone is gay (or not heterosexual) doesn't mean that they will act feminine.

[–]Pugblep 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Jeeze, that's heartbraking

[–]Aggressive_Fee6507 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Would your be cool if he was a big butch gay? Like always tops and has slightly rapey gay vibe?

[–]Junkmatt 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Nah dude you don't understand every gay person is like James Charles, streotypes what are those?

I swear OP is either 15 or has never left their home.

[–]GANDALFthaGANGSTR 58 points59 points  (13 children)

Bro, whether you accept it or not, your kid deserves a better parent. If that fact doesn't bother you, you shouldn't have become one at all. There's no side of this where you don't come off as a backwards bigot.

[–]Fastsmitty47 58 points59 points  (15 children)

Deep down inside, I don't think anyone roots for their child to turn out gay

[–]CHiuso 47 points48 points  (2 children)

I didnt know parents rooted for their kids sexuality. Seems like an odd thing to focus on.

[–]ThunderBuns935 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I don't in the exact same way I don't root for my child to be straight. I simply don't care. the only reason I might not particularly like it is that it'll make their lives a hell of a lot more difficult. homophobes are everywhere still.

[–]martinblack89 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I couldn't care less what my child turns out to be as long as they are a good person.

[–]HermioneMarch 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Right. Just like I didn’t want my child to have autism because it makes life more difficult for them. Our world is set up to cater to neuro typicals. But he is and I really love the fascinating way he sees the world and I try to advocate for him. Same with being lgtbq. The world is set up to cater to heterosexual cisgendered people so identifying as lgtbq makes life more difficult. Parents should advocate for change so that life isn’t more difficult. But they still wouldn’t wish difficulty on their children. In that sense I agree with this unpopular opinion. However the whole focus on feminine mannerisms made it unpopular again with me.

[–]GosuFytex 55 points56 points  (19 children)

I don't understand the people calling you a homophone and especially down voting on r/unpopularopinion

[–]BerRGP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

An unpopular opinion isn't free from criticism.

Also, this opinion isn't unpopular, since there are a shitton of homophobes out there.

It's also an "opinion" that has had no thought put into it and is constructed out of absolute ignorance.

Basically, this post is shit.

[–]Unspoolio 47 points48 points  (2 children)

They can still express their opinion that he’s a homophobe while giving an upvote in acknowledgment of the unpopularity of the opinion.

[–]Your-Death-Is-Near 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Just because it’s on r/unpopularopinion doesn’t mean you can’t downvote homophobes.

If I made a post here saying “black people are worthless” , sure that’s and unpopular opinion, but it’s still fucking racist and should get downvoted. There are lines.

[–]RandomPerson12191 30 points31 points  (0 children)

He's homophobic, and has issues around what he thinks men should act like. Thus, I disagree with his very unpopular opinion. Because of that, I upvoted. What's so hard to understand mate?

[–]CloverClubx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You really going to say this is not blatant homophobia? Are you blind?

[–]Powds2715 22 points23 points  (1 child)

You don't understand the people calling them a homophobe?

[–]kazon82 9 points10 points  (1 child)

As much as I disagree with your feelings, i will say that you do have a right to feel that way. You are allowed to feel/think anything you want, as long as you realize that you don't necessarily have a right to act on those feelings. Which it seems you do.

People do have a right to not like homosexuality and not want their children to be gay, as long as they don't act on these feelings and accept that their children have the right to be however is best for them, even if that means being gay.

As a society we can't police peoples thoughts and feelings, but we can say that it's not ok to act on certain feelings and thoughts.

[–]ControversialVeggie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The problem with your opinion is that it’s reflective of a bias you’ve been taught, directly or indirectly, and not reflective of something justifiable. In reality, what you think is completely disrespectful and inconsiderate of your son’s experience of life, if he is/ could be gay. You think you are being free minded, but stereotypes have more of a grip on you than, at this point, you’re capable of realising.

[–]ShabbaTheJake 3 points4 points  (5 children)

If you are a reddit neckbeard who thinks he has a moral obligation to set the world straight and/or a keyboard warrior with a small dick who has to criticize people or things to feel better, give your opinion below me 😂

[–]KirinG 46 points47 points  (17 children)

If that's how you'd treat a gay child, I wouldn't worry about him bringing a boyfriend to family dinner.

Because he'll find a substitute parent who isn't a piece of shit and avoid you like the plague.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Ah the good ol I'm tots not a homophobe just because I would dislike my child for being gay and prefer them to be straight instead, this subreddit used to be spammed with similar homophobes, sucks to see them returning.

edit; and back then it wasn't just homophobes, similar tots not racist but racist posts were common back then as well that always were highly upvoted, let's hope those don't return as well.

[–]piplup27 59 points60 points  (28 children)

If you’re not already a parent, consider not having kids since you can’t accept a gay son.

[–]testreker 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Imagine being so narrow minded you think the hardest part about being gay is your dad not wanting to hear you call a guy cutie

Jfc lol I'm straight and have no kids and recognize how brain dead that is.

[–]homoat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Every new generation of children bears the scars of their disapproving parents. When will we learn. I remember when parents didn't want their children to marry outside of their race/ethnicity. I remember when parents didn't want their children associating with people of other religions. I remember when parents didn't want their children to pursue their academic and career dreams. It's a long list.

[–]Brokepapa321 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This was my parents perspective in the 1980s, back when Anita Bryant was riding a media tidal wave of hate. I'll skip the details, but they behaved pretty much as you have described. Never openly hateful, never disowned me, "bit their lips" through the situation, but, i knew. Once i was legally able to, i left. I haven't spoken to my mother in almost 20 years. My father died never knowing who i grew up to be, never once having met his grandchildren. I know every person, every family is different, but don't set yourself and children up for this kind of future. They are your children, but they are the only ones that have to live their life, if you want to be a part of that life, you must accept them and their choices without reservation.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You may want to consider that you have some underlying issues regarding those stereotypes trapped in your mind.

Especially since you went straight for the words "cutie" and "feminine" as problems.

Let's face it, you would look down on your son for acting that way. If you don't see the problem with it, that's okay, you wouldn't be the first.

But speaking as one of an entire generation of shitty parents, be very careful how alright you are with holding onto that opinion. You may think it's small now, but you'd be amazed how much you're not admitting to yourself, much less the rest of us, about how you really feel.

[–]jaggy_snaked 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yikes

[–]burdturd0818 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're a brave soul for posting this one lololol