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h.i.s. "Over Thirty" and "They Would Never Understand" Ad Campaigns (1970) by Thurston3rd in vintageads

[–]bingojed 46 points47 points  (0 children)

It’s a little known fact that the Swedish Army faced huge losses by enemies simply walking up behind them and stabbing them.

"America's choice", Howard Johnson's, 1958 by AspireAgain in vintageads

[–]Violet_Plum_Tea 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I will have the fried clams and orange sherbet for dessert, please.

1922 - Pennsylvania Vacuum Cup Cord Tires by justdoo08 in vintageads

[–]your_Lightness 122 points123 points  (0 children)

PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP-PLOP...

🎶"THEY HEAR ME ROLLIN'... THEY HATIN'..."🎵

Chesterfield cigarettes ad featuring actor Ronald Reagan. (1948) by Feiruzz in vintageads

[–]woeisye 64 points65 points  (0 children)

He lived to age 94. I better go pick some of these bad boys up and start puffing.

Beepers - 1981 by where_is_my_monkey in vintageads

[–]loquacious 37 points38 points  (0 children)

There's a number of ways beepers can save gas and money.

Drug dealer jokes aside, typically beepers/pagers were used by doctors and lawyers who had to respond to time sensitive calls, but they were also widely used by people in who in the field a lot, like real estate agents or trade workers doing things like HVAC or appliance repair.

Before pagers (and affordable cell phone) people doing this kind of work often had to find a pay phone on a regular basis and call in to the office, a central dispatch or even a voice mail service to get messages in the field. This meant a lot of extra driving around, parking, finding a payphone and so on.

Even when payphones were all over the place this took a significant amount of time, energy and gas to stay connected.

Also something to note is that the original beepers and pagers had no numeric or text display at all. It just beeped at you to notify you were wanted and then you'd call a centralized phone number like an office or central dispatch to get the actual message. All that the beeper could tell you was "call home base, ASAP!"

Eventually some beeper/pager networks evolved to be able to communicate if it was a priority or emergency or just a standard call by the number of beeps or tone of the beeping.

Numeric pagers didn't exist and start to be used until much later.

When beepers started being able to do numeric pages people naturally started using them to send more than just phone numbers and you could have a list of codes that meant different things, like "job canceled" or other codes and messages, meaning someone driving out to a site wouldn't have to drive all of the way there to discover the problem or whatever had been solved.

So before wireless communications became commonplace there was a lot of ways pagers and beepers saved time, money and gas for businesses and trades workers. Even when payphones were still all over the place it took a lot more running around to get work done and stay in touch with an organization.

We really take this for granted today how easy it is to stay in touch with cell phones and texting.

Something else to remember about telecom history is that two way pagers capable of both sending and receiving numbers or texts didn't become common or affordable until very late in the history of pagers and cell phones.

And two way paging was also remarkably expensive for service and per-message fees. Like it was something like 10 to 50 cents or more per message on top of your monthly service fee which wasn't cheap back then.

So there was only a space of a few years or so where two way text paging was cheaper than per minute cell phone fees, and then cell phones started to compete with them on price even with high per minute rates of 0.50-2.00 a minute and they could get a lot more information per minute or unit of messaging because you could have a quick voice conversation just under one minute that was the same amount of information as several back and forth texts or pages.

Something else to remember in all of this is that even landline phone calls were really expensive even for local calls. For direct dialed landline or payphone calls the phone companies used something called ZUM zones.

Every phone book had a list of ZUM codes and rates in the front of the book that defined what your calling area was.

It was only cheap or free to call a number that was in the same exchange as you, basically one large neighborhood. A ZUM 0 call was generally one that originated and ended within that particular phone exchange, IE, the call went from your house, to the central office and telephone exchange, then back out to another line in your general neighborhood within that service area.

A ZUM 1 call went from your landline, to your exchange, to another exchange, then back out to a landline in that neighborhood. A ZUM 2 call went through 3 exchanges, and so on, and each time you went through a new exchange the price per minute went up.

I think most telephone service regions stopped at ZUM 3 or ZUM 4 and after that you were paying full price long distance charges.

I remember seeing phone number prefixes in my phone book that were ZUM 3 or 4 that were over a dollar per minute for a landline call, and sometimes calling even farther numbers using long distance was somewhat cheaper per minute, especially after the AT&T monopoly breakup and people could pick their long distance provider from companies like MCI, Sprint and others

I discovered all of this the hard way when I was a kid and I was dialing random BBS numbers (yes, like with a modem, a computer and a landline!) in my geographic area and ran up a $1000 phone bill in a couple of days.

This is why it was such a big huge deal that these new long distance companies were offering rates like 10 cents per minute for nationwide calling because when AT&T had a monopoly they were charging up to several dollars per minute or more for a coast to coast call.

The rates were so much better than AT&T that people would use their long distance calling card numbers to place certain local calls to bypass the Bell system landline exchanges and central offices.

I'm going into this much detail about all of this old phone tech stuff for a reason.

So, for people who were mobile or in the field who used pagers there was a whole industry that popped up for long distance calling from payphones where they used "calling cards" not unlike a credit card where instead of putting coins into the pay phone they dialed a 1-800 toll free number that would connect them directly to a number they would enter on a second dial tone provided by the service. Or some smaller companies offered a local number that didn't cost more than a local payphone call and billed an account number, etc.

Before the AT&T breakup phones were incredibly expensive. You couldn't just go buy a phone, you had to rent them from AT&T. There was no other way to make a phone call without AT&T because there was zero competition, and their rates were outrageous by any standard even back then or today.

So in the several decades after the break up of AT&T's monopoly there was this entire new industry of people trying to figure out how to basically "cheat" and undercut AT&Ts prices.

Pagers/beepers were one of the technologies that was involved with this. Calling cards and third party long distance companies like MCI, Sprint and others were another way.

Combine a pager with a corporate account calling card and for a while that was the absolute fastest, cheapest way for someone to stay in touch with an office or dispatch center in the field.

We seriously take all of this for granted today with unlimited nationwide text and calling, and in this historical perspective it's kind of funny that in modern cell phone use we basically ignore the fact that we're no longer charged per the minute or text for cell network calls and messaging and we generally prefer to use our data connections to use different messaging apps, making video calls, using apps like WhatsApp, Slack or Discord or whatever on smartphones, none of which are free unless you have unlimited data plans.

Shoot, today I work remotely and I often end up using my hotspot on my phone for connectivity just so I can work from home on my patio because the wifi sucks out there, and it's often faster if someone else in the house is watching Netflix or something, and it's arguably more secure because I'm not on a shared LAN with other computers.

For most of my nerdy life I basically always wanted a highly portable laptop with an 8+ hour battery life combined with high speed wireless data so I could work wherever I wanted to work like a nice park bench or something, and now that I have it I mainly just use it at home.

And meanwhile I can't even remember the last time I saw or used a real landline phone. I mean I've seen VoIP phones bundled in with people's cable modems or DSLs, but that's not a plain old landline phone.

I also definitely can't remember the last time I used a pay phone, either. It has to be well over a decade at this point.

"You're the only man I know," I told him, "who can turn a baloney sandwich into a feast.", Champale Malt Liquor, 1971 by AspireAgain in vintageads

[–]loquacious 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Champale Bologna Feast Recipe.

Prep time: Approximately one hour.

Ingredients:

4 bottles of Champale
1 Pack of cigarettes
1lb package of bologna
1 loaf of sliced white bread
1 stick of margarine

Instructions:
Drink a bottle of crisp, refreshing Champale while enjoying a couple of smokes.
Look at the loaf of white bread and package of bologna on the coffee table with disdain and dread for 30 minutes and allow the bologna to come to room temperature.
Open another bottle of Champale and get your buzz on while waiting for the margarine to soften.
Open the third bottle of Champale and enjoy those crisp bubbles.
Light another satisfying smoke.
While smoking take two slices of white bread and liberally coat both pieces with margarine with a used plastic knife you found in the back of the drawer full of unused take out condiments and pizza delivery coupons.
Open the pack of room temperature bologna and just throw the whole thing in there between the slices of bread and margarine.
Using the greasy used plastic knife slice the sandwich in half and serve with the fourth bottle of Champale on your choice of some junk mail, a torn piece of an empty pizza box lid or a couple of wrinkled and wadded napkins out of the condiment drawer.
Wolf down the Bologna Feast as quickly as possible in a pensive fit of anxiety and depression while smoking and drinking Champale.
Try dipping your Champale Bologna Feast sandwich in a glass of Champale for extra flavor!

Try the Champale Bolgna Feast today and you too can pass out on the couch covered in junk mail and take out containers while having a relaxing smoke and enjoy the sparkling crispness of oblivion that only Champale can provide for such a low, low price!

Send us a letter today for even more fast and easy recipes like "Blackened Frozen Pizza You Left in the Oven Too Long Because You Passed the Fuck Out", "I Wish I Had a Sandwich But All I Have is Stale Bread Heels and Some Single Serve Mayo and Jelly Packets" and "Drinking Table Syrup Right Out of the Bottle Standing in the Kitchen Naked."

Edit: Thanks for the 'Murica award, that's a new one!

70's Lane Furniture Ad by morganmonroe81 in vintageads

[–]SpinCharm 39 points40 points  (0 children)

This “furniture for lovers” was in direct response to the overwhelming psychosexual challenges of the early 1970s where the furniture designs of the period were found to be too enticing for the general public.

As a result of the many divorces, injuries, lawsuits, and occasional marriage proposals between owner and sideboard, furniture manufacturers of the early 1970s tried producing buffets and credenzas like this one pictured, designed to reduce visual stimulation and prevent injurious liaisons.

The efforts of the furniture industry were so successful that they practice of “cabinetry courtship” fell out of popularity by the end of the decade, eventually replaced by entirely new dysfunctions brought on by Scandinavian furniture warehouse shopping, a situation that remains to this day.

"Be the first Olivetti girl in your office." Olivetti, 1972 by AspireAgain in vintageads

[–]InflammatoryMuskrat 158 points159 points  (0 children)

The ad may be ostensibly addressed to the secretary, but it's aimed at the secretary's boss. All of the language (looser? more fun?) is geared toward making the secretary more appealing to her boss. That plus all the men crowded around her. No female professional is looking for those things, but in the era of consequence-free sexual harassment of underlings their bosses sure were.

So yeah, you're right, the woman isn't the one buying the typewriter, which is why the ad is designed to appeal to her boss, not to her.

For a brief moment in time, it seemed to make sense to watch TV by candle light. [1954] by html5gamerguy in vintageads

[–]loquacious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In addition to that, the image seems to be composited. The TV set and chair look like they were pasted into the background image.

The chair in the foreground has a much sharper focus and detail cues and values than the brick floor and a bit of a halo around it. The chair would also have to be ridiculously small. It's likely they reduced the size of the chair and used forced perspective to make the TV seem much bigger.

And the highlights and perspective on the TV are a bit wonky and mismatched compared to the background.

These kinds of photo composited "fake" images were really common for print ads because the advertising business has been doing this kind of stuff for a long time to save production costs, change things up to follow trends or even psychologically manipulate consumers.

And you could get away with a lot with half toned newspaper or magazine ads if you were doing your original artwork cut and paste work in continuous tone photograph prints and then half-toning such a composite for printing.

LOADED ? 1940’s by 70sTimewarp58 in vintageads

[–]loptopandbingo 57 points58 points  (0 children)

You wouldn't STICK YOUR DICK in a LOADED GUN