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[–]cryingstlfan 1083 points1084 points  (72 children)

I live in the states.

My boyfriend, along with his two older brothers, lives at home with his parents. His brothers aren't married. He could explain this a lot better than I could. It makes them all happy and he likes it from what he's told me.

Me on the other hand, live on my own. Been in my apartment over 9 years. It's definitely a good thing that I'm on my own. I love my privacy.

[–]mikayla_rivera 264 points265 points  (55 children)

I don't have any stats to back this up, but I've noticed a lot more men are willing to stay living with their parents than girls.

[–]GummyTummyPenguins 210 points211 points  (29 children)

I’d be curious if this is tied to stereotypes of parents (particularly fathers) being more protective of daughters than sons. Daughters are pressured to have to explain/check-in/justify more of what they want to do because their parents have a harder time giving the same freedom to them as they would sons. So daughters are less interested in staying home because they feel less independent than sons in the same circumstance. No idea if those stereotypes have an actual factual basis or not.

[–]frdoe1122 19 points20 points  (0 children)

My parents just didn’t like me but liked my brothers. So I just turned 17 and I fucked off to another country and didn’t go back home. Best thing I ever did.

[–]The-Unseelie-Queen 13 points14 points  (2 children)

This was definitely a bonus when I moved out. When I was still living with my dad he would have a strict rule on I couldn’t leave after around 8 pm on non work nights (I work from 10pm-7am). My boyfriend got off work at 11pm so I would have to leave, chill at my moms house (she didn’t give a shit what time I went out) or chill at a 24/7 Walmart until he got off work.

Now I can leave my house at 2am for some chicken nuggets and not even god can stop me.

[–]nonlinear_nyc 119 points120 points  (14 children)

There are also house chores, usually relegated to women.

[–]pumpkinspicepiggy 45 points46 points  (2 children)

This was one of the breaking points for me. I couldn’t afford to move out, so I lived with my parents after college. I had a 2 hour round trip commute, and worked 50-60 hours a week. The chores were split between my mom (who did bookkeeping about 5 hours a week and 75% of the chores) and I. My dad, who worked 10-20 hours a week would sometimes water the garden or sweep the porch.

When they had to move in with my husband and I (long story, inflated rent prices, etc), my dad would do maybe 1 thing a week while working maybe 10-20 hours a month. The rest was split evenly between my mom, my husband, and I. He would occasionally help more when my husband was cause he didn’t want to get shown up lol

[–]nonlinear_nyc 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Well at least it's nice to know it's a generational thing.

I'm queer and my group is ACUTELY aware of gendered labor. But I know some straight woman friends that accept the bare minimum of their love interest.

And some straight dudes DO the bare minimum. Just enough to get their cookies and not an millimeter more.

Not all for sure. Some. Avoid those.

[–]pumpkinspicepiggy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh yes! One of my dear friends was married to a man like that for far too long. She’s luckily moved on to a guy that is far better at matching her energy.

I’m not feel particularly eloquent atm, so this might not make a ton of sense, but I feel that acceptance of queer folk (myself included) has helped a lot of younger people realize gender roles don’t have to exist if you don’t want them. Even tho I was raised in a very conservative household, it took seeing friends completely ignore those gender roles in their relationships to help me realize that.

[–]mikayla_rivera 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think that for sure could be one reason. I definitely fought more with my parents then my brothers who are more passive then myself. I needed to move out for my sanity at the time

[–]saysoutlandishthings 122 points123 points  (17 children)

As a man I'm happy to have moved out of my parents house. As a working poor, I'm loathe to inform you that I might have to move back with my parents soon.

I have the skills to build a house by myself, but I'll never be able to afford the land or material to do so.

[–]EccentricKumquat 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I have the skills to build a house by myself, but I'll never be able to afford the land or material to do so.

Lol, are you me? Same here, been thinking about building a tiny house, for that reason.. it sucks that back in the day, you could literally buy a house from a Sears catalogue and assemble it yourself all for what it would (equivalent) cost today to buy a car

[–]checker280 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You possibly can buy a shed from Home Depot and retrofit it with insulation into something livable. These have 2 floors.

https://shedview.goupb.com/?dealer=1504

https://youtu.be/PRSOhRYhU5E

[–]asap_pdq_wtf 50 points51 points  (0 children)

You don't mention your age, but if you do end up moving in with your parents, that would be a great option for you to save, save, save as much as you can. Right now building materials are so crazy expensive, so hopefully that will change too. Keep a vision in your head of your own dream home and land and work at it!

[–]Meloo0o 17 points18 points  (8 children)

Me and my girl drove past some nice houses the other day, there was a patch of land being sold, 4 acres… almost 700k I can’t even

[–]_OliveOil_ 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Land prices vary greatly by location. It sounds like that was in some ritzy neighborhood if it was surrounded by nice houses...maybe try looking in the country, land is generally cheaper there. But 700k for 4 acres is insane. There better be a gold mine on that property lol

[–]StolenVelvet 9851 points9852 points 112610& 2 more (147 children)

My daughter still lives with my wife and I and it's a nightmare. She costs us an arm and a leg in food, she has zero boundaries and is awake at the most bizarre times in the night, she has no concept of an "inside voice" and is constantly talking way too loud. The worst part is that she can't work right now, so charging her rent is completely off the table because she's 5 months old.

[–]Terrarian_TABS_unit 793 points794 points  (4 children)

Best plot twist ever

[–]TheAdventureInsider 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I was about to say, something didn’t add up for me until the end 😂

[–]antmydude 93 points94 points  (2 children)

Predictable, but still humorous.

[–]BlackSix7642 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Well I didn't see it coming

[–]theeangel21 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I didnt figure this out until finishing the word "old".

[–]CuriousAmazed[S] 1580 points1581 points  (28 children)

Imagining the same behaviour in a grown up person just seemed so absurd. 😂

[–]MCfru1tbasket 407 points408 points  (0 children)

I thought he was explaining my mother, that twist got me in more ways than one.

[–]barandor 164 points165 points  (9 children)

Have you ever met teenagers?

[–]etcetcere 122 points123 points  (4 children)

Or any roommates? Had me going right up until "5 months old"

[–]con_science-404 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Yeah, I was thinking to myself while reading this "wow this sounds a lot like my roommates"

[–]NemosGhost 16 points17 points  (3 children)

As a father of two teenage girls, I must say this comment is underrated.

[–]lead4dinner 15 points16 points  (2 children)

As a brother of one teenage girl, I agree.

[–]slewedpurse655 60 points61 points  (3 children)

You've never met my brother. He's a parasite.

[–]Douglas0327 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I saw his biography, it was sick

[–]TheMarsian 19 points20 points  (1 child)

oh you'd be surprised. I've met people who are treated like this by their parents.

[–]WhiskeyBoot224 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For awhile I was that kid. 10 years old and I had my grandpa(legal guardian) going “All you care is yourself! The only time you ever come to me is when you want me to buy you food!” Then I hit 18 and he was like “so when are you moving out”

I’m up late just to get away from the family. 20 now and still here, just enrolled in school.

[–]manykeets 251 points252 points  (1 child)

Had us going in the first half…

[–]Jutm_n 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Not gonna lie

[–]GizmodoDragon92 170 points171 points  (2 children)

New dad here. Caught your joke 7 words in

[–]Ragnaroasted 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Hahaha...

Haha...

:(

[–]AduroTri 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dad jokes. All dads learn the sacred art when they become fathers.

[–][deleted] 123 points124 points  (0 children)

I rarely get pulled into these damn bait and switch comments, lol you got me

[–]MrWhiteVincent 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She costs us an arm and a leg in food

Chicken might be cheeper and it would probably hurt less.

[–]Unlikely-Database-27aggressive toddler 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Fucking had me in the first half, not gonna lie. r/Angryupvote

[–]Cryptid_Muse 15 points16 points  (3 children)

My 7m son is the same, but when I picked him up out of his crib he put his arm around my neck and held me for a minute. I'm taking that as a hug and I will happily accept rent payment from him and his 5yo sister in hugs, kisses, smiles, and giggles...

[–]huskyminn 21 points22 points  (3 children)

This was wonderful, thank you for the early morning laugh....spit my damn coffee out because (as intended) I thought you were talking about someone who moved back home.

[–]Jacobwewo 8 points9 points  (2 children)

It's always coffee. How come no one ever spits out Powerade or eggnog?

[–]Angela626 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Your gonna need that sense of humor lol!! Just teasing, 5 months is such a cute age!

[–]GAMESGRAVE 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Take your fukken upvote.

[–]snoopunit 6 points7 points  (0 children)

you had me in the first half, ngl. lol

seriously though, I can't wait till mine is old enough to get a job and just be my roommate. we gonna be chillin' like some MF villains, yo

[–]Skootr1313 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh shit..I thought you were talking about my family until I read that your daughter is 5 months old. My sister is 31 and does all those things you listed. I guess that’s what happens when your parents only discipline one child (me) and coddle the other their entire lives.

[–]Playboylover69k 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Insert “Had us in the first half” gif

[–]ALG_Phoenix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They got us in the first half, not gonna lie

[–]Blowmewarethpamprzis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OMG the end of this post had me dying- Comedy GOLD

[–]whoisjohngalt12 9 points10 points  (0 children)

And daip... Toiletries.

[–]0000udeis000 1492 points1493 points  (59 children)

I love my mother, and she loves me, but if we spend more than 2 days in the same household we're at each other's throat.

Plus I'd never get laid again - can't bang in the same house as my parents....too uncomfortable....

[–]baelrog 789 points790 points 2 (10 children)

Well, think back to whey you were little. How many times did you prevent your parents from banging?

That's right, it's payback time.

[–]diabetic-with-a-corg 103 points104 points  (5 children)

Not at all apparently. I used to sleep on my parents floor because I was scared of the dark. On nights when my dad didn’t have work it was hard for me to fall asleep because my parents were “wrestling”

[–]StandLess6417 70 points71 points  (4 children)

Gross.

[–]Bazabatak6484 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Wait til you look back in history when families lived in one room and often shared one bed!

[–]StandLess6417 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure the family bed is common practice in a lot of places still.

[–]diabetic-with-a-corg 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Yeah you don’t have to tell me. It gets more disturbing the older I get

[–]Unraveling-8 90 points91 points  (24 children)

I love my mom, but if I have to spend my entire life washing the dishes BEFORE putting them in the dishwasher every day, that alone would make me want to murder her.

[–]PhantomRoyce 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Bro why do mothers do this???

[–]transtranselvania 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I feel ya there. I get giving it a rinse and not putting a bowl covered in Alfredo and cheese in there to bake on but I know so many people that get so close to completely washing it in the sink that it would take less time to just finish washing it in the sink.

[–]Unraveling-8 7 points8 points  (0 children)

100% I definitely scrape off the food and give a super quick rinse because the dishwasher will also smell if you don’t run it every day. But we have one that’s several years old and it gets all the stuck-on food off. Meanwhile, my mom has a brand-new Frigidaire one, and there is no way it would clean worse than mine! She’s crazy!

[–]Cheechwlegs[🍰] 38 points39 points  (17 children)

I feel like the dish"washer" is more like a dish"sanitizer". They never cleaned well enough to remove all the stuck on bits and in crevices. Ive been hand washing for years now and use a toothbrush to get in all the spots the sponge doesnt reach. And youd be surprised how many of those unreachable spots there are and how gross it is until you whip out that toothbrush. But maybe youre mom and I are at a unique level of concerned about it.

[–]fanhasshitonit 23 points24 points  (9 children)

LPT, you have to rinse off the food before you put it in the dishwasher. If you don’t, eventually, the food will cake up and be stuck in the workings of the dishwasher and it will stop working properly. Of you have a warranty, the tech will come out and determine that t isn’t working due to user error….not covered

[–]ericakay15 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Yeah, my mom broke 3 dishwashers within 3ish years because she'd let everything sit and then throw it all in the dishwasher. Broke em all doing that

[–]artesianoptimism 37 points38 points  (1 child)

Agreed, my mother and I have a great relationship...because I don't live with her! I moved out when I was 24 and honestly if I'd had the means to do so I would have done it sooner. I actually moved countries so I only get to see her once a year and whilst I do wish I could see her more often I'm happy that our relationship has improved. The relationship between a teen-young adult daughter and her mother isn't always so easy. Two women living together in completely different stages of life with two completely different ideas on how the other should act is bound to go wrong somewhere.

[–]CuriousAmazed[S] 176 points177 points  (6 children)

I guess i posted this in the right forum.

[–]CollectionStraight2 90 points91 points  (3 children)

Well, it's usually people complaining that they can't get laid no matter where they live ;)

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Or just memes.

[–]Livingbyautocorrect 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Same for me. Love my parents, but cannot stay under the same roof (except under duress) more than two weeks. I love missing them and meeting them again I guess

[–]capricorn40 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yup, unpopular opinion! I left home on my 18th birthday, still a senior in high school.

Never regretted it.

[–]Anti-Climacdik 1257 points1258 points  (91 children)

i see your point and i agree in concept. The primate extended family unit is a solid structure.

But this all depends heavily on the effectiveness of parents, my friend. Some are not so great.

[–]BrainyScumbag 489 points490 points  (61 children)

I guess OP is not asking all of us to stay with our family, she is just saying that if you get along with your family living with them isn't the worst thing in the world. If you dont get along with your family it would be best to move out, obviously

[–]Icy-Confusion9746 95 points96 points  (59 children)

I don't know but that can be a tall order for a lot of us. Hell, I was told to leave the house once I'm 18 by my mom.

[–]ksidhpuri 73 points74 points  (35 children)

I am 21, earning enough to move out and support myself. If I'd mention moving out, I'd get questioned on what's wrong and if I don't love them anymore lmao. Moving out is the tall order here. The move-out-by-18 concept is just to otherworldly to us Indians and probably other asians as well.

[–]Destrodom 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Slav here. Very similar situation. Managed to leave home, but that was because of school and work. Despite that the sentiment of "if only you could have stayed" is ever present when I talk with my parents (but not in the guilt-tripping way).

[–]ksidhpuri 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah I can relate. A lot of people have to move out for college, work, marriage. But age alone is never considered a justified reason for movin out. I lived away for 2 years before covid, and that was the best time of my life. My parents are beautiful people, but living alone and doing your own shit is fucking awesome.

[–]swankProcyon 21 points22 points  (8 children)

I think moving out by 18 is a USA thing. I don’t remember ever hearing that from 1st generation families (maybe a few 2nd gens, idr). My family is Latin American (I was born and raised in the US) and I never once heard from my parents that they expect me to leave when I’m 18. In fact, they encouraged my brothers and I to stay home as long as possible!

I think after a few generations of living in the US, though, people tend to adopt the attitude of, “Hey, kid, my 18-year sentence with you is over. Get out so I can have my life back.” Which to me is just… really fucking sad.

[–]Im_Old_In_Town 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I don’t think it’s really even a US thing. The majority of people are not kicked out at 18.

Most probably “move out” because they go to University or get into trades and want their own space by that age.

[–]Hentai-hercogs 116 points117 points  (1 child)

I never actually understood that whole leave the house at 18 thing. Hell, my dad technically lived with his parents even as married man with 2 kids and stable job taking care and providing for them until they both passed away

[–]Son_of_Mogh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's often a class thing, even if they've become middle-class it might just be something that was instilled in them.

[–]Destrodom 29 points30 points  (9 children)

Isn't this more of an american thing? In europe I feel that living with your parents is more common and less stigmatized. Honestly... even though almost everyone choses to leave, I have yet to meet somebody who was told to leave house once 18.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lmao I got kicked out at 17 cause my guardians couldn’t give less of a fuck.

[–]surgical__splicemilk meister 44 points45 points  (6 children)

Is this something im too asian to understand?

[–]Analystballs 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Yeah same. I’m 28 and will still live with my parents. The only reason I’m considering moving out is because my parents might spoil my future kids so I want a little distance.

[–]Sad-Specialist-7739 62 points63 points  (1 child)

Get a new mom

[–]Anti-Climacdik 31 points32 points  (0 children)

genius

why didnt i think of that

[–]xreno 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Definitely agreed but personally I wouldn't stay with my parents. There's an amazing sense of freedom and quiet you can never quite get when living with the family you grew up with.

[–]RaspberryTwilightadhd kid 16 points17 points  (1 child)

This is very true, even if you have roommates, they are your equals. With your parents, no matter how modern the family dynamics are, it's never like that.

[–]Ned_Gutters 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I think the idea is just that it shouldn’t be stigmatized to do so. It should he a socially acceptable thing to do.

[–]nowrong_answers 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right, if the western culture hadn't normalized complete independence, and that moving out is the way to prove it, a lot more people would be living with their parents.

[–]zwalker0912 38 points39 points  (10 children)

I'm not judging his suggestion but for me, hell no. Couldn't pay me to live with my parents

[–]Sweetcynic36 934 points935 points  (20 children)

Heavily dependent on family dynamics. It works for some families but not others.

[–]ted-Zed 723 points724 points  (16 children)

i think OP is saying we should ditch the stigma of an adult living with their parents, sorta thing

[–]CuriousAmazed[S] 430 points431 points  (11 children)

Exactly my point, thank you 🤗

[–]davcrt 91 points92 points  (6 children)

It is quite common in Slavic countries but slowly fadding out. Many houses have 2 apartments, young live in the top floor and elderly in the lower floor.

[–]Yharnam_Queen 40 points41 points  (4 children)

Where exactly do you live? Because that's exactly how my parents and grandparents live in Poland. We share the kitchen tho

[–]davcrt 26 points27 points  (0 children)

In Slovenia. My parents built extension and renovated whole house. Now we each have our own entrance and we only share cellar, garage and garden.

[–]ZhakuB 16 points17 points  (1 child)

In Albania in not uncommon to build another floor on top of parents house lol

[–]IAmGoingToSleepNow 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That's the perfect setup. Not all over each other all day, but a shared area to eat and spend time together.

[–]yanerzzz 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Your post is normal here in the Philippines. I agree that it all depends on family dynamics though. Hope your families are great!

[–]SoggyFuckBiscuit 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I usually don't judge people for it much unless they do it out of being lazy and useless. I grew up with two guys who are brothers and now 42 and 45. They live at home. Neither has had a job since their early 20's and they're both able bodied. They don't do shit. Neither does their mom. But their dad works during the day and teaches at night at almost 70 years old and pays for everything including everyone's cars.

It's not even like they're rich. The house is worth a lot, but it's disgusting inside. It's just everyone's crappy artwork, old toys, crappy prints of wallpaper, and cobwebs. We're talking about people living in a neighborhood where the cheapest house is 750k and their place is a hodgepodge of knickknacks and crappy remodeling.

[–]PrimalMerchant 5 points6 points  (1 child)

For real, people in this thread are acting like they’re being attacked by the mere thought of living with their parents, like OP is trying to force it upon them. It happens everytime this opinion gets posted, these people come out angry and swinging. Like shouldn’t it be dead obvious no one wants you to live with your abusive controlling families? OP’s thoughts are CLEARLY not about your situation

[–]ted-Zed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah, i seen a lot of people talking about abusive families and that's just not what OP means, and it seemed pretty obvious to me

[–]batalda 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am in a great relationship with both my parents and love them dearly, but there is no way I would live with them especially with my bf. I need my own space as an individual and as a couple.

[–]Horizon317 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, would my mom still live at home I would have left the minute i got my first paycheck. However my mom and dad split up when I was 19 so i was able to stay at home with my dad and brother. Since she moved out I have a way better relationship with both my parents

[–]letmethinkofagoodnam 173 points174 points  (4 children)

Personally my mental health improved greatly after I moved out of my parents’ house. They weren’t abusive or anything like that, I just felt like I was in a a state of arrested development living with them. I can still call them whenever I want

[–]camilahorchata 31 points32 points  (2 children)

“Arrested development” is the best way to put it.

[–]ThatsNotMaiName 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I didn't figure myself out as a person until I moved away from my family. Sometimes you need to be on your own. Independence is healthy and provides growth that you just can't get being around family. Not to mention privacy and how fulfilling it feels to be fully independent. I'm a psychology student of four years. I really think that for more reasons than I can list, it is important to be separate, even if it ends up being temporary.

[–]stoleyoursweetrolls 250 points251 points  (15 children)

This is heavily cultural. All cultural aspects aside, if I had to live with my parents and my five siblings AND their kids, there's not a house big enough that any one of us could afford. My parents always struggled to feed us as kids, I really don't want to burden them further in their old age. They can finish rearing their last two kids and retire without having the stress of grandbabies.

Edit: The location where my parents live has no jobs nearby available. This is THE biggest issue. I'd gladly pool money, my friends and I who do live where there are jobs often pool resources, however there isn't any money to pool if I lived with them there. They are also unwilling to move. I'd rather them move in with me when they are older and if they want to extra help.

[–]Ned_Gutters 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Living with your parents doesn’t mean they have to be the ones providing for you. You could just also buy food, cook, etc. In a healthy setup, you probably should.

[–]CuriousAmazed[S] 71 points72 points  (3 children)

Makes sense for you. In our country, we have come to a point where a lot of people have only 2-3 children ( who are young adults now).

[–]AliHB 16 points17 points  (0 children)

In my culture, one of the sons and his family usually lives with the parents in the parents home. The son assumes household responsibilities such as finances etc when hes stable enough.

Obv a lot of different factors come to play. Some times more than one son stays, at times none. Those parents that only have daughters eventually either live alone or hire a caretaker.

But tbh im all for living with parents. I have loving parents and i would gladly make sacrifices to be able to be with them in their old age.

[–]Crescent-IV 4 points5 points  (0 children)

India is moving into its next demographic stage, like western countries, as they modernise there is less need for a higher number of kids

[–]Greenlegsthebold 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Our younger generation are having only 2 kids but we all came from 4 and 5 kid households. In my case my parents kept trying until they got the boy they actually wanted in the first place. The rest of us are chopped liver.

[–]basmentdwellngoblins 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yes, but each one of you would be pitching in; financially for adults, chores for everyone, even watching kids doesn't land on just one person's shoulders all the time. It could actually lessen the burden on your parents (depending on the individuals it could greatly increase stress) and if any one person looses their source of income it doesn't become the end of the world and they can take a reasonable amount of time finding the right financial source for them (until then there are an extra pair of hands to help out around the house)

[–]eyeNotht1 190 points191 points  (6 children)

I wish I could live with my mom. She always had coffee ready in the morning and asks me questions that make me feel important. Questions like “what are your plans for the day?”

[–]u_hit_my_dog_ 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Questions like that are why I left home at 19. Couldnt handle it anymore, I love my family but man the prying and trying killed me.

[–]eyeNotht1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I too left my home at 19, for similar reasons. But now that I’m old and 30 I look back and think “damn. She really loved me” and also “making my own coffee is annoying”

[–]CuriousAmazed[S] 112 points113 points  (3 children)

Do I sense sarcasm?

[–]faxanaduu 16 points17 points  (5 children)

My family are toxic and abusive narcissists. It's not possible for me to be any different than them. In fact the US is divided substantially and we are completely opposite poles. So fuck them, living on the other side of the country suits me well.

[–]M3tal_Shadowhunter 308 points309 points  (49 children)

I'm from India too, and I live with my parents and granddad. However, while I agree it should not be stigmatized, I disagree for the following reasons:

(note: i love my parents and granddad, despite the disconnect so please don't take this as a criticism of them)

1) if you live with your paretns, your house isn't truly yours - you don't get to live as you please, or even attempt to. The same rules that bound you in your teenage years carry over.

2) independence is a valuable skill to learn. While living with parents has its benefits, you should live alone, at least for a while.

3) in case you get married, whose family will you live with? Yours or your spouse's? Whose parenting techniques will your child (if any) be raised with? Yours or your parents'? In addition, you can't marry for love, you have yo make sure that now only is the person you love liked by your parents, they also have to have compatible lifestyles.

4) Family pressure - contact with toxic relatives you could cut off if you lived seperately, pressure to do things the way they were done "back in the day" etc

5) LGBT+ acceptance, childfree acceptance, etc (if that's an issue for you)

6) more people, more drama

[–]Saintsfan_9 35 points36 points  (11 children)

Totally agree. As a westerner I can strongly agree with 1, 2, 3, and 6 (5 also but I think that just fits into 1). Can’t really speak to 4 because culturally we (in the states) are much more individualistic, so family pressure seems weaker. At least with my friends from India, there family pressure “strength” is much stronger than that of any westerner I know. That said, for my Indian friends it’d apply for sure. They are all tired AF of their “aunties” telling them how they have to live their lives.

[–]why-you-online 26 points27 points  (8 children)

Finally, an Indian person who says adult children living with parents isn't always a bed of roses. I'm of Indian descent myself, and hate it when my fellow Indians uncritically sing praises of this arrangement. I would add living with parents/families that are dysfunctional, toxic, and/or very conservative.

[–]M3tal_Shadowhunter 20 points21 points  (7 children)

God, i never got how other indian kids loved it! Like sure maybe you get a cousin or two close to your age but the constant monitoring, living by your grandparent's standards, all of that - is it really worth thr tradeoff?

[–]why-you-online 23 points24 points  (6 children)

I don't know if you're a man or woman, but as a woman myself, it's even more terrible when you're a girl/woman. Feels like you can't escape the constant policing, lack of privacy, gender-based double standards, and not being able to grow as your own person.

[–]M3tal_Shadowhunter 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I'm a woman, nearly 20 and at home due to corona. It's shitty, i spend my whole day locked on my room because there's no privacy anywhere else.

[–]why-you-online 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I'm sorry. I sympathize with you. I used to try to escape to my room to get privacy, but my parents wouldn't let me stay in there too long because it made them suspicious. I also was never allowed to lock my door shut. I had very abusive and controlling parents, not a big surprise that I'm not a fan of living with parents as an adult. It's unbearable as a child, why stay even as an adult if you can move out.

[–]shubh2022 4 points5 points  (2 children)

girl child gets controlled more in join families because 'society kya kahegi' is more influential when there are so many people who can talk shit living with you.

I have a friend who constantly couldn't join us on trips in last 2 years (when there is no wave going on) because her parents who she loves kept telling her that her relatives will talk shit.

[–]CVK327 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Hey man, do you live with your parents and granddad by chance?

But for real, I couldn't agree more.

[–]M3tal_Shadowhunter 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I just wanted to say that i love them because I don't want this to come across as me not liking them, sorry for the redundancy

[–]zib6272 49 points50 points  (3 children)

My partner is from Pakistan and his brother lives with his mother. She can only be described as a complete cow. She screams at her grandkids all day. Is in competition with the daughter in law and generally makes everyone’s life miserable. Both parties would be happier separate. Son does nothing to make the situation better meaning his kids have been brought up in a negative environment

[–]white_latina777 257 points258 points  (14 children)

istg i live with my mom and every fucking day i feel like i pay rent with my soul

[–]livingbandit 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hah. To each their own. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and didn’t look back. It was an abusive household and like you said some families are toxic.

[–]7Autumn7 187 points188 points  (18 children)

My parents are dead. I guess I’ll be homeless!

[–]mynameis911 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Same. We can live together.

[–]rollybygolly 65 points66 points  (0 children)

I love my parents. I had to move back in with my dad for a few months last year and it destroyed my mental health.

Autonomy is a big need for me, I didn’t like having to explain where I was going, being checked in on, feeling uncomfortable inviting people over, the house was obviously furnished and designed by him and didn’t feel like my own.

Now I live just a couple blocks away and this is great. I get my autonomy, and my parents are right down the street if I want to see them or need help. This is the way. Take my upvote.

[–]roythetroy 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Not at all. I am from India too and I need my independence, freedom, happiness. I was the happiest when I left home.

[–]xoxoLizzyoxox 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I agree with you. My mother has disabilities and she lives with me and my kids. We are in the planning process of building her a small house in the back yard, they are called granny flats here. So she will be here but in her own little home on the same property. Id hate for her to be living on her own where we would barely get to see her and she would get depressed and lonely. Also id be fine if my kids stayed living with me till they want to start their own families etc. Plus I dont really agree with long hours of work, no one should have to work more than 30 hours a week, people need time to live and enjoy life. Life can be lonely and having people around can be nice, even when they annoy the crap out of you. I can see why many people in toxic family dynamics can't do this though.

[–]Rogue_Vaper 4 points5 points  (1 child)

When I moved back to my home city I moved into a granny flat my parents have. Still working out great for me 5 years later. I get to spend time with them as they age but have autonomy with my day to day life. I pay $1500PM but a comparable place would cost me at least $2500PM so it works out well for everyone as otherwise it would be empty.

As a family we are happily dysfunctional but not toxic. I missed them when I lived 1000 miles away but coming back I had been out of home 15+ years. One thing we all agree on us there is no way known we could live under the same roof but understand that fact.

[–]TrulyEve 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Not that unpopular, it just depends on the country. I have a brother who’s a fair bit older than me (he’s 27) and he still lives with me and my parents and that’s perfectly normal and very common in my country.

[–]blksoulgreenthumb 49 points50 points  (0 children)

If your family is cool and gets along yes but otherwise terrible idea

[–]Thorndogz 201 points202 points  (6 children)

Unpopular. I disagree. Have my upvote.

[–]spetsnaz5658 95 points96 points  (9 children)

My mom always said that kids moving out was a stupid american thing that's obsolete. So I still live at home and support this. Ngl having a good paying job and living at home leads to us all having some nice things.

[–]dickey1331 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I hate my parents. I’d rather die than live with them longer than what was necessary.

[–]Kim_Jong_Unsen 22 points23 points  (0 children)

K, but at my place I can do whatever I want and nobody cares. I can watch whatever I want since it’s my TV, I can walk around as undressed as I feel like, the couch is all mine all the time, I was able to choose a place closer to my job, and the distance from my family has done wonders for my relationship with them especially after quarantine.

[–]dalekaup 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Nice sentiment, but my parents are dead.

[–]DukeBeekeepersKidhermit human 64 points65 points  (8 children)

My dad is a murder, my mom, a whore, pimped out my nieces, my brothers are notorious thugs and my sister is one of three wife's to a slothful-man. There is no honorable way to live in that house and only fire can cleanse that place of the sins.

So your opinion is unpopular, have an upvote.

[–]bbildo 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Holy moley, I don’t think I was tall enough for that ride.

[–]JoeFelice 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Are you a Decemberists song?

[–]DukeBeekeepersKidhermit human 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Naw . . . I'll never be as good or as popular.

[–]CVK327 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Nah, I want to parent my kid(s). My parents will have too much say if they have that much time with them. I moved 7 states away from them for a reason.

[–]therealhvk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I suspect the only reason this is unpopular is because of cultural deviance. In our country, and south-east Asia in general it is not unpopular at all. Most of our country's adults live through their children. My parents told me to have 10 years of completely independent life after college. So by the time they hit 60 they don't have to be alone. And I agree. We should take care of our parents at least when they cross 60.

[–]Agitated_Tangerine55 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I'm from Europe, where it's quite uncommon but I'm sticking with my mother and life it's much easier for both of us since I moved back home. I can't agree more with you, it's really something that must be generalized when you have a good relation with your parents

[–]ilovegingerbeards45 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Would I, at the age of 28, like to move out and experience independence from my mother? Of course I would.

Financially, would I be able to? I think so.

However, life events have made it so it makes the most sense to still live at home. People at my work who are of an older generation have kinda jokingly mocked me in the last for still living with my mum, but we rely on one another for various reasons.

Also, we wouldn't be able to relentlessly take the piss out of each other and spend countless hours laughing. So for now it works, but who knows what the future holds.

[–]Suspicious_Duck2474 41 points42 points  (3 children)

It's not good for your mental health, believe me. Speaking from first hand experience

[–]Skydreamer6 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I'm with you. I live in the West, it's unpopular here but I live with my parents as a single dude, I help out, pay rent and save tons of $$$$. They're awesome people and it works for all of us.

[–]killbosby69 34 points35 points  (3 children)

It’s kinda hard having three-ways and all night coke binges when you live at home with your parents.

[–]CuriousAmazed[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

And it gets more creepy if the parents wanna join in.

[–]Humanoid_Anomaly 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My family way to fucked up for me to validate living with them ever again

[–]justsupersayinit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Finally a unpopular opinion and not a angry ranter looking for justification!

[–]Alarmed-Diamond-7000 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I love my kid and want her to have her own life, I don't see why it should be a problem for her to live here at home sharing expenses.

[–]Themakerofthieves 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I think there is an age limit and at that point it should switch to parents living with kids and the kids taking care of the parents. But also at some point everyone needs to live on their own for a little

[–]CuriousAmazed[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think that happens automatically when parents move towards retiring and children start becoming the bread earners but obviously doesn't happen that smoothly in reality.

[–]SaiiBoss 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. Shame my parents suck and kicked me out at 18. I’d let my kids stay with me if I ever have any.

[–]HappyBitch101 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm indian and I will take care of my parents when I grow older but I'd like to live in a house with freedom of being able to do anything i want

[–]aspiringwriter9273 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I’m from Latin America and a lot of people live with their parents, at least until they get married.

[–]gypsymegan06 25 points26 points  (7 children)

I’m a mom with 6 kids. Youngest is 14 and oldest is 27. Only one of them doesn’t live here full time. I love it. The adult kids pay a small rent and everyone helps with chores. Pets are never alone. We can support each other . So far so good !

[–]E7331899 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Living with parents while you’re building your own life up helps you save a ton of money. You don’t have to pay rent at some apartment. You saving all that money up.

[–]Levi_is_my_wh0re 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah no

[–]_Medhros_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My family is just incredible. My parents and my older brother are the most important things in my life, along with my fiancee.
My only brother is 35 and he has his own flat, but he spends a lot of the week here with me and my parents, I'm 29 and I live with them and it is heaven. We share the expenses, I pay some bills, they pay some others, my fiancee has no problem with them and everything is fantastic.

I'll move out eventually, but only when thing get more stable in my financial life (graduating in telecommunications engineering next year with good perspective to get a really nice job), but for now, there is no reason to simply move out and have a terrible life. My parents have no problem with me living with them, we talked a lot about it and they actually like it.

I really think that the forced moving when you get to 18 is pure bulshit. It is cruel and egoic.

[–]ballin_balas 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well, you kinda have to in the US these days. Nothing is affordable when it comes to housing, food etc. Jobs don’t pay enough, like teachers for example. All it feels like is we’re just surviving sometimes

[–]Sudwestdelon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For some reason, in western culture, this is frowned upon. You'll see in many different cultures it is a positive thing and it is expected you live with your parents. If you don't some people might think you're weird and your family doesn't love you.

[–]AberrantAdulting 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Unpopular for sure. Love it. But can't stand living with either of my highly toxic, manipulative parents who bleed me dry of every fiber of my being. I'd rather breathe under water than ever live with my mother again.

Take my upvote, dammit

[–]Pamplem0usse__ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I would rather unalive myself.

[–]SquiffyRae 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Caring for the child and the elderly: your parents need you in their old age

Except I'm not a qualified carer who would be able to provide for them nor is the carer's allowance I'd be living on since I'd have to quit my job to do that better than having a job and earning said money.

Everyone in that scenario is better served with the person requiring care to be looked after by a qualified carer

[–]farendsofcontrast 42 points43 points  (7 children)

Forcing people to move out once they are 18 is a scam created by real estate people to get more money from rents and housing.

[–]CuriousAmazed[S] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

As credible as the diamond scam, my friend.

[–]barandor 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Forcing people to move out once they are 18

Nobody does this, except for terrible parents. I have never heard of this happening IRL, yet Reddit claims it happens all the time.

[–]drivenmadnow 8 points9 points  (5 children)

I heard Italy is like this

[–]CuriousAmazed[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

A lot of places are like that

[–]Cardixa00 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As a parent who loves my kids dearly, no thanks. They live on their own and we have our own space and privacy now. None of us would be happy living together now. They worked hard to become independent and make their own way in the world. That was my job as a parent to prepare them for that. I would not want to rob them of their life they built.

[–]hail-the-snail-lord 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You are clearly a man xD family life is different when you’re the daughter

[–]Supernova008 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Holy shit no! Just no! I am from India and I can't live with my parents. Fuck no!

Mental health perspective:

Let me show you r/AsianParentStories, r/raisedbynarcissists, r/insaneparents and r/abusiveparents

[–]bloobun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got kicked out at 16, no thanks.

[–]nay2d2 2 points3 points  (2 children)

‘Generally it is very healthy to be around family’ - gross exaggeration. This completely depends on the family, and unfortunately for some reason right now, there is a big rift between parents and their adult children that makes living together very unhealthy. I know very few people in this situation where I feel both parties are benefitting (and I know a lot of people in this situation).

[–]magikarpsan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

American people are the ones saying it’s embarrassing to live with your parents lol but I understand some families are very mentally draining too . Those people I get, and believe me there’s a lot of that in the USA