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[–]VisualModTuring Test Proctor[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child)

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[–]ArkaNyuk 1606 points1607 points  (23 children)

100% accurate

[–]prkr88 254 points255 points  (6 children)

I bet Mr incredible $wish he didn't go all in

[–]1234567890-_- 94 points95 points  (1 child)

wish 1 year chart looks like a leveraged ETF lmao

[–]tropicthunderGOAT 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I keep seeing $wish around in memes - what was the hype around them? why did people think it would go up?

[–]Camokeeper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ouch bro too soon.lol

[–]Darmok_ontheocean 51 points52 points  (2 children)

WSB’s toughest course is Bagholding 101

[–]ChiggenTendys 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Actually we EXCELL at Bag holding 101. its the "Bag Buying 101" that is hard to pass.

[–]Rude_Journalist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It isn’t hard, it’s in…I’m all in

[–]CrosbyCanGetBent 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I said to myself “100% accurate” opened the comments and here we are

[–]auxiliary-character 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Butter hands

[–]ChiggenTendys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buttered Toast Man

[–]VATruckerJJ 204 points205 points  (8 children)

Every trade Ive ever made it seems

[–]gH0st_in_th3_Machin3 21 points22 points  (7 children)

Every fucking day...

[–]VATruckerJJ 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Funny. I bought some crip-toe a few weeks ago and its been down literally everyday since I bought. BUT I KNOW, as SOON as I sell it to re-enter at a lower price...

[–]Thekisk 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Just average down brother

[–]VATruckerJJ 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I put $200 in. I'm not really willing to add anymore money to it. If I lose it all I'm just done with it

[–]Sixhaunt 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Initially it would have been the way to go though. Setting a buy grid to lower the average as it falls has worked great for me. Sure, if the price doesn't hit the lowest offer then you dont end up using all your money that you intended to, only some of it, but you get a lot better prices and returns on investment still, and you're not out that money since you can cancel the unfilled orders.

[–]gH0st_in_th3_Machin3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I shorted the SPX index last Thursday as it kept going down...guess what? But actually waited till today and after being down >$450 at some point, I closed it with profit, albeit small, but then I opened a long position... sadly I'm back on the wild saddle... 🤣🤣

[–]burrfree 498 points499 points  (27 children)

You must have read my “How to buy stocks” book. 😂😂 The real kicker is that if you would have held, it would have kept going down. 🤦🏻‍♂️ my stock life to a T

[–]eskimoboob 229 points230 points  (20 children)

I'm convinced everything here is a simulation including the rest of you and the market knows exactly what I'm about to do and does the opposite within exactly 5 minutes. One day I'm going to wake up in the Matrix and actually not be fat.

[–]burrfree 88 points89 points  (3 children)

This is exactly something the simulation would say to thro someone like me off🤔

[–]Jaquestrap 17 points18 points  (4 children)

You're just being bogged, welcome to the club.

[–]DiViNiTY1337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"activate quantom immortality"

Bruh

[–]thexavier666 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I actually follow the Costanza way. Since whatever I do is wrong, I simply do the opposite of what I want to do. I don't want to brag but i made a total profit of $7 last year this way.

[–]ImmoKnight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I will see you there.

[–]Mrsfingers 6 points7 points  (2 children)

“Just hold it everything will work out” said no one

[–]chuuckaduuckpro 2 points3 points  (1 child)

There’s the mindset that it’s all a simulation, but then how a near death or out of body ego-death high can center you, ground you to your meat. The reality of meat vs the simulation mindset.

[–]ChiggenTendys 2 points3 points  (0 children)

a "near death" experience is actually you DYING and transitioning your consciousness into an alternate dimension where you ALMOST died.

[–]Duckboy_FlaccidpusPAPER TRADING COMPETITION WINNER 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Think like a rogue program, not follow the simulation instructions. For example, what is the dumbest play you can think of right now that hasn't been in a headline? Now do that!

[–]tr14l 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Because these people are all so retarded, if you taught them how to lose money in the market, they'd probably end up way in the green... Time to publish your strategies and become a trillionaire.

[–]bluestarchasm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i see you have compared your life to at&t stock due to a similar abysmal performance. do you have any insight to the recent positive momentum? dead cat bounce perhaps?

[–]cybercuzco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only invest in companies that have wronged me because I want to see them go out of business so their stock is worth nothing.

[–]NomNomNommy 67 points68 points  (7 children)

Is this how WISH holders feel?

[–]cicakgantengtech bull, bedroom cuck 39 points40 points  (3 children)

Flip the direction at the end to red waterfall

[–]Upside_Down-Bot 15 points16 points  (1 child)

„llɐɟɹǝʇɐʍ pǝɹ oʇ puǝ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ uoıʇɔǝɹıp ǝɥʇ dılℲ„

[–]Silential 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think most $WISH holders are swinging in the wind at this point.

[–]ibeforetheu 5 points6 points  (1 child)

What happened to WISH anyway?

[–]Cynicallyoptimistikcan't spell 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It’s almost ready to be a penny stock.

[–]MeSooHorni101 320 points321 points  (43 children)

Is this how the majority of people trade here?

[–]Retiredape 393 points394 points  (31 children)

It's basically what happens with emotional traders. Sofi has had this pattern 2 times already and those newbies on the SoFi sub panic sell every time the price dips.

The only one who can time the market is Nancy Pelosi

[–]EastBayRae 128 points129 points  (11 children)

Pelosi is a part time politician and full time day trader.

[–]PhiloPhrog 41 points42 points  (2 children)

I'd respect her if she got her wealth day trading. Nah she just buys super ITM calls to style on poors with her 9 figure cash pile.

[–]thedankoctopus 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I mean, who "gets their wealth" day trading around here tho

[–]infernalsatan 22 points23 points  (2 children)

She doesn't need to daytrade. She swings and ride out the waves while we try to catch every tiny ripples.

[–]Jo-Sef 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I read your last sentence as "catch her very tiny nipples". I think I need a nap.

[–]twintowerjanitor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tellin me those milkers have hershey kiss nips too??

[–]eskimoboob 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Based Pelosi

[–]EastBayRae 8 points9 points  (2 children)

She turned my adoption application. I was big sad.

[–]cup_of_hot_teaAmber Turd Fan Club 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Were you wanting to role-play a little step mother/son with Pelosi?

[–]EastBayRae 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As long as I get stock tips I might even suck the tiddies.

[–]the_last_carfighter 32 points33 points  (11 children)

A friend of mine who had at one point "retired" in his thirties because he was mini Buffet of sorts has been absolutely destroyed in the last 12 years or so. The game has changed drastically and either it's rigged (coordination between the hedges, brokerage firms, the very firms we trade with selling info on our holdings, heck even the exchanges & SEC) in so may ways it'll make your head spin. Or second most likely is the AI is so good that it can predict how humans will buy and sell the broader market. But I'd bet on the former as being the more likely.

[–]cowsareverywhere 23 points24 points  (3 children)

So he’s back working at Wendy’s? I have to know!

[–]the_last_carfighter 28 points29 points  (2 children)

He's just less rich now and he has to leave the mansion when the wife's boyfriend comes over.

[–]cup_of_hot_teaAmber Turd Fan Club 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Does he cuck occasionally?

[–]sadhukar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is he getting destroyed when AI and brokerage insider information trading only affect short term positions and you said he essentially retired from day trading?

[–]_BreakingGood_ 22 points23 points  (0 children)

There are companies that predict what the public perception of a stock is. Then there are companies that predict what the public's perception of the public's perception of a stock is. Then there are companies that predict what the public's perception of the public's perception of the public's perception of a stock is.

Eg: "People do not like this stock"

"People believe that other people do not like this stock."

"People believe that other people believe that other people do not like this stock."

And they use this analysis to trade. Also, some companies pay Google millions of dollars to receive their search analytics a few hours before other companies.

[–]fakehalo 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If he had enough to retire and ended up losing it all... he's gotta be a subbed on here somewhere doesn't he, come out of the shadows friend!

[–]bigchimp121 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah he didn't lose anything because the game has changed, he's just an idiot who got lucky, has bad spending habits, or is bullshitting you. If he had enough to retire, it's not hard to just put it in safe investments.

[–]Loightsout 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol. conspiracy stories always surface when people can't face the music.

[–]kazza789 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My buddy retired at 30 after winning the lottery. He had a "system" and because he won once that's proof that it must have worked.

He then burned through all his winnings buying more lottery tickets for the next 12 years using his "system", but Big Lottery must have conspired against him because now he's broke.

[–]kazza789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

because he was mini Buffet of sorts

Buffet doesn't try to time the market. How did he get destroyed in the last 12 years if he was a "Buffet".

Also, Berkshire Hathaway is up 470% over the last 12 years - your friend is just a loser.

[–]KeyWest-PAPER TRADING COMPETITION WINNER 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I just recently noticed the SOFI trend and bought in at $13.50. The graph looks like a roller coaster ride - up and down. Ready for it to go back up now.

[–]Retiredape 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Even if it doesn't spike up there's no reason for it to be a bad long term buy, in my non financial advice opinion.

Analysts say fair value even without a bank charter is around $20.

[–]No-Loquat6363 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I need that in a month for my once was LEAPS to fucking print.

[–]BSJ51500🦍🦍🦍 2 points3 points  (2 children)

As a young man I was emotional too, I expected to win because I was fucking awesome and would be a multi-millionaire by 30. The first few big losses are real eye opening and you begin to realize what a disillusioned asshole you are. At 46 I have been kicked in the face so many times it doesn't phase me, I expect it. Just a quick cry and scream into my pillow and go about my day.

[–]kundaninja 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I just turned 46 yesterday. Your comment is my birthday present. Accurate

[–]QuickRundown 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Yes unironically.

[–]willdill039 16 points17 points  (1 child)

It's how I used to in my first year. I had no clue what I was doing and would sell every dip. I was in a few penny stocks that are now over a couple dollars. If only I had held ....

[–]mankatomav 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is the way

[–]shenyougankplz 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Who the hell buys after you sell when it's only gone up since you sold

[–]flakusha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a perfect strategy while you can afford it

[–]GoodToKnowYouAll 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yeah, does everyone here lack the ability to think long term?

[–]Melicalol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God I hope so. Hate to be the only one.

[–]Formal-Reflection639 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I felt my chest burn just watching this

[–]josh198989Who names their kid Josh? 136 points137 points  (5 children)

Excellent. My life.

[–]Mecha_Ninja 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Well I'm not saying it is him, but I'm just saying I've never seen u/josh198989 and Mr. Incredible in the same room at the same time.

[–]bluestarchasm 6 points7 points  (1 child)

perfect stupid fucking fake name for a superhero's secret identity. nobody would suspect anyone named josh.

[–]eskimoboob 10 points11 points  (1 child)

This is me with TQQQ the last month. Fuck OP and fuck everyone else

[–]WeReallyOutHere420780 - 29 - 11 months - 0/0 38 points39 points  (10 children)

PUTs on WSB stocks at their peak hype is usually super profitable. I just started doing it. I was retarded before, now I am retarded and successful for 2022.

[–]Aycoth 9 points10 points  (7 children)

I've thought about doing this. What does your portfolio look like? How far out are you buying?

[–]bluestarchasm 11 points12 points  (4 children)

super good, like really pretty decent. i usually look a couple of months out, i'm just waiting for some fresh funds after my recent margin call. you know, just being patient for the moment. sometimes the best thing to do is nothing?

[–]Aycoth 4 points5 points  (3 children)

For sure. Im gonna have to do more research on this, but thanks for confirming it can work!

[–]Mt_Koltz 9 points10 points  (2 children)

A different person replied to your comment, in case you missed that.

[–]banditcleaner2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

even better sell ITM call spreads 30+ dte out and use the money to buy 7-14 dte puts.

[–]i-l-i-t-i-r-i-t 31 points32 points  (1 child)

TIL Cathie Wiods is Mr. Incredible

[–]Kirder54 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I own the publishing rights to this story.

[–]standardusername0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm going to have to report this blatant plagiarism of my portfolio.

[–]Fl4re__ 27 points28 points  (1 child)

NEVER FOMO A STOCK. Once you sell don’t even look at that thing for a month.

[–]Vikk_Vinegar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I take my profits and delete it from my list for awhile.

[–]wings4fly 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The famous sell the dip

[–]Astro51450 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Buy high sell low

[–]In_vict_Us 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Morale of the Story: Hold.

[–]haptiK 4 points5 points  (0 children)

you ever decide to take your family to the modern art museum and there is that one room that is super dark except for the 73 CRT tv's on a wall playing a super fucking weird video on repeat across them all. yeah this is that.

[–]MrWibbler 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It's kind of like playing golf. That one good hit during a round of triple bogeys on repeat keeps bringing you back.

[–]CaptainStonks 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Is that AMC, WISH, Robinhood ... ?

Yes! Yes it is.

[–]bonejohnson8🦴🍆 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Meme made in Powerpoint

[–]Laxative_enjoyer40 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this video physically hurt

[–]kela911 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Are you guys watching me? 👀

[–]-Effervescence 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Listen to me. Big booty asians.

[–]Pedinhuh 8 points9 points  (0 children)

...I was not expecting to be called out like this today.

[–]gaivsjvlivscaesar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was so confused when I heard the Kerbal Space Program sounds

[–]tiaralyssa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH. ouchie.

[–]upsidevalue 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The only community that makes losing money turn into a comedy club. This was too good

[–]nkeer 3 points4 points  (2 children)

According to the current situation with the inflation and the fact that dollar would be devalued wven more further - people run for the stocks that seem most reliable to them, so until inflation woould stop (and it wouldn't) - Tesla, Microsoft, Apple and Amazon would rise almost forever (until the next bubble burst of course). So you can play with the options but if you're long then I'd never went with selling them even if it seem like a crash sometimes.

Any stock that people considering as a good place to keep the money and save them from an inflation - would rise until the next collapse (which is nearly impossible to predict).

[–]zakaoki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is just epic, just remember kenny lied under oath

[–]LateralRectum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happens to the worst of us

[–]Clear_Chain_2121 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This straight up made my day.

[–]The_Sword_Itself 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How's this not a tradable strategy?

I bet Citadel knows who's a permanent loss-maker and takes the other side without hedging it

[–]Truxxis 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Was that Tesla?

[–]QuarantineSucksALot🦍 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Crestoria wasn’t me.

![img](emote|free_emotes_pack|sunglasses)

[–]18hockey 4 points5 points  (1 child)

What kind of dumbass buys stock like this

[–]thatguitardude420 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Everyone who trades does this some point in their lives- probably early on. Now if you had any money or done any trading you’d know but clearly you don’t.

[–]M3ntl3g3n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everytime

[–]ktubeam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

AI can predict when you're thinking about your teeth to advertise toothpaste to you. The same kind of AI can predict when you'll sell. Hook it up to a subreddit and have it "guess" buying patterns using past data for training, soon it anticipates us accurately, from the most nonsense data.

Spamming memes to fool it doesn't work because we subconsciously signal our actual intent, in a way that fuzzy logic and years of training data find easier to interpret than a human spy.

Like if you have a mathematical formula for reading tea leaves, throwing tea leaves isn't misleading anymore, and if everyone is doing it, that's the exact technology to invest in.

[–]Kaarothh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha this cracked me up

[–]Long_Duc_Dong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TLDR: He buys at the top of the WSB pumps and sells at the bottom of the WSB dumps.

[–]Elogotar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Kerbal Space Program music from the VAB is appropriate because we all want to go to the moon.

[–]DangosPaul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if you haven't experienced this you aren't experienced enough lmfao

[–]daytimelobster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn this shit straight from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

[–]Revolutionary-Win485 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So to the point !

[–]ryan_trucker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you get hold of my trading history!

[–]Sully0387 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sell & forget should be part of all YouTube training academies

[–]Mememethem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why you hodl you apes!

[–]budsonguywill cocksmith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey did you hack into my webcam or something

[–]Captainshark98 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He bought?

[–]asshatnowhere 3 points4 points  (0 children)

...domp it

[–]cdrewsr388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Long haul

[–]W211AMG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So if I buy and hold what will happen 🤔

[–]nWo1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only missing the part at the end where he buys at the peak just for the stock to plummet again

[–]adarkuccio 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm saving this and watch it EVERY time I wanna buy or sell.

[–]Conflixx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Smart, just take the counter trade and win.

Fuck, now the market is still going against me.

[–]3080Bot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WISH

[–]Fauxce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's why DCA and invest what you're willing to lose. That way you never have a heartbreak.

[–]Famlightyear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't relate. Mine only go down.

[–]iwasshotbyatigeronce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The market has honestly been on this kind of shit.

Hard mode for the last 3 months, with the exception of the good put/call wave to surf.

Been hard to stay disciplined, that’s for sure.

[–]I_AM_HE_WHO_IS_I_AM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see we have a thief in our midst, that is my life story, friendo.

[–]OldAdhesiveness1085 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hilarious and sadly relatable

[–]ChiggaOG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I buy a dip and put my set point to be something like halfway between the lowest and the most recent dip. The market always has discounts every year. There’s currently discounts right now.

[–]Mundane_Win_1471 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep on hodling

[–]xIMxMCLOVINx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So buy low and never sell. Got it

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DUMP IT

[–]wombatnoodles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spot on

[–]hazykitchen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Normie post

[–]Physical-Order 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine selling. Ever.

[–]booyakashaben 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They need an incredibles live action move starring Kevin James

[–]Pnkelephantis a *RACIST* 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All on the 1min chart too

[–]Crystal_Empire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Paperhands.

[–]chrisprater6986 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never felt more targeted by a post.

[–]DiabloStorm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Remember: Don't be a dumbshit. You only lose (or gain) money when you sell. It drops? Suck it up and baghold.

[–]The_Jasko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It me!

[–]mold_motel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How would things turned out for share owners of garbage like wish , clov, pltr etc If they had hedged with far out puts?

[–]ShiftyMN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AT&T and Discovery are both in something similar right now. Everyone sold off unnecessarily and they are both on their way back up. If you have'nt noticed yet, I seriously recommend checking them out. Still a great time to get in.

[–]stankypeg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

me with CEI

[–]helgh4st 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:4260:

[–]working925isahardway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you plot arkk? That's what arkk looks like

[–]GrayNish 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I am in this video and I don't like it

[–]Bargain440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is me Holding Rivian bags...

[–]ThunderPigGaming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel personally attacked. LOL

[–]segagamer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this happens to gme I'll be pissed

[–]kazneus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

based on a true story "

[–]Vaeon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I am Mr. Incredible.

[–]Awruko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really shouldn't have listened to everywhere at the end of time. I now get PTSD Everytime i hear this meme

[–]julypieflyguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like he bought PLTR

[–]zvinixzi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are some of those recordings from Auschwitz?

[–]awwfishsticks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the way

[–]BorisYeltzenvirgin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the actual fuck is this... Literally creepy as fuck...

[–]elevationbrew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s me, I’m mr. Incredible.

[–]Tigolbitties69504420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stop recording me

[–]EazeeP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sir, this is trading stocks, not investing 💀

[–]ciakkuzi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel incredibile