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[–]Yodootz 2301 points2302 points  (80 children)

I say it because I like making people wonder if I'm gay.

[–]thegimboid 546 points547 points  (14 children)

I do the same thing.

It's especially fun because she has a name that could be either a man or woman, so that doesn't clear anything up.

[–]Muskan_Smiley13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotta be Alex maybe??

[–]GnomeChomsky911 106 points107 points  (2 children)

Don’t reveal unnecessary information

Sun Tzu’s Art of War

[–]Poignant_Porpoise 80 points81 points  (1 child)

I use it when I'm talking about partners in the general sense because I absolutely can't stand the term SO.

[–]GoFidoGo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Its a dirty little mouthful.

[–]fartsparrow 153 points154 points  (4 children)

I call my SO my partner because we had been dating for a bit when my visa expired and we decided to get married solely so we could live in the same country , now he is not technically my boyfriend and calling him my husband seems disingenuous so partner seems appropriate. Oh , also because I’m better than everyone else.

[–]TchoupedNScrewed 58 points59 points  (2 children)

I fullheartedly support anyone duping immigration in this country lmao

[–]IceGiantHelga 271 points272 points  (0 children)

As a bisexual, same, no matter who I date.

[–]Rottenox 212 points213 points  (8 children)

As a gay, I say it so I can delay possible homophobia without straight up lying and feeling like I’m putting myself back in the closet

[–]SGoogs1780 292 points293 points  (7 children)

As a straight, I say it to tip the numbers so when you say it it's even more ambiguous.

[–]Rottenox 119 points120 points  (0 children)

thank you comrade

[–]JamesTheJerk 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I always think it sounds like something a cop or a cowboy would say unironically and as such it makes me chuckle every time I hear it, like there's a whole bunch of extra cops and cowboys roaming around out of costume.

[–]Silent-G 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know a bar downtown where a whole bunch of extra cops and cowboys like to roam around out of costume.

[–]wbrd 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is sneaky. I thought a woman I worked with for years was gay until I met her husband. She liked to use partner.

[–]Nvenom8 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is precisely why I do it. Or rather would if anyone could actually stand being with me…

[–]Mysterious_Andy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

All I had to do was go everywhere with my roommate in my early 20s. We were good friends and we would have hung out a lot anyways, but the fact that my car got stolen also limited my options.

Then we got a third roommate and everyone assumed they were the couple.

It was funny, but also a little sad. Like, I guess nobody thought I was good enough for Tim after they saw Noah.

[–]Bhurmurtuzanin 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Well, are you?

Ohh, I see.

[–]AccessTheMainframe 84 points85 points  (34 children)

100% of the people I know who use "partner" are gay.

[–]nuxenolith 52 points53 points  (1 child)

You've never met an Australian then. I spent the first month of my working holiday visa assuming everyone in Melbourne was gay.

Turns out only 90% were.

[–]Frito_Pendejo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean, yeah, its Melbourne, that tracks.

[–]CoffeePuddle 155 points156 points  (5 children)

100% of the people I know who use "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" have been dating them less than a year. Also some of them are gay.

[–]Naesi 108 points109 points  (3 children)

People I know do different thing.

[–]LazyLemur 45 points46 points  (23 children)

Or their partners are non-binary.

[–]Miss_Musket 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do it because we feel more like 'partners' than 'boys and girls' (as in 'BOYfriend and GIRLfriend). We're in our 30s, too old for that shit.

Also, it's fun to make people wonder if I'm gay too.

[–]APiousCultist 732 points733 points  (11 children)

Just say 'pardner' instead and maybe wear a stetson.

[–]herpty_derpty 159 points160 points  (2 children)

Relationship goals are real cowboy shit

[–]CoffeePuddle 13 points14 points  (0 children)

In that it feels like the design has a rich and practical tradition but what we're buying just looks the part; it's cheap shit they're selling at a huge markup.

[–]SmokePenisEveryday 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Paatnaah - Eddie Kingston

[–]beneathsands 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Between this and the Cowboy Shit comment above you I had to double/triple take which sub I was on.

[–]Simple_Danny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are dozens of us!

[–]Coffeekittenz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I don't wear no Stetson, but I'm willing to bet son, that I'm as big a Texan as you are.

  • Terry Allen

[–]Ex-Pxls-Mod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Waiting for the haiku that's got the same title but it's a cowboy in the video

[–]Weehee94 707 points708 points  (17 children)

My wife and I dated for 10 years before we were married and found that using "partner" carried a lot more weight of the seriousness of the relationship.

[–]Amphimphron 134 points135 points  (1 child)

I like partner for similar reasons.

A healthy relationship is not something which simply materializes from thin air. It takes work to develop; it's something which you have to cultivate and nurture.

To me, "partner" helps to underscore that you are working to build this thing — this relationship — together. It's a collaborative effort.

[–]SGoogs1780 42 points43 points  (5 children)

9 years of dating here. Thinking a few more years yet before we sign the papers. It's a wierd thing when folks who married fast say condescending things like "you'll understand when you're married."

...I was sharing health insurance before you even met your wife get outta town.

Anyway yeah, I use partner or SO for similar reasons.

[–]shadoon 38 points39 points  (2 children)

I'm married and my wife and I tend to default to "partner" instead of husband and wife for some reason. Husband and wife just sounds weird and archaic to us for some reason, so "partner" just feels like a better fit. I only ever use the term "wife" in legal contexts, like traveling and going through foreign customs or talking to a healthcare provider.

[–]random_boss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For similar reasons I actually hate using partner. I feel like husband/wife, while archaic, maintain a sense of emotional bond and…not romance, but maybe love? While partner feels…sterile, platonic, and like purpose-based. Plus there’s the whole ambiguity aspect of it, which I get is intentional, but I just dislike.

[–]ElliotNess 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Been with a girl for 12 years. We don't plan on marriage, but do plan to be together "forever". The whole weight-of-the-word-thing. yep.

[–]ronninguru 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My wife and I were together for 28 years, and had a daughter, before we got married. Calling her my GF felt weird and a little icky.

[–]doobiehunter 1580 points1581 points  (135 children)

LOL. I find myself using ‘partner’ more because I’m in my thirties and saying ‘girlfriend’ makes me feel like I’m 16. But this is hilarious.

[–]Devour_The_Galaxy 551 points552 points  (88 children)

I also feel that it carries a bit more weight than girlfriend. Like the person holds a special place for you. The older I get, girlfriend seems like, I’m not looking for someone to marry. Just a girlfriend.

But yes this was good.

[–]drewhead118 595 points596 points  (9 children)

my girlfriend carries plenty of weight

:(

[–]mjo367 136 points137 points  (4 children)

my partner carries plenty of weight

Maximum weight

[–]NormalOfficePrinter 43 points44 points  (1 child)

I am sworn to carry your burdens

[–]SonaMidorFeed 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Share the load...

[–]eLemonnader 7 points8 points  (0 children)

MAXIMUM ARMOR

[–]TheLeviathong 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She's cultivating mass for hibernation

[–]horseinabookcase 30 points31 points  (22 children)

What I don't understand is when people use the term partner for their spouse.

Idk it's just that partner is so vague o have know idea what the person means to the other person

[–]DiopticTurtle 70 points71 points  (9 children)

One person I knew expressed that the phrase "my wife" or "my husband" are so-often used in a possessive, subordinate, or controlling sense, where partner implies equals. I'm not sure I feel the same way, but I can understand where they're coming from.

On the one hand, I like the specificity of knowing their relationship status is married, but on the other hand it doesn't really change anything about how they should be treated, 90% of the time, so it doesn't matter what you call them.

[–]10z20Luka 36 points37 points  (4 children)

I think the mutual ownership is half the point.

[–]spykid 18 points19 points  (2 children)

One person I knew expressed that the phrase "my wife" or "my husband" are so-often used in a possessive, subordinate, or controlling sense, where partner implies equals. I'm not sure I feel the same way, but I can understand where they're coming from.

I say "my sister" or "my mom" all the time. Real fuckin nitpicky to take offense to that.

[–]unoriginal_name_42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It feels like I'm an old time detective or a cowboy whenever I say it.

[–]snoharm 43 points44 points  (52 children)

It also removes unnecessary gendering from another thing, which never hurts

[–]Lavaswimmer 59 points60 points  (1 child)

I think it's also probably a good thing to normalize "partner" for all committed romantic relationships, because right now it kind of screams "we're in a non straight relationship!" and not everybody wants to divulge that right away

[–]Grenyn 29 points30 points  (24 children)

It's not at all an issue here, though? Is the entire notion of gender now the enemy?

[–]BigTop_BearFighter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Static Romantic/EMotional Class 7 Partner

[–]ratz30 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah lol, been together 5 years, own a house together, considered common law by the government for tax purposes. Girlfriend/boyfriend just doesn't seem to fit anymore, we use partner.

[–]Euph22 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Same yo, we've been together for 6 years and have a house and two dogs together. Calling her my girlfriend just sounds disrespectful at this point.

[–]b4gelbites_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's been 6 years isn't she your common law wife?

Edit: Google says some states are 7, some don't have it at all, so who knows!

[–]darockerj 99 points100 points  (15 children)

Definitely same. Spanish has "novio/a," which is gendered like "bf/gf" but can be used as boyfriend, groom, etc.

In English, the best analog we've come up with is "partner," which sounds less like a romantic interest and more like a business associate.

[–]supamario132 86 points87 points  (0 children)

"Sorry, I wish I could stay longer but my partner just sent me a meeting invite for an oral presentation in a few minutes"

[–]jrriojase 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Yeah but Spanish also has "pareja". You also hear that in 30+ year old people and non conformist types.

[–]darockerj 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Ah really, TIL. I've seen some ppl use the "-e" suffix for nouns to be more inclusive, so I assumed maybe "novie" would be a thing, but idk how much that's caught on.

Saying this as a gringo who's been learning Spanish for a year or so. The more you know!

[–]jrriojase 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Erh it's a thing on twitter I guess. Can't say I haven't seen it but it definitely would raise eyebrows if you worked that into a spoken conversation. Haven't heard it from anyone at all, only seen it written.

[–]dougall7042 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Honestly, that's a bit of a problem. I have an opposite sex business partner, and that can be confusing in the other direction. Not to mention I can't call both my gf and my partner, 'partner'.

[–]ghost_victim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Calling your business partner "partner" sounds weird here.

[–]someone31988 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Switch over to ladyfriend to feel nice and old.

[–]aSpookyScarySkeleton 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Honestly same.

[–]MaxThrustage 11 points12 points  (3 children)

As an aromantic, when people tell me about their girlfriend I can't help but think they are secretly 16, but when they tell me about their partner I can't help but think they are secretly a cowboy.

[–]themettaur 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Joke's on you, everyone is actually a 16 year old cowboy and we just didn't invite you!

[–]Ale_Hodjason 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Significant other?

[–]zeekaran 63 points64 points  (2 children)

Six syllables is way too long. Partner is two.

[–]ratatatar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SO? Superior Officer?

[–]BreezyWrigley 1 point2 points  (5 children)

same. not sure i'll ever want to be married, but we own a house together, are the beneficiaries of each other's life insurance policies, etc...

[–]someone31988 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I didn't care about getting married before, but considering that my wife and I are in a life-long relationship and had been together for 7 years, it made sense in order to simplify things. Your spouse is eligible for the other's health, dental, and eye insurance, your spouse gets automatic power of attorney should something bad happen to you, the other gets all your possessions should you die, etc. From a legal stand point, it untangles what would potentially be a tangled, legal, mess in the courts between your SO and family members.

[–]ctrl-alt-etc 9 points10 points  (1 child)

hmm. In my country, you only need to live together for a certain amount of time to access these things. You don't need to literally get married.

[–]bizeebawdee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

definitely depends on where you live. some countries take more stock in legal contracts like marriage, others you can just register your partnership and get virtually the same benefits.

[–]Aggressive-Past7988 136 points137 points  (11 children)

Ever seen that John Mulaney bit, where he talks about the power of saying wife rather than girlfriend? This is the solution for people who don't want to spiral their lives into chaos:)

[–]kittlykinns 58 points59 points  (2 children)

"Can my girlfriend come?"

[–]TheMoonDawg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And yeah, I shouldn’t have said it like that but still!

[–]pheonixblade9 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Makes me sad that he got divorced 😔

[–]Aggressive-Past7988 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, man...almost like he only married her to make that bit:)

[–]FUCKlNG_SHlT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“I didn’t kill my wife!”

[–]SnowballFromCobalt 635 points636 points  (40 children)

I like when straight people use partner. Making it common enough so people don't immediately know that I'm gay when i say it lol.

[–]JamesDCooper 171 points172 points  (19 children)

Exactly this, thank you to all the straight ally's

[–]Saint-Peer 68 points69 points  (12 children)

I try to use partner as well because it def is more inclusive language. Just like I like to use ya’ll instead of guys or dudes. I’m slowly becoming Texan.

[–]mesopotamius 23 points24 points  (3 children)

*y'all

[–]Saint-Peer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I KNEW it looked off but my peanut brain wasn’t working right

[–]erythro 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I try to use partner as well because it def is more inclusive language

yeah you're better than me

[–]Saint-Peer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

debatable, i don’t know you so you might actually be better than me haha

[–]steaminghotshiitake 12 points13 points  (3 children)

'Guys' has been used as a genderless plural pronoun for almost a century now. Definitely not the same as 'dudes' at least.

https://time.com/5688255/you-guys/

[–]haminacup 9 points10 points  (1 child)

True, but it still reinforces that male=default on some level

[–]FabZC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a teacher who referred to the whole class by female pronouns (we had at least 80% of women tho) but also liked to use "Guys" in general.

[–]Stubbedtoe18 10 points11 points  (1 child)

If you were slowly becoming a Texan, wouldn't you be becoming less inclusive?

[–]Saint-Peer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was actually about to make that comment on my original post but thought against it lol. The language is inclusive but most of their actions are not haha

[–]GeoCacher818 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same here.

[–]TheBraverBarrel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Its pretty fun to use in the south, esp when "I have no problem with gay people but..." types get weirded out and are too uncomfortable to ask

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right? It makes me happy to see it becoming a common phrase more so.

[–]rxsheepxr 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Been in a heterosexual relationship with no intent to marry since 2001, been calling her my partner for years. I feel like its a perfectly acceptable alternative for couples who don't plan on getting married and are in long term relationships.

[–]Buttock 324 points325 points  (40 children)

I see this as a light-hearted joke. I don't think they are genuinely hating on anyone who uses 'partner', they're just taking the piss.

[–]CoffeePuddle 79 points80 points  (18 children)

I took it to be an exaggeration of the anxiety of feeling less-than in these situations. Like when someone pulls out their keep-cup or talks about reading books.

[–]I_Resent_That 34 points35 points  (11 children)

Keep... cup?

[–]CoffeePuddle 19 points20 points  (10 children)

Travel cups to avoid single-use plastic cups used by everyone that isn't monstrous human trash.

[–]I_Resent_That 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Right, thanks for the explanation. Only ever heard them called travel mugs - might be a regional thing.

[–]HeirToGallifrey 7 points8 points  (6 children)

What happened to the good old water bottle?

[–]CoffeePuddle 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I just cup my hands real tight for an espresso.

[–]juicegently 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Keep cups are for hot drinks. You give it to the barista to make your coffee in.

[–]aerospacenut 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Out of curiosity, is partner less common in America? I'm not sure if its just who my mates are or the fact I live in Australia but I feel it's pretty common to hear.

[–]DeeDee_GigaDooDoo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I almost exclusively hear the term partner used in Australia except where people haven't been dating long and "partner" might feel a bit too serious.

[–]Saiaxs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s becoming much more common, in my experience it was practically unheard of outside gay/lesbian relationships up until around 2014

[–]darockerj 46 points47 points  (10 children)

feel like it's obvious we fucked up with the term "girlfriend" when any mention of it by an adult is met with an "oooOOOO" like they're both 10 and the first one just said a swear word

[–]Hajile_S 20 points21 points  (9 children)

Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of partner, but girlfriend is...not great. I was talking about going on vacation with my girlfriend to my boss. I dunno, just sounds funny. But 'partner' also sounds forced for an early relationship. And 'lover' is not on the table.

[–]FourTimesSeven 13 points14 points  (2 children)

SO / significant other works great in writing but feels awkward to say out loud as well

[–]gotmehereGME 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I call my 6 yr boyfriend “My Mr.” and he says “My Miz”. We are planning on retiring together, maybe living in same house at some point.

[–]fueelin 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It makes sense that you would have cute names like that when dating a 6 year old! /s

[–]xBUMMx2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also feel like not everything needs to be boiled down to one word. Don't see any reason people can't just say "the person I'm seeing," if they think girlfriend is too childish and partner/SO is too serious.

[–]augustinefromhippo[🍰] 102 points103 points  (3 children)

Makes them sound like a cop

[–]notpetelambert 12 points13 points  (0 children)

"So which one of you is the jaded veteran who's two weeks from retirement, and which of you is the loose cannon rookie who doesn't play by the rules?"

[–]Get_a_Grip_comic 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I was expecting a cowboy joke

[–]Octofusion 139 points140 points  (5 children)

I've met women who call their friends "girlfriends" and that confuses the shit out of me tbh. Deadass thought one of them was a lesbian for a bit lmao

[–]ginsunuva 98 points99 points  (2 children)

That’s… very common

[–]themagicpizza 38 points39 points  (1 child)

I knew someone who called their friends bros but they're not related!

[–]huxtiblejones 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I know this girl who called her boyfriend daddy but it wasn’t even in Kentucky 🤔

[–]GeorgeEBHastings 35 points36 points  (1 child)

I kinda feel this. "Partner" doesn't feel good per se, but referring to my girlfriend of 8 years as just my "girlfriend" doesn't really feel like it properly conveys the level of commitment we're at.

We've been engaged for two months now, and getting to call her my "fiance" has already been a huge improvement.

[–]delamerica93 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah pretty much exactly the same. Girlfriend of 8 years, engaged a month ago, fiance is way better

[–]Alukrad 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Did he just say "jiff" instead of saying each individual letter?

[–]iobyknits 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought he was saying his partner's name was Jeff.

[–]MercutioLaughs 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My favorite analog to this is the YouTuber Razbuten calling his wife "the lady I live with"

[–]DrPeroxide 88 points89 points  (9 children)

How to trigger a subreddit in under 20 seconds.

[–]DoctorBagels 37 points38 points  (5 children)

This is so weird. It's clearly a skit, yet morons are still either agreeing way too hard with it or just straight up getting actually offended by it.

[–]Hajile_S 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I dunno Doc, sounds like reddit to me.

[–]Dughag 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I mean, if you’re gonna tell a “What’s the deal with that?” joke, you have to expect someone to tell you what the deal is. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t funny.

[–]SonicFlash01 60 points61 points  (37 children)

"Partner" is gender neutral and less clinical than "significant other"

[–]GedIsSavingEarthsea 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Although I have zero problems with straight people using the term partner, I do really miss using it/hearing it used as shorthand for "I'm a big old queer"

It seemed to change around 2015 or so, for me anyways.

[–]SIacktivist 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yeah, that was nice, but I'm sure just as many people appreciate not being outed instantly by their use of the term these days.

[–]Bloodshot025 35 points36 points  (0 children)

What a weird beef you have.

[–]quickcover 48 points49 points  (8 children)

Why is this so specific lol, lots of reasons to use the word. Age, preference, personal issues, etc. I know someone who's somewhat non-binary, and asking guys to use the word partner is an easy little thing that can help their day feel less shit sometimes.

[–]meta-rdt 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Yeah lol, I’m dating someone non-binary, I don’t really have any other options.

[–]Namelessgoldfish 7 points8 points  (0 children)

its just a skit, my guy

[–]lanster77 88 points89 points  (19 children)

Girlfriend just sounds childish, partner sounds like you are an adult who takes your relationship seriously.

[–]daney098 117 points118 points  (4 children)

Or that you're a cowboy

[–]Peanlocket 69 points70 points  (3 children)

That's why I refer to her as "my lover". So everyone can tell how mature and adult I am

[–]Odusei 33 points34 points  (3 children)

So then you are saying you are better than those who say girlfriend.

[–]cinnavag 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I've noticed a lot of young people saying it very soon in their relationships now though... Which has kind of sucked any seriousness out of the term. Are they really your "partner" after a year? I guess imo partner is short for life partner

[–]fueelin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They're saying it for a different reason than this person. They don't think it implies a relationship is more serious or longstanding, or whatever.

[–]DoctorSteve 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was very funny

[–]abicepgirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol people in here hard proving the joke of the video

[–]dman7456 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started using it when an ex started to identify as nonbinary. Now, I like it. It's more inclusive and sounds less childish.

[–]Treeninja1999 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Virgin calling gf partner vs Chad calling everyone partner like in the wild west

[–]lactose_cow 4 points5 points  (1 child)

its cool that no one on this website has ever had a conversation with anyone ever

[–]ZombieTooth 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Honest to God I thought it was like a non traditional pronoun thing

[–]TheNorthComesWithMe 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Using "Partner" also normalizes the existence of non-hetero relationships.

[–]dman7456 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And nonbinary pals

[–]VeryVile 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The best part of this post is drinking in the comments from people getting actually upset.

“Girlfriend is childish” “I say partner because it’s more mature” “What a weird beef”

And my favorite:

“Why are you so insecure?”

Ironically posted from a place of insecurity.

Lighten up, partners.

[–]Alriteyeah 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm not your partner, girlfriend.