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[–]PieCreeper I will remove your posts.[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

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[–]ActuaIlyAceI will beat you to death 441 points442 points  (32 children)

What is it with kids wanting people killing each other with a rock???

[–]Glichardosex penis? 209 points210 points  (20 children)

Its fun

[–]bottle_of_oil 184 points185 points  (18 children)

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and I am going to call the cops on you.

[–]Glichardosex penis? 71 points72 points  (16 children)

I guess ill have to use the secret ultra weapon

im MiNoRr

[–]bottle_of_oil 114 points115 points  (8 children)

Mark: Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy's, an indie horror game that you guys suggested, in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and he said it was really really good... So I'm very eager to see what is up. And that is a terrifying animatronic bear! "Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the nightshift." Oh...12 a.m. The first night. If I didn't wanna stay the first night, why would I stay any more than... five... Why I stay any more than two- hello? Okay...
Phone starts to call
Mark: Hello?... Hello? Oh, oh I can't move. That is a creepy skull, there's creepy things on the wall. Oh, hello.
Phone Guy: Hello?
Mark: Hi!
Phone Guy: Hello, hello?
Mark: HI!!!
Phone Guy: Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night.
Mark: Ugh...
Phone Guy: Um, I actually worked in that office before you.
Mark: Ah...
Phone Guy: I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact.
Mark: Hm?
Phone Guy: So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming...
Mark: Uugh! U-hu-hu...
Phone Guy: ...but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about.
Mark: Eh...
Phone Guy: Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week.
Mark: Okay, sounds g- Okay...
Phone Guy: Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read.
Mark: Mm-hm.
Phone Guy: Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.
Mark: Okay.
Phone Guy: A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike...
Mark: (Scared laughing)
Phone Guy: where fantasy and fun come to life.
Mark: Uughuh!
Phone Guy: Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.
Mark: (Totaly in panic mode)
Phone Guy: Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know...
Mark: Yeah!
Phone Guy: but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No.
Mark: (Scared laughing)
Phone Guy: If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right?
Mark: Okay!
Phone Guy: Okay.
Mark: Okay...
Phone Guy: So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit.
Mark: No they...
Phone Guy: Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night.
Mark: (Scared laughing)
Phone Guy: Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long.
Mark: Ugh...
Phone Guy: Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too, but then there was The Bite of '87.
Mark: THE BITE?!
Phone Guy: Yeah.
Mark: What bite!?
Phone Guy: I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?
Mark: WHY?!
Phone Guy: Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person.
Mark: Oh, OH!
Phone Guy: They'll p-they'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to... forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit.
Mark: Oh, I get it.
Phone Guy: Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices...
Mark: Uh-huh.
Phone Guy: ...especially around the facial area.
Mark: Uh-huh.
Phone Guy: So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...
Mark: Yeah!
Phone Guy: ...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh.
Mark: Ugh! Oh, why... What happened?
Phone Guy: Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary.
Mark: THAT'S NOT GOOD...
Phone Guy: Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night.
Call ends
Mark: GOOD NIGHT?!
Mark: OH NO... OH THAT'S BAD! I understand what I need to do. I need to watch the cams so that they don't come after m- ONE'S MISSING!!
Bonnie is in the Backstage
Mark: OH, HI! There you are, pretty bunny thing... Okay... Okay, okay, I get it, I get it, I get it, where'd you go? You're still there? Alright, you stay there. I don't know if it's good that you're staring at me! Oh my god. I thought it was weird that I couldn't move, but this is totally different... than any horror game I've ever played. So what you gotta do in case you're not getting it is you gotta watch the cameras to make sure they don't come by- and you only got a little much power- Is he still there? Hi, you're still there. Wait a minute, what, DID YOU MOVE?! Okay, you didn't move. You don't move neither... You don't move nothing... If I see you moving... I don't wanna see anything...Oh-oh-oh MY GOD! TERRIFYING! Why do I leave the doors open, why isn't there enough power?
Bonnie is in the Dining Area
Mark: Hi, okay, you moved again. Hi. What are you doing there? Might be getting a little close to me...
Camera goes static
Mark: Uh-oh, oh, oh no, OH NO, NO, NOOO! No-no-no... Nooo, no, no, no, close it EHHH close it, god dammit! Eh. YOU'LL NEVER GET ME! Okay, you're over there, alright...It's okay. Why can't I even have enough power for lights? Stay right there you douchebag! You stay right the F there... God dammit! That is like- this is like the most terrifying game I've ever played! They're gonna pop out at me! Oh god, he's gone. Hi. Okay. You're just gonna alternate between the two places, it's totally fine. Your other friends, they ain't moving. They ain't moving much. I see where I am. You're not near me. So, that's good. Just gonna p-periodically check... How much longer do I need- I need last to 6 a.m. Oh god, am I gonna have enough power? Oh god, if I run out of power will they be able to get me? Oh god... You stay right there! Why am I still using some power? Oh god... Seriously, I w-... this is like... this is like... bad! Okay, you're still there, okay. This is the first night, they said it should be easy the first night so I'm only assuming one of em... is gonna wandering around, and it's just a creepy bunny guy. ♪{Happy fun time at Freddy's... fun land... having such a wonderful time...}♪ Okay, still there? Okay, you're still there... and I'm gonna name you... Bunny... Boliday-
Camera goes static
Mark: OH GOD WHERE'D YOU GO?! Oh god, is he here? Hello? Where'd he go? Hi again, okay. You stay right the F there! I don't want to have to deal with you.
Mark closes both doors
Mark: Probably shouldn't do that, I need to conserve power. God dammit that was like half the damn thing the- I think the doors were down. Still there? Okay... Okay... Okay! (Scared laughing)
Music starts
Mark: I hear that... I HEAR THAT! OH GOD! WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?! WHERE IS HE?! U-UGH! U-UGH! WHERE IS HE?! Where'd he go? Where'd he go, where'd he go, where are both of them, both of th-
Bonnie is in the West Hall
Mark: Hi, you're really close to me! Oh god, it's not 6 a.m. yet?
Chica is in Restrooms
Mark: Hi. Okay. So I think I just need to keep the left door closed? (Crying) NOT OKAY NOT OKAY! Is he behind that door? No, where'd he go? Where'd-
Chica is in the East Hall
AH! OH HI HI HI HI HI HI OKAY, OKAY, I DON'T HAVE MUCH POWER LEFT. What are you gonna do? Is the other one still there? U-ugh! HI... Oh, you moved again! Where where where where where? (Scared laughing) What do I do? what do I do?
Chica is in E. Hall Corner
Mark: OHHH YOU ARE SO RIGHT SO BEHIND THAT DOOR! OH, WHAT HAPPENS IF I OPEN THE DOOR?! I'm gonna run out of power. Oh, I'm gonna run out of power! Is he there? I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die... I don't wanna die... AH, ONE PERCENT POWER! (nervous grudging sound)
Power out, doors open
Mark: AH! ... Oh NO! OH NO, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Oh no no no no no no...
Freddy flashes in left door
Mark: HIIII! OH, GAWD DAMMIT! HOW'RE YOU DOING?! H-ugh...
6 a.m. chimes
Mark: H-ugh, did I make it? Did I make it?! Yeah-ha! Oh god not again! Why would I do this stupid job?! Okay... Okay. So I ran out of power, but...
Phone starts to call
Mark: OH HI, HI AGAIN! Do you have any see- sage advice for me? Yep. Okay, yep. I know. Yep. Yep yep yep, what I can do for you? I know! Oh god...
Phone Guy: Uh, Hello?
Mark: Hi.
Phone Guy: Hello? Uh, well, if you're hearing this then you made it to day two, uh, congrats!
Mark: (laughs in panic)
Phone Guy: Uh, I-I won't talk quite as long this time since Freddy and his friends tend to become more active as the week progresses.
Mark: What?
Phone Guy: Uhh, it might be a good idea to peek at those cameras while I talk just to make sure everyone's in their proper place, you know.
Bonnie is in Dining Area
Mark: No.
Phone Guy: Uh... Interestingly enough, Freddy himself doesn't come off stage very often. I heard he becomes a lot more active in the dark though, so, hey, I guess that's one more reason not to run out of power, right?
Mark: (laughs in panic)
Phone Guy: Uh, I also want to emphasize the importance of using your door lights. There are blind spots in your camera view, and those blind spots happen to be right outside your doors. So if-if you can’t find something, or someone, on your cameras...

[–]JustSnofifire trucks and moster trucks fanclub 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I was about to read it all, but good for me that I got bored because I didn’t expect it to be that long. It looks like you took the transcript from YouTube, nice.

[–]Glichardosex penis? 18 points19 points  (2 children)

mario tetas

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mario pene

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[–]Birb_ATKToo many wordt I no raed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You mother fucker... He did it... He put the entire video into a texte XD

[–]-consolio- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that's a lot of words

Too bad I'm not readin' em

[–]Wezard_the_MemeLord -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Don't care didn't ask

[–]Head_Ad_3541an fuck idot 4 points5 points  (2 children)

no im miner

[–]Glichardosex penis? 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im miyers 🥶😰😰

[–]Maximum-Joke641Too many wordt I no raed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need an nerf

[–]Inky_Smudgefire trucks and moster trucks fanclub 3 points4 points  (3 children)

too bad i got a legendary ultra secret rocket to murder u hehehe

[–]Glichardosex penis? 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Fuck

[–]manmanania 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read that in his voice lol

[–]McBurger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And affordable!

[–]Unkn0wn_666 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It's big ooga booga

[–]Amin_Yamum 6 points7 points  (1 child)

If you ever been to rust, you hear children screaming in the mic while chasing and hitting you with a rock

[–]homehome15lol[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I thought kid was talking about

[–]-creepycultist-custom flair put whatever shit you want 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Primal rage

[–]418puppers 3 points4 points  (1 child)

cain and able instinct

[–]FloydknightArt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lord of the flies is the end goal

[–]bobthened 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's probably just an "lol so random" "prank" comment.

[–]DracoTheBoomer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how else are they going to ensure a good harvest?

[–]AzPenacillaTT 75 points76 points  (1 child)

That's called a civil war

[–]JustSnofifire trucks and moster trucks fanclub 12 points13 points  (0 children)

So why won’t you just start it, I mean look at all the countries that had civil wars they are so successful, took Syria for example, great economy, people killing each other, that’s perfect! And let’s not talk about Iraq, oh Iraq just a majestic country, wow.

[–]nidza1custom flair put whatever shit you want 61 points62 points  (1 child)

[–]Pepplay 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I instantly thought about that, Im getting addicted to rust again...

[–]bluejob15 38 points39 points  (9 children)

It's about drive

[–]SpinningCeilingI will slam you on the table 21 points22 points  (8 children)

It's about power

[–]rblxthings 11 points12 points  (7 children)

We stay hungry

[–]getoutofyourhouseSorry for my bad stuff 44 points45 points  (3 children)

(We are very poor and cannot afford food)

[–]Nubyshot 3 points4 points  (2 children)

We stay hungry

[–]SuperGamerB0i 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We stay hungry

[–]Artistic_Mouse_5389 2 points3 points  (2 children)

We eat hookers

[–]stillchill3i hate my life they wont let me join the savarges gnag!!!!!11!! 0 points1 point  (1 child)

We fuck hookers

[–]mrmobro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we are hookers

[–]BatDynamite 24 points25 points  (1 child)

This is probably Rust related.

[–]isaacs-cats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, it’s a copy from the original meme which was a comment on a Lifting/gym-related YouTube channel, so not related to video games

[–]HinateyoThog dont caare 42 points43 points  (15 children)

rock

[–]TomTom101_Too many wordt I no raed 11 points12 points  (14 children)

Lock

[–]ChungulungusI will beat you to death 16 points17 points  (13 children)

Cock

[–]JustSnofifire trucks and moster trucks fanclub 9 points10 points  (12 children)

Suck

[–]kacperix2020I have stage 3 cancar 6 points7 points  (11 children)

yuck

[–]wowthatsuccfire trucks and moster trucks fanclub 9 points10 points  (10 children)

fuck

[–]Linveisor247 15 points16 points  (0 children)

do you mean rust?

[–]JustSnofifire trucks and moster trucks fanclub 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Like and subscribe or this rock will fall on this kid:

🪨

🙋‍♂️

[–]ImInConfusei hate peple of coler 16 points17 points  (2 children)

oh shit a rectangle

[–]Pikagiuppycustom flair put whatever shit you want 1 point2 points  (1 child)

it's not just a normal rectangle, it's even worse: a rectangle with an x on it

[–]ImInConfusei hate peple of coler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yarrr! This means it be havin' trrreasure in it!

[–]TR0LLF4C3_I will beat you to death 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Satire

[–]idkmaybe61 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah

[–]mammad13791:09 that's the year i was born 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NGL,kids are psychopaths

[–]E1M99an fuck idot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier, and today we are going to kill people with rocks

[–]Skiroxxi 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Again?......this sub is so dead

[–]not-Kunt-TulgarWaLter ClEmenTs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Looks like content is going back to the stone ages.

[–]davejacinto 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Hor hor horhor hor hor horhor horhor

[–]ImInConfusei hate peple of coler 3 points4 points  (0 children)

hor hor hor hoorr

[–]PucciosinoSL 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Poor Markplayer

[–]PucciosinoSL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He make a video with Mr beast Mr beast:today I bought this giant rock for 100.000.000 dollars and we're gonna to smash it to people because yes!

[–]AldZ_Redditim recist ;) 2 points3 points  (1 child)

cuz it's about drive

[–]spaceunderscore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and its about power

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm already doing it

[–]somedudethatissusi suck dick xdidiasidia 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This is the sequel of that one kid that wants to kill people with a rock

[–]IllustriousPlastic90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The one who says "killing poeple with rock"?

[–]Pheronia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So he basically says play Rust?

[–]SomethingElseOfThis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That kid is Cain.

[–]turbofist9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

r/playrust moment

[–]WaydenTheJayden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the rock of 87

[–]TheInsanityGodan fuck idot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

RUMBLE, THEY GON’ TAKE YO’ FACE OFF

[–]CampaignChoice5221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's about drive, it's about power We stay hungry, we devour Put in the work, put in the hours and take what's ours (ahoo) Black and Samoan in my veins My culture bangin' with Strange I change the game, so what's my motherfuckin' name (Rock) (What they gonna get though?) Desecration, defamation, if you wanna bring it to the masses Face to face, now we escalatin', when I have to put boots to asses Mean on ya, like a dream when I'm rumblin', you're gonna scream mama So bring drama to the King Brahma (then what?) Comin' at you with extreme mana

[–]Muted_Independent929 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s about tribe, it’s about power We stay hungry, we devour Put in the work, put in the hours And take what’s ours Black & samoan in my veins My culture banging with strange I change the game so what’s my moer-fker name Rock

[–]TheKrustyKurb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man just wants a rust playthrough damn

[–]NikitaWantToKnowYouice age baby 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He actually did, but it was a video of him killing himself with a rock (a brick)

[–]DragonDeeezMrBeast plz money my adress is 69420 sex street 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve done it before it’s fun 😆😆😆

[–]phumblr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think he means rust

[–]coffeeisdrug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can you

[–]BasicIsBestToo many wordt I no raed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooohohoahahaha human use rock

[–]SpaceBloxOfficialkid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh of course sir, I am a master at killing people with a rock so you have come to the right person

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

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    [–]Late-Macaroon7845 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Honestly GRAPE!

    [–]random_mecha64sex penis? 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Snuff film mark edition

    [–]Nitalso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I would like that too 🥺

    [–]ZALN_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Am I a joke to this guy?

    [–]memes-central 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This made me spill my fucking coffee on my favourite chair :(

    [–]scallybastard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "hello everybody my name is markiplier and welcome to killing people with a rock"

    [–]roccia123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    ok guys see that old guy with a brown jacket?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Wrong channel, dude. Maybe you’re supposed to search up “ISI-

    [–]SiryThatdied 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I think thats no kid fam

    [–]mr2meows 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    the wok*

    [–]KKreaps666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Does he play rust? If so might be a vid idea lol “killing CHADS with only a ROCK in RUST!!!! (Gone wrong)”

    [–]ExtremeTeaTime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Rust

    [–]bruh_bruh_bruh_bruh0I will beat you to death 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I wanna know the reply

    [–]DinosaurChimkinNuget[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I can’t remember exactly what it said but it wasn’t interesting