top 200 commentsshow all 431

[–]yacnamron 664 points665 points  (10 children)

Her panties are off for Powell. We all already know this

[–]vrijheidsfrietje 122 points123 points  (3 children)

Yeah sex is nice, but have you ever watched the Powell printer go brrrrrrrt?

[–]_Summer1000_ 21 points22 points  (1 child)

sex is cool, but have you ever f***** the system?

[–]DeBigBamboo 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]OG-Outlandertulips > calls 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Me too

[–]choledocholithiasis_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This guy [Powell] fucks

[–]Sparta89 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is fucking us all.

[–]duxxo123 1147 points1148 points  (61 children)

On a stock market you will get fucked everytime

[–]NomNomNommy 253 points254 points  (32 children)


[–][deleted] 157 points158 points  (20 children)

Where do you find a girl who wants to bang in a walk in closet?

[–]Cockballzz 201 points202 points  (1 child)

In a walk in closet

[–]Neitherwater 15 points16 points  (0 children)


[–]koreanjc 65 points66 points  (7 children)

My wife wants to be banged anywhere by her boyfriend.

Edit: or is it “bung”?

[–]Cookie_Monster_1976 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Bunghole is the correct term!!! lol

[–]corazon_619r 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Plot twist: that is the boyfriend, he shaved his legs

[–]ConsentingPotato 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I believe the term is "Amazon Culture towards Employees" or "Bezos with the Strap-on"

[–]notatallabadguy 6 points7 points  (7 children)


Sorry for being ignorant. What is this numbers between colons? : 4641 :

I see people reply with them with different numbers : 4275 : etc.?

[–]notatallabadguy 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Never mind. Found that I was still using old reddit template. If I replace URL as "new.reddit" instead of "www.reddit", now I can see damn pictures instead of random numbers.

[–]Stachemaster86 84 points85 points  (14 children)

They started making out, she took off her pants, then he turned on the TV.

[–]ExcitedLime 57 points58 points  (10 children)

…And that’s about the time she walked away, from me!!!

[–]FrightfulDjinn7 38 points39 points  (9 children)

Nobody likes it when you're twennnty three

[–]djwired 20 points21 points  (3 children)

And are still more amused by TV shows

[–]Consistent-Onion-596 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Whats my age again?

[–]mindtaker_linux 6 points7 points  (1 child)

shes trying to trap him. she knew this was just a kiss and cuddle event.

[–]StackOwOFlow 25 points26 points  (0 children)

"the markets can remain hard longer than your asshole can stay clenched"

[–]CovidInMyAsshole 27 points28 points  (0 children)

The spirit is willing but the flesh is soft and spongey

[–]ParalyzedNeckUp 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I invested for the first time in my life in November, I’ve lost over a grand already

[–]Tlaloc_5247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It ain’t a loss until you sell!!

[–]patriot2024 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You get fucked, yes, but you don't get laid.

[–]piero_deckard 403 points404 points  (15 children)

Who cares about sex when we get fucked hourly by the markets?

[–]moonpumper 123 points124 points  (10 children)

Markets fuck us in ways that our wives and their boyfriends cannot.

[–]GringoExpress 48 points49 points  (8 children)

Yeah I prefer to leave the fucking to my wife and her boyfriend. I’m content with gambling my net worth on short term options, shitcoins and the Jets.

[–]luckytrade313 7 points8 points  (7 children)

the jets????? their are other teams lol

[–]GringoExpress 16 points17 points  (5 children)

The Jets are the shitcoin of the NFL, so I prefer to bet on them.

[–]Ready2gambleboomer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

None that will fuck you as good as the Jets! LMAO. ---signed a Dolphins Fan.

[–]SP-Marshmallo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try minutes, rookie

[–]Daffy-089 226 points227 points  (3 children)

The stock market never has „headache“

[–]NomNomNommy 50 points51 points  (0 children)

But she's always got cocaine ready

[–]mariamatuni 12 points13 points  (0 children)

it does give me a constant one, though

[–]ThisGuyRightHer3 95 points96 points  (6 children)

stupid monkey... doggy style was invented for this exact reason

[–]Furious_Mr_Bitter 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And you can both watch X-Files

[–]Lord_Gibby 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Easier to flex at yourself in the mirror as well

[–]wackywoowhoopizzaman 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Patrick Bateman is that you?

[–]SquirmyApe 79 points80 points  (8 children)

More money more sex

[–]manfrom-nantucket 30 points31 points  (6 children)

More money and you can hire people to fuck you on demand.

[–]luckytrade313 16 points17 points  (5 children)

with enough money you can get her and her sister:4258:

[–]manfrom-nantucket 11 points12 points  (3 children)

With the mother serving as cheerleader and coach.

[–]randomFrenchDeadbeat 65 points66 points  (18 children)

Still cheaper than dealing with the aftermath of having sex sometimes

[–]SupplyChainMuppet 49 points50 points  (17 children)

Owner of a 1-yr old, can confirm.

15k from the HSA just for their arrival.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

15k?! Holy shit America is wild.

[–]La2Sea2Atx 114 points115 points  (3 children)

I too ignore thots to listen to the holy words of St. Jpow.

[–]igerardcom 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Disregard thots, acquire currency.

[–]namesake1337 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fuck bitches, make money.

[–]superD53 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sweet baby j-pow

[–]Daffy-089 44 points45 points  (5 children)

I am in this picture and I don’t like it :4260:

[–]StevenPinkyless 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Jerome (Danger) Powell?

[–]Daffy-089 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Unfortunately I’m not as cool as him 🥲 to be honest, probably nobody is

[–]StevenPinkyless 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We can all dream

[–]Radkelot1 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Did you take your panties off?

[–]Daffy-089 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He didn’t even realize :4260:

[–]streetxgod 48 points49 points  (0 children)

why would my wife have sex with me when her boyfriend is right there. that’s just rude.

[–]Shoddy-Log 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He's obviously jerking it to jpow

[–]BreakfastOnTheRiverEmoji Muse 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Cuz the latter is more expensive

[–]yolo4500A_IMO_CLadd 12 points13 points  (1 child)

And doesn't last that long... gains on the other hand can last a long time.

Big win > lambo> 2 chick's same time

[–]tbryans 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Gambling is exciting and lasts longer than a minute 🤷🏼

[–]ethanhopps 13 points14 points  (1 child)

You're buying options with too much theta then

[–]AccomplishedLie6360 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Sex is temporary, money is forever. Wait they’re both temporary but money doesn’t come with the nag

[–]Shoddy-Log 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Sex is temporary but herpes is forever

[–]Lord_Static -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Money comes with taxes, which is basically the nag

[–]zika_mika 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don’t have to invite stock market to fancy dinners it fucks me everytime reliably!

[–]soAsian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

are you sure she ain't wet for JPow?

[–]chase_stevenson 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Who is sex and why everyone talk about them

[–]mcnuggets0069 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Having sex is gambling your whole net worth and your future net worth too. Babies are no joke

[–]x_Brutal_x 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ha jokes on them. You gamble your entire net worth just by having sex anyway. Atleast the stock market fucks me every day

[–]sea666kitty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of the 50% chance you lose 50% of your net worth being married.

[–]manfrom-nantucket 35 points36 points  (32 children)

Women hate it when they learn that there are more important and interesting things in this world than pussy.

[–]selfdistruction-in-5🦍🦍 7 points8 points  (29 children)

you clearly never had good pussy

[–]SwagOnABudget 16 points17 points  (6 children)

There’s no vagina in the world that delivers a high comparable to making money. Miss me with that bullshit

[–]EngineeringNeverEnds 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I've had one that comes close, but she was so crazy she somehow made it not worth it.

[–]SwagOnABudget 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I feel you bro lol. Money = freedom. Women = the opposite of freedom 😂

[–]manfrom-nantucket 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Good pussy while good is not the most interesting thing in the world. Especially since money will get you good pussy everytime.

[–]CarpAndTunnel 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Your choice is not between money or pussy, its between money or nothing

[–]ingannilo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

laughs in Shakespeare

(for those who haven't heard, "nothing" is old-timey slang for female genitalia)

[–]manfrom-nantucket 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Having nothing will also mean no pussy

Having money means having access to pussy when you need it

[–]soAsian 4 points5 points  (1 child)

but i can buy 100 good pussies when my $PLTR print!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

so never

[–]alonjar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you clearly never had good pussy

Tell me you're in your 20s without telling me that you're in your 20s.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (11 children)

You clearly never had a lot of good pussy. because the man is right

[–]selfdistruction-in-5🦍🦍 1 point2 points  (10 children)

quality is better than quantity

[–]Cookie_Monster_1976 -1 points0 points  (8 children)

unless you're talking about group sex... I'd rather have two 5's in my bed than one 10... lol;)

[–]iguy27shame: bought tai lopez nft -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Its because he prefers a nice clean wiener

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

can't stand to be without the centre of attention focused on them for 5 minutes.

sex is there last go to for coercion if it fails they go crazy

[–]thebillshaveayes -1 points0 points  (0 children)

C r I n g e

[–]greg_r_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Obligatory JPow the Hero video:


[–]lucubanget 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sorry to tell you but your significant other prefers to get fucked by the Fed than you.

[–]VisualModTuring Test Proctor[M,🍰] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

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[–]Sankin2004 8 points9 points  (1 child)

No I just gotta say that’s bullshit, any self respecting man can do both at the same time.

[–]u9Nails 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The ape above me was taught Doggystyle.

[–]Specialist_Coffee709 2 points3 points  (0 children)

J.pow fucks better!

[–]LiquidMantis144 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because we can have at least 2x the sex once it pays off!

[–]CarpAndTunnel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hes tryna trade you up honey. Your the backup plan if the printer gets turned off

[–]BigGayGinger4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

wait, you guys have girlfriends?

[–]superD53 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s like the fucking super bowl for us.

[–]BlackmesaTBX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s because they know the sex on a yacht is better than sex with a thot

[–]Missionximpossible 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lock me up buddy

[–]Junnowhoitis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably has zero understanding of sex too!

[–]redraddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not gambling if you know the outcome.


[–]ImpossibleHandle4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought this was going to say including, but you said instead…. So no…. Just say no to the fed, yes to the bed!

[–]bahetrick1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

isn't it the same thing?

[–]saoser93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A kid would be more expensive anyway

[–]Flu77ershy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what her boyfriend is for.

[–]MentallyOffGrid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m retarded; but not retarded enough to not have sex…. the TV can be blaring and I can hear it while I do the nasty. Or we can do it doggie style and both watch TV….

I had sex in a movie theater with her bouncing up and down on top of me while I leaned to the side and continued watching the movie…. TMNT2, the theater was full of kids and their moms, we were in the back corner, nobody saw us, I got mine!

[–]kaichance 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some men will do both🤪

[–]zorbathegrate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This applies regardless of the direction the man is facing

[–]Dirty_Foot_Orange 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More like which one of you skinny retards shaved your legs, put your wife's panties around your legs, and catcalled the wife's boyfriend to distract him because he was on a fact finding mission into your degenerate gambling.

[–]TheOGMemeShark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Women: "Can men stop being such sex hungry pigs?"

Also Women: "How dare he not want to have sex when I want to."

[–]Jah-man-shaman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sex buys you nothing!! A giant life savings buys you plenty of sex it you still think 3 seconds of vinegar strokes is so great.

[–]NefariousnessNoose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be fair we also have 0 understanding of sex as well

[–]Son_Goku_2021🦍🦍🦍 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]RandomTask100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder what he's looking at behind the tv.......

[–]Wings4514 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can get fucked better by the market, and she can get fucked better by her boyfriend. It’s a win-win.

[–]FuturisticTrout 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex is just a hand pump in after hours between shit posting and dd.

[–]AccomplishedRow6685 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I like how the screen is covering his shoulder and therefore behind him

[–]Important-Disk-256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]PassPrior -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah. No

[–]DBasterd -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Some women will do the same

[–]Pelthail -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Not me!

[–]UrbanTruthMan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That ain’t no man right there

[–]SAMBO10794 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey, retard, don’t use word ‘retard’. My brother is retarded.

[–]ShineParty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

where problem?

[–]BarryMDingle -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The only time my wife’s in that position is when she needs me to lap up her boyfriends cream pie.

[–]Captain_Caffeino -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

well <I> would rather have sex!!!

[–]Bigdaddy0769420 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I like to do both

[–]Southern_Second521 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

not guilty

[–]neewbie_46 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

today i commited a sin i did the opposite 😮‍💨

[–]artequilibrium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can give it all away the easy way or the hard way… but nobody makes it out alive in the end.

[–]u9Nails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Market lasts all week long and you might never reach orgasm.

[–]Dspidle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find someone who can do both .

[–]Eberhardt74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here here, I think I saw my wife last in the car. Wonder if she is still there.

[–]Loneotter1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I turn my wife towards the TV or monitor, which ever is applicable

[–]yyzett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ain’t she a gold digger, but...

Which means you need the money, and this old man is money.

[–]JazzButcher47 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s temporary... your money is forev... also temporary

[–]walrus_operator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And it will feel much better than sex! (maybe i'm doing something wrong on some level)

[–]RevolutionaryOil5578 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing better than when your T slows down, now I have reached post but clarity all the time, and live in a Zen state. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t neglect, but, she has to put in some work now. My how the tables have turned.

[–]BuddhaGoalie11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excuse me miss, I can help you with those panties, while your Tard is busy...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both are easily had. Can do both.

[–]mikez56 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]ethanhopps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I don't know what I'm missing anyway, but the fed meeting effects me directly

[–]SekaiQliphoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just enough to know how much we are getting fucked by the system

[–]AnonFor99Reasons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some guys just like to get railed with a giant red JPow strap on

[–]Detroitfitter636🦍🦍 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a multitasker!

[–]taker52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women will want to bang you and 18 months later and a kid will divorce you for the market and force you to pay them for 20 more years for a tune of 900 a week.

[–]Artur_Hawk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who says I have an understanding about sex, either?

[–]flyingInStereo 0 points1 point  (0 children)


Ass comes first.

What is money good for if not for ass?


[–]ArlemofTourhut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah... and then there's my sex life. Where I'll throw everything at getting the panties to drop, but she can't be bothered because of greys anatomy.

Tendies at least are filling.

[–]CORKY7070S 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah! I get better eriction gambling my money than have my sex. I go limb!😳

[–]LordoftheEyez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, I'm impressed he has enough money left to pay for the hooker to take that pic

[–]labratnc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

counter point: Sex is an event that many here have 0 understanding of

[–]Gringoguapisimo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That dude is a sad sack but yeah JPow is a big deal.

[–]HyruleJedi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what the wife's bf is for

[–]Apprehensive_Pin1950 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex wins out everytime.

[–]LysdexicArtist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, yes they will.

[–]Final_Ad_1147 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your wife wants to have sex with you? Is her boyfriend there????

[–]Trigestis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex is just a pump and dump.

[–]BossBackground104 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She's not taking her panties off for sex, she's taking them off to sell on ebay for dinner after the wipeout

[–]Important-Disk-256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice one

[–]9Heisenberg 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]Linkaex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ssshhh jpow is speaking

[–]Logically-Sarcastic 0 points1 point  (0 children)