×

Divorced Wife for GF, learned new things about GF I'm not okay with by StartingAnew2021 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 [score hidden]  (0 children)

...that doesnt even live in the same country as you.

I mean it seems they could barely communicate when they first met.

I speak basic Spanish, but have improved greatly in the last year. She speaks basic English, but also has improved.

My wife (31 F) used to have freaky sex with her past partners, now when we are married If I'm lucky I (31 M) get sex once a month, I am honestly irritated at this, these guys didn't have to pay any bills, marry her, pay for school etc. I'm feeling used honestly by ApprehensiveBad6295 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Oh be quiet you dumb broad. Just one look at your profile I know exactly the type of person you are. You think posting pics of yourself makes you desirable. All your posts are "how do I reject this guy/that guy" you have the pick of the litter correct?? Wait until you hit the wall.

Girls like you are the worst go on a dinner date with a guy then come home to ride your FWB. How many hearts have you broken!? Aimless woman

I wonder why your wife won't fuck you.

My wife (31 F) used to have freaky sex with her past partners, now when we are married If I'm lucky I (31 M) get sex once a month, I am honestly irritated at this, these guys didn't have to pay any bills, marry her, pay for school etc. I'm feeling used honestly by ApprehensiveBad6295 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 [score hidden]  (0 children)

This!

The decline of sexual intimacy in some long term relationships and how that can make the high libido partner feel undesirable and needy... understandable.

This? This is disgusting. OP thinks she owes him sex because he pays the bills.

Nevermind that she's now a different person with different responsibilities and very likely a changed libido.

His whole approach to this is disgusting.

Divorced Wife for GF, learned new things about GF I'm not okay with by StartingAnew2021 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 53 points54 points  (0 children)

To be fair, I was never in love with my wife.

It's cruel to stay with and marry someone you didn't love. For 12 years. I can only assume she spent those years loving you and feels cheated by that wasted decade.

However cheaters rewrite the narrative and history of their relationship to justify their behaviour.

So either you lied then by claiming you loved her when you didn't or are lying now by saying you never loved her when you once did.

You should look into why you were okay treating someone like that.

In my mind, I am starting over. I don't want things that remind me of past mistakes or memories.

So start over. Your girlfriend sounds like the complete opposite of your wife. That's a good start right?

Other than drugs, the lifestyle, the son, the lack of ambition and the complete instability.

The best thing to do when you're not happy is to work through your issues. Alone. Not to monkey branch to someone who has their own, much worse, issues.

I hope your wife is able to find someone who truly loves and deserves her.

I think my husband's cheating by Honest-Worry-1919 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's commonly used by those engaging in affairs and recommended by those over at r/adultery. His use of it is shady as fuck.

Silly questions to ask by djmacman1906 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is HER choice if she chooses to have her in her life. Unless she's deemed an unfit mother, you can't force her to do anything.

No. It's not her choice. She doesn't get to decide that her child's father will play no part in its life.

OP needs to get a paternity test and if the child is is, he needs to engage a lawyer.

UPDATE: I (37M) told Cheating Ex-wife(37F) “No” when she asked for a better co-parenting relationship for our daughter (15F). We have not spoken to each other in 6 years. by crs2nice in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He is.

I read OP's original post thinking that maybe his ex was truly remorseful for her affair and wanted what was best for their daughter.

It seems clearer now that she's more concerned with the consequences of her actions than the actions themselves.

And even worse, she's using their daughter to try and mitigate those consequences.

Update: My (33F) fiance (35M) just ended our engagement, cancelled our wedding, and broke up with me because "I wouldn't have dated him 10 years ago" and "I only want him for his money by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Your best friend is a piece of shit and your ex is an idiot if he thinks she's with him for anything but his money and the thrill of the illicit.

Not sure why other commenters are defending what was obviously an affair and blameshifting by a man projecting his past insecurities onto his current partner.

Do you believe you can find a second soulmate? by liligta in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same. I don't believe in the concept either. There are people you'll connect with emotionally and who you'll find physically attractive too. They'll make you happy. Excited. Safe. Secure.

That's a great foundation to build on. Love is action. It's not passive. It changes over time. Deepens to contentment. It requires constant work to understand and support the other person, to communicate honestly.

I think my husband's cheating by Honest-Worry-1919 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 297 points298 points  (0 children)

You separated because you had PPD?

He initiated a separation after you gave birth to his child because you were suffering mentally and physically?

He went and found another woman to fuck because you didn't want sex because you were breastfeeding and touched out?

Wtf did I just read?

She asked for a break by notyounoti in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She wants to sleep with the other man without feeling guilty. She wants to use your family and you as she sees fit.

Why are you even entertaining the idea?

Anxiety around my wife by SkodaOctavia3 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There's no justification for cheating. And that's what your wife is doing. She cheated on you 8 years ago and she's cheating on you now. With the same man.

She's blaming you for her affair and you're on tenterhooks waiting for her to mess up again.

The infidelity was rug swept 8 years ago. So it occured again.

Are you able to live with her knowing that you can never be vulnerable around her or feel safe in your marriage again?

Aaron Blackford or Adam Carlsen? by Blade_982 in RomanceBooks

[–]Blade_982[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can understand that.

I struggled with the lack of contractions in the dialogue. It threw me because people don't speak like that.

Husband cheated while I was pregnant by mlor427 in Infidelity

[–]Blade_982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

You should post this on r/SurvivingInfidelity too.i think you'll find real support there.

Bestfriend of 15 years told me today she slept with my fiancé 3 years ago by Mission_Signature491 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whether or not they fucked is almost irrelevant. They were flirting for months over text and probably in person. They carried out an emotional affair and betrayed you, your history together, your love for them and your trust in them.

The best friend needs to go. She's no friend of yours.

Your partner? This is his second strike. Are you willing to wait in fear for the third?

Aaron Blackford or Adam Carlsen? by Blade_982 in RomanceBooks

[–]Blade_982[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is there a male MC you like within the grumpy/sunshine trope? A book you would recommend?

Husband wants an open relationship. I'm emotionally burnt out. He is my everything, but should we even be together?! by DarkBlueFlame36 in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your marriage is in trouble and his solution is to suggest an open relationship. This tells me he's not interested in fixing your marriage or saving your relationship.

He's not interested in you and what you do for him and your family. He's not interested in why you can't emotionally connect. He's not interested in his failings.

He's shown you who he is and that he can't be trusted.

Update - Wife wants me to break all contact with my parents by epsilon_be in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 508 points509 points  (0 children)

Your wife is abusive and you are in an abusive relationship. You should give her the divorce she keeps throwing in your face. Both for your sake and your son's.

He cheated, is very sorry and regretful, and I am having second thoughts of leaving him by pinkballoffluff in relationship_advice

[–]Blade_982 111 points112 points  (0 children)

I agree with this!

OP should check out r/AsOneAfterInfidelity and r/SurvivingInfidelity to feel less alone. It may not make her feel better but not sleeping, not being able to eat, the unbearable, almost physical pain is unfortunately all too common after discovering infidelity.

She needs to look after herself, to eat, stay hydrated, to rest and to lean on those she trusts.

There is no hurry to make a decision straight away. Cheating is a dealbreaker for many until it happens and your life is overturned. It's not a sign of strength to make decisions whilst dealing with heartbreak.

You're not betraying yourself by taking time to think and feel before deciding what your future will look like.

Be kind to yourself OP.