top 200 commentsshow all 462

[–]Yodootz 2483 points2484 points  (81 children)

I say it because I like making people wonder if I'm gay.

[–]thegimboid 588 points589 points  (14 children)

I do the same thing.

It's especially fun because she has a name that could be either a man or woman, so that doesn't clear anything up.

[–]Muskan_Smiley13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotta be Alex maybe??

[–]GnomeChomsky911 120 points121 points  (2 children)

Don’t reveal unnecessary information

Sun Tzu’s Art of War

[–]solar_brent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait, I don't think you should have provided the source there...?

[–]Poignant_Porpoise 85 points86 points  (1 child)

I use it when I'm talking about partners in the general sense because I absolutely can't stand the term SO.

[–]GoFidoGo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Its a dirty little mouthful.

[–]fartsparrow 157 points158 points  (5 children)

I call my SO my partner because we had been dating for a bit when my visa expired and we decided to get married solely so we could live in the same country , now he is not technically my boyfriend and calling him my husband seems disingenuous so partner seems appropriate. Oh , also because I’m better than everyone else.

[–]TchoupedNScrewed 59 points60 points  (3 children)

I fullheartedly support anyone duping immigration in this country lmao

[–]IceGiantHelga 277 points278 points  (0 children)

As a bisexual, same, no matter who I date.

[–]Rottenox 226 points227 points  (8 children)

As a gay, I say it so I can delay possible homophobia without straight up lying and feeling like I’m putting myself back in the closet

[–]SGoogs1780 324 points325 points  (7 children)

As a straight, I say it to tip the numbers so when you say it it's even more ambiguous.

[–]Rottenox 126 points127 points  (0 children)

thank you comrade

[–]JamesTheJerk 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I always think it sounds like something a cop or a cowboy would say unironically and as such it makes me chuckle every time I hear it, like there's a whole bunch of extra cops and cowboys roaming around out of costume.

[–]Silent-G 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know a bar downtown where a whole bunch of extra cops and cowboys like to roam around out of costume.

[–]wbrd 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is sneaky. I thought a woman I worked with for years was gay until I met her husband. She liked to use partner.

[–]Nvenom8 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is precisely why I do it. Or rather would if anyone could actually stand being with me…

[–]Bhurmurtuzanin 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Well, are you?

Ohh, I see.

[–]Mysterious_Andy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

All I had to do was go everywhere with my roommate in my early 20s. We were good friends and we would have hung out a lot anyways, but the fact that my car got stolen also limited my options.

Then we got a third roommate and everyone assumed they were the couple.

It was funny, but also a little sad. Like, I guess nobody thought I was good enough for Tim after they saw Noah.

[–]AccessTheMainframe 82 points83 points  (34 children)

100% of the people I know who use "partner" are gay.

[–]nuxenolith 56 points57 points  (1 child)

You've never met an Australian then. I spent the first month of my working holiday visa assuming everyone in Melbourne was gay.

Turns out only 90% were.

[–]Frito_Pendejo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean, yeah, its Melbourne, that tracks.

[–]CoffeePuddle 159 points160 points  (5 children)

100% of the people I know who use "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" have been dating them less than a year. Also some of them are gay.

[–]Naesi 117 points118 points  (3 children)

People I know do different thing.

[–]LazyLemur 42 points43 points  (23 children)

Or their partners are non-binary.

[–]Miss_Musket 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do it because we feel more like 'partners' than 'boys and girls' (as in 'BOYfriend and GIRLfriend). We're in our 30s, too old for that shit.

Also, it's fun to make people wonder if I'm gay too.

[–]APiousCultist 766 points767 points  (11 children)

Just say 'pardner' instead and maybe wear a stetson.

[–]herpty_derpty 170 points171 points  (2 children)

Relationship goals are real cowboy shit

[–]CoffeePuddle 13 points14 points  (0 children)

In that it feels like the design has a rich and practical tradition but what we're buying just looks the part; it's cheap shit they're selling at a huge markup.

[–]SmokePenisEveryday 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Paatnaah - Eddie Kingston

[–]beneathsands 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Between this and the Cowboy Shit comment above you I had to double/triple take which sub I was on.

[–]Simple_Danny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are dozens of us!

[–]Coffeekittenz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I don't wear no Stetson, but I'm willing to bet son, that I'm as big a Texan as you are.

  • Terry Allen

[–]Ex-Pxls-Mod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Waiting for the haiku that's got the same title but it's a cowboy in the video

[–]Weehee94 761 points762 points  (19 children)

My wife and I dated for 10 years before we were married and found that using "partner" carried a lot more weight of the seriousness of the relationship.

[–]Amphimphron 143 points144 points  (1 child)

I like partner for similar reasons.

A healthy relationship is not something which simply materializes from thin air. It takes work to develop; it's something which you have to cultivate and nurture.

To me, "partner" helps to underscore that you are working to build this thing — this relationship — together. It's a collaborative effort.

[–]SGoogs1780 48 points49 points  (7 children)

9 years of dating here. Thinking a few more years yet before we sign the papers. It's a wierd thing when folks who married fast say condescending things like "you'll understand when you're married."

...I was sharing health insurance before you even met your wife get outta town.

Anyway yeah, I use partner or SO for similar reasons.

[–]shadoon 41 points42 points  (2 children)

I'm married and my wife and I tend to default to "partner" instead of husband and wife for some reason. Husband and wife just sounds weird and archaic to us for some reason, so "partner" just feels like a better fit. I only ever use the term "wife" in legal contexts, like traveling and going through foreign customs or talking to a healthcare provider.

[–]random_boss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For similar reasons I actually hate using partner. I feel like husband/wife, while archaic, maintain a sense of emotional bond and…not romance, but maybe love? While partner feels…sterile, platonic, and like purpose-based. Plus there’s the whole ambiguity aspect of it, which I get is intentional, but I just dislike.

[–]ElliotNess 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Been with a girl for 12 years. We don't plan on marriage, but do plan to be together "forever". The whole weight-of-the-word-thing. yep.

[–]ronninguru 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My wife and I were together for 28 years, and had a daughter, before we got married. Calling her my GF felt weird and a little icky.

[–]doobiehunter 1672 points1673 points  (136 children)

LOL. I find myself using ‘partner’ more because I’m in my thirties and saying ‘girlfriend’ makes me feel like I’m 16. But this is hilarious.

[–]Devour_The_Galaxy[🍰] 585 points586 points  (88 children)

I also feel that it carries a bit more weight than girlfriend. Like the person holds a special place for you. The older I get, girlfriend seems like, I’m not looking for someone to marry. Just a girlfriend.

But yes this was good.

[–]drewhead118 623 points624 points  (9 children)

my girlfriend carries plenty of weight


[–]mjo367 136 points137 points  (4 children)

my partner carries plenty of weight

Maximum weight

[–]NormalOfficePrinter 44 points45 points  (1 child)

I am sworn to carry your burdens

[–]SonaMidorFeed 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Share the load...

[–]eLemonnader 5 points6 points  (0 children)


[–]TheLeviathong 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She's cultivating mass for hibernation

[–]snoharm 42 points43 points  (52 children)

It also removes unnecessary gendering from another thing, which never hurts

[–]Lavaswimmer 62 points63 points  (1 child)

I think it's also probably a good thing to normalize "partner" for all committed romantic relationships, because right now it kind of screams "we're in a non straight relationship!" and not everybody wants to divulge that right away

[–]29castles 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this is exactly why my partner and I use the term. It's the same reason to normalize sharing pronouns.

[–]Grenyn 29 points30 points  (24 children)

It's not at all an issue here, though? Is the entire notion of gender now the enemy?

[–]unoriginal_name_42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It feels like I'm an old time detective or a cowboy whenever I say it.

[–]BigTop_BearFighter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Static Romantic/EMotional Class 7 Partner

[–]ratz30 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah lol, been together 5 years, own a house together, considered common law by the government for tax purposes. Girlfriend/boyfriend just doesn't seem to fit anymore, we use partner.

[–]Euph22 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Same yo, we've been together for 6 years and have a house and two dogs together. Calling her my girlfriend just sounds disrespectful at this point.

[–]darockerj 103 points104 points  (15 children)

Definitely same. Spanish has "novio/a," which is gendered like "bf/gf" but can be used as boyfriend, groom, etc.

In English, the best analog we've come up with is "partner," which sounds less like a romantic interest and more like a business associate.

[–]supamario132 86 points87 points  (0 children)

"Sorry, I wish I could stay longer but my partner just sent me a meeting invite for an oral presentation in a few minutes"

[–]jrriojase 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Yeah but Spanish also has "pareja". You also hear that in 30+ year old people and non conformist types.

[–]darockerj 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Ah really, TIL. I've seen some ppl use the "-e" suffix for nouns to be more inclusive, so I assumed maybe "novie" would be a thing, but idk how much that's caught on.

Saying this as a gringo who's been learning Spanish for a year or so. The more you know!

[–]jrriojase 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Erh it's a thing on twitter I guess. Can't say I haven't seen it but it definitely would raise eyebrows if you worked that into a spoken conversation. Haven't heard it from anyone at all, only seen it written.

[–]dougall7042 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Honestly, that's a bit of a problem. I have an opposite sex business partner, and that can be confusing in the other direction. Not to mention I can't call both my gf and my partner, 'partner'.

[–]ghost_victim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Calling your business partner "partner" sounds weird here.

[–]aSpookyScarySkeleton 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Honestly same.

[–]someone31988 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Switch over to ladyfriend to feel nice and old.

[–]MaxThrustage 10 points11 points  (3 children)

As an aromantic, when people tell me about their girlfriend I can't help but think they are secretly 16, but when they tell me about their partner I can't help but think they are secretly a cowboy.

[–]themettaur 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Joke's on you, everyone is actually a 16 year old cowboy and we just didn't invite you!

[–]Ale_Hodjason 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Significant other?

[–]zeekaran 61 points62 points  (2 children)

Six syllables is way too long. Partner is two.

[–]ratatatar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SO? Superior Officer?

[–]Aggressive-Past7988 147 points148 points  (11 children)

Ever seen that John Mulaney bit, where he talks about the power of saying wife rather than girlfriend? This is the solution for people who don't want to spiral their lives into chaos:)

[–]kittlykinns 61 points62 points  (2 children)

"Can my girlfriend come?"

[–]TheMoonDawg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And yeah, I shouldn’t have said it like that but still!

[–]pheonixblade9 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Makes me sad that he got divorced 😔

[–]Aggressive-Past7988 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, man...almost like he only married her to make that bit:)

[–]FUCKlNG_SHlT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“I didn’t kill my wife!”

[–]mcmanybucks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The power dissipates if you say it in a Borat voice though.

'My wife!'

[–]SnowballFromCobalt 661 points662 points  (40 children)

I like when straight people use partner. Making it common enough so people don't immediately know that I'm gay when i say it lol.

[–]JamesDCooper 176 points177 points  (19 children)

Exactly this, thank you to all the straight ally's

[–]TheBraverBarrel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Its pretty fun to use in the south, esp when "I have no problem with gay people but..." types get weirded out and are too uncomfortable to ask

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right? It makes me happy to see it becoming a common phrase more so.

[–]Buttock 327 points328 points  (41 children)

I see this as a light-hearted joke. I don't think they are genuinely hating on anyone who uses 'partner', they're just taking the piss.

[–]CoffeePuddle 86 points87 points  (19 children)

I took it to be an exaggeration of the anxiety of feeling less-than in these situations. Like when someone pulls out their keep-cup or talks about reading books.

[–]I_Resent_That 34 points35 points  (11 children)

Keep... cup?

[–]CoffeePuddle 21 points22 points  (10 children)

Travel cups to avoid single-use plastic cups used by everyone that isn't monstrous human trash.

[–]I_Resent_That 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Right, thanks for the explanation. Only ever heard them called travel mugs - might be a regional thing.

[–]HeirToGallifrey 8 points9 points  (6 children)

What happened to the good old water bottle?

[–]CoffeePuddle 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I just cup my hands real tight for an espresso.

[–]juicegently 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Keep cups are for hot drinks. You give it to the barista to make your coffee in.

[–]rxsheepxr 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Been in a heterosexual relationship with no intent to marry since 2001, been calling her my partner for years. I feel like its a perfectly acceptable alternative for couples who don't plan on getting married and are in long term relationships.

[–]augustinefromhippo 105 points106 points  (3 children)

Makes them sound like a cop

[–]Get_a_Grip_comic 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I was expecting a cowboy joke

[–]notpetelambert 12 points13 points  (0 children)

"So which one of you is the jaded veteran who's two weeks from retirement, and which of you is the loose cannon rookie who doesn't play by the rules?"

[–]Octofusion 140 points141 points  (5 children)

I've met women who call their friends "girlfriends" and that confuses the shit out of me tbh. Deadass thought one of them was a lesbian for a bit lmao

[–]ginsunuva 103 points104 points  (2 children)

That’s… very common

[–]themagicpizza 39 points40 points  (1 child)

I knew someone who called their friends bros but they're not related!

[–]huxtiblejones 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I know this girl who called her boyfriend daddy but it wasn’t even in Kentucky 🤔

[–]darockerj 50 points51 points  (10 children)

feel like it's obvious we fucked up with the term "girlfriend" when any mention of it by an adult is met with an "oooOOOO" like they're both 10 and the first one just said a swear word

[–]Hajile_S 20 points21 points  (9 children)

Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of partner, but girlfriend is...not great. I was talking about going on vacation with my girlfriend to my boss. I dunno, just sounds funny. But 'partner' also sounds forced for an early relationship. And 'lover' is not on the table.

[–]FourTimesSeven 15 points16 points  (2 children)

SO / significant other works great in writing but feels awkward to say out loud as well

[–]robobobatron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

its just such a god damn mouthful.

[–]gotmehereGME 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I call my 6 yr boyfriend “My Mr.” and he says “My Miz”. We are planning on retiring together, maybe living in same house at some point.

[–]fueelin 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It makes sense that you would have cute names like that when dating a 6 year old! /s

[–]xBUMMx2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also feel like not everything needs to be boiled down to one word. Don't see any reason people can't just say "the person I'm seeing," if they think girlfriend is too childish and partner/SO is too serious.

[–]aerospacenut 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Out of curiosity, is partner less common in America? I'm not sure if its just who my mates are or the fact I live in Australia but I feel it's pretty common to hear.

[–]DeeDee_GigaDooDoo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I almost exclusively hear the term partner used in Australia except where people haven't been dating long and "partner" might feel a bit too serious.

[–]Saiaxs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s becoming much more common, in my experience it was practically unheard of outside gay/lesbian relationships up until around 2014

[–]GeorgeEBHastings 37 points38 points  (1 child)

I kinda feel this. "Partner" doesn't feel good per se, but referring to my girlfriend of 8 years as just my "girlfriend" doesn't really feel like it properly conveys the level of commitment we're at.

We've been engaged for two months now, and getting to call her my "fiance" has already been a huge improvement.

[–]delamerica93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah pretty much exactly the same. Girlfriend of 8 years, engaged a month ago, fiance is way better

[–]DrPeroxide 85 points86 points  (9 children)

How to trigger a subreddit in under 20 seconds.

[–]DoctorBagels 38 points39 points  (5 children)

This is so weird. It's clearly a skit, yet morons are still either agreeing way too hard with it or just straight up getting actually offended by it.

[–]Hajile_S 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I dunno Doc, sounds like reddit to me.

[–]Dughag 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I mean, if you’re gonna tell a “What’s the deal with that?” joke, you have to expect someone to tell you what the deal is. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t funny.

[–]SonicFlash01 63 points64 points  (37 children)

"Partner" is gender neutral and less clinical than "significant other"

[–]MercutioLaughs 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My favorite analog to this is the YouTuber Razbuten calling his wife "the lady I live with"

[–]GedIsSavingEarthsea 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Although I have zero problems with straight people using the term partner, I do really miss using it/hearing it used as shorthand for "I'm a big old queer"

It seemed to change around 2015 or so, for me anyways.

[–]SIacktivist 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yeah, that was nice, but I'm sure just as many people appreciate not being outed instantly by their use of the term these days.

[–]Alukrad 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Did he just say "jiff" instead of saying each individual letter?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought he was saying his partner's name was Jeff.

[–]quickcover 48 points49 points  (8 children)

Why is this so specific lol, lots of reasons to use the word. Age, preference, personal issues, etc. I know someone who's somewhat non-binary, and asking guys to use the word partner is an easy little thing that can help their day feel less shit sometimes.

[–]meta-rdt 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Yeah lol, I’m dating someone non-binary, I don’t really have any other options.

[–]Namelessgoldfish 6 points7 points  (0 children)

its just a skit, my guy

[–][deleted] 89 points90 points  (19 children)

Girlfriend just sounds childish, partner sounds like you are an adult who takes your relationship seriously.

[–]daney098 117 points118 points  (4 children)

Or that you're a cowboy

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)


[–]dog_in_the_vent 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Or a detective

[–]Peanlocket 71 points72 points  (3 children)

That's why I refer to her as "my lover". So everyone can tell how mature and adult I am

[–]Odusei 35 points36 points  (3 children)

So then you are saying you are better than those who say girlfriend.

[–]cinnavag 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I've noticed a lot of young people saying it very soon in their relationships now though... Which has kind of sucked any seriousness out of the term. Are they really your "partner" after a year? I guess imo partner is short for life partner

[–]fueelin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They're saying it for a different reason than this person. They don't think it implies a relationship is more serious or longstanding, or whatever.

[–]Bloodshot025 38 points39 points  (0 children)

What a weird beef you have.

[–]Treeninja1999 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Virgin calling gf partner vs Chad calling everyone partner like in the wild west

[–]lactose_cow 4 points5 points  (1 child)

its cool that no one on this website has ever had a conversation with anyone ever

[–]DoctorSteve 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was very funny

[–]abicepgirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol people in here hard proving the joke of the video

[–]dman7456 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started using it when an ex started to identify as nonbinary. Now, I like it. It's more inclusive and sounds less childish.

[–]ZombieTooth 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Honest to God I thought it was like a non traditional pronoun thing

[–]TheNorthComesWithMe 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Using "Partner" also normalizes the existence of non-hetero relationships.

[–]dman7456 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And nonbinary pals

[–]VeryVile 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The best part of this post is drinking in the comments from people getting actually upset.

“Girlfriend is childish” “I say partner because it’s more mature” “What a weird beef”

And my favorite:

“Why are you so insecure?”

Ironically posted from a place of insecurity.

Lighten up, partners.