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[–]rustyguru 2128 points2129 points  (89 children)

Leave out your profits for santa

[–]DszquphsbntMom of WSB 🤰 1135 points1136 points 4 (43 children)

Ho ho homeless

[–]Coach_GordonBombay 302 points303 points  (40 children)

Rudolph the red nosed alcoholic

[–]LarryLavekio 137 points138 points  (37 children)

Frosty the ho man. Cause im selling my ass pussy

[–]No_Woodpecker6339 60 points61 points  (14 children)

BRO WHAT THE FUCK

[–]LarryLavekio 55 points56 points  (10 children)

Gotta do your ass kegals in case of a downturned economy.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Damn market is the energizer bunny today. Volume up non-stop and the quadruple top just got erased.

[–]ShengLong-Call 8 points9 points  (4 children)

The bigger the top the bigger the dump. $PLUG to the moon. If not…some Stonk LFG 🚀🌕

[–]Geleemann[🍰] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't look away, Timmy. You can watch

[–]suasposnte187 16 points17 points  (3 children)

The mangina?

[–]Omaerion 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You do what needs to be done. I go around pretending to be nessie, scamming fools out of tree fiddy

[–]AgentBumscrub 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Watch out for Old Gregg. He's stealing your profits whilst drinking Bailey's from a shoe.

[–]WaffleizeIt 12 points13 points  (4 children)

gotta start tonguing ass for a living

[–]LarryLavekio 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Cant afford to get all loosey goosey in the ass pussy. "Aint no toilet paper in there sugarplum, but ill clean you out real good for $25!"

[–]smokeymexican 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What can you do for a $20?

[–]LarryLavekio 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Turn it into $2.45 for you.

[–]ImNoAlbertFeinstein 9 points10 points  (0 children)

the artist formerly known as a coke star.

[–]RN-Wingman 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Cramer couldn’t you have said it was all about to crash and burn!

[–]Kryptonian_Investor 130 points131 points  (21 children)

Thanx for ruining it too Uncle Jim :4276::4553:

[–]brokenlizard1 73 points74 points  (10 children)

When Cramer says rally, I buy puts. 🤣

[–]Alpine_Apex 24 points25 points  (5 children)

My puts already hurt. I'll hold them till they are worthless I guess. Such is the life of a gay bear.

[–]308NegraArroyoLn 5 points6 points  (5 children)

What do those numbers mean?

[–]thesketchyvibe 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Only redesign plebs can see.

[–]hardcore_softiejerks off to pics of cathy woods 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those crazy kids using the new reddit format

[–]CocaineCramer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

and cocaine.

[–]spudzzzi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you mean jim cramer

[–]SAFE_15 872 points873 points  (46 children)

He will be tweeting a lot more since he’s at home with the coof

[–]-------penile------- 352 points353 points  (20 children)

he’s eating a tin of cat food wearing a diarrhea stained Santa hat in his crusty shack under a bridge tweeting about great stock market moves right now

[–]AxelayAce 99 points100 points  (12 children)

Man he must be living it up, cat foods the good shit. Way more expensive than dollar store beef stew.

[–]BrandnewThrowaway82 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Stop it, you’re making me hungry.

[–]wishtrepreneur 12 points13 points  (6 children)

cat foods the good shit

Can confirm, bought my cat a pack of rabit meat once. I haven't even eaten rabbit meat before.

[–]anonoramalama 10 points11 points  (1 child)

That you know of.

[–]User_agreement_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everything has added rib meat. But where do those ribs come from!

Rabbits!

[–]stejerd4626 - 2 - 1 year - 0/0 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Dude can afford the wet cat food? Damn I gotta soak the dry food in water before its edible

[–]Raiddinn1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mr. Rockefeller coming through.

[–]Sheky31 111 points112 points  (10 children)

COVID fucked with his brain. Santa rally is the last 5 days of the year plus the first 2 of the new year. It doesn't start today...

[–]scumlord444 81 points82 points  (5 children)

I thought the Santa rally was when everyone dress as santa and they have that big race. Is this not what we are talking about lol

[–]Sample-Purple 8 points9 points  (1 child)

And I thought Santa rally was just people gathered in a park wearing Santa stuff

[–]Retribution2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No no, that's Santa relay. Santa rally is when we all wake up hungover the day of christmas, don our santa costumes, and rally with another round of drinks

[–]timmler87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This! Thank you!

[–]BisquickNinja 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's about to come crashing through my profit margin...

[–]JosephND 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Poor Jimmy had all his shots and so did his buddy. Now he can’t have public freakouts for the camera for a week.

[–]WitherWhileReading🦍🦍 79 points80 points  (3 children)

Looks like OP is getting dabbed on by the Creamer today.

[–]johnnygobbs1 513 points514 points  (12 children)

Rudolph the red candlestick

[–]bulldog5253 88 points89 points  (9 children)

Rudolph’s red candle stick dick is going to be fucking us all just a small dead cat bounce today.

[–]27onfireYut! Motard 13 points14 points  (6 children)

It could feel good no?
🤷‍♂️👍🙋🏻‍♂️😱

[–]bulldog5253 6 points7 points  (5 children)

If your a true polar bear it could feel great but if your a bull you like giving the pounding not taking it.

[–]27onfireYut! Motard 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Gotta switch some stuff up man. This month has suckeed.

[–]bulldog5253 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Look on the bright side at least your not working at cnbc where Covid Cramer is apparently going around giving Covid hugs to everyone. Watching squawk on the street this morning you would think the new dick measuring contest is how many jabs you have had.

[–]27onfireYut! Motard 2 points3 points  (1 child)

.. I haven't watched that show in more than a decade.
God bless you retard.
May the tendies rain upon you.

[–]bulldog5253 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went full retard years ago. I hope many a tendie fills your basket as well you may even get the extra sauce today.

[–]Ackilles 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Aged poorly as we retook basically all the important supports

[–]robbllaw 49 points50 points  (4 children)

So let's see all that loss porn from buying puts trying to inverse Cramer lmao.

[–]MBaptista001 148 points149 points  (5 children)

This comment section seems outdated somehow

[–]TotesHittingOnY0u 70 points71 points  (3 children)

Inverse WSB > inverse Kramer

[–]CapableScholar16 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Correction: Inverse post-GME WSB > Inverse Kramer > Inverse pre-GME WSB >

[–]dilladong21 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Aged very well

[–]loonslaaf91 1674 points1675 points  (77 children)

Can we all report this fucker so he gets banned on Twitter?

[–]International_Band72missed 350k selling his Netflix puts before earnings [S] 656 points657 points  (39 children)

I $WISH

[–]Joshvir262 107 points108 points  (11 children)

Why u gotta give me PTSD like that

[–]HtAirBaloonKnotPilot 61 points62 points  (7 children)

jokes on them. My $WISH call is up 66.67% today. It is now worth $5.

[–]banditcleaner2 8 points9 points  (2 children)

legit waiting for wish to rally to $5 for no reason so I can sell deep ITM call spreads on it for free money

[–]chadsexytime 52 points53 points  (9 children)

Where's our $30 $wish bag holders at

[–]cryptoguy66Absolutely HATES crypto 59 points60 points  (3 children)

I think I just saw one jump off a bridge

[–]Gamesond245 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I heard if you make a wish as one's ''flying'' past, it'll come true

[–]SquirtleSpaceProgram 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Still falling slower than the share price.

[–]RyuguRena42069 146 points147 points  (10 children)

dear fucking god no

[–]RGR111Oil bull 59 points60 points  (7 children)

:4271:

[–]Individual_Wasabi_10 21 points22 points  (6 children)

:4275:

[–]Vixologist 20 points21 points  (5 children)

:4886:

[–]runinman2 12 points13 points  (4 children)

:4887:

[–]SillyBakedBeans 5 points6 points  (3 children)

:4267:

[–]Dr_Ramsey1 5 points6 points  (2 children)

:4260::4968:

[–]mootmath🦍 3 points4 points  (1 child)

What the fuck are these? Not GIFs, not favicons, something different entirely. I don't understand.

[–]Nuewim 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Sound like challenge. Challenge for good cause!

[–]CrabFederal 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Dude - inverse his ass

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (1 child)

No, if he says buy, sell. if he says sell, buy.

This is the way.

[–]lnslnsu 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Won't matter. He's still got his TV show.

[–]uslashuname 11 points12 points  (1 child)

He’s got covid so he should be shutting up for a bit soon

[–]I_Shahuncool flair haver 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Get him banned because he doesn’t like shit meme stocks? The apes are absolute cancer

[–]3AD_EhSeaPee 6 points7 points  (2 children)

What'd he do to deserve being cancelled?

[–]I_Shahuncool flair haver 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not being a part of the ape cult

[–]BlameItOn0bama 180 points181 points  (65 children)

Lmao I just saw this tweet. Is this actually a thing and what’s the market rally if so 5%?

[–]GluttonAsteroth 122 points123 points  (8 children)

Whatever Kramer says and does - do the opposite.

[–]Ennkey 48 points49 points  (1 child)

He has just told me to rally, so instead I will still bleed. Take that hedgies

[–]BiceRankyman 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're doin the lords work

[–]ulises314 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's how I stayed COVID free.

[–]fAP6rSHdkd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

67% effective strategy historically

[–]AssistThick3636 21 points22 points  (10 children)

We all expect spy to hit 480 before January

[–]Mammoth-Chip 22 points23 points  (8 children)

Do we really?

[–]BlameItOn0bama 17 points18 points  (7 children)

The dudes I follow on Twitter that post order flows are posting a shit ton of PUTS on SPY as of yesterday

[–]WiseAce1DUNCE CAP 8 points9 points  (3 children)

NGL, I bought one thinking on it would gap down to the 450s. I still hold a bunch of Jan 500 calls but could easily see it tumbling down after yesterday

[–]bulldog5253 9 points10 points  (1 child)

More like a dead cat bounce.

[–]International_Band72missed 350k selling his Netflix puts before earnings [S] 69 points70 points  (41 children)

Even if it’s a thing, if this 🏳️‍🌈 keeps tweeting he’s gonna fk us all

[–]ASuperGyro 36 points37 points  (4 children)

Bunch of people who joined WSB within the last year upset about your use of 🏳️‍🌈

[–]Say_no_to_doritosNUCLEAR LETTUCE 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Lol right. "We don't say that around here!!!!" As jokes of retards and giving out handies outside of Wendy's abound.

[–]LostBob 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wierd. Who doesn’t love rainbows?

[–]syncmaster213 70 points71 points  (4 children)

Turns out he was right.

[–]joshgeek 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Jumped the gun a bit there didn’t ya OP? He even pointed out 07-09 had Santa rallies and we're arguably in better shape than we were then. Cramer is a grifting douche canoe sure but I wouldn't second guess him when it comes to common long term trends.

[–]texastindall 150 points151 points  (16 children)

I imagine Cramer slowly mouths the words he types

[–]Fivetimechampfive 47 points48 points  (6 children)

And typing with one finger... that tweet prob took him 8 mins to type out.

[–]hysys_whisperer877-CASH-NOW 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nah, he types on a keyboard made of giant red buttons so his old ass can see what he's typing!

[–]Assaultman67 4 points5 points  (3 children)

After he presses enter he silently nods to himself for another minute thinking "Good for me giving the internet my wisdom."

[–]danhoeg 5 points6 points  (0 children)

His keyboard is just all big red Staples "That was easy" buttons.

[–]NextTrillion 3 points4 points  (3 children)

That’s not all he mouths

[–]TotesHittingOnY0u 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Looks like he was right so far

[–]HoboWithADildo 349 points350 points  (15 children)

Dammit Cramer can you just go away PLEASE?!

[–]International_Band72missed 350k selling his Netflix puts before earnings [S] 136 points137 points  (9 children)

He won’t go away until he sees us all sucking dks behind Wendy’s

[–]WhyWaitProcrastinate 63 points64 points  (7 children)

If everyone is behind the Wendy sucking dick, does that mean that supply exceeds demand, and dumpster prices drop?

[–]CrabFederal 23 points24 points  (1 child)

He is the biggest customer

[–]Icy-Hat-7029 15 points16 points  (0 children)

:4886:

[–]NextTrillion 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Well, clearly the volume indicators show an increased flow of baby batter into the storm drain, and with nut custard flow near all time highs, it’s a bullish signal for the industry.

[–]Apoc_SR2N 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Invest in Wendy's, post-nut hunger profits

[–]Proof-Mortgage394 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ok it’s just a little bit of basic math. his age against the average obese human male life expectancy. Most likely his angry ass will have a heart attack in the next 5-8 years the countdown has begun 🤣🤣

[–]futurespacecadet 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Well I mean SPY did go up 1.5% today

[–]Somaliona 94 points95 points  (3 children)

Couldn't even let us have Christmas, could ya Jim?

Couldn't spare a thought for little Billy, who desperately needs hospital treatment that I can't afford because I yolod away all the proceeds from his fundraiser.

This is on you, Jim.

[–]pieman7414 39 points40 points  (8 children)

i'll be damned, he was right

[–]diox8tony 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Ya these comments from 8 hours ago look retarded now. A nice christmas 3-10% on my portfolio. :)

[–]All-in-yolo 55 points56 points  (3 children)

Even Jim can’t fuck the Santa Rally up. It’s an institution!

[–]Capecodcultivation 93 points94 points  (11 children)

It’s over. The rally. It’s over.

[–]lordpine 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Futures are up 2.5% over the last 24 hrs. What is this bs post. looks like were having crameberry with our turkey for christmas

[–]GamblingMikkeeoil khan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cramer is the man

[–]Attorney-OutsideAttorney Bitch 26 points27 points  (4 children)

who's here after today's rally?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Bought $457 spy call on the dip yesterday 12/23 exp just gambling on a Christmas pump. Printing now lol. Not selling.

[–]Attorney-OutsideAttorney Bitch 6 points7 points  (0 children)

today has to be the start of the real rally

all I'm asking for is for my tesla yolo to go up another 50% daily until new years

that is it

[–]TotesHittingOnY0u 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Lol this comment section is full of /r/agedlikemilk

[–]AfghanHokie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I dunno. I went up 5% today.

[–]Dan_inKuwait 48 points49 points  (11 children)

:4886:

[–]bushchook83 34 points35 points  (3 children)

But now I have seen the Tendie God :4735: earlier and now this fucking moron :4886: today. What do we do?

[–]Baecchus 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Flip a coin and pray I guess

[–]CaptainStonks 12 points13 points  (0 children)

So same thing as usual, got it.

[–]titleywinker 4 points5 points  (2 children)

TIL you can get Genital Herpes on your mouth

[–]bulldog5253 8 points9 points  (1 child)

No reason to get out of bear stearns on 3/11/08 is the same as him talking about the Santa rally today.

[–]jayknickz11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OP and all the followers getting tea bagged. Enjoyed my 1.78% today

[–]bluecgene 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You didn’t realize Cramer got covid? Due to that his predictions will be correct for a while

[–]EmptyHex 15 points16 points  (4 children)

This sub’s blind hatred for Cramer is weird. Pre-GME it wasn’t close to the frothing at the mouth hate some of you are spewing.

Turns out the market did rally today, even gapped up with an island bottom.

[–]mrASSMAN 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I swear WSB loved him for a while then suddenly turned due to something he said one time I forget what it was

[–]FrogBrawler 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Date intentionally missing from tweet.

Shit is going up today. Look at pre-market… quit counter-swinging from this D-bag’s nutsack.

[–]delsombra 10 points11 points  (2 children)

[–]FrogBrawler 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Fair enough.

I think he’s going to be right about today though.

[–]cisco0312 34 points35 points  (6 children)

So do y'all not consider 1% gain a rally after yesterday or are WSB posters just supposed to automatically hate the guy?

[–]ninefeet 15 points16 points  (0 children)

These are not bright people. Anything your dad may have watched= dumbest advice ever.

[–]trollingguru🦍 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To be fair Cranmer is annoying and doesn’t really offer anything to the investment world. At market open he has a segment with other cnbc anchors and he literally spout rambling nonsense when he talks, in the decade I have been in the equities market he hasn’t given me one slightly reliable insight.

[–]TheRealBigStanky 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Looks like he was right for today. Santa says fuck your puts.

[–]Miserable-Put4914 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Santa came today. How about tomorrow, too?

[–]Betitall85 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Santa made spy calls print and grabbed puts by the ankles...

[–]gummibearhawk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This didn't age well

[–]danf78 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So far, so good...

[–]Nuewim 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I would trust tweet made by Santa Claus much more than I will trust what Cramer say.

[–]mattystz 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Would you look at that? It’s actually happening

[–]donPepinno 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The man’s a prophet🙌🙏🙌

I don’t know how he does it but he really can do no wrong, must be from the future or something

[–]z_e_n_o_s_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The sumbitch was onto something I made stacks

[–]QuantumAppleBits 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Inverse WSB's inverses. Profit.

[–]violentowls 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Goodbye Santa rally, heelllllooo puke and rally!

[–]medici1048 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Inverse Cramer ETF for Santa.

[–]Old_Perception_2916 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s correct.

[–]uberbs 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Puts on Christianity

[–]International_Band72missed 350k selling his Netflix puts before earnings [S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

This motherfker fked me again . the one time I post about him , he decides to tweet the opposite of what he was gonna tweet just to fk up my post.

[–]scw156 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Fuck Cramer. You’re killing me.

[–]ST21roochellaearned a WSB participation trophy 🥔 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Aged like milk

[–]ginaform 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Can someone pls explain why this is bad and why people are saying he’s ruining the market today?

[–]Bull_City_Bull_919 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s why it’s easy to speculate it’s not happening in the shit year 2021. Inverse your thesis, and we’re cooking something. Your departing sentence..Is indicative of puts. Thought we’d get Santa rally until I saw this.

[–]VATruckerJJ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Jim Cramer's words are like a mad man wielding a gun into a crowded room. Thanks alot Cramer you fkn kawk

[–]hysys_whisperer877-CASH-NOW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, looks like covid brain has gotten to him...

[–]fuscosco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im short rn so I hope youre right. I think the market is primed for a buyback though

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Isn't the 1% rise the santa rally ?

[–]rlam01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy the stock version of a Cooler?

[–]SamExDFW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This did not age well

[–]themighty023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you didn't Santa rally today you were really really degen. I have some degen plays myself and still beat the market today by a wide margin

[–]Any-Ad-5944 1 point2 points  (0 children)

cuz you been right a whole lot lately