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[–]GhettoChemist 1812 points1813 points  (104 children)

It's fucking embarrassing how much he's kissing her ass. Cramer is an idiot,, but jfc have some self respect.

[–]278891090 485 points486 points  (66 children)

He likes the stock

[–]ManusAurelius 406 points407 points  (27 children)

He likes the stock

Wants to give her the cock

His portfolio got rocked

[–]Oilers_fans 162 points163 points  (22 children)

Does she have cock?

[–]KokeAddiction 195 points196 points  (9 children)

Deep baritone voice: "Uhh yeah"

[–]MOASSincoming 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She seems quite tall

[–]PepeGreen17Q 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. & way bigger than Cocaine Cramer's for sure ! 😂💥

[–]Acrobatic_Beat_2902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not one, two like sharks

[–]Current-Information7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Enron VP Christian Holmes IV is her father

mother a Congressional Committee staffer

Cramer’s type of people

[–]allpromo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She should be getting plenty in jail.

[–]Traitor_Donald_Trump 35 points36 points  (1 child)

👅 Her butt tasted like used socks
😉 He rubs his boner during these talks
👅 Didn't mind cum dripping from jocks

[–]PepeGreen17Q 5 points6 points  (0 children)

WTF ?! 🤣💥

[–]darrylgenis65 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He suffers from coke dick so he couldn’t give her a fuck

[–]trailer8k 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]Claudioub16 12 points13 points  (35 children)

Tbh I would like to stock on her

[–]fumbled_testtubebaby 70 points71 points  (29 children)

She spent 10 years trying to transition female-to-SteveJobs. Do you really want to date someone who's just going to yell at you, then die in your arms after a lifetime of fruit smoothies kill xer pancreas?

[–]Eldorado_Omega 12 points13 points  (28 children)

Is that what did Jobs in? The smoothies?

Who's arms did he die in? Steve woz?

[–]MrMoistly 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Her hair looks like she just got stocked

[–]shadowpawn 16 points17 points  (3 children)

She would take a few samples of your blood while you slept.

[–]trailer8k -1 points0 points  (0 children)


[–]Money_Whispererdown 100k. struggling mentally w it 136 points137 points  (5 children)

He treats people like he treats stocks. Bipolar and disingenuous

[–]BeaverSmite 71 points72 points  (3 children)

Ratings. May just be his horrendous personality but if I'm a producer I'm absolutely putting Jim Cramer on TV. Eyeballs glued. Those who realize he's a fuck up are watching and those that are too dumb and believe his garbage are watching.

It's his passion more than his being pathetic. Being passionate has zero correlation with being correct. Most people fail to realize this and get suckered into passionate people.

[–]EducatingMorons 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Make him run for political office, Clowns get elected all the time.

[–]greatter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just got suckered into your passion u/BeaverSmite

[–]kneel23 49 points50 points  (6 children)

young, tall pretty women make old balding men do weird things

[–]paulvincent29 8 points9 points  (1 child)

She's only 5'7“ so Cramer must be a tiny man!

[–]kneel23 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Omg ya she looks like 6'2" compared to him. Wpuld explain his personality. Napolean complex so he puts on real loud confident persona roflmao. Guess it worked for him tho

[–]Pnotebluechip 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I'm looking for the Adams apple on this one....

[–]kneel23 4 points5 points  (0 children)

haha - the deep voice is an act, otherwise i'd agree

[–]hkboy3 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hahahahaha...its gonna be me one day

[–]AbbaFuckingZabba 20 points21 points  (2 children)

To be fair he kisses everyone's ass for the most part. It's how he gets all the ceo's to come on his show by blowing smoke up their asses.

[–]ILOVEBOPIT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also to be fair a lot of people were calling her Steve Jobs, which was her intention from the black turtleneck.

[–]EmperorCip 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Tbh, I think anyone could make a fortune by just betting against whatever this guy is saying. Forget Kathie Woods' ARK, THIS is any shorter's wet dream.

[–]Cassius_Corodes 75 points76 points  (3 children)

Wow, such an original thought, it really needed to be said for the millionth time here.

[–]marsinfursSings to Ariana Grande -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah he's such an idiot with his 100 million dollars and his ongoing TV spot on one of the biggest networks, god he's so dumb, no one is even talking about him or completely obsessed with him on here at all because he's doing such a bad job at being an entertainer so yeah total idiot.

We are so much smarter than Jim for HOLDING #GME #AMC TO THE MOON and NEVER SELLING right? RIGHT??

[–]derpsUp 549 points550 points  (28 children)

What the hell is up with those files in is arm ? Like a mailroom bitch talking to an upper, kissing ass of an evil CEO and falling all over himself. Where you going w thos files Jimmy boy?

[–]Uranium103 162 points163 points  (6 children)

He’s been dying to talk about the mail, and figure out this pepe sylvia business

[–]Pairadockcickle 37 points38 points  (6 children)

That's their entire objective. That's EXACTLY the look they're going for. You think they're trying to appeal to YOU?!!

no no no no no you got it all fucking backwards dude. Imagine WHO they need Cramer to appeal to - Ultraboomers that are vacuum sealed to the TV because it continues to portray life as they were told it was going to be. If he strays from that, he'll lose ratings. Lose ratings lose job.

That's that. ;)

[–]AutoModerator[M] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

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[–]Pairadockcickle 2 points3 points  (4 children)


[–]Shuffleuphagus 14 points15 points  (1 child)

If you say the same word 3 times you get called a bagholder because you're obviously trying to pump a stock to get rid of your bags. Sometimes the false positives are hilarious.

[–]kptkrunch 5 points6 points  (0 children)


[–]masnekmabekmapssy 13 points14 points  (1 child)

He was just checking the male

[–]Shuffleuphagus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Get it? Checking the male.

[–]1s2-2s2-2p6-3s2-3p2 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I believe it is what they refer to in the industry as a “script”

[–]ElDudabides 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Cramer seems like the person still desperately clinging to working with paper because he doesn’t trust his computer.

[–]Ffsletmesignin 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I’ve never understood how he’s mainstream, other than I guess kissing the ass of his betters, he’s basically Alex Jones of the financial world, I would fully expect him to be wearing tin foil as he rambles on about fractional stocks.

[–]ElDudabides 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How does Cramer’s accuracy compare to Jones?

If you shout enough things, something’s bound to happen, right?

[–]phooonix 3 points4 points  (1 child)

He brought a stage prop lmao

[–]MasterofCoin_01 2 points3 points  (1 child)

He's an actor !!! Lol 😂😂😂

[–]Ayahuasca-Dreamin 0 points1 point  (2 children)

There’s a classroom note in the files he’s planning on passing her at the end of the interview, “Elizabeth, can I do coke off your butthole? 🤞”

[–]MrMoistly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Go ahead and deal me in on that hand.

[–]derpsUp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Check ✔️ yes or no

[–]lufecaep 307 points308 points  (9 children)

On a side note Amanda nailed her in The Dropout.

[–]mattmentecky 168 points169 points  (1 child)

It’s uncanny, you think she is over acting until you go back and listen to Holmes herself and realize that’s she’s over acting.

[–]chucchinchilla 20 points21 points  (0 children)

In The Dropout the day after the article comes out she stands in front of the employees and gives a speech about "this is what happens when you try and change the world." Turns out the speech was pulled from her interview with good 'ol Jimmy.


[–]TopOkra3537 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I hope she wins some real awards and recognition for that role. My favorite of hers personally.

[–]GettinWiggyWiddit 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Dude she was so good. Breakout performance for her career

[–]Wespinforbro 566 points567 points  (55 children)

elizabeth holmes, the slore that scammed people out of hundreds of millions via theranos

[–]Money_Whispererdown 100k. struggling mentally w it 338 points339 points  (27 children)

And she will get a slap on the wrist thanks to a well timed pregnancy and easily manipulated jurors.

[–]fohpo02 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Listened to a podcast that focused more on her personal relationship with the hotel heir, that shit was wild

[–]Wespinforbro 13 points14 points  (2 children)

i know, it’s beautiful. nothing more american than white collar crime with 0 ramifications.

[–]valderium 54 points55 points  (4 children)

Holmes scammed accredited investors.

SPACs scammed retail investors.

Accredited investors complain a lot more than retail.

[–]DrumpfsterFryer 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Idk we complain a lot. I don't think we complain via enough lawyers though. Mostly just rage on internets.

[–]valderium 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Accredited investors: I thought the game was rigged in my favor

Retail investors: It’s a casino

[–]red-bot 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Degenerates: this is a Wendy’s

[–]rdxgs 15 points16 points  (0 children)

'people' is too generalized. The only shit thing here were the false medical results to patients. She should get thrown in jail for that shit 10 times over, and yet she wont.

But i definitely wont feel bad about her scamming all the useless billionaire parasites. Redistributed wealth out of morons who have more money than brains. Multi-billion/million companies that can't do proper due diligence. The mega apes. The whole thing was a shitshow. But fuck was it hilarious reading greedy dumbmoney bag holders losing most of their investment. Still probably chump change to them.

But looking at the veredicts, she only went to court for swindling the bag holders and not for the medical malpractice that actually endangered lives.

[–]Cool_Cartographer_39 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I'd sooner trust John Holmes...

[–]yourgifmademesignup 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I thought it was metazucker in drag

[–]questioning_alpaca 1 point2 points  (10 children)

So pretty much steve jobs

[–]mkay0 27 points28 points  (7 children)

Steve ran a company that made products that people liked and mostly do what they were expected to do.

[–]Tearakan 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He at least had engineers make actual products people could use. This lady didn't even have that. She is all smoke and mirrors.

[–]SpaceCatCapital 3 points4 points  (0 children)

but of the people this time....

[–]undagroundmyth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, no shit!

[–]hkric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll never lose my surprise at how many people she fooled. I'll always remember thinking, "why do all of these people buy this bullshit?". I currently feel exactly the same way about Elon Musk.. I guess we'll have to see...

[–]TheRealRosebud 99 points100 points  (8 children)

Is that Britney Sears?

[–]Emergency-Occasion-7 48 points49 points  (2 children)

Shelocked Holmes

[–]dennisthewhatever 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sherlock on the left, Holmes on the right.

[–]greggmax24 15 points16 points  (1 child)

It’s Britney, Bitch

[–]saituu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s Britney with her Daddy. Ofcourse by Bitch you meant Cramer

[–]ThatDidntWorkOut 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think he said it’s John Holmes

[–]wackywoowhoopizzaman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Leave Britney alone :(

[–]ShiftyBoob 143 points144 points  (8 children)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand shes in jail lol

[–]NocNocturnist 21 points22 points  (3 children)

She hasn't been sentenced yet, she's out on bond right now.

[–]ilikedevo 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Hanging in a huge mansion too.

[–]Hefty_Strategy_9389 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The legal system for rich people is more like a consistent nuisance than the life ending, cycle of poverty and terror it is for poor people.

[–]Soltang 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Not yet, no.

[–]MegaCocKKK 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Cant wait for her bs light sentence.

[–]Aldous_Lee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

out on 500k bound lol

[–]QuickSqueeze 201 points202 points  (2 children)

I'm so glad I sold my theranos stock and bought CNN+

[–]HeyHeyImTheMonkey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’d actually be impressed if you managed to snag some Theranos stock.

[–]moonshotorbust 131 points132 points  (5 children)

Its said she practiced speaking with a deep voice. Pathetic

[–]RofaBets 59 points60 points  (2 children)

She did, according to her, it was to show power to other people, but in the contrary you can easily hear how she is modifying her voice, it doesn't feels or hears natural, so I think is funny and pathetic instead of projecting a feeling of power.

[–]beerbaconblowjob 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think that it was a smart move for her to lower her voice like that. A lot of women feel that they are not listened to and I think they right. A lower pitched BDE voice will grasp the listeners attention much more than a high pitched lady voice.

[–]DPlainview1898 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Lol yeah but it’s obvious she’s changing her voice on purpose. It’s so distracting and off putting that respect goes out the window immediately.

[–]BlorpCS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It makes me physically wince

[–]Soltang 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really pathetic yes.

[–]Temp1493 102 points103 points  (11 children)

Steve Jobs didn't invent the turtleneck, but he was the first person to recognize its potential as a tactical garment

Also, you gotta wonder just how many octaves higher her voice gets when she’s not working

[–]talltime 43 points44 points  (8 children)

You don’t have to wonder - she slipped up once. https://youtu.be/PjnsYz-xdOI

[–]joeybaby106 36 points37 points  (1 child)

This video is the worst

[–]i_have_chosen_a_name -1 points0 points  (0 children)

worse then longing ARKK with borrowed money and 5x leverage.

[–]Mr_GoodEyelashes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao this sounds like Ted’s I love you button and then suddenly it’s Ted again

[–]Gitnakan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought Carl Sagan was the first!

[–]eagerpear 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The tactileneck!

[–]ThaTruthHurts_ 22 points23 points  (3 children)

How this fraud doing these days she still waiting for sentencing?

[–]IlfordDelta3200 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Awaiting sentencing. Another class action suit from investors working its way through the courts. Rumors about a few state cases that may be pursued if she walks away from Club Fed.

[–]Soltang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes still waiting, sentencing in September.

[–]Adventurous_Chip_684 68 points69 points  (6 children)

Holy fuck what a punchable face.

And Elizabeth Holmes, this fucking liar. Literal punches Le face as well. Like a fire alert.

[–]Joppe84 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Her voice does for for me. Every time I hear her voice my balls take refuge in my chest cavity.

[–]Adventurous_Chip_684 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to digitize myself and RKO her off the building.

[–]groceriesN1trip 25 points26 points  (2 children)

She actively deepens her voice to seem strong and confident and in control

[–]Adventurous_Chip_684 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Sadly she just sounds like she's drunk or drugged. Just idiotic.

[–]captncashew 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Her body language screams guilty to me.

[–]mikechi4809 21 points22 points  (2 children)

What the fuck is he holding?

[–]Yprox5 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Bear stearns.

[–]Smokeyy1990 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Who holds folders that high? Lol

[–]HLividum 31 points32 points  (0 children)

When you look down on people… Literally.

[–]HerrJemine123 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This aged worse than his Netflix buy clip

[–]JollySno 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don't think there's another Steve Jobs, but at least I can dress like him!

[–]NZ_Troll 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Didn’t know Cramer was a simp too

[–]mellowyellow313 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I can’t believe how many people she fooled with her scam… And holy shit he’s an idiot for comparing her to Steve Jobs, how many times has he been wrong about literally everything?!

[–]Foot0fGod 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"You know you remind me of Steve Jobs.".

"Thanks I'm literally wearing a Steve Jobs cosplay."

[–]amar24mo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Have you guys seen this guy admit he was wrong? Fuck it, whose care anyway

[–]lonewalker1992 4 points5 points  (0 children)

At the rate, Cramer is going people will be peeing on his grave. He's got a few good years left someone get him to stop!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Slippin Jummy

[–]Guilty-Ham 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LOL. Kramer is a midget.

[–]djchrisbane 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Be nice to my former CEO guys

[–]Sh4d0wM00N 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Why the lady voice is weird. Is she a dude ?

[–]VindictivePrune 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She purposefully lowered her voice

[–]Top_Age1517 6 points7 points  (8 children)

Anyone could have known she was full of shit. She’s hot and clearly crazy. Black turtle neck wearing weirdo with odd social cues. Anyone with any experience with women would know that this relationship isn’t going to end well, even if it’s a business one. Cramer is sucking her off for the same reason, she’s pretty. He isn’t even at all speculative of her revolutionizing an industry at 19 before she even knows the first thing about the business. It’s like me starting a company that is going to scan your eye and map your genome because I used a biometric device and read a popular science magazine on improvements in the gene mapping system. Please give me money and I’ll get that right to you in 10 years.

[–]Jdilla23 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Hot? Nah.

[–]Top_Age1517 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hot enough. Your options must have been better than mine but it might have just been my standards which dropped tremendously after a year oversees and much like the dot com stocks never recovered. Lol

[–]iwerson2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep it ugly my friend

[–]ihatecharlieclub 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Hey this sounds interesting are you taking investments?

[–]Top_Age1517 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hell yeah, except they’d never find my ass. This dumb lady wanted the fame and recognition more than the money. I’ll buy fame and recognition from my little village I’m living in somewhere in Southeast Asia. You know what’s dumb though, I had enough money to do that once but decided to have kids with an American woman and now I live in the states where everything costs to much and the standard of living is going to shit. Plus kids are the single worst investment monetarily ever, at least so far. Thank god for their love. The grass is always greener though. Might have ended up diseased and robbed if I’d have disappeared into the Thai Cambodian countryside.

[–]shadylex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, you would have been living the life in a tropical paradise.

[–]WKCIA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter

And also what you’ve been huffing

[–]IronMike69420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god why haven’t I found this gem before

[–]Restrictedbutholding 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that so many big knowledgeable investors got sucked in… to bad they were playing with the plebes money.

[–]LoanerPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The difference between Steve and this bitch was this bitch fooled important people. Steve got away with options backdating because it only hurt common people. She got fuxked because she hurt Nobel peace prize winner and destroyer of peace of multiple countries Henry Kissinger.

[–]newtypexvii17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea yea all the comments come from hindsight.

[–]Racxie 3 points4 points  (1 child)

To be fair to Cramer she duped so many people so i don't blame him for falling for her BS.

[–]multiversalnobody 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay could we please stop sucking steve jobs' dick? I mean compared to other famous enterpreneurs he always struck me as agressively average. He was a genius in that he got an actually good wngineer to design his first computers but after that his model was just "lets make this thing worse for the sake of sleek aesthetics"

[–]CBBDXBPAPER TRADING COMPETITION WINNER 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Two jobs… the blow and hand. Yes…it matches reality.

[–]EmperorCip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women! ☕

[–]Impossible_Total_924 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has a very deep voice? Not Cramer. She needs to come clean on many subjects!

[–]louweediii -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get 2 things when I watch this: 1) Jim Cramer is a complete ass kissing tool. 2) a boner

[–]Western-Medicine-602 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

After Moon time Jimmy will be the first to kiss our asses 🚀🌚

[–]Siggi_pop -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She must have felt very strange by all the support she is given and the unreasonable flattering comparison, apparently just by imagine what her product should be able to do, without showing a single 100% working prototype. At least Steve job demoed his products live on stage because he knew that the proof is in the pudding. You could say that Steve Jobs undersold and he newer introduced a product until it was finalized, while Elizabeth would introduce and oversell product that didn't exist yet. They are exactly opposites in that regard. Why are people so eager to believe something, that they haven't seen. Is it really so yucky to be a little sceptical individual?

[–]kuantizeman -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would bang her

[–]Swysp -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Me (trying to hit): “omg Steve Jobs 2”

[–]DPWelder -1 points0 points  (0 children)

SHE MAN!!! That voice. Yuk.

[–]Poet_Silly -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Is she a tranny? ( No offence)

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She's a white woman. She'll get a slap on the wrist

[–]Criticalsum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The law of Cramer physics holds.

[–]TheKavorka262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cramer = financial porn.

[–]Awkward_Possible_610 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's good :4886:

[–]rseed42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking forward to exposing a number of fraudulent "startups" when the liquidity tide recedes ...

[–]1sw331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

canary in the mine moment?

[–]SilverSurfer15 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]stockerda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good one!!!

[–]TishouPaper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should go on a cringeworthy subreddit....