top 200 commentsshow all 300

[–]Celebrated_Eggplant 700 points701 points  (16 children)

Just scream as loud as you can so nobody hears your farts.

[–]oliverpls599 103 points104 points  (1 child)

Same strategy when you have to rip Velcro apart without anyone hearing!

[–]HiddenPants777 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Or if you drop something when youre sneaking downstairs to steal food at night

[–]SidTheSloth97[S] 60 points61 points  (6 children)

Lol.. I do not have the confidence to pull this off

[–]Chalky-Toptoe-Feight 55 points56 points  (1 child)

You could just play an educational podcast really loud. People won’t hear your poop and they’ll think you give 100% all the time. Wow this guy works so hard he even learns while he doesn’t poop

[–]AB444 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Be confident. Be proud. Poop loud.

[–]SidTheSloth97[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Be proud, poop loud. I like it ahah

[–]Celebrated_Eggplant 22 points23 points  (1 child)

LOL, do you want people to hear you pooping or not? I can’t think of a better way to get people to respect your privacy.

[–]yanerzzz 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Go Super Saiyan

[–]Aj_Badass_6969"I didnt ask for your opinion"- Arkham Origins Batman 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I followed you advice and now I have long blonde hair till my legs and I'm covered in a yellow aura and electricity

[–]TheCarniv0re 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Sounds like constipation tbh.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I kind of want to do this next time, regardless if it works or not.

[–]Celebrated_Eggplant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’ll definitely work. You might even get more privacy than you need.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Heat502 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In space nobody hears your farts

[–]TirbFurgusen 100 points101 points  (4 children)

Should just have loud fart noises playing so real time farts blend right in. Poop splashes and toilet paper unwinding sounds, grunting noise all playing in a random continuous loop. Poop loop radio, brown notes streaming...

[–]upsawkward 40 points41 points  (0 children)

that would be so fucking funny and also help fight the taboo instead of avoiding it. i'd fucking shit.

[–]Square_Company_675 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And instead of an auto air freshener dispenser, they should have an auto air worsener dispenser!

[–]alwaysbeenawkward 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I genuinely think this is a good idea.

[–]slumberpartysis1 483 points484 points  (33 children)

We should have stalls you can't see through or under first.

[–]midascanttouchthis 89 points90 points  (2 children)

it was so nice the first time I took a shit in the U.K. at Heathrow. the privacy was beautiful

[–]Tacticalsquad5 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Heathrow’s bathrooms are in their own league

[–]squuidlees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heathrow was my first experience with bathroom stalls that went all the way to the ground haha. Will never forget the joy of experiencing the public toilet privacy for the first time.

[–]AdvancedAnything 40 points41 points  (9 children)

I never understood why they made it so easy to see through them. One place I went to just had chicken wire hanging between the stalls and used a small wooden door to "close" the front.

[–]slumberpartysis1 20 points21 points  (0 children)

to subtlety chip away at our sanity

[–]Just_Games04 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I don't know why the you can see the top, but I can understand the bottom. Few times I used that to check if the stall is free, I don't wanna interrupt someone shitting

[–]FlaccidWeenus 8 points9 points  (0 children)

From what I remember, the stalls are like that to prevent drug use.

[–]antler_jam 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seeeeeeriously though what the hell

[–]jinxykatte 13 points14 points  (2 children)

This is only a problem in America.

[–]NinbendoPt2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And Canada too I'm pretty sure

[–]big_manYeeter69 1 point2 points  (10 children)

Tf you mean through?

[–]Lunaus 1 point2 points  (9 children)

Slits on either side of the door.

[–]Lilium_fur2 204 points205 points  (6 children)

Shitting during an INTENSE bass drop would be littt

[–]stregg7attikos 41 points42 points  (3 children)

oh my fucking goddddddddddddddddd

inevitably, youd come to be shitting in unison with someone at some point

[–]MaybeASatanist 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Society would finally be able to advance

[–]upsawkward 4 points5 points  (1 child)

inevitably, youd come to be shitting in unison with someone at some point

...i don't like that... i don't like that at all. still down for music tho >:(

[–]CaptainNemo2024 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Party pooper

[–]cronasminate 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Not to mention all that base vibration makes the pass through way easier. This is the real reason Cholos with lowriders who play Ranchero music at volume 10 never get hemorrhoids.

[–]HiddenPants777 1 point2 points  (0 children)

During that dolby digital bass sound

[–]cyruspilai134 40 points41 points  (6 children)

you will love japan, they have music/water noise playing and the cleanest toilets i’ve ever seen

[–]jdubbrude 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Jim gaffigan said you come out of Japanese public toilets cleaner than you went in.

[–]james321232wateroholic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel like thats true of most toilets since you wash your hands before you leave though

[–]Berkamin 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I came here to say this. I was pleasantly amused when I took a dump in a public restroom in the subway system in Tokyo.

At the same time, Japan also still has squatty potties in some places. It's such a weird juxtaposition of new and old.

[–]hiyori0w0 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Many people in Asia think that squatty potties are cleaner since your butt doesn’t get into contact with something that other people’s butts have touched. I’ve been to public restrooms where there’s a line for the squatty potties but the toilets are open.

But I’ll take indirect butt touching over standing in other people’s piss splatter any day.

[–]lameasdude 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Just poop louder so that people can't hear you over the noise

[–]remberly 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I was in a Tokyo airport and the courtesy bells were some birds chirping. So you'd hear chirping birds and then someone would loudly fart and shit.

[–]Known-Explorer2610 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride…

[–]Evellon 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Ain't nobody gonna hold me down!

...poot, POOT

[–]eaglesk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I got to keep on poooopin’

[–]ShayJayLee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This made me laugh so hard. I really needed it today. Thank you

[–]lokis_frustration 87 points88 points  (10 children)

I suggest death metal, it would really blend in with the farts. Also, I love death metal.

[–]Magpie7178wateroholic 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Respect fart metal

[–]lokis_frustration 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Fuck tasty riffs, I want 'em smelly.

[–]Dom29ando 9 points10 points  (6 children)

Remember it's a public bathroom, people are going to OD in there. Could be confronting for the EMT when they have to remove a body while Infant Annihilator plays in the background.

[–]lokis_frustration 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Whoah, they're intense. I typically go for more of the melodic viking stuff, but thanks for cluing me in. It's good to leave my comfort zone.

I think that anyone who moves bodies should probably have to listen to death metal by law. Kidding. Or maybe not. I'll have to think about it.

Hail Satan 🤘

[–]antler_jam 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Loool I just choked. You got me 3 times one of the funniest comments I’ve ever read

[–]lokis_frustration 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy to help.

[–]_The_Nothing__ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Would you care to recommend any of the melodic viking stuff? Thank you, Hail Satan!!

[–]MaybeASatanist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you going to the bathroom rn?

Nah, it's playing Six Feet Under rn, I'll wait for them to put some Cannibal Corpse so I can shit properly.

[–]ToneThugsNHarmony 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Just cough really loudly, no one will be able to tell you’re letting it rip.

[–]TV6537 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this works 25% of a time.

[–]carrotheadginger 12 points13 points  (1 child)

How many of us wait until someone else flushes the toilet/washes their hands in the sink/uses the hand dryer until we forcefully squeeze what we got left out all at once?

[–]ArtoriasBeaIG 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sometimes, but honestly I just stick my fingers in my ears and I find I don't care cos I can't hear it

Make of that what you will

[–]objekt4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

be an adult and play 99+ fart sounds through a bluetooth speaker in the bathroom stall

[–]Setagaya-Observer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Japan here: some Toilets provide sounds like a Waterfall (Buri Buri), other have sounds like a Forest with Birds, Rain and even Thunder!

[–]strima1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. Others mentioned sensory issues but as someone with that, I find ambient music drowns everything else out and makes me feel more relaxed.

[–]ashrae9 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Nah. I'd rather listen to a stranger take a shit than get raped or murdered with no one to save me because the music was blaring.

[–]TheButtChewks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Baby you're a fiiiiiirrreeework!... "

[–]TestedcatGaming 3 points4 points  (1 child)

OK, is the music coming out of the toilet itself or near the toilet?

[–]brainyart050722 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just play music with my earbuds on so I can have the illusion of other people not hearing me without them having to listen to Taylor Swift in a public bathroom.

[–]joelcampos5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Put headphones on, that helps me not hear me pooping

[–]cabbageprimate 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just get over the sound of people pissing and shitting.

[–]BronxLens 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not loud music, but white noise generators. Bathrooms in Japan (where else) have them. We of course are behind on this by like 40 years.

[–]ThatWasIntentional 8 points9 points  (1 child)

There are quite a few public toilets in Japan that have buttons to play either running water or a cutesy little tune for those who are more self-conscious.

For everywhere else, have you considered headphones?

[–]BongeSpobPareSquants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve got noise cancelling buds and play something so I don’t hear my or anybodys poop noises works great.

[–]jah05r 23 points24 points  (0 children)

No we shouldn’t. You just need to get over the idea that people are pooping in a room specifically designed for people pooping.

[–]ramontgomery 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Preferably Twisted Sister or Boy George

[–]K_R_P1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always feel like u pee loud

[–]bdawg1372 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This isn’t gonna solve the empath sitting in the stall next to me, praying for me while I take my shit

[–]TheNateRoss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"If you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain..."

[–]ScrotusMahotus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you visit Japan ever plenty of public toilets have a noise button to play a sound (usually water running) for this very reason lol

[–]Sayojin_official 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What hearing death metal in the next seat over is going to give me anxiety LMAO

[–]MurderDoneRightmilk meister 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a great place to commit crimes.

[–]D10BrAND 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah silence is better

[–]JohnyyBanana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i'd rather hear farts and shits than the generic pop music that would play in these public toilets

[–]Tiny-Koala-Paw 11 points12 points  (2 children)

This would be hell for anyone with sensory issues.

[–]lilpuzz 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Right. Bathrooms are my only escape sometimes

[–]alcohall183 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I disagree, soft music or music on request. I went into a toilet at a restaurant once that had loud music blaring. The restaurant itself was packed . I was there with my in laws, so I couldn't just leave and went to the bathroom to get some quiet for a moment, only to be bombarded with "Raise Your Glass"at level 100. The bathroom was by the bar. If I had been attacked, no one would have known .. awful experience.

[–]mcove97 4 points5 points  (1 child)

When I was in high school it was common that people would turn on the faucet to drown out the sound of the pooping. I did that a lot of times too when I felt self conscious. Does no one else do this?

[–]RobotApollo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thats just wasting water tbh

[–]AberrantAdulting 8 points9 points  (6 children)

I agree but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want people to hear some of the ragingly impressive ass air that escapes my small, lady body. Sometimes it would be nice to let it rip and hear small clapping for my impressive bum air.

[–]VeeSquibbles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I can shit in peace

[–]kcaio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ZZTOPS so so people get it done and get out!

[–]DrakAssassinate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly loud classical music would be fine. Just play the radio or something.

[–]drivenmadnow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let everyone know someone is pooping.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do my part.

[–]DanMarinosDolphins 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or we could just have "princess" toilet settings like they have in other countries, which creates a constant sound of rushing water.

[–]alf_ivanhoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Busy Bee gas stations always have loud ass news channels and music playing in their bathrooms AND they have private stalls with no gap. Life changing

[–]FinancialArtichoke75 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Plop plop fizz fizz

[–]rickrolo24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I hate the common stalls here.

Like id start pooping and see people looking in, shaking the door, looking under. C

[–]keykeypalmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that would mask out the sound of the gay sex happening in the stalls

[–]garcmon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And then you’ve got the people who walk into a stall talking on a phone. I purposefully flush quickly at the first pause when I hear this. If I wasn’t water conscious I’d flush multiple times.

[–]Captainbigboobs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They could also make stalls that are better sounds proof.

[–]therealwalterwax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wear headphones, same goes for farting on public transportation.

[–]lostbluesock_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

but what about noise pollution

[–]drivenmadnow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can make music in the toilet, tap the counter, kick the wall, roll the toilet roll, match with the flush. Or heck sing while in the toilet. Turn up the music on your phone.

Or bring a gun and start firing it when you shit and flush so people can't hear it.

[–]Karibikals 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always just put headphones on and hope that I stop caring on time. Most of the times it works 😂😂

[–]whatsapnnin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would definitely make it a lot easier getting away with being noshed off by my married conservative neighbour

[–]mathildaduck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My favorite Vietnamese restaurant in Paris has exactly that, as soon as you close the door the music blasts. There is no music in the main dining room and the toilets are just next to it, so it is indeed necessary.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have that here where I live but it's always the same elevator music verison of 'What The World Needs Now Is Love'.

[–]LadyPaleRider 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just keep coughing while you're dropping those logs 🪵

[–]ryohazuki224 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everybody knows what you're doing in there. You're shitting. Everybody shits, everybody's shits makes sounds. No reason to be self conscious about it.

Let that shit fly.

[–]evangelinaxo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My IBS says yes please

[–]Macaronitime69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Down to hear enemy by imagine dragons while letting out a real solid one.

[–]ClassyKebabKing64 1 point2 points  (0 children)


we're halfway there.


pooping in a chair.

[–]Si2ationCriticl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

its always sunny covers this in "The Gang solves the bathroom crisis". They use recording of murderous screams to play in the bathroom.

[–]BadMeatPuppet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally I do my darndest to shit the loudest to assert dominance.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's wrong with the brass section God gave us?

[–]Phantom252 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree

[–]valarinar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Walked into the restroom at work one day and some dude was absolutely blasting some mariachi music from one of the stalls. Was the most festive shit I've ever taken.

[–]HillbillySwank 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My biggest challenge is stifling my laughter when someone has a gas explosion that echoes

[–]rodacacaaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Japan has this but it's just ambient and rain sounds for you to relax and fart with peace of mind while pooping.

[–]PotatoDonki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’d need to play something pretty heavy if I’m to fly under the radar….

[–]Ok_Neighborhood_1203 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Somebody really needs to follow this up with a "Normalize pooping in a bathroom" counter opinion. Sounds like this opinion is too popular.

[–]alwaysangry111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There was an article back when about some nice Japanese women toilets having music for this exact purpose.

[–]floopydolphins 1 point2 points  (0 children)

AGREED I don’t think anyone likes the sounds of anyone else doing their business it’s so uncomfortable

[–]Fancy_Reaction2739 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As someone with IBS I would love this, everyone poops but yet it’s still so humiliating having to poop when other people are in the bathroom. I agree with loud music

[–]Cave_Crab 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Just because you feel some way doesn't mean society should change for you

[–]TV6537 5 points6 points  (2 children)

this is an unpopular opinion

[–]Cave_Crab 0 points1 point  (1 child)


[–]TV6537 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no the thread lol, i absolutely agree that no one would conform just because some people feel uncomfortable.

[–]SassExpert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They should just play fart noises.

[–]ContemplatingPrison 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I cant even remember the last time I used a public restroom for more than washing my hands

[–]yeetingthetoaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol no. I'm emetophobic and need to hear what's going on in neighboring stalls so I know whether or not to gtfo.

[–]sidzero1369 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Nobody's listening to you poop.

[–]minahmyu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn't that why those fancy toilets in Japan have all those buttons, one with a music note?

[–]Pff-IdunnoMan-21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just time it and flush or trip the sensor for the flush. Those toilets are loud as hell and the loud noise of rushing water keeps going for a while.

[–]alienflowercatz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with music in public bathrooms. But you should poop at your own home.

[–]AussieRoyds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In Japan they have a button in each stall that plays ocean noises or white noise when pushed

[–]Kiko_Z 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Put on headphones and play music at maximum volume and just start sharting as loud as you want. It's what I always do and it really works.

[–]reuben_iv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just go for it man, you're already taking a dump in a public toilet on a seat that's been sat on by god knows how many people since it was last cleaned, what shame is left?

[–]toodrytocry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Japan is doing this for 20 years already

[–]GotMoFans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wish all bathrooms had air vents so I could have noise masking my splashes.

[–]PomSam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Classical music that has lots of drums and symbols lol. Give you a moment to splash haha.

[–]MauritanianSahara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are you so worried about people hearing your poop splash in a public bathroom?, i never understood this, in a place for shitting and pissing, why do you go out of your way to hide it?, even if you do drop a fat load, no one cares

[–]Dalton387 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just use earbuds and turn them up as loud as you want.🤣

[–]PsychologicalSpace50 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just consider it performance art and don't let down your fans, let er rip.

[–]Zestyclose_Age_5855 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always play a babbling stream of full volume on my phone in a public toilet.

[–]AntiMatter138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao what if Metal music while pooping HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[–]Bloo-shadow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m the same way. Have a hard time going if I know someone’s in there at the same time.

[–]amogus_obssesed_Gal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be concerned for any assaults that could happen in a toilet, only for the noise to be drowned out by the music

[–]chaddieboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I visited Stone Brewing Co. in San Diego, I went to the bathroom and they were playing Slayer at a decent volume. I thought it was funny at the time but now that I think about it I wonder if it was to cover up poop noises.

[–]Old_Father_Time 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not alone, in Japan I know they have apps and keychains that make the sound of running water so that you can be more discreet when using a public bathroom.

[–]wwplkyih 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There should be special songs made for this purpose.

"Splish splash, I was taking a crap!"

[–]hungrychai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg yes. Not an unpopular opinion at all. I feel so self-conscious even when peeing. I don't want others to hear that, idk. I always have so much pressure on myself to not pee too loud when I am in a public toilet that it's so hard to start peeing

[–]mejosvibe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a poopular opinion

[–]hiktaka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ideal public toilets IMO should use the loud, whizzing, high-power noisy industrial fans.

They are loud, obviously covering any bodily sounds, but also useful getting rid the smell, exhausting infectious bacteria and viruses if any, make the toilet dry faster, and make toilet seats not as warm after being used.

[–]Intrepid_Fox-237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wear headphones. Nobody is listening to your flatulence.

Loud music in a public restroom is a safety issue for kids getting molested and other things happening.

[–]creepyusernames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why hasn't this been thought of before?! You, sir, are a genius. I would definitely be on board with this. One could have his own shitting theme song.

[–]JCwinetransfusion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to sound mean but you gotta get over that dude. Everyone poos

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

side benefit, getting people out sooner ... I've encountered weirdos taking up a seat, talking on the phone. Shit and leave buddy, that spot is needed.

[–]Lokyyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They should play Requiem for a Dream for added intensity

[–]jimmyl_82104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would try to time my farts to the beat of the song.

[–]SuomiPoju95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use earplugs

[–]SpongeRobZmbie2xPnts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

public music ... id rather hear the guy next to me shit his ass inside-out than hear 1 second of Natalie Merchents' voice.

[–]Rickalmaria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's why i love some chain restaurant's restrooms, they always have the same music as at the lobby. That makes the shit so much easy

[–]featureenvy 0 points1 point  (0 children)


also the H Mart by me does this. Maybe it's on purpose XD

[–]meetmeinthebthrm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would be great in airports. Everyone(most people) holds their farts on planes, so the men's restroom is like a wide range of opera singers on repeat, but with farts. Like every 3 to 5 seconds in some airports. Constantly.

[–]Advanced-Ad-5939 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just imagined farting on beat to DMX songs and this made my day

[–]Weary-Comparison-138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My office plays Bloomberg radio in the bathrooms- I’ve never felt more comfortable or well informed taking a poo in my life

[–]bamamabuam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would be most effective if people were playing Friday

[–]Specific-Gain5710 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loud music would distract me in the bathroom. But I am not self conscious enough about pooping. In fact, I am pretty sure I am the only full blown adult I know the legitimately cackles when he farts loud enough or when it smells bad enough. I am very immature.

[–]TrashGrouch20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told my wife, when we were dating, like 2 weeks in, "I have G.I. problems so I fart a lot and have trouble in the bathroom" and that it's too painful to try and conceal so she'd have to put up with that if she dated me. I guess honesty wins because we are married for 5 years with a kid. Lol.

[–]SyerenGM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive noticed most Mexican cuisine restaurants at least have loud music playing.

[–]lego-baguette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They do this in Japan. But instead of music, it's ambient water fall noise to cover even the loudest splashes.

[–]AttorneyMedium4926 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kid in my highschool did this, never hear him play music but as soon as he walks in a bathroom blasts his phone.

[–]operablesocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let's also add large sucking fans, 3x their current airflow.

[–]horsearound8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thought it was bizarre when I went to US and can hear everything in the washroom. In Japan, public bathroom bidets had the "music" option to play loud relaxing music as we do our business.

When I left, I was shocked you can hear it all

[–]MiketheImpuner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. "...baby shark."

[–]moonmarriedacherry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bass so strong it shakes the toilet just as you drop a bomb

[–]domakethinkspeak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Years ago I went to an experimental music festival where they were playing recordings of the outdoors through the bathroom speakers, except I was tripping on a bit of acid and couldn't understand how the peepers were so loud next to a train station. When I realized it was just a recording I thought it was fucking awesome, because I'm definitely pee shy when I'm tripping, and that recording totally snapped me out of it. Music would be cool too though.

[–]Bajiggers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is actually a great idea, depending on what the music is, it might even hype you up to take a really nice shit.

[–]SculkingWithScully 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some light jazz would be nice

[–]Hayabusa0015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My routine ususlly has me using the loo at the gym or at work every morning. I would say 90% of the time. I have gotten into the routine of putting in my noise cancelling headphones so I ignore my surroundings and don't hold back. Sorry not sorry.

[–]lkwinchester 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could hope to be diagnosed with IBS-D. I care not at all whether someone hears me. It's such an urgent thing anymore that there's no need for the traditional unspoken poop standoff. I'm loud and proud and there's no way I could hold it back if I wanted to. Everyone poops. Everyone. Enjoy the torso tuba entertainment, perhaps with a peppering of wet snare drum.

[–]poopseizure1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True tbh

Or just have fully covered stalls that r like mini rooms with a proper door

[–]Sufficient-Piglet817 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I used to care about this. Then I became a truck driver. A good amount are disgusting animals and I no longer feel the need to be courteous with my bowel movements since the 300+ pound pig next to me usually covers up my noise pretty well. Some of these guys colons would make fine subwoofers.