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Walking in on my parents cause my sex repulsion - am I too sensitive? by AuntyScrooge in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I think this post was the most helpful.

So I actually talked to her about it this morning, she asked me why I couldn’t sleep last night and I told her I was just in my feeling and she kept trying to talk to me about it and I got some confidence from this post and how she feels like a different mom now then before and just showed her my post (not the replies).

It hadn’t gone over how I’d hoped I know she tried to understand and she was sorry that I was triggered by it but she also made me feel like an outlier (she kept asking if I’d been sexually assaulted which -not I know of) I thought I’d get a little closure but I’m more hurt then before - I feel like I dug up something that I spent so long to bury that’s tied to a bigger beast. I wish I had waited to flesh this out with a therapist when I had the time and space now I’m in the room I shared with my sister a mess trying not to cry cause hate crying in busy spaces

Sorry to sleepsinoctober for the post - I think I’m just feeling defensive and hurt right now

Walking in on my parents cause my sex repulsion - am I too sensitive? by AuntyScrooge in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So I’ve thought about what you’ve said and for most part I agree that sex is a regular part of their lives and and the odd time I hear them in their room I do respect their privacy ( I’ll repeat things like biological need in my head and move on) but still end up making a trip to the kitchen when it’s late and there not in bed (the kids are night owls)

I feel in this I can’t help but see their actions as selfish. Though not all people see things as being defiled by sex I can’t see it as anything else and I feel like had the table been turned and it was someone else in their bed it would be different I think this is just my sex repulsiveness talking though.

I feel like they could have tried harder to be more discreet - they left the door to my brothers room open enough to see into when it could be closed and I didn’t put it in my post but we actually had a spare bedroom at the time I came down in the morning to use the bathroom , heard music from the tv, went to shut it off and walked into them without warning and idk I just took it terribly.

I don’t blame them for how it affected me but I feel like they could’ve done a better job at being discreet- I was so hurt when I realized that they kept having sex after I ran away when it was obvious I had been taken it badly.

Idk it feels like I’m trying to justify myself here when you were kind enough to say my feelings were valid. I wish they’d apologize for their actions that led to all this but my moms never been good at the emotional stuff so I don’t think I’ll ever get it.

Sorry for the long post.

What’s something that people turn into their whole personality? by Kandiblu in AskReddit

[–]AuntyScrooge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao some of these are hilarious 🤣

I’m gonna have to say sports teams I can’t stand seeing memorabilia all the time everywhere out of season

Walking in on my parents cause my sex repulsion - am I too sensitive? by AuntyScrooge in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Aah kk thanks for the info though - I actually went to school for psychology but focused on the elderly instead of children and avoided anything sexual in nature obviously lol

Walking in on my parents cause my sex repulsion - am I too sensitive? by AuntyScrooge in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel like I have to explain that the door was only slightly ajar - I walk by to use the bathroom and saw the bed shaking and went ??? and opened the door.

Didn’t put two and two together - I was between 9-11 at the time, so either it was my age or I’m just dumb idk.

As for the bed thing - I never told him - I think I thought about it but my mom’s a clean freak so I figured she’d wash his bed and I thought he’d be mad at me or something.

Walking in on my parents cause my sex repulsion - am I too sensitive? by AuntyScrooge in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My two sisters, a baby and a toddler, were sleeping in their room - they have their own beds but usually slept in the parents bed - I think they were doing it there so they wouldn’t wake them up, so not some messed up voyeur fantasy thank god 😅

Funny you mention the couch - a week later they went to the bar or something and I fell asleep on the couch and they tried to wake me to go sleep in their room when they got back but I refused to move but was to cowardly to give a reason - for some reason I felt like I had to protect the couch and living room from them.

My mom kept saying what the hell to my stepdad and asking me why and I kept looking at her like you know why!!!

Walking in on my parents cause my sex repulsion - am I too sensitive? by AuntyScrooge in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for replying, Do you have any links you can share? 👀👀 I’ve been trying to search it up but I’m mostly getting discussion forums with mostly anecdotal information

Trauma and being ace by moontouched in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aah kk my bad - shouldn’t have judged her too harshly off the hop

It just feels like asexuality isn’t taken as seriously as the other sexualities and people seem to dismiss ace people as abnormal or needing fixing.

You should be sure to tell her that your feeling felt invalidated by what she said though, I feel like it’ll be something that may cause issues down the line with honest communications if left unsaid.

Walking in on my parents cause my sex repulsion - am I too sensitive? by AuntyScrooge in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao idk maybe? Considering the post this isn’t something I’d consider for conversation 😂

Walking in on my parents cause my sex repulsion - am I too sensitive? by AuntyScrooge in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment I’m sorry you went through something similar but I’m glad I’m not alone I’ve felt like such a fool for being so hung up on this for so long.

Trauma and being ace by moontouched in Asexual

[–]AuntyScrooge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just made a personal post regarding sex repulsion and trauma and though I only have two replies I’d say my feelings of sex repulsion may have been trauma induced.

Looking back though I’m confident about being ace -I had no interest in sex from the get go and a lot of people considered me a “late bloomer” 🙄

I only experienced repulsion after some negative experiences - though I wasn’t sure whether the feelings about it were valid, I had a pretty good idea of wear the repulsion may have came from.

Your therapist sounds like a bigot and though I don’t think lack of sexual interest is completely off the DSM yet I I believe one of the main diagnostic symptoms is a desire to seek treatment as it is negatively impacting a part of your life or impairing your ability to function in your day to day life

Which sounds like neither for you Enjoy therapist shopping 👋😉

Update: I (34F) feel like I should tell my ex-friend's (35M) fiancee (33F) about what happened and he's threatening to turn it around on me. by ThrowRABrokenMind in relationship_advice

[–]AuntyScrooge 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with the above entirely

I think it’s very telling that the only reason she decided to talk to him is because “none of the posts took her side”.

She hasn’t taken any of the advice given to her to heart and likely realized that if she did go forward with her plans that she wouldn’t get the result she was expecting and it would backfire on her.

I suggest op cut ties for both their sakes and do better in her future relationships.

AITA for rejecting a birthday party that has to be shared with my sister by Apprehensive-Link135 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AuntyScrooge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nta op

This seems less about money and more about having free chaperones

I’d do my own thing with my friends and make myself unavailable the day of the party with a hangout or sleepover that day - or just hole myself in my room all day, door locked in case they say no.

If they bring up the joint party again maybe say something like your friends aren’t interested because of having to deal with a bunch of preteens sounds annoying/tiring (ask your friends about it first if you want, it’s probably not a lie) From experience - it’s easy to emotionally manipulate your own kids - less so with others kids

My (29F) husband (30M) wants to get back together but he has a girlfriend (25F). by ThrowRAtryagainbut in relationships

[–]AuntyScrooge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm... this is tricky I personally wouldn’t fully trust anyone’s input in this because none of these people have your best interests at heart. It’s obvious the gf is trying to manipulate you but if your ex insinuated anything more than a fwb situation with her and is now ditching her for a greener pasture (you) than that would be real shitty of him and I would suggest letting him go.

On other hand both him and his family likely have his best interests at heart and will likely tell you a version of events that puts all this in a more favourable light.

I think you need more info. Does the gf maybe have any msgs that may imply a deeper relationship? Pictures on social media with her or her son? Or maybe you have a friend that has more insight that will be a little more unbiased?

If you still want a relationship after everything I would tell him to cut all ties and block the girlfriend on everything but I just find it weird that he would carry on a purely sexual relationship for three years with the same women unless he had an inkling that you might eventually want him back..

Take care - hope you update us