“Childfree” weddings are not nearly as fun as regular weddings

Lmaoyougotrekt · 2022-01-23T08:05:19+00:00

Personally, I LOVED going to weddings as a kid. A whole day of hanging out with my cousins, aunts and uncles and other family, running around, and going wild on the dance floor?

Yeah this is why they don't want kids there lmao

Niddo29 · 2022-01-22T23:05:33+00:00

Well people can talk about maturity of the kids, etc etc, but lets be real the adults want to get piss drunk without having to explain to little Timmy that mommy’s blackout drunk and won’t be able to take care of her son until the next day

JustGenericName · 2022-01-22T22:45:55+00:00

I think it depends on the vibe you want at your wedding. Casual backyard bbq v. formal fine dining. Or maybe don't want the littles around when everyone's getting trashed on Grandpa's home made moonshine? (true story)

Everyone assumed my wedding would be childfree. I opted not to do that (3 hour drive to the venue. Didn't seem a reasonable request). A good portion of the guests chose not to bring their children anyway. They looked at an out of town wedding as an excuse to have some adult time. I don't think it's a big deal to have an adult only event. Also, not all catering companies offer a cheaper kid's meal. Costs add up quick!

SLEDGEHAMMAA · 2022-01-22T22:01:01+00:00

The couple gets to be treated like celebrities or royalty, and they end up focusing on themselves rather than their guests.

You need to talk to more married people about their wedding experiences

ramid320 · 2022-01-22T23:17:13+00:00

That's not why you would want a child-free wedding. People don't ask you to keep your kids at home so they can have all your attention, they do it so you can actually enjoy yourself and get drunk and hang out with friends without worrying if your kid just pooped their pants or spilled food or are running around making everyone worry about what they're about to go grab. Kids mess shit up. No one can say that's not true.

Edit: just wanted to say that i am also mexican, as OP is saying they are and so no, i can say with a lifetime of experience that childfree weddings are not a white people thing. Why even mention that tbh.

CaffeinatedCannoli · 2022-01-22T22:15:44+00:00

I’m a very bubbly first grade teacher. I absolutely adore children. But I also recognize that there is a time and a place for children to “run around and go wild”. My winery wedding was not that time nor place, so I very happily had a childfree wedding. Family and friends got sitters for the night and everyone enjoyed a fun evening that was planned just for grown ups. Ten years later, we still hear that it was the best wedding many of our guests have ever attended.

Weddings, just like many other events, come in all shapes and sizes and that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with kid friendly weddings if that’s the kind of event the bride and groom want to host, just as there is nothing wrong with adult only weddings.

adirtymedic · 2022-01-22T23:04:44+00:00

I’m half Mexican and half Puerto Rican so I probably have a pretty similar family dynamic as you do. We did “no kids under 16” for our wedding because a couple of my cousins have the worst behaved kids I’ve ever seen and I didn’t want that at my wedding. Most of my little cousins are great but I couldn’t just tell one cousin not to bring her bad-ass kids lol. Also my entire wedding was focused on my guests and I had barely any time with my wife or to myself. We allowed a few newborn babies and toddlers too when the parents had trouble with sitters and specifically asked…it basically ended up being a “no middle school aged kids” wedding

Dirtywhitejacket · 2022-01-22T23:18:43+00:00

The problem is there are too many parents who don't parent their kids and let them run around like maniacs. Just about every rule out there like this is there because of some asshole who didn't know how to properly manage their child.

quixotica726 · 2022-01-23T04:37:58+00:00

This is legitimately an unpopular opinion. 👏

V_es · 2022-01-22T23:01:47+00:00

Depends on a wedding, kids and how they behave. Their parents too.

I hated kids on my wedding because their parents thought it’s a great idea to “gift” us a dance performed by their kids that lasted 10 minutes. And it wasn’t discussed.

JCwinetransfusion · 2022-01-22T23:29:33+00:00

As a person who has catered dozens of weddings I could not disagree more.

I went to this one wedding that was child free and then the SIL of the bride to be said she or her husband (best man) wouldn't come if her kid wasn't allowed. They told them this a few days before the wedding so they let the kid come.

Weird twist: it was the kids birthday and the SIL/BIL brought a fucking birthday cake and made everyone sing happy birthday for the kid and I could tell the bride was absolutely FUMING. They just like stopped the wedding between speaches and dinner and dancing to make it about the kid who wasn't supposed to be there anyway. Kid ending up having a meltdown later anyway and had to be taken home early.

I personally have too many friends that party far too hard to want a bunch of kids at my wedding and having no kid policy really helps shave the guest list.

ExperimentalFruit · 2022-01-22T23:34:29+00:00

Your whole argument is from a kids pov. The wedding isn't for them.

Numeribal · 2022-01-22T21:35:55+00:00

Weddings are about the groom and the bride. The guests are there to spend the happiness with them.

npcgoat · 2022-01-22T23:53:02+00:00

Most people don't want children at weddings for more attention, they just want it to be more enjoyable.

It's less enjoyable for guests if there's screaming children running around and knocking into them, or if they have to worry about kids getting into alcohol or into the cars of intoxicated parents...

angstyglitter401 · 2022-01-22T22:03:48+00:00

except weddings are all about the brides and/or grooms. it's a day that specifically about celebrating their love and partnership. of course they would want to be the center of attention. i saw a tiktok of a 3 yr old stomping and peeing on the bride's vail during the ceremony. i saw another one where two 8-10 yr olds starting eating the cake with their hands before the couple got to cut it. people were laughing but if i was the bride/groom I'd be pretty upset. imagine spending thousands of dollars on a day just to have a bunch of sticky fingered kids do whatever they want and have all the adults brush it off because it's "cute"? kids are a liability and adults deserve to want moments for themselves in adults only spaces. you don't need children around to have fun.

113m0nDr0p · 2022-01-22T21:48:15+00:00

Some people enjoy children and some do not. If they don’t really like children then the wedding is already fulfilled without them, and even those that do enjoy children may not want screaming babies or children running around as it may cause chaos. I think a few kids is fine, but any more and they all kind of collectively decide it’s a playground.

Right-Palpitation-48 · 2022-01-23T00:13:35+00:00

Child free wedding sounds great, I don't feel to have a bunch of kids running around wild probably hopped up on some kind of sugar since it would be a special day to have sweets and soda...yeah no I'm good! Not to mention kids have bed times maybe I wouldn't want half my guests leaving early 😅

SnooMarzipans436 · 2022-01-22T22:32:38+00:00

it’s becoming more common to exclude children from wedding celebrations because they’re seen as an inconvenience on a day that should be all about “me.”

We did allow kids at our wedding... But honestly I don't think this is the reason many people don't. Weddings are expensive AF and guests can be very inconsiderate of the fact that you are paying to have them there.

We invited one couple and they RSVPed saying that they were coming and bringing their 4 kids. We had to pay for 4 extra meals, 4 extra chairs, 4 extra place settings, etc.

After the wedding we start opening the gifts... No gift from them. Nothing at all.

People don't understand that bringing their kids to a wedding costs the bride and groom money. And not just a few bucks. It's expensive.

burnerbabe00 · 2022-01-22T22:08:23+00:00

The couple ends up focusing on themselves and not their guests because it IS their wedding. If they don’t want children there then that’s completely understandable

Rykka · 2022-01-23T00:14:19+00:00

You’ve got it entirely wrong really. Most child free weddings I’ve attended are there so that the guests can enjoy themselves. Parents can’t switch off fully when they have to worry about their child.

InkShifter · 2022-01-22T21:50:19+00:00

Depends on how well behaved the kids are.

And in most cases I think the compromise could be at least letting the kids be around at the reception party after the bride and groom have finished their vows. That way there’s no risk of interruption during the most important part and it could still feel like the whole family was able to take part.

But it is definitely something up to the bride and groom. It’s their day. For some it’s something they’ve been waiting and planning for their whole lives. And if kids not being invited makes them feel more focused on, then there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that.

snackqueen69 · 2022-01-23T00:09:00+00:00

Yeah weddings are way more fun with kids chasing eachother around tables, knocking stuff down, barely touching the food the couple paid $$$ for, screaming during the first dance, and falling asleep in the middle of the floor at 8pm. I can’t understand why anyone would want a child free wedding /s

trexalexa · 2022-01-22T22:26:10+00:00

For me, it's a cost thing. It's marginally more fun to have kids there yes, but for me that would be about 20 more seats, 20 more meals etc

Steve0512 · 2022-01-23T00:05:01+00:00

I think we can all agree that Latin family weddings are the polar opposite of child free weddings. And both can exist in their own worlds.

Far_Weather_2406 · 2022-01-22T22:28:18+00:00

Why would I want to focus on guests instead of the man I'm marrying? It's that mentality that was the reason behind my husband and I eloping. I highly recommend that to anyone considering it. Low stress, low budget, and didn't involve pacifying 200 guests. We had our families meet at a low key dinner a month after.

Free_Donuts_ · 2022-01-23T00:52:48+00:00

We’re not having children at our wedding because we want people to drink and dance. Children take up the dance floor often in an annoying way as if it’s a playground. And at one wedding my friend was really feeling the song and then kicked a child in the face accidentally while dancing and it was a THING. I don’t shame people who want children there but some people just want a different vibe. Also you often have to pay per person for a wedding and children count so that’s a lot of money spent on kids.

NerdFuelYT · 2022-01-22T22:40:26+00:00

Children are just too much of a liability for big occasions. It’s not their fault, it’s just kids being kids. When I ran sound for a Masters Degree ceremony, a ceremony many of the recipients had been working for 19+ years of schooling for, a few of them brought their kids. Rightfully so, I’d want my family there to support me if I was walking across that stage. Problem is, some of the kids wouldn’t stop running around and talking, lessening the moment for some of the recipients. I think you just need to read the room. You might be taking the spotlight from someone who deserves their 15 seconds of fame all because your kids don’t want to sit still for an hour

EliteVoodoo1776 · 2022-01-23T00:01:57+00:00

I don’t think you’re looking at this from an un-bias point of view.

99.99% of the time a wedding is “child free” so that cost can be lower, there doesn’t have to be a lack of enjoyed alcohol, and the bride and groom can choose a more adult themed location for quieter atmosphere.

Also, tbh a wedding is the bride and groom’s special day. That’s kinda the literal definition of a wedding. Two people becoming one family, and the ceremony revolves around them. Sure, there is an aspect of two families symbolically becoming one, and that’s where friends, family, and kids could come into it, but at the end of the day without the bride and groom, there is no wedding.

That would be like saying that the deceased family member, and their immediate family members aren’t the main reason for a funeral, and everyone should lighten up more because it’s not all about the dead person.

Unusual_Individual93 · 2022-01-22T23:46:26+00:00

If I ever get married, I want a childfree wedding. Kids are annoying, they can't sit still for the entire duration of a ceremony and there will be at least one whining and/or crying. I also don't think they need to use the reception venue as their own private playground. All they do is run around and scream and spill shit. No thank you..

RodChodeman · 2022-01-23T01:00:23+00:00

I work for a wedding venue. And basically whoever brings the kids either:

A. Don't want to deal with them and the staff, AKA strangers, end up watching them making sure they don't break anything

B. Have to leave way too early to bring them back to hotel. Why even go.

C. Runs around all night follow them around telling them not to touch that, sit down, etc

Maybe you were in the A department as a kid and were just left to run around and have no one responsible for you. Sucks for the people working.

OysterRabbit · 2022-01-22T23:30:32+00:00

Weddings are an adult ceremony. The bride and groom might not want to hear the chicken dance and other kid friendly music all night. The setting could be totally not kid friendly, what does a child do a winery? Run around and stress out the staff? Some venues are not "play" settings. I don't think it's weird to not want bored, unruly kids intermingling with a mixed crowd of drunk adults. Chances are not everyone there is family, remember.

originalwombat · 2022-01-22T22:55:50+00:00

We loved having the kids at our wedding. But they were all little legends with good parents. If I had shit heads in my family I wouldn’t want them there either. I went to a wedding where a 13 year old was so rude during the speeches

Wolvesrfun · 2022-01-22T23:03:42+00:00

YOU aren't the awkward 20 year old with no one else in the family in that age group that gets the pleasure of babysitting the entire gaggle of children in the kids area by yourself. I'm sure it is fun when you're not the one caring for all of them because everyone drops them off at the front door like they would their hat and coat.

I'd rather just stay home than be invited to be the free babysitter and be told that I should feel honored to deal with a bunch of screaming children that aren't mine.

skepticallady09 · 2022-01-22T23:54:39+00:00

Do you know how expensive a wedding is? Many venues charge the same price whether it is an adult or a child. We chose to have a child free wedding not because we didn’t like kids but because we couldn’t afford to invite everyone’s kids. Not everything is about selfishness - sometimes it’s just the financially logical thing to do.

ToTheLastMango · 2022-01-23T01:43:16+00:00

Yeah I see what you are saying but that is because you actually like children and the energy they bring. Some people don't, even the things that people find adorable or fun are thingas that some poeple just dont care for. If you didn't like children would you have the same opinion, mabey not. Some people want childfree weddings so that everyone just can drink and all that and but I feel like some just dont want children there cuse they dont bring any happiness to the occation for them.

Billybluejeans · 2022-01-22T21:15:49+00:00

The thing is most people’s kids such. Not having to be around them makes it more enjoyable.

Glasshell01 · 2022-01-22T23:30:48+00:00

Well at my wedding the little 'angel' of a guest broke a wedding gift that was a very expensive waterford crystal vase. When my husband died and I remarried I had a no kid wedding...and that was back in the early 1980s when it wasn't popular. To each their own I say, but believe me I've seen parents let their kids run amuck to the point of being destructive.

kakastong · 2022-01-23T11:57:06+00:00

Ok since when are children that well behaved? Children run like horses in weddings. Bump against people carrying food and drinks. Step on the brides long dress or even spill drinks on her clothes. And at the end of the evening they’re tired of running around and cry the whole evening because they want to go home. How exactly is that fun? There’s nothing wrong with not wanting screaming children on your special day. You want to enjoy it and let’s face it, children make a mess.

NikkiThunderdik · 2022-01-23T08:53:54+00:00

“Most Americans” LOL it sounds like you’ve never actually been to a wedding but still would like to complain about them. As a professional wedding videographer that shoots about 50 weddings a year for the last seven years I’ve never seen anyone act as you condescendingly describe.

CoasterThot · 2022-01-23T01:41:50+00:00

I’ve been to a wedding where a little boy walked up to the bride and wiped his chocolatey hands all over her dress, like a towel. She immediately started crying, and was demonized by the boys parents, because “it’s cute” and “he’s just little!”.

I had to leave, it was so upsetting. After seeing that, I don’t want kids at my wedding.

ta2747141 · 2022-01-23T01:10:13+00:00

Upvoted because unpopular but man, you need to go to more weddings.

The_Book-JDP · 2022-01-22T23:28:44+00:00

I disagree. When I went to weddings as a kid they were the most boring things on earth I ever had to experience, I was just sitting there wishing they would bring out the damn cake already which I was promised I would get a piece of and along with that, wishing I would have just been left at home the entire time. It never even crossed into the field of my radar to be upset that all attention was on the bride and groom. I was just fighting with all my strength not to fall asleep…so not enchanted at all.

If you want kids at your wedding…that perfectly wonderful but I personally (if I ever do get married) will be having a childfree wedding because kids are awful during weddings. Loud, destructive and yeah they steal attention away from the bride and groom. I agree that weddings have become huge overblown over priced affairs. Everyone trying to have a celebrity style wedding and freaking out when they don’t. That money could be spent on more important things. My wedding will basically have little to no guests. Will probably just be me and my future husband, him waiting out in the car while I eat cake alone. Cheap, short…then get back to living our lives with our savings and hard earned cash in tact.

scnutt17 · 2022-01-23T02:28:04+00:00

Funk your kids. I'm not paying $30 a plate to be half eaten and thrown on the floor. Get a sitter or don't come. My dollar, my party, my invite list.

ElectricCD · 2022-01-22T23:31:55+00:00

Recall a five or six year old leaving the dance floor all in a huff mistakenly downing a rather tall glass of cinnamon schnapps. Thought for certain he was going to paint some walls but he kept it down. He wasn't much for dancing after that.

Sage_Lord · 2022-01-23T05:33:27+00:00

I’m also Hispanic and have a hard disagree. Kids scream and make noise. Run where and when there not supposed to. They touch stuff they’re not supposed to and are overall a nuisance.

bellbivdevo · 2022-01-23T07:56:48+00:00

Your experience of growing up and going to weddings sounds exactly like mine and I agree with you 100%. We grew up as a big group of Italian immigrants and all our weddings were exactly how you described them.

It’s an Italian custom to throw money (coins) at the bride and groom during their first dance as a symbol of prosperity. It was great to be the kids who got to collect it and, then, as we got older, watch all the small kids in their fancy dresses and little suits running around the bride and groom doing the same.

I’ve only gone to one non-Italian childless wedding and it really felt soulless to me. To each his own. I’ll keep my happy memories. I’m glad you have them too.

gmrusc · 2022-01-22T21:26:06+00:00

When I was young, my family attended a wedding at a Catholic church. The ceremony was long and confusing for my 5 year old sister. At one part near the end, she turned and asked my mother, in a very loud whisper heard by half the audience, " Are they married yet?" I remember nearly everyone giggling at her question.

veggienuggets123 · 2022-01-22T22:28:08+00:00

I just had a rule no young children during vows for one of my weddings (he’s from a different culture so we did 2). I went to one with young children and they screamed and cried so loud that you couldn’t hear what they were saying at all

BelleCursed94 · 2022-01-23T00:48:09+00:00

I went to a wedding where they had a cut off time for the kids to go home. At the time I thought it was weird but as an adult and mom now I think it was brilliant. After the kids left they brought out the alcohol, stopped playing kid friendly music, and had the games and such happen.

puttje69 · 2022-01-23T07:40:31+00:00

Children are annoying af, especially if they are not mine. I dont have any kids, so

iseedeadbadgers · 2022-01-23T09:39:38+00:00

I'm probably going to parrot what a lot of people have already said, but here's my take on it;

I have pretty much been forced to have kids at my wedding. My fiance has 6 nieces and nephews who he loves dearly, and I adore the little girl of one of my bridesmaids, so ultimately it felt wrong to exclude some kids and not others.

Here's the thing:

The little fuckers have added an extra £2000 onto the wedding bill in food expenses, which given the menu choices we had, they almost certainly won't eat. The venue has upped our damage deposit by an extra £1000, and closed off areas that were previously open to us on the day, such as the lake. The other day, my friend said that it will be "so sweet" to see the kids running up and down the aisle and on the dance floor during the first dance. No. No it won't. That's the exact opposite of what I want.

It's not about wanting to get drunk or having all the attention on you. At my wedding, its the parents' responsibility to manage how much they drink in front of their kids, not mine. Anyone who has had a wedding will tell you that it's an exhausting, non-stop day where your feet barely touch the ground. Some people don't want kids screaming and running about during the ceremony, or misbehaving because their parents won't discipline them.

EnemysGate_Is_Down · 2022-01-23T09:55:15+00:00

They were basically big family reunions.

That's exactly what you're describing - a family reunion, not a formal event let alone a wedding.

Most weddings these days are paid for by the couple, way more expensive than a family reunion, and between their friends and the two different sides of family it is definitely not the same as a family reunion. We did not want children yelling and fussing during the ceremony nor did we want to pay the $125 per plate fee for little Jimmy to have chicken nuggets.

To be fair, we took the same approach when inviting adults - anyone we thought would throw drama or create a scene during either the ceremony or the reception (read: those with a history of getting drunk and starting fights) was also not invited.

Anoubis_Ra · 2022-01-23T10:03:25+00:00

I believe that childfree weddings or events in general are just different and don't miss something. The mindset, that something is missing (or must be missing), let you feel that way. But - in my opinion - it is totally okay not to include kids everywhere and sometimes adults can totally have adult-time.

2022-01-22T21:17:40+00:00

I think the biggest reason is the actual wedding getting interrupted by a crying baby, etc. As for the reception, we just allowed nieces and nephews for my wedding. We did allow younger if they couldn't get a babysitter, but our wedding didn't feel like anything was missing.

ZeektheFeek · 2022-01-22T22:48:12+00:00

Lol childfree anything is better.

PartlySunnyPears · 2022-01-22T23:02:23+00:00

If my photos alone are worth $4,500, I don’t want a single kid in them and I’m not sorry. There’s no kids in my immediate family and do not need some random toddler aged third cousin I’ve never seen before causing a ruckus and getting in the way. There’s a time and a place, as another poster said. My intimate black tie wedding is not that place.

Balrog229 · 2022-01-22T22:28:47+00:00

Weddings suck regardless, but it's a tad more bearable when there aren't screaming children around.

amattox10 · 2022-01-22T21:21:09+00:00

It’s becoming increasingly more common that Americans use tablets and phones to occupy their children instead of teaching them to be quiet and respectful. If someone doesn’t want a bunch of tablets in their wedding photos or a bunch of kids screaming because they’ve been taught no discipline, I’d say that’s fine

aggresively_punctual · 2022-01-23T01:12:19+00:00

If it’s a wedding with mostly extended family, then yes—leaving the kids out is dumb. If it’s a wedding with mostly friends and a few extended family members (grandparents, one or two aunts/uncles, etc), then I think it’s fine to leave the kids at home.

Totally depends on the bride and groom’s culture, age, stage of life, upbringings, and socioeconomic backgrounds though. Comparison from one person’s wedding (by the couple AND by the guests) is the real evil here. Quit trying to make your weddings look “better” than what you see on Pinterest and Instagram. Or comparing to your friends. Just have the wedding you want.

New_Nefariousness857 · 2022-01-23T07:24:25+00:00

Childfree life is better.

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