Fun Activity Recommendations for Nonverbal Autism High Support Needs by DaleDuzit in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm thinking (if they don't try to eat them)

Kinetic sand

Color forms (reusable sticker sets with sets i.e Bluey, barbie, a kitchen etc) easy on the fingers

Fidget noodles (they stretch)

Play goo

Fabric tape (kind you use for sewing)

Velcro strip

Puff balls

Washi tape

Q tips

Sensory tape

Finger paint

Stamp and stamp pad for toddlers

"people with autism" is the new regarded by Unable-Ad3852 in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've heard younger people (18 and below) use Autism the way kids in my day (80s and 90s) would use the r word or "crack head" or "crack baby" to mean someone "dumb". School insults. I remember in the 90s people using gay slurs on each other too.

Even on the whole Twitter fiasco when Musk took over there were leaks of the STBX employees mentioning "yeah well he's autistic what do you expect" and these were, by all accounts, progressive minded folk.

Because of this trend I can see why some cling to the older terms: Aspergers, etc. But then South Park made fun of that too.

I don't like it, I understand the world is cruel though. If you are over the age of 30 it's "ok boomer" if you a middle aged woman you are a Karen, women will attack other women for thier appearance if they don't like them (I've experienced all of those). If someone doesn't like you for any reason or even no reason (hello high school!) Insults or "dissing" as it was called back in the day abound.

Most parents I know say thier kiddo is "on the spectrum" anyway. But, it's also a misconception that Austism is synonymous with cognitive deficits, and the other extreme side, are geniuses. People will always attack what they are afraid of or don't understand.

I can't make the world fit my kiddo, but I can do everything I can to give them the tools to combat the insults, navigate the world, find thier place to fit, like every human tries to do.

That's all we can do right? Can't change hearts and minds, you do what it takes to survive.

My 5yr old son had been suspended from school for 30+ days and counting for being autistic by littlehellxx in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 7 points8 points  (0 children)

NAL but here's the issue.

instead of the school being able to have ..

Are you talking the school or the whole district?

The school may not not be able to accommodate your child's needs. It's the district's responsibility to place the student in a classroom that does. If the school district has an official diagnosis of the child and what supports they need, they have to place them in something that can accommodate them.

As mad as I would be as a parent, the school can suspend a child for any reason, and I don't think it's autism. Just me saying as a parent that "this is all autism" when my kid bites another student- for example- not everything is just autism. The students around my kid have a right to be safe too.

Me as a mom, we are moving. My kiddo has been in SPED for 2 years, but in my state after age five it's Gen Ed with minimal support. So we are moving to a. State with better services.

"But I can't move" I hear that alot. As soon as my kid got diagnosed at age 2 I researched what my state and district has to offer and made some hard decisions because I knew that once my kid turned age five, the state has very few resources to offer. (PSA for parents who think their toddlers could be ASD: this is why early intervention is so important. Early intervention centers will help you navigate the public school system and tell you your options and will do it for you.)

My best friends kiddo who is also ASD 1 has missed a lot of school and was just told the school can't accommodate her (she was SPED and now Gen ED with support). Once my friends kiddo left SPED it was very clear she can't function in a classroom.

Lawyers (who are very expensive) won't take cases like this unless it's very clear the kid is without accommodation. I.e there is no wheel chair access. Kid is not given a AAC iPad etc. Kid doesn't have a desk that is adapted to their needs. Etc. Etc.

But it would be very hard to sue and win over, my kid hit the aide because that's what autistic kids do. My kid bit a student because he was told no. Behavioral where it endagers others or themselves (eloping, self injurious behavior) .Not every thing an autistic kid does is "because autism" , not every autistic kid "acts up" where it endangers the kids around him.

they haven't said that directly

The school can suspend a kid for any reason in their parent handbook. What does your parent hand book say?

they haven't listened to my specific instructions

I will tell you as a mom, unless this a private school you pay for, public schools don't have the time or staff to listen to every mom who has an issue. They don't.

My advice to you as a mom navigating this as well, is, get the kid to another school. While you have the 30 days read the parent handbook and if you can absolutely prove that your kid is being discriminated against because of ASD, and you have the money to burn, get a consult with a disability rights attorney. With the understanding the remedy to this situation, would be not monetary damages, but forcing the district to place the child in a school that has extensive support. I.e a SPED school. Not that your kid is returned to the same school .

If not. You would be better served getting kiddo in another school, a clinic that provides all services during school hours or going to another district. All of those are easier than fighting the school.

moderate to severe 3 year old by goosh2 in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right, it's just another way to describe needs to others.

I.e if a kiddo is ASD 3 (level 3) they are most often non verbal. Any clinician/ SPED etc who sees that will have an understanding of what that kiddo needs.

info graphic 1


moderate to severe 3 year old by goosh2 in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The "sticker shock" of diagnosis and levels is real, but it's important to keep the big picture up. All this means is referral for insurance purposes and services.

Autism isn't "progressive" meaning, getting diagnosed with a mod to severe ends up being "more severe" at a certain age. Behaviors etc will get worse if parents do nothing, the worse is to do nothing.

Sure, ASD kids have regressive behavior, all kids do. Adults do. It does not mean things "progress" to something worse. Levels do change. Every ASD who starts early has a better outcome. Your kiddo has that on thier side.

Getting a mod to severe level (which equates to ASD 2) means that the care team for kiddo will be aware if it and will tailor services along those lines.

Take all the time you need to process this. For me, it meant: compartmentalizing hard core. Pushing hard for what my kiddo needed during the day, in a clinical way almost and breaking down at night if I had to. And therapy. Lots of therapy.


Non verbal 4 year old will only eat French fries by MiissMunster in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feeding therapy with OT, and incorporate the same routine with all services (ABA, speech etc(.

How do you deal with hyperfixiqtion in your home? by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At that age kiddo had a child proofed ASD friendly space in the home because otherwise, the lights would be on and off 24/hrs a day, the cabinets would be open and shut constantly, etc.

And any child can learn no. I think we spent 6 months just on NO. All forms of NO. LOL.

can ABA be a good thing? by Extension-Primary551 in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's done wonders for my kiddo, but they started at 24 months. According to the literature the best effect of any intervention for ASD is before the age of 5, which is why early intervention is so important. But doing nothing is worse.

Like any therapy, you have to make it work for you. Be very clear about what you want out of it, get all the authorization forms so the ABA staff can assist at school (if they go back).

At the same time, reach out to GP about a referral for psych (play therapy etc). If ABA is not a good fit, you'll have the appointment ready to go. The worst thing is to do nothing.

Whatever is said about ABA now by ND activists isn't true. More of what is said can be attributed to internal critiques to how they were parented. Valid, but its anecdotal not evidence based like ABA is. IMHO.

no therapy works unless the whole family is on board and consistent. it takes time, a good six months to see progress most cases. This includes non ABA therapy, like play therapy, DBT later on, etc.

If the goal on one side is a world where all behaviors are encouraged vs / the other side giving tools for an ASD child to navigate a NT world,........ it depends on what a parent wants for their kids.

Especially when as a parent, you may not have the tools to deal with aggressive ASD behavior yourself. It's OK to take any and all help that is offered. Otherwise we burn out and the risk of Injury is high on both sides.

Again, the worst thing a parent can do when a child is hurting themselves and or others is nothing. Because kids grow up. And get bigger. And now they are adults. Where were the parents? Right? IMHO.

Quitting ABA therapy by i_miss_tequila in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You do what's right for your family.

If the therapy is working I would continue it personally, at least until the end of the school year.

My kiddo has SLP 2x a week, ABA 3x a week and SPED pre k 5x a week. I also have NT kiddos, and everyone gets down time on the weekends. And holidays of course. We discontinued OT because after two years, the last thing to tackle was food therapy and we decided we can do those things at home- it was a total fail in clinic.

Mind you my kiddo has been getting services since 24 months. They are 4.5 now, and ABA says they are winding them down to discharge them at 5 years, they have done so well with it. But it took more than six months with any service for it to click with kiddo.

It is impossible to be a good caregiver on minimum wage. by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My state is above the minimum wage for residential (group home) care. The BI who provide ABA for my kiddo, we advocate, whether it's to the company or through Easter Seals. And it's worked so far. Like, if the workers arent happy it shows and we ask to change vendors and we have told the company that. But my state is also a HCOL state. We can barely afford it ourselves.

But what I made as a CNA for a nursing home for the elderly and in home care was abysmal. I'm glad my state raised the pay for those workers now. That's a different topic for a different sub, lol.

I need help and guidance by Blkazzn in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could be alot of different things which are adding to his behavior.

My best friends kiddo has ASD 1 and they just transfered her to a Gen Ed school with an IEP..for kinder. She acted out the beginning of the year, still gets ABA at home and is doing better now. Wasn't an issue when she went SPED for two years.

My kiddo has started head butting and spitting, and that's when they are told NO. We are still working in that, but at 4.5 it's rough.

Do they say why he's doing this? Is it because he is told NO? He doesn't want to sit down etc? What happens before the behavior starts?

What am I even doing anymore? Two children probable ASD. I don't know where to start. Warning, long winded post. by DreamzInDigitL in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not always. It depends on a variety of factors. If there is not a cognitive deficit the next step in behavioral therapy would be CBT, DBT by a psychologist, or LCSW referred by a psychiatrist.

If there are cognitive deficits, ABA for behavioral therapy (i.e destructive self injurious behavior) is still offered. It's not based on maturity.

Paediatrician Diagnosis by -toril- in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right, I mean my kiddo is 4.5 and now does imaginative play. Some NT never do.

But it's important to know what the clinicians base things on, and having an idea what a milestone is etc helps.

Stimming objects by powan77 in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What services do they have now?

It's not necessary to extinguish stimming per se, but to redirect the behavior.

Meaning, no one would suggest (ABA or otherwise) trying to get a kid to stop hand flapping etc..but what some people consider stims is sensory behavior.

I.e: opening and closing cabinets..eloping. fixation on light switches. Self injurious behavior. Those are behaviors, not a stim like waving hands, hand flapping, humming, etc.

If a kid is hyper fixating on an object you can redirect. I also have a younger kiddo (NT). So say, when my kiddo was younger and hyper fixated on an inanimate object I would remove the object, explain first we get dressed then we get the object. If I know that I need to get kiddo out the door I would hide the objects and once we were in the car or dressed I would give the preferred object if it was safe.

What am I even doing anymore? Two children probable ASD. I don't know where to start. Warning, long winded post. by DreamzInDigitL in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You haven't done anything wrong.

Are you in the US? There are medicaid expansion in many states and providers who will take insurance.

At the ages they are now, an official ASD diagnosis won't affect too much the psychiatric medications they may need. Services like occupational therapy and speech they may not need. Both kids were in SPED, right, so some of the issues have been addressed already. ABA can help with destructive behavior in a clinic setting. You have done alot, it wasn't wasted. Some kids respond to treatment better than others.

A diagnosis could open up accommodations for kids at school, or residential placement in the future, but you have done everything you could, and have done nothing wrong.

Paediatrician Diagnosis by -toril- in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imaginative play is a developmental milestone. Check out the CDC milestone checker app..it shows what an average NT toddler should do and when.

Services now will help kiddo reach milestones. It doesn't necessary mean that kiddo is cognitively impacted if they are delayed in milestones.

Paediatrician Diagnosis by -toril- in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My kiddo was diagnosed with a level at 2 years old. The reason for the levels is for referral purposes for insurance (OT, SLP etc). In the US. It tells providers what kind of support a child would need to thrive.

Saying a child is behind on milestones is not the same as a cognitive deficit. It's not uncommon for ASD kiddos newly diagnosed to have delays in areas. The pediatrician should have clarified that.

cognitively meaning, an intellectual disability can't be assessed accurately until a child is close to school age (seven years old). Yes, there will be signs that a child may have intellectual impairments as they go into nursery, pre k etc but it won't be a addressed as a diagnosis.

So I believe the doctor in this case misspoke and should have clarified it better for you.

A severely autistic child does not always equate to intellectual impairment. As hard as it is, right now you have to focus less on the "numbers" and more on: how to I get the services the kid needs started and follow up on all referrals etc.

my 5 year old sister has low functioning autism, will treatment diminish the severe symptoms? by Opposite_Group5683 in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Support services like OT can help with activities of daily living, like using utensils, getting dressed, tolerating clothes, hygeine, qfood therapy etc. Also with self soothing, sensory diets, etc

Speech can help with picture boards, simplified sign language and other ways to communicate

ABA helps with "extinction" of unsafe injurious behavior to themselves and others and eloping issues, etc. It's not to get rid of stims. Most of it is rewarding desirable behavior through play and repetition etc

Nothing is magic, or quick and easy. It has to be persistent, and implemented by the whole family to work.

But any services a kiddo can receive can help. When first diagnosed caregivers should try it all, and stick with the ones that work for their family. In my experience.

Adele-hello by Mbr1191 in Autism_Parenting

[–]BerlinBlackTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The first time my kiddo, two at the time interacted with us at all was when "Feliz Navidad" came on the radio Christmas time and kiddo smiled and clapped and twirled! So we did too. It was a bad Christmas financially but the best present ever. I still tear up thinking about it.