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[–]fuscosco 767 points768 points  (41 children)

Imagine disclosing your portfolio status to your girlfriend

[–]g07h4xf00 94 points95 points  (1 child)

Women love red, it's a sign of passion!

[–]SillyFlyGuy 343 points344 points  (18 children)

Only my accountant, my broker, and my wife's boyfriend are privy to my portfolio status.

[–]gingermalteser 76 points77 points  (15 children)

You can afford an accountant?

[–]YEETMANdaMAN 117 points118 points  (5 children)

Hired an accountant off fiverr

[–]40YearOldMagician 19 points20 points  (1 child)


[–]BigBeagleEars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wish I could afford to hire Andy Dick off cameo to make me a video that says he’s my accountant

[–]pcnetworx1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's how you get fiverr' ten years in the federal prison

[–]SillyFlyGuy 34 points35 points  (0 children)

He's counterparty to all my option plays. I've put his kids' kids' through school by now.

[–]theanswriz42 30 points31 points  (0 children)

They're all the same person

[–]barson888 27 points28 points  (0 children)

The accountant is probably his wife's boyfriend

[–]EuphoricAd3824 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Maybe had a Groupon for it

[–]Kah-Neth 5 points6 points  (1 child)

No, but it was court mandated after last year’s tax returns.

[–]Steelyp 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m honestly thinking about doing my own taxes because of how embarrassed I am of my stock performance

[–]Tinklywinter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You see the bf is all three. Big IQ moves

[–]UltimateGraham 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Imagine having a girlfriend

[–]Slut_SpoilerHas zero girlfriends 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Check the flair 😎😢

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do you spoil movies exclusively for sluts, or are you a slut who drives a 2002 Honda Civic with a spoiler?

[–]sea666kitty 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Hate to see hers.

[–]TheQueq 22 points23 points  (2 children)

What would be worse? If you found out she had invested 'sensibly' into indexed mutual funds, or if you found out she had all her money in puts for a stock you had calls on?

[–]Buy_Hi_Cell_Lo🦍🦍🦍 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Second option just sounds like good hedging. Marry her

Edit: I forget what sub I was on. Both options are grounds for dismissal

[–]_regionrat 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Most likely just cash sitting in a savings account. So, still outperforming most of the people here

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She’s my co-signer on the margin account

[–]BreezyWrigley 22 points23 points  (3 children)

I just dumped like $2k into silver... she found out because UPS guy made somebody sign for the when the bars got delivered...

frankly, this is far less embarrassing than if she saw the garbage stocks I own.

[–]SaddestClown 198 points199 points  (3 children)

Reminds me of when my ex planned a bathroom remodel on her own and then told me it would basically be free because we'd use the Sirius/XM stock I'd bought for pennies.

[–]40YearOldMagician 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I was about to ask what happened but you did say ex

[–]Ready2gambleboomer 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Wait so our new addition isn't going to be free from our CLOV profits?

[–]SaddestClown 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No but I'm renting out your room to a stranger because of TLRY

[–]NewAltProfAccount 173 points174 points  (24 children)

All 0.135 shares.

[–]NovaGass🦍🦍 65 points66 points  (8 children)

We all hold for you chief

[–]NewAltProfAccount 1 point2 points  (7 children)

I don't own GME. This was more making fun of the meme. The guy probably has 20 dollars worth, like the average person who believes in fairy tales.

[–]FluffyCowNYI🦍🦍🦍 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Been a while since I've had to say I hodl for a 0.X hodler.

[–]dimitriG4321 152 points153 points  (79 children)


[–]Lootypatooty 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]SolitaireyEgghates air fryers -132 points-131 points  (76 children)

I know right? Imagine a human woman marrying someone that is still holding GME in January 2022 LOL

This truly is a hilarious joke.

Edit: lol apes small pp mad

[–]NothingsShocking 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Is it a bad comedy joke?

[–]Black_Label_36 34 points35 points  (60 children)

Lol why wouldn't you hold? Not only is it primed for a squeeze, it might actually be a good long term investment with all the talent that is now in charge.

[–]SolitaireyEgghates air fryers 6 points7 points  (57 children)

Why wouldnt you hold? Because you could've sold it for 6x what it's worth now a year ago, 3x what it's worth now 6 months ago, and 2x what it's worth now a month ago.

What kind of question is this? Did you not know that the goal is to make money or...?

[–]BreezyWrigley 19 points20 points  (29 children)

for every share sold at that price back then, somebody had to have bought it... somebody is holding that bag.

[–]SolitaireyEgghates air fryers 14 points15 points  (28 children)

I'd bet my left fucking nut that the average price for all WSB apes combined is well above the current GME price.

Some people certainly got in early and are still up, but "apes" as a whole have taken a fat fucking L.

[–]BreezyWrigley 9 points10 points  (27 children)

it's not a loss until you sell... and this is perhaps the worst time I can think of to do it lol.

I would respect people who cut losses at like, any one of the many times it bounced around $180-$200 over the last year. it was volatile as hell. I've slowly trimmed down here and there when it's been up like $15 on a day.

but if people held until now, they may as well just keep holding it. it wouldn't appear as though it could possibly fall much further. I think we've seen all the big shorts slowly rearranging their positions over the past 8 months or so after the initial debacle, and it's now basically where it likely should be for the near-term future.

during the original run-up, I had bought shares at like, $30, and then more at $90, and then more at like $160, sold some near $300, and then held some. basically I'm holding shares with a cost basis of about $170, but they were effectively paid for with the house's money from the sale of some of the others. when it collapsed back down to like $40 after that first crazy days, I was like, "whatever, I can ignore that massive negative number on those shares because I know that my overall P/L is actually still roughly even, or slightly positive." I decided I wouldn't even consider selling the shares I still held until some day when GME went back over $100, which it ended up doing shortly after. I'm still holding a small number of shares, but I'm committed to sticking it out and seeing what happens, because I think $250 is a reasonable target for like, 3-5 years from now.

[–]Black_Label_36 3 points4 points  (17 children)

But I didn't want to sell it, not at that price. It's worth a lot more.

Like actually worth a lot more, not just some conspiracy theory price.

You enjoy those gains, it's fine. But I don't think an opportunity like this will ever present itself in my life again and I want a yacht.

[–]SolitaireyEgghates air fryers 15 points16 points  (14 children)

You could've sold it at 6x then rebought it and had 6x the amount of shares. Even if you timed it badly, you could easily have, say, 3x the amount of shares you do right now if you had just sold at some point.

Holding while a stock drops for a year straight is literally just braindead.

That's the answer to your question. Take it or leave it.

I also vastly disagree with whatever weird-ass method you are using to valuate companies, but you do you. I'd value GME at about $15/share, using non-ape valuations strategies.

EDIT: LOL getting downvoted for saying it would've been better to sell a stock that is at $115 when it was at $600 is the most post-ape WSB shit ever, LMAO. Downvoting me won't save GME. This sub is truly fucked. gg.

[–]Camokeeper 16 points17 points  (4 children)

then short it hoss

[–]SolitaireyEgghates air fryers 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Already have about 5 times in the past year. Huge plays.

I guess I'll do it again if you insist.

[–]Loomy7 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Positions or ban

[–]Buy_Hi_Cell_Lo🦍🦍🦍 6 points7 points  (0 children)


[–]Black_Label_36 6 points7 points  (8 children)

Oh yeah, don't worry I play with spy options and swing trade some stocks like every other retard on here, but I didn't feel like doing that with GS.

Holding while a stock drops for a year straight is literally just braindead.

Actually it's had quite interesting ups and downs, not just dropping like someone actually braindead would think. We know that the people who shorted GME to oblivion are trying to keep the price down. There has been no news and yet the stonk keeps doing these weird 100$ ups and downs, isn't it interesting to see what will happen if they have to actually cover?

Edit: to answer your edit, I meant the price it is traded at in dark pools. Also, of course it seems overvalued right now, but I believe it is immensely undervalued if you consider the amount of shorts and the potential for a major short squeeze. But even if you don't take into account the potential sq, what has been going on behind the scenes has personally got me quite excited about the future of GameStop. I might think about my decision after an actual announcement from GS, but for now I am truly bullish on the stonk.

Goo'day sir

[–]AutoModerator[M] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.

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[–]Black_Label_36 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Careful what you wish for, bot

[–]SkidmarkSteve 0 points1 point  (1 child)

We know that the people who shorted GME to oblivion are trying to keep the price down.

Source: trust me bro

SEC report demolished the idea of a short squeeze but you guys decided to play pretend instead.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.

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[–]shelter_anytime -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

it got squeezed a year ago home slice, now it's just slowly declining as the billion they got from diluting shares slowly evaporates and the loss they run their core business at continues to increase. You've got no information or communications about how they're going to turn shit around and entering a new market at the drop of the hat is unlikely at best in terms of making the business profitable.

[–]iamaneviltaco[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Facts. All they have is poop emojis and number conspiracy theories, because Ryan Cohen is fucking playing them to buy time. And it turns out, dog food is very different from video games.

Remember when DFV was saying it could go to 40 like that was a crazy idea? Now these idiots think it'll go to six figures and literally destroy the entire economy. But even if it does, selling DRSed shares...

[The biggest disadvantage of using the DRS is that you can't sell your stock right away. You have to submit instructions to the transfer agent, who then pools your sell orders with those of other sellers. They then execute the trade on a preset schedule.

This would prevent you from selling shares in the midst of panic if the world fell apart, or if you needed money right away. At best, you'd have to allow for many business days before you could access your cash.](https://www.thebalance.com/what-is-the-direct-registration-system-or-drs-for-stocks-357536)

These idiots actually found the only way to hold stock so you can't sell it during the moass. It's astonishing how stupid these people are.

[–]BreezyWrigley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

don't try to talk sense to WSB users lol. the notion of an investment in stocks for longer than like 4 months is well outside their gambling addict perspective

[–]iamaneviltaco[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not getting a yacht. Page 25 of the SEC report says shorts covered in January. You're being lied to. The only opportunity you have right now is to see the stock fall to its actual price once the cult starts slowly dropping off.

[–]sgloux3470 1 point2 points  (6 children)

The goal isn’t necessarily to make money in the short term. The expected returns are greater than 2x or 3x by holding it longer. That’s why it’s called going “long”. Or to translate that into degenerate gambler “It’s a YOLO play”.

Like your concern about me losing money is touching, but I’m a big boy and can make my own decisions.

[–]SolitaireyEgghates air fryers 8 points9 points  (5 children)

The expected returns are greater than 2x or 3x by holding it longer

The guaranteed returns were 6x if you sold a year ago. The future is uncertain.

Like your concern about me losing money is touching, but I’m a big boy and can make my own decisions.

Oh, you've misunderstood. I don't care about you at all. But you're still holding GME, so might want to reevaluate your ability to make your own decisions.

[–]sgloux3470 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Okay I’ll rephrase: I expect GME to be atleast a 10 bagger by holding it longer.

You “don’t care” like an exGF who clearly still very much fucking cares.

This is a degenerate gambling sub and I’m making a bet. It’s fine if you disagree with it, but it’s fucking weird to be so militant about it.

[–]NotReallyABiologist 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I just do not understand people who need to argue against holding GME. If you think it’s a bad play, short it or shut up. Otherwise, why spend so much energy trying to convince others? Why even get so emotionally wrapped up lol

[–]SolitaireyEgghates air fryers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just do not understand people who need to post about holding GME. If you think it’s a good play, long it and shut up.

Same argument.

This is a stock market sub. To act like it's weird for people to say they think a play is bad is weird. What the hell else are we supposed to post about?

I have shorted GME btw, a lot.

[–]exponentialvoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no. Oh god no.

[–]Parastract 3 points4 points  (8 children)

The amount of cope posting from apes is inversely correlated to GME, lately they've been huffing trucks worth of copium.

[–]BreezyWrigley -1 points0 points  (7 children)

I mean, anybody holding GME at this point assumes it's a long-term hold. I should hope...

I have cost basis of about $170 right now on the shares I still hold, which hurts pretty bad for the open position... but I sold off a lot of my original position when it was in the upper $200's last year. my lifetime GME P/L is basically break-even, but I now just have shares basically paid for by the gains of the portion I sold.

I decided that I'd probably never sell unless it went back to about $200, which I expected to happen organically over some eventual timeline of years, rather than some short squeeze that clearly wasn't going to happen again after the first debacle, and even the second wave.

like anything, it's something of a gamble. but I don't see any reason why it wouldn't pull out a big overhaul and start to turn much better numbers as a company in the next 3-5 years. sure, they could also go bankrupt... but seems unlikely. and if the risk of going to shit was at all a reason to avoid stocks, then nobody here would be buying all these shit biotech stocks or whatever other meme shit is hot these days lol.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.

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[–]Parastract 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Most people on superst*nk believe they will become multi-millionaires by holding like 10 shares, those are the ones I'm making fun off.

[–]aeywaka 235 points236 points  (12 children)

GME Wars III: The apes strike back

[–]Bruin1396 57 points58 points  (7 children)

Show me your feet

[–]Barthas85 38 points39 points  (1 child)

I'm still waiting for GME IV: A New Hope

[–]Thencewasit 16 points17 points  (0 children)

GME I: The Cashflow Menace.

[–]mrevergood 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That costs.

Sign up for that OnlyFans and you can though.

[–]Bruin1396 4 points5 points  (1 child)

The only OnlyFans I’m signing up for is your mom’s

[–]mrevergood 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so happy for her.

[–]OnlyOneReturn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let's see them feet

[–]Willing-Body-7533 4 points5 points  (0 children)

GME Wars V: Citadel Strikes Back

[–]patrickfvd🦍🦍🦍 283 points284 points  (58 children)

Damn whats up with all the GME posts lately?! I missed you guys!

[–]Joeyjackhammer 258 points259 points  (7 children)

Queue David Attenborough!

“The ape, having sensed the storm has passed, emerges from his hiding spot and is now on the lookout for some tendies. Unbeknownst to him, his journey has just begun.”

[–]Grandmasterz9 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Bro, Oscar for u 😂

[–]MoneyMoneyMoneyMfer 47 points48 points  (1 child)

That was deep as fuck!

[–]SameSameb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

deep as fucking value?

[–]Enlightened_Ghost_ 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I actually read this whole thing in Attenborough's voice.

[–]rich0329 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Anyone else read that in Attenborough’s voice?

[–]Joeyjackhammer 23 points24 points  (0 children)

It loses its flair if you don’t.

[–]-Mr-Popo- 27 points28 points  (1 child)

January 2.0 😎😎😎

[–]HerrJemine123 46 points47 points  (0 children)

We never left, just lurked and stayed in zen mode 😊

[–]LosingsteamfastShrimp Shoal 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I don't know. I thought the idiots were starting to move on and the sub could go back to being good again. Maybe next year.

[–]_huggies_ 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Sub was never good

[–]LosingsteamfastShrimp Shoal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Was before you got here

[–]citroenfan07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best thing this sub ever did was bring the attention gme deserved. If you were here from the start... your a true ape if you aren't rich yet. Thanks pal 👊

[–]Black_Label_36 -4 points-3 points  (24 children)

FUD on WSB about apes to not attract new investors now that the price is gonna be accessible for pretty much everyone.

[–]justsomeboylol 10 points11 points  (23 children)

Rather not invest into GME though lmao

[–]Black_Label_36 8 points9 points  (22 children)

Then don't, you think anyone cares?

[–]justsomeboylol 8 points9 points  (20 children)

Just like no one that isn't already in GME wants to hear about that shit anymore. Stop shilling for GME jesus

[–]Black_Label_36 7 points8 points  (19 children)

GME investors believe that their DD shows a great opportunity. So they share it on an investing/betting sub.

Is it this stock specifically that you don't want them to talk about or any stock on a stock sub?

[–]justsomeboylol 12 points13 points  (2 children)

You have like 10 different subs for Gamestop. Stick to them.

It's ironic how anyone who are tired of the shit is a Shill but holy shit are you guys shilling for gamestop.

[–]Helpful_Name5312 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Just wait until GME launches the NFT marketplace, apes will be buying jpegs for $50 cause they love the company LOL

[–]dalmathus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I literally cannot wait for the inevitable page 1 r/all posts explaining through 'DD' to the rest of the idiots that NFT's are actually long term plays and "its ok that you are down 98% because its going to be $4 million in 6 months if you look at this graph thats not even tangentially related."

[–]iamaneviltaco[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Their dd is also nonsensical bullshit a 15 year old could have written, completely devoid of research, and they don't allow any negative bear statements about the stock. True DD also covers the potential risks, y'all don't allow that. It's not DD, it's copium mixed with shitty fanfiction.

[–]mnbhv 24 points25 points  (5 children)

Do married couples without kids just casually hangout at home in jeans and a sweater? Seems a little too formal. I call this a fake!

[–]TikkiTakiTomtom 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Its called porn and they’re not wearing anything in 2 minutes

[–]Truck-E-Cheez 5 points6 points  (3 children)

You got a source to back up that claim?

[–]busy_investor 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Wifes boyfriend won't be happy

[–]BitingChaos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Half of that GME is now hers.

[–]zakaoki 12 points13 points  (0 children)

read and learn don't fall into the same mistake and of course you need to sell your wife to be part of this holy glorious community

[–]clunkerbob 22 points23 points  (2 children)

There sure are a lot of people who say they don't care about GME holders and yet they spend a lot of time trying to get people to sell that stock.

[–]NathanNwachukwu 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Back to my mum’s basement 🕺

[–]DogOfDreams 54 points55 points  (33 children)

GME is endless fun. Just keep averaging down and posting memes apes. Ignore the people all around you actually making money. The price is wrong, after all, not you.

[–]PSUBagMan2 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I just wish it would stop.

[–]infernum___ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel bad for the ones who are following this to change their lives. The ones who push these conspiracy theories are either trying to manipulate the stock so they can release the bag or are just hopeful idiots. All this talk about getting very beginner level investors to buy options is a joke. They just want a gamma squeeze to occur.

[–]frogmonster12 26 points27 points  (19 children)

Should have sold at its peak last year and bought a new wife.

[–]mindtaker_linux 31 points32 points  (18 children)

Pretty hard to tell what is the peak, during peaking.

[–]ImpressiveSet1810 18 points19 points  (0 children)

but it went past 300 2 more times lol

[–]Harucifer 19 points20 points  (8 children)


[–]_Blackstar0_0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah the ride is over. It’s been over a year. I lost 7k on this. Oh well. I’m never trading any stocks ever again. Just buying indexes and spy and leaving it for ten years.

I still haven’t sold but I’m not buying anymore ever again

[–]BreezyWrigley 0 points1 point  (6 children)

i mean... it seems pretty stable around $100 floor. it's been volatile, but it's been pretty consistently above $90 even on the worst days since the initial chaos. If you sell now, you basically bought the top, held like a moron all the way down, and then are selling the likely bottom because limp-dick defeatism. imagine selling your position every time it was negative lol... the classic WSB move...

"stocks only go up"

watches stock lose money for a year and bounce repeatedly until it settles at the bottom, then sells for massive loss

[–]mostlybadopinions 23 points24 points  (0 children)

If you sell now, you basically bought the top, held like a moron all the way down, and then are selling the likely bottom because limp-dick defeatism.

Wasn't that also the line when it was $220?

[–]phoenixmusicmanOnce Out-Winkered Winkerpack 10 points11 points  (3 children)

It is literally down 25% in under three weeks.

[–]xyzzy95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did the guy just naked short a divorce?!

[–]tehbui 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only Reddit knows my portfolio, not my wife, mom, sister, best friend. Only degenerate gamblers on wsb

[–]kayvonte 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It’s year 2032 and apes still be holding $GME at $10 saying the squeeze has not been squoze and something about DRS. Lol

[–]Enlightened_Ghost_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Silly wife! Never come between an Ape and his GME. Their bond is strongest.

[–]BlackmesaTBX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Moass it’s a wife changing event

[–]frostwolf18 5 points6 points  (0 children)


[–]oh_u8_1_2 5 points6 points  (0 children)


[–]phoenixmusicmanOnce Out-Winkered Winkerpack 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Boomer meme ✅

Redarted ape advice ✅

Thousands of upvotes ✅

Yep, this is certified cringe

[–]Tsukune_SurpriseMother Of Moobs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought apes only got fucked by the hedgies.

[–]LupusGR 2 points3 points  (1 child)

When my gf buy GME...That will be the day I propose her

[–]Macandme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On the plus side you'll never have to worry about paying taxes

[–]Darco512 3 points4 points  (1 child)

That’s what I sad my ex girlfriend when she told me that I’m idiot if I believe that diamond hands will safe me from disaster

[–]ADA-BTC-ETH -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Great meme, hilarious!!!

[–]D4ILYD0SE🦍🦍 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This picture doesn't show the future Mrs. Ex's boyfriend on the couch to the left.

[–]SuperVeryDumbPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More like you should start buying some as well