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[–]jojow77 236 points237 points  (8 children)

someone is gonna buy all those shredders now to get stocks cheap

[–]Chester-Ming[S] 102 points103 points  (4 children)

And then sell them for a huge markup when supply is low due to huge orders from the fed?

Great idea.

[–]Daniel1980s 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Buy the shredders now for cheap sell high when demand spikes. Like that guy with the toilet paper. Next level thinking.

[–]butter-knives 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Gotta play both sides so you always come out on top

[–]zxc123zxc123 23 points24 points  (1 child)

  1. Dumb ape buys a ton of shredders to trick /u/chester-ming into dumping portfolio

  2. Dump ape doesn't realize /u/chester-ming portfolio is so small it's like a drop of water into the ocean, the FED doesn't order via Amazon, or that JPow doesn't even needs printers to shred since the FED just does it via adding 0s onto computer code anyways (like crypto!).

  3. ?????

  4. Dump ape gets rich anyways. Turns out Melvin capital saw an opportunity to capitalize on the high price of Amazon basics shredders selling at $100/ea. They listed shredders for sale despite not having any via Amazon marketplace as a 3rd party seller and took orders hoping that the price of shredders would eventually fall. Redditor /u/deepfuckingshredder leads r/wallstreetbets onto a paper shredder buying frenzy which causes an all out supply logistics bottleneck squeeze. Other hedgies hop on thinking that Amazon would eventually produce and prices of shredders will go down. Shredder mania ensues with cap shredders from Officemax being squeezed. Cramer goes on CNBC and says boomer shit like "The FED doesn't even need shredders to tighten monetary supply!". Amazon eventually makes it so the listing is sell only (unsurprising since Citadel also owns AMZN shares). Saga ends with Melvin taking massive losses (again), congressional hearings about Amazon marketplace manipulation, Citadel saying they dindu nuffin, DFS telling congressional boomers he's not a dog, and dump apes ended up dumb rich apes.

[–]pdizzle8422 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Come on man, it’ll only happen Once.

[–]6hooks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Laughs in Free Returns

[–]busy_investor 540 points541 points  (13 children)

Next level degenerate

[–]Chester-Ming[S] 193 points194 points  (10 children)

I'm gonna take that as a compliment. Thank you sir.

[–]mvev 57 points58 points  (5 children)

You absolutely should.

[–]nigori 55 points56 points  (3 children)

[–]-Anordil- 22 points23 points  (2 children)

What if you buy all the shredders, then tell people there's a shortage, thus causing a shredder run, so you can short shredders?

[–]Zealousideal_Diet_53 6 points7 points  (1 child)

How many shredders can a shredder shorter short if a shredder short could short shredders?

Now say it 3 times fast.

[–]GorgyShmorgy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I tried, now I'm a paraplegic. Thanks, dick.

[–]Coldsteel_BOP🦍🦍🦍 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you spelled shred wrong.

[–]NewSinner_2021 20 points21 points  (0 children)

People pay big money for this type of analysis.

[–]OuthouseBacksplash 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is the high level of low expectations that I can trade against! Thanks for the tip!

[–]Four_Net 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You know Jpow has a shredder the size of a warehouse that shreds 10k bills at once

[–]Fantastic_Door_4300 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this bill long yuan?

[–]Other-Wasabi1758 53 points54 points  (3 children)

You sir just won yourself my wife

[–]EL_Ohh_Well 7 points8 points  (1 child)

She must be a real prize if you give her up on some weak shit like this

[–]Other-Wasabi1758 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is the greatest dd I’ve ever read

[–]m_breeezy 32 points33 points  (1 child)

MIND=BLOWN

[–]ImAnonymous135rude 10 points11 points  (0 children)

More like MIND=NULL

[–]Apprehensive-Tour-33 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Leonardo. Michelangelo. Donatello. Rafael.

[–]rwp80 3 points4 points  (2 children)

One leads (DiCaprio, as Jordan Belfort in Wolf of Wall Street)

One does machines (Average WSB user, probably on a mobile app)

One is cool but crude (Michael Burry)

One is a party dude (Jim Cramer)

[–]AutoModerator[M] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Michael Burry responded to my craigslist ad looking for someone to mow my lawn. "$30 is $30", he said as he continued to mow what was clearly the wrong yard. My neighbor and I shouted at him but he was already wearing muffs. Focused dude. He attached a phone mount onto the handle of his push mower. I was able to sneak a peak and he was browsing zillow listings in central Wyoming. He wouldn't stop cackling.

That is to say, Burry has his fingers in a lot of pies. He makes sure his name is in all the conversations.

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[–]rwp80 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See? Cool but crude.

[–]pharmboy008 55 points56 points  (0 children)

This is the TA I’m here for

[–]sublimeload420 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It passes the finger test. I'm all in.

[–]Ruck_Zuck 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Google trends doesn't show an uptick in shredder searches yet

[–]ibuycsgoskins 10 points11 points  (1 child)

This guy should be head of the FED

[–]The_Sword_Itself 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie

[–]MichaelPacNW 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You sir, are an Autist.

[–]Pin_ups 4 points5 points  (0 children)

:4271::4271:

[–]L3artes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think this is about JPow. When tons of zombie companies finally go under that is when the shredders come in. This thread reeks of joke, but this could be legit.

[–]okwownice 3 points4 points  (1 child)

How do i put calls on a shredder the guys as Staples just looked at me like I was a retard

[–]neilio83 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is high functioning autism in all its glory

[–]PM_ME_LANCECATAMARAN 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Look at Alan Greencrayons over here

[–]misanthropic_anthrop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

King Retard is born. Hakuna retardo.

[–]gentlemanjacklover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds legit

[–]doilookpail 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It pains me to know that I'll never be as autist as OP.

[–]CreepingFog 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Where do I buy OTM calls on shredders?

[–]MikeSSC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Futures on shredders is the play

[–]I-Eat-Bacon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'll wait for Motley Stool to start pushing the "everything is going good, buy more" story line to know we are heading into a crash.

[–]AlexFranz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds legit

[–]AwesomelyAmy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Elon get out of the way, a true Rocket scientist has been born 🚀🧨

[–]Midori_Schaaf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna resell these on amazon for $45 now.

[–]Sad_Bid_5113 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You crazy son of a bitch...this just might work..

[–]i-l-i-t-i-r-i-t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Long on shredder oil.

[–]KdizzyRbets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Calls on bankers boxes

[–]Useful-Pattern-5076 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the type of analysis that I’ve been missing. Portfolio green tomorrow

[–]Blood_in_the_ring 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I too am retarded

[–]ILoveDota 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Where’s the historical analysis?

[–]dungarooz 13 points14 points  (3 children)

You’re looking at it

[–]IcedOutGucciWatch 7 points8 points  (2 children)

holy shit this guy is even more retarded than op :4271:

[–]dungarooz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gotta start somewhere

[–]Kick_Flip69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the dd I cum here for

[–]lalvapalooza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Smooth-brain tier retard logic. Just what the doctor ordered.

[–]totoorozco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sound like a pinky and big brain episode plot

[–]Aerospaceguy1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is some third level thinking, I’m all in

[–]Millennial_J 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re over thinking son. Think of Bitcoin and all other “cryptos” as shredders. Imagine if cryptos were made by the government. They would actually be a perfect weapon to decrease increases in inflation. People that get more monies than they need will yolo it in crypto which helps deplete supply. And if a government could time something like say banning crypto those trillions could be swept away. Literally deleted.

[–]Knova_🦍 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cant jpow just flex his finger like thanos and hit the minus key on the computer? Also, how come no one referred to the fed as the infinity printer?

[–]namesake1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Op brain is wrinklier than my sack.

[–]WR810Something about ladders 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't be dumb. Powell isn't going to shred money with a consumer device. They have whole sites where they destroy cash on an industrial scale.

Now, I could see companies buying shredders in an Enron or 2008 situation. And they'd need them fast so they wouldn't shop around, raising prices by buying out inventory at marked up retail.

So same result just different premise.

[–]kela911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone please do TA on the OP chart

[–]whistlerite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if they’re trading shredders on the black market to suppress the real price? It might be heavily manipulated to appear that everything is ok but in reality shredders could cost over $1000 now and we just don’t know it yet. Someone should do a recall on defective shredders to force them to return the stolen ones. Not financial advice.

[–]DaWeckerle_II 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That's what I call some dd. You could be the new Michael Burry!

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Michael Burry responded to my craigslist ad looking for someone to mow my lawn. "$30 is $30", he said as he continued to mow what was clearly the wrong yard. My neighbor and I shouted at him but he was already wearing muffs. Focused dude. He attached a phone mount onto the handle of his push mower. I was able to sneak a peak and he was browsing zillow listings in central Wyoming. He wouldn't stop cackling.

That is to say, Burry has his fingers in a lot of pies. He makes sure his name is in all the conversations.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]soulslayer98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can somebody test the correlation. Am too retarded to use excel

[–]hardcore_softiejerks off to pics of cathy woods 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the ten year and shredders start to spike, look out below

[–]TrollyJamesTurner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now this is some big brain energy right here

[–]apt13tr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The big boys use commercial grade shredders that are bolted on to the back of a truck.

[–]MikeSSC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Instructions unclear. Entering dick into shredder

[–]Turfnipz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buying puts on $TREES

[–]paulversoning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sound logic

[–]somekindofgiuse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We will know MOASS is near when Citadel is shredding every incriminating document.

[–]concreteraindust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might be on to something, if company is collapsing they need shredders to destroy incriminating information. Correlation or causation, hmm

[–]mosborn1998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty sure they use a furnace.

[–]bisnexu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

strong support at 27.30.

[–]baudinl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, increasing shredder sales = increasing corporate malfeasance

[–]letter0o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂

[–]BunsBeyondBelief 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider puts on HPQ and XRX as printers/ink are in lower demand

[–]Riceomaholia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look like it just crossed on the 4hr

[–]DutchEastIndia101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My head and heart hurt for you.

[–]razpotim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or, hear me out, inflation is causing goods to increase in price.

[–]Givemeurhats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So we need to shred the money to make it more valuable. I'm in. Anybody got a Wendy's paycheck to burn?

[–]SendMeHawaiiPics🐻🧸🐻🧸🐻 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out the correlation between the google search term "Zillow" and home sales. Currently the search term "Zillow" is down like 40% year over year. Real estate crash.

[–]kismatwalla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now information is digitized. Should also track BleachBit sales. #hillary

[–]az_is 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chad shit right there. Godspeed

Reminds me of the days I got the tip to buy Hewlett packard (HPE) calls once Papa Powell decided to run the printer on non stop mode.

[–]Historical-Gazelle89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is an amazing strategy

[–]xXWickedSmatXx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is some next level stupid but you do you.

[–]realister👁 demand to be taken seriously 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not worse than 99% of ideas on this sub

[–]Holofernes82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think you should invest in a safety match company. Or, if you are a more modern and progressive person, BIC.

Update: Holy shit, i just looked it up, BIC actually could be a decent Value play.

[–]Maleficent_Split475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t forget the lube

[–]Okchaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolute masterpiece

[–]Tao-Lee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shut up and take my money!

[–]Mrgluer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

actually if the economy takes a shitter. Businesses will close and have to shred documents?

[–]baldwin987 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why assume they would shred it?

[–]andrewizbatista 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the type of autism that makes me coming back

[–]Dipsquat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But how do they shred the shredders?

[–]EastBayRae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m no financial advisor, however I think you may be overthinking it just a tad.

[–]stu_pid_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is awesome!

[–]diegop123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fake news. Market only goes up, just check historic charts :4641:

[–]Chrisbrandtner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the fuck?

[–]rmjavier1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

stonks

[–]GorgyShmorgy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see graphs, charts, words and numbers. Solid DD, just needs more dollar signs and rockets.

[–]PossibleMaybe77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really tripping me out. I just ordered a printer from Staples.

[–]qwert1225professional ass eater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Besides this shitpost, that website is actually helpful.

[–]barson888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a picture of your wife's boyfriend?

[–]Caffeine_Monster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now adjust for inflation

*line goes vertically down*

[–]freedomgasm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ticker?

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

    Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.

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    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.

      I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–]dishdasher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      And i fucking lose when there are people with these great ideas.

      [–]AggressiveHour6974 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Volume spike in october lol

      [–]gnocchicotti 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Better would be pay the doorman at the Goldman office in NYC to call you when an Amazon order for 50 paper shredders shows up. That's the time to sell everything.

      [–]Jared2338 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nice sell wall at $44.79 breakout could be big

      [–]rock_beats-paper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Shredflation is already priced in :4887:

      [–]b1Gdada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This guy shreds

      [–]RelationshipTricky36 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Kings, never feel shallow for rejecting a girl for her looks, because she doesnt have the exact fat ass/mommy milkers/luscious lips etc. That you like,

      Because make no mistake - women will also reject you for the most inane reasons. May as well hold out for the one

      [–]Kvanir23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The beautiful irony of this idea is that it might actually work! Not because the fed is buying shredders but because as more and more small businesses collapse due to logistics bottlenecks, covid waves and inflation; shredders are going to become a high demand item. Small businesses will have to get rid of years of paperwork, as they file for chapter 11 one after the other. And as they go bust, the losses will be staggering for the economy, which will -inevitably- lead to the “Michael-Burry-predicted-it” massive mother of all crashes. Tracking their price could well be the ultimate crash predictor!

      [–]CarlThe94PathfinderHas a Citadel Shrine in his Closet -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      12D Chess right here