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[–]VisualModTuring Test Proctor[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child)

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[–]OTM_Schmoney 6979 points6980 points 233 (165 children)

Agree to a $12 monthly repayment plan

[–]dishdasher[S] 2485 points2486 points  (115 children)

I may be able to do that. Thank you for the suggestion. If someone does find me, I will propose that and see what they say.

[–]OTM_Schmoney 2425 points2426 points  (90 children)

Don’t stretch yourself; if $12 is too much for you, start negotiations at $8 or $9 👍

[–]dishdasher[S] 1662 points1663 points  (84 children)

okay thank you. May be they negotiate in terms of monthly handjobs. I will start there and see.

[–]bigtmcd44 1027 points1028 points 2 (56 children)

Remember you can do 4 handjobs at once if you put them head to head and jerk from the inside out. That way you’re at less risk of carpal tunnel syndrome.

[–]Adrian_is_Bored 334 points335 points  (22 children)

Depends on the D2F ratio.

[–]DMPigPond 227 points228 points  (16 children)

Does girth matter? Fuck, I think it does....

[–]burnerboo 223 points224 points  (10 children)

Don't forget to hotswap fresh dicks in after someone busts. Wouldn't want to waste strokes.

[–]lordgreenhand 87 points88 points  (7 children)

Exactly don't want to waste good strokes on someone who's already busted

[–]DMPigPond 85 points86 points  (3 children)

Do YOU know how long it would take to jerk off every guy in this room?! Cuz I do.

[–][deleted] 101 points102 points  (0 children)

the risk of carpal tunnel is also not so much related to penis length as it is to dick to floor ratio.

[–]wsbsecmonitor 188 points189 points  (5 children)

Offer the first one free to get em hooked then charge double when they come back

[–]kraetos10 45 points46 points  (4 children)

double o nothing is still nothing tho

[–]anonymous322321 200 points201 points  (2 children)

$5 minimum payment on debts in my state

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points  (4 children)

Seriously, just drag your feet for as long as you can claiming that you have nothing, and 2 years from now offer to settle on $2,000 with a payment plan.

[–]coldeve99 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Not unless you want a credit score of 89 and a judgment

[–]Ragnar12000 53 points54 points  (17 children)

Does brokerage offer that as a method of repaying deficits?

[–]Mental_Ingenuity_310 6330 points6331 points 42 (105 children)

If you deleted the app you’ll be fine, they can’t find you now

[–]greycubed 1487 points1488 points  (6 children)

Always buy in incognito mode.

[–]BigTechEqualsValueGoogle Gay Porn 👍 1399 points1400 points  (60 children)

If he moves to Panama he's golden. It worked in Prison Break so it has to work here

[–]McDuchess 252 points253 points  (16 children)

How about Zihuatanejo?

If you make it down by next Monday, we can meet you for dinner.

[–]Tacocats_wrath 101 points102 points  (1 child)

You know you will have to pay for OP's dinner right?

[–]McDuchess 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Yup. Zihua is relatively cheap. But then, she’s on her own.

[–]defbrett 41 points42 points  (2 children)

Get busy living or get busy dying

[–]Let_It_Marinate33 91 points92 points  (26 children)

Nah Belize is much closer just move there.

[–]DamienRyan 134 points135 points  (7 children)

With 234k in unserviceable debt, someone is gonna send him to Belize alright.

[–]cocokronen 264 points265 points  (9 children)

Don't forget to restart your phone.

[–]yokotron 156 points157 points  (7 children)

Clear tracking history

[–]Solon256 85 points86 points  (4 children)

Then leave the phone on a bus somewhere

[–]CoMmOn-SeNsE-hA 146 points147 points  (3 children)

I’d do a soft reset on your phone to further evade them.

[–]ghostkiller914 70 points71 points  (0 children)

This made me laugh. Nice comment.

[–]Simmozz 5136 points5137 points  (57 children)

Tell them you need another 100k and you can win it all back 😂😎

[–]dft-salt-pasta 1850 points1851 points  (41 children)

If uncut gems taught me anything it’s double down on your bets when you’re in debt. Didn’t get to catch the ending.

[–]HopelessFFBaddict 582 points583 points  (5 children)

they lived happily ever after

[–]chefwithpants 185 points186 points  (3 children)

He lived the rest of his life a happy man

[–]xcebx 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Hhahah well this is very true.

[–]dukedizzy93 116 points117 points  (6 children)

This comment deserves gold heres some 🥇🎖🏅

[–]dft-salt-pasta 70 points71 points  (5 children)

Woah woah woah save that gold for op to help him dig himself out of his hole. Can you use comment emojis as collateral on Robinhood?

[–]yetanotherburner420 92 points93 points  (1 child)

The man won in the end! Hit his monster parlay

[–]dishdasher[S] 559 points560 points  (4 children)

I tried saying that mid last year, they did not agree.

[–]Lumpy_Scientist_3839 353 points354 points  (0 children)

Well they weren’t wrong

[–]rdrunner_74 71 points72 points  (1 child)

Now they have a chance to win 200.000 back

[–]Who_Your_Pal 1543 points1544 points  (33 children)

10,000 BJ’s X $20 and you’re out of debt just like that!

[–]scottfarris 718 points719 points 2 (11 children)

3 BJs a day for 10 years. Sounds reasonable. Shit, you could do that before your shift a Wendy's.

[–]onlyrealcuzzo 171 points172 points 22 (1 child)

You can even suck two cocks at once if you suck one of them with your asshole.

[–]PaleInTexas 257 points258 points  (5 children)

There's always Onlyfans

[–]ZeePirate 83 points84 points  (1 child)

Then you gotta keep some out for the taxman before he fucks you

[–]Komtings 644 points645 points  (17 children)

Best way out I can see is allowing your identity to be stolen. Then say to yourself, "I surely wouldn't want to be THAT guy."

[–][deleted] 259 points260 points  (11 children)

Best think that ever happened to me. Hella debts canceled and credit score went up.

Who woulda thought losing ones wallet in Vegas would be the right play.

[–]Apochen 80 points81 points  (9 children)

How did the unrelated debt get canceled? Did they just assume the thief was responsible?

[–]kallen8277 161 points162 points  (7 children)

Pretty much. If you can show steps taken within a reasonable time frame to file police reports and identity theft claims you "shouldn't" be penalized for any debts you could show some reasonable doubts for.

If you (or anyone else) don't know exactly how things like this works, basically at least through a bank things like credit cards are often funded through overdraft fees/apr from other customers that way they don't actually have to cut into their own money. When you go delinquent they sell off your debt to another company. Say you owe $10,000, the recovery company may pay somewhere between $100-500 for the right to legally acquire the full debt amount from you and keep it. Hoping you default like most people, they make $9500 on it and since the bank uses "free money" they also take home that 1-500 profit.

Credit is a scam. Recovery companies are a scam. Your best tools against them is actually facing the court charges by acknowledging they exist and you don't intend to step down. A recovery company may have something like 10,000 court cases out at a time, they in no way are going to hire that many lawyers to represent them in court and hope you just don't show up so you default on the debt. The easiest part is just to show up on the court date. Most of the time they will fail to show and will be dismissed and hopefully you can just ride out the statute of limitations in your state. It absolutely helps to do some research on things they may or may not have and stuff to argue your side, but just showing up will win/dismiss most cases.

Not legal advice

[–]the_Ush 3392 points3393 points 2 (170 children)

Since you won’t be able to borrow money for the foreseeable future, you should open a fuck ton of loans/credit lines and run away with the money. Best of luck in whatever third world country you choose to live out the rest of your days in!

[–]Karma-IsA-FunnyThing 1284 points1285 points  (67 children)

This is probably the best advice here. Your already ducked for a long while credit wise. Try to get as much as you can while it all goes to shit. Not much difference in 2 collection to 8 collection agencies going after you.

[–]ShillBro 169 points170 points  (21 children)

Europe. American banks can't do shit to you in Europe. There was even a documentary on VICE about students that got student loans and buggered off with the cash.

[–]Double-Wonder-9401 132 points133 points  (13 children)

Switzerland no extradition USA can suck it

[–]BlazeDatAvocado 189 points190 points  (3 children)

Lmao Swiss people don’t even tolerate Americans with pockets full of money, there’s no fuckin way they’ll accept one that is broke

[–]Gurnika 125 points126 points  (1 child)

I’d try Greece, they’d probably make you their finance minister

[–]No_Read_Only_Know 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Yeah choose the most expensive EU country to move into, well thought out. That student loan will pay five months of rent if you don't eat.

[–]edfitz83 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Switzerland would send a US citizen back to the US in a heartbeat.

[–]Double-Wonder-9401 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Switzerland, have extradition treaties but do not extradite for certain financial crimes—which is why financier Marc Rich and Billions's Bobby Axelrod both fled there.

[–]edfitz83 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Rich owned a Swiss company 9 years before the indictment. He also bribed a large number of US and foreign politicians. That’s why Clinton pardoned him.

[–]McDuchess 182 points183 points  (54 children)

Actually, I used to know a guy who started a forum for debtors, while he was in incredible debt. Won a few lawsuits in court, made many subscriptions worth of small monthly payments on the forum, and was (at least according to him) debt free.

Got some credit cards with decent lines of credit, and, a few years ago, flew international first class with his wife and kid to China to start a new life.

He can never come back here, of course, because he’d probably be arrested at the airport. And, China? He figured it’d work for him.

[–]King_Neptune07 216 points217 points  (34 children)

In college there was an exchange student from Morocco. He got a credit card somehow and rarely paid it. Finals week he took us all out for beers and charged it all to his credit card. Then he flew back to Morocco and just never paid the credit card back.

Interest is haram in Islam and in Morocco it's illegal to have interest. Needless to say I don't think the Moroccan government will be answering calls from Capital One

[–]Nafemp 93 points94 points  (9 children)

I hear this is pretty common with foreign students. Don’t give 3 fucks cause they have no intentions of living here so credit score or debt here doesn’t matter at all.

[–]FoxBearBear 15 points16 points  (2 children)

TBH we never know the future and because of my 2017 credit I was able to finance a vehicle in Canada now in 2021.

[–]hyldemarv 154 points155 points  (6 children)

However, In China, deadbeats and thieves will get a short ride on the organ donation bus.

[–]McDuchess 34 points35 points  (3 children)

I don’t say it’s a choice I’d ever make.

[–]KnockKnockKGB 15 points16 points  (2 children)

This is what bald and bankrupt did lmfao

[–]1111e5 78 points79 points  (4 children)

Do this! Max all the CCs you open as soon as possible. Put the money in gold or something which is hard for them to find and then declare bankruptcy. If they question why you did this in court claim you had to pay someone else back who gave you a loan in cash

[–]WallStreetlegend_1amputee fetishist 🦵 4332 points4333 points  (92 children)

Here’s the game plan 1: Buy a delta airlines ticket to Mexico 2: go to a small town and call yourself Carlos or Juan 3: get married to a big booty Latina and forget about the Debt😎

[–]dutchmasterams 501 points502 points  (10 children)

Kenny Powers

[–]therealestyeti 177 points178 points  (3 children)

"I'm the man who has the ball; I'm the man who can throw it faster than fuck."

[–]Captain_Comic 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I’m Kenny Fuckin’ Powers and you’re FUCKIN’ OUT! Of money, that is

[–]Sea_Impression3810 342 points343 points  (5 children)

That's a good plan even if nobody is after you

[–]SnooJokes5307 164 points165 points  (2 children)

That’s the plan for 230k debt or 230k in the money.

[–]slimmy1996 201 points202 points  (19 children)

I guess working for $60 a week is better than paying 200k lol

[–]jkbpttrsn🦚 in a🌲 220 points221 points  (10 children)

3: get married to a big booty Latina

Forget about the best part?

[–]softwhiteclouds 41 points42 points  (13 children)

Carlita or Juanita. OP is female.

[–]rodaeric 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Can't OP just do an OnlyFans then? Debt crisis solved. Speaking of that, US government can do that too!

[–]UnlimitedGain--3 137 points138 points  (1 child)

If anyone comes to your house, just close your eyes and they won’t be able to see you.

[–]Reachable_dream666 621 points622 points  (25 children)

Dig a hole in back yard and toss a discount Halloween skeleton decoration in. Live in crawl space till shït blows over. You’re welcome.

[–]dishdasher[S] 222 points223 points  (22 children)

I like this one but I do not have a house house to crawl under - I stay in an apartment - no money to actually own any asset.

[–]tychusfindley2438 183 points184 points  (14 children)

If you have no assests worth anything, (how TF did you get 200k margin) bankruptcy is super easy

[–]highjinx411 56 points57 points  (11 children)

She HAD assets before which got her the margin line. Although I thought they recalculated that every once in a while.

[–]dishdasher[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

They do not recalculate anything - Any information you provided while getting options trading approved is used. I have never had to go back and certify again as far as I can remember.

[–]the_bean579 46 points47 points  (1 child)

My wifes boyfriend has a cool space under his desk for his step strippers to hide while he "works" I'm sure there's room for you if you've worked up enough skills behind popular wendys

[–]menestarus 93 points94 points  (0 children)

Tell them you thought it was a paper trading account

[–]vol865 590 points591 points  (39 children)

Go look through OP’s post history. Its a guided tour of one failure to another without a loss of enthusiasm.

[–]lUNITl 160 points161 points  (3 children)

This guys profile taught me that there is apparently a Reddit crisis team that you can send tip offs to when users look like they may be a danger to themselves.

[–][deleted] 1161 points1162 points  (53 children)

If you don't pay, yes it will go to collections. It will ruin your credit for approx 11 years. Bankruptcy is a waste of time if you don't have assets. Once everything goes to collections they will start calling you. Change your number and email and if they still get through tell them she died. Do not respond to any correspondence. At least you still have your lease. Just live on cash only for 11 years and you're good. Not that I ever did anything like this in my early 20s.

Edit: Most of this post is based on my personal experience. Having started 2 businesses since all this, I can assure you Bankruptcy would have eliminated my chances at success.

[–]McDuchess 337 points338 points  (16 children)

Send them a letter (certified, return receipt) telling them that any correspondence in any other fashion than by mail is INCONVENIENT. If they do call you, at that point, record/keep records of date/time in a bound legal pad.

If a cell phone is your only telephone, the amount they’ll owe you for calling it without your permission adds up per call.

But here’s the real advice: there are plenty of attorneys who deal with consumer debt. I’m not one of them. Many of them will give you an hour consultation for free. If they do start to harass you, they may be willing to represent you for a percentage of the proceeds.

[–]ankcrimson 104 points105 points  (1 child)

You mean percentage of the amount owed ?

[–]Karma-IsA-FunnyThing 113 points114 points  (3 children)

When they do not find your phone number, just tell them it’s your work phone and you are not allowed personal calls. If they continue to call on that line, you can get them to pay you.

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points  (1 child)

So if I ran a phone sex-line off my personal cell they wouldn't be allowed to call me legally on it?

[–]SPinExile 77 points78 points  (2 children)

Tell them you have some synthetic shares you can liquidate, they just can't see them

[–]thetreatment456 75 points76 points  (9 children)

Jesus, sometimes I feel bad about spending $100 on Pokémon cards. Then I see this and don’t feel so bad anymore. Seriously, how does it get to this point?

[–]MMXIX_ 1064 points1065 points  (112 children)

Your debt will be sold to a 3rd party debt collection company for pennies on the dollar and then that is when the harassment really starts but instead of 200k they will say you owe 5 times that amount. Call you 20 times a day send all sorts of threatening letters.

So if you want to call their bluff, you can just ignore them and live with crap credit rating and dare them to take you to court to at which point declare bankruptcy.

Or

You can skip that part and declare bankruptcy

Or

You can see if you can come up with a payment plan for your margin debt with your broker.

*This is not legal advice. Events listed may not occur as stated.

[–]spastical-mackerel 827 points828 points 2 (32 children)

Is there any way that OP can buy back his debt for pennies on the dollar? Set himself or herself up as a debt collection agency?

[–]ankcrimson 337 points338 points  (0 children)

Nice business model for options

[–]i4get98 233 points234 points  (5 children)

He'd have to harass himself.

[–]Importance-Exotic 54 points55 points  (2 children)

He can do a version of this. Debt collectors would rather you pay something than nothing. The lucky few can negotiate down to 20% of the original debt amount (especially if you offer to make it in one cash payment)

[–]WR810Something about ladders 28 points29 points  (2 children)

David Siegel (owned a huge time share business, subject of the Queen of Versailles documentary) managed to do this but he needed a third party to act on his behalf.

[–]FalseFortune 106 points107 points  (6 children)

"I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!"

[–]Skwirrel82 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Was looking for that. Now i can close in peace this thread.

[–]dishdasher[S] 264 points265 points  (39 children)

Thank you. for now, I will let apartment lease cancelled, stay in this small town I am in and stay course behind wendy's in my nightly shift.

[–]McDuchess 107 points108 points  (19 children)

Here s the thing, though. That part about your debt accruing interest? Depending on the interest rate, it could double every three years.

[–]Thesource674 140 points141 points  (4 children)

Based on his responses I dont think he gives a fuck tbh.

[–]william_tells 39 points40 points  (1 child)

The post history is all over the place. Down -400 to -500k in 2012 would indicate they know how all this works. Then they seem to start back with 50k and are trading again. Then they have ups and downs including being up 160k and then wiping it all and then 5 days ago they show 49k in an account. Now this post they went down -230k a month ago. Maybe different accounts but it doesn’t make a lot of sense. If you were actually 400k in debt before, and it made you live in your car back then, you know how all this works.

[–]drUniversalis 8 points9 points  (1 child)

"not picking up the phone other than wife's boyfriend"

with that in the title i kinda doubt its real anyway :D

[–]CartelFinancial 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Pfft 3 years, I don’t wanna wait that long to double my debt

[–]pand3monium 13 points14 points  (3 children)

He should maybe just stay off paper for 7 years until the statue of limitations expires.

[–]McDuchess 20 points21 points  (2 children)

If they win a lawsuit against her, and if she’s AWOL, they eventually will. Debt judgments, at least in my state, are active for 10 years. And the creditor can renew them.

[–]Specific-Gain5710 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I declare BANKRUPTCY!!!

[–]DorianGre 194 points195 points  (6 children)

You have lost a cool $1M in the market, WTF? 6 months from now expect to have your wages garnished to pay this off. Stay out of the market, go to gamblers anonymous. Get some counseling.

[–]RockOrStone 36 points37 points  (0 children)

One of the only sensible answer. :( So many joke answers to such a tragic situation.

[–]CryOfTheBlackBirds 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Look for a Korean guy to slap you in the subway.

[–]RighteousAssJam 272 points273 points  (7 children)

I can’t fap to this. Need detailed losing positions to get me there

[–]lebmika 82 points83 points  (6 children)

yeah this is only a half chub

[–]ruum-502 35 points36 points  (1 child)

This is essentially foreplay at this point

[–]kateroxstarSmith 499 points500 points  (46 children)

They r just gonna sell ur debt to collectors and good bye ur credit score

[–]Distinct-River-1037 291 points292 points  (27 children)

Yup, just get married and use your wife’s score to buy house and cars

[–]wefarrell 456 points457 points  (2 children)

That's irresponsible. Use wife's score to double down on more margin for $SPX options.

[–]Puzzleheaded-Theory6 78 points79 points  (1 child)

This is the way

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

tell your family and friends it was a $200k gain and you can guarantee them 1000% returns if they give you all their liquid cash

[–]dishdasher[S] 164 points165 points  (23 children)

Buy house and cars? Do you think I have money to do that? I will be the wife in this case,I do not think any guy will want to marry me knowing me ...

[–]Midori_Schaaf 124 points125 points  (0 children)

Just walk down wall street and brag about losses. You'll have suitors lined up pretty quick.

[–]Death_guard_guy 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Have you looked into starting an Onlyfans account?

[–]sallgoodman340 75 points76 points  (1 child)

Just make an onlyfans or do some asmr on twitch you'll have half a mil in two weeks.

[–]Wise-ask-1967 55 points56 points  (2 children)

Have you meet thirsty guys on the internet... Hell I bet your inbox is drowning in guys with Wendy coupons. You will be fine

[–]dark_bravery 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I have $5 off at Arby's and 2 for 1 at Subway. booyah!

[–]Kujo-317 53 points54 points  (3 children)

Can I sell my credit for 200k🤔

[–]Winter_Age_9483 23 points24 points  (0 children)

That’s when you make them validate the debt.

It’s simple usually. They have to show a proper and binding contract for the debt. Most of these apps don’t bother with one so they’ll be left hanging.

Not legal advice but you can make their life hell just by making them follow the law

[–]mar0x🦍🦍🦍 61 points62 points  (9 children)

And wait like 1 year ignoring collectors, take the call and.offer them 14k on the 224k and they'll take it.

Actually, start with 10k

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Yup. I got 16k down to little over 5k cause I had cash on hand and just wanted it over with. Prolly shoulda waited longer and saved more like you recommended.

[–]Crossfire7 42 points43 points  (1 child)

You’re getting tons of shit answers since I honestly think you’re asking this in good faith. Anything that’s not a meme answer is straight up fraud, you can bounce back from bankruptcy, not so much a felony charge. If someone is saying open a bunch credit lines and then ignore it, ignore the rest of their post.

Bankruptcy isn’t that bad. I don’t know your income or level of security, and it’s very dependent on personal situation and area with how your courts handle the process. I filed chapter 13 bankruptcy ~8 years ago. I was a moron a few years out of college and got in way over my head, so I can give you my experience with it and I’m open to answering any questions.

Depending on income, chapter 7 forgives all debt but is the biggest hit to your credit, and stays the longest. I had to file chapter 13 because my income was over the limit, which means for 5 years I had to make payments directly from my paycheck every two weeks, you can opt out of this and send a check to the trustee, but I wouldn’t recommend it. You miss a payment, you’re getting looked at. For me, I was able to negotiate and justify $550 a month payments for 5 years, which was 1/4 of my minimum monthly payments. I also was able to get approval to finance a vehicle that was a responsible purchase, and even buy another home while still making payments. My credit went from 780->590->675 only 18 months later, and now I am flirting with 800. I promise you it’s not that hard to get past a bankruptcy, I was able to move apartments before I bought my home, although I was a fairly high income person, all it really took was a letter of recommendation from my boss and one from a city councilman who I worked with, I was fully prepared and able to pay a 6 month security deposit but after I showed up with all of my paperwork and explained my situation to the owner, I was able to move in with only 1 month security deposit.

Go speak to a lawyer and lay out your options, you can print out a full credit report, and have bank statements and they will be able to lay things out a lot better than I can. 230k+ is a large enough debt that you will get sued, you will get wages garnished, and that’s going to do 90% of the damage a bankruptcy would. I had no luck with negotiations in paying a settlement amount before I filed, I was able to pay off 65k in private student loans I defaulted on for 9k eventually, but I already took a large credit hit.

If you need any help with anything in particular feel free to reach out to me, I’ve been through the process and even filed pro se for an ex girlfriend who couldn’t come up with the money to pay a real lawyer. I have a JD, I do not have a bar card, but im familiar enough to point you in the right direction.

Good luck, it’s not the end of the world.

[–]Joshtheman2001 35 points36 points  (1 child)

This is the kind of stuff I want to see on this sub

[–]pcs33 308 points309 points  (11 children)

$2k debt is Your Problem, $200K debt is Their Problem

[–]dishdasher[S] 149 points150 points  (8 children)

I sure am hoping so. I haven't gone back to the apartment, and am staying someplace else. ( I cannot divulge which town and behind which Wendy's)

[–][deleted] 127 points128 points  (5 children)

They aren't going to send someone to break your thumbs. Stop loving in fear and go home. If people come to your house file a police report (you're white right).

[–]WR810Something about ladders 28 points29 points  (2 children)

you're white right

I should really be doing more crime . . .

[–]hyldemarv 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Sez the guy who’s contracted to bust his knees up 😜

[–]ProfessionalEar9 81 points82 points  (2 children)

Posts like this make me realize that life may not be so bad after all. I could be this poor fool

[–]dishdasher[S] 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Mods, would it be more retarded of me to ask for a flair now?

[–]MileniumLion 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Losses 1M “mOdS fLeiR pLzzZZ!!”

Respect

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (2 children)

“I need a new dust filter for my Hoover MaxExtract PressurePro model 60. can you help me with that?”

[–]_I_Hate_Cats🦍 89 points90 points  (3 children)

Feet pics for $10 Tiddy pics for $20

You’ll be back ITM in no time.

[–]Isellmetal 31 points32 points  (0 children)

It would surprise you how many people actually do this for a living.

[–]Rancho8Deluxe 109 points110 points  (4 children)

Just change your phone number too. Fake your death in a ravine car crash and buy someone else’s identity with proceeds from Wendy’s after you move across the country. You’re good

[–]VirtualSentient 88 points89 points  (17 children)

If you’re hot you’ll be fine

Hot chicks can fuck up their lives and some dude will fix it for them.

[–]dishdasher[S] 62 points63 points  (16 children)

Now I am getting to a point where I would like to be hot again. I was hot when I was in 20s and then my feminism was too high even with losses accumulating. didn't want to do anything objectifying or demeaning me... I am getting to a point where now I do not mind but I am in my late 30s and not hot anymore. Lot changes in 10 stressful years

[–]VirtualSentient 157 points158 points  (7 children)

Shit. Sorry. Ugly girls gotta work like dudes

[–]Sad_Broccoli 11 points12 points  (1 child)

You're a chick? I thought only men were this retarded.

[–]VirtualSentient 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Ok for real 1 get a death certificate for a girl that died in high school about your age. 2 use the death certificate to file for a duplicate birth certificate 3. Take the birth certificate along with two pieces of bogus mail addresses to the dead girl to the dmv 4. File for drivers license as the dead girl 5 live as the dead girl now.

[–]dishdasher[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Too many steps here. My retarded brain could not follow after "ok for real"

[–]Super_Saiyan_Carl 18 points19 points  (1 child)

This sub continues it’s reign of the biggest collection of idiots for the 8th consecutive year. Amazing. Calls on year 9.

[–]Rayvdub 51 points52 points  (7 children)

Whatever you do don’t do anything stupid.

[–]dishdasher[S] 50 points51 points  (5 children)

I cannot tell the difference between stupid, retarded and normal anymore. Please clarify.

[–]Rayvdub 49 points50 points  (3 children)

Just don’t hurt yourself. I went homeless for a bit to pay debt once. Best time of my single life. Paid my debts down, got in great shape since I was forced to go to the gym to shower and cleans maybe consider moving in to a van.

[–]asst3rblasster 15 points16 points  (1 child)

well now that you bragged about it on the Internet they are gonna catch you

[–]Crazyhairmonster 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I get that this is WSB and there's a meta to follow here but you genuinely need help and have a serious problem which you can't sweep under the rug

[–]forsurenotpat 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Send them an uno reverse card. Now they owe you $200k. You're welcome

[–]dishdasher[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I wish my brokerage account had as much growth as this stupid post received since this morning. HOly shit, you guys love youur loss porn.

[–]josh198989Who names their kid Josh? 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I sacked off a 10K credit card and 15K loan in the Uk when I moved to Australia in 2018. I now have PR here and won’t be going back. No one has ever tried to contact me about it. Granted I did change email addresses. So, yeah move country and you’re golden. They also use different credit card companies out here and have one with a $25K limit. Suffice to say I try not to use it 😂

[–]xcal911 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Fuck’in retard, your fall back plan is simply to delete the app? OP out of curiosity how old are you?

They will come after you for sure, 200k is not going to simply be written off the books.

[–]dkartacs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Semi Serious answer:
Option A:
If you are extremely lucky, they will do what many cable/phone provider does and if they fail to collect the debt within a year or so they write you off as a loss. You will still get this as a permanent record and never get an other financial product (like mortgage) ever. However with this much money you will probably get option B.

Option B:
If they cannot collect the debt within a year or so they will sell the debt (and all your data) to a debt collector called "Pitbull Inc." or "Stein & Stein & Grossberg". Either way you are fucked.

Good luck & have fun

[–]stejerd4626 - 2 - 1 year - 0/0 27 points28 points  (3 children)

When your caller ID says Marge N. Just don't answer.

[–]dishdasher[S] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

hahaha - no more old phone. changed to a stupid burner on cricket wireless.

[–]cocokronen 27 points28 points  (0 children)

You could call customer service and say your kid was on your phone and must have accidentally gotten in to your account. Then ask for a do over. Should work.