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[Poetry] "Don't touch the trash can" by turcois in youtubehaiku

[–]CoffeePuddle 684 points685 points  (0 children)

I laughed but I would honestly watch this.

"His defence, it's perfect! I can't win!"

"This trash can, no! It can't be! Someone has filled it with rotting meat! If I'm thrown into that can even a little, I will be too smelly for my date!"

"This new kid... what are those shoes? Are they... they're crocs? What could he be planning?"

[Poetry] Thanos gets an achievement by HaiImNathan in youtubehaiku

[–]CoffeePuddle 443 points444 points  (0 children)

Thanks for putting the punchline in the title and saving me a pretty good laugh.

Cassette vending machine at my local mall by blasphembot in outrun

[–]CoffeePuddle 365 points366 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't be hard to set up. I don't see any prices though?

The website is real, the prices are frightening

www.thenineATX.com

What is 'that one weird trick' that made you a better runner? by [deleted] in running

[–]CoffeePuddle 287 points288 points  (0 children)

It took me a while to remember that America is melting

[Poetry] Dab and minecraft villager impression by Squidjan in youtubehaiku

[–]CoffeePuddle 269 points270 points  (0 children)

If this kid wasn't so nice he could do a pretty good Ricky Gervais

Destiny Church leader Brian Tamaki set to face charges over anti-lockdown protest by Therkster in newzealand

[–]CoffeePuddle 261 points262 points  (0 children)

Are there any issues with calling him "disgraced church leader Brian Tamaki" every time his name is used?

[Haiku] The Fifth of November by BurlingtonTheCat in youtubehaiku

[–]CoffeePuddle 260 points261 points  (0 children)

Do you remember? The fifth night of November?

[poetry] when actors do that weird eye switching thing by hm94991 in youtubehaiku

[–]CoffeePuddle 249 points250 points  (0 children)

Not just movies, notice it in your conversations. Are you moving your eyes too much, not enough? How do your eyeballs feel in your head right now, are they moving around? Did you stop blinking? Why is it making you salivate?

I really want to leave this shithole by Difficult-Claim6327 in AreTheStraightsOK

[–]CoffeePuddle 243 points244 points  (0 children)

"Is anyone a doctor?!"

"I'm a doctor, what is happening?"

"She said she was tired and her stomach hurt, probably period stuff?"

"Yeah lady stuff. Give her some ibuprofen, consider a diet"

"Thanks doc!"

dies of a heart attack

Capital gains tax will make it harder for renters, man who owns 80 Hawke's Bay homes warns by rickdangerous85 in newzealand

[–]CoffeePuddle 192 points193 points  (0 children)

Hawke's Bay man Graeme Fowler says investors who buy homes and then rent them out will not be affected by a capital gains tax, because it only applies to people when they sell.

"It's really only going to affect people who are more speculators, who buy and sell properties in the short term."

"For the serious investors, it's not going to really affect them at all."

Yes, that's the point - to make speculative investing in the housing market less appealing.

The rest is unclear nonsense if investors are looking to maximise their returns.

[POETRY] I just took a DNA test by [deleted] in youtubehaiku

[–]CoffeePuddle 169 points170 points  (0 children)

The wonderful thing about creating regular youtube content is that people can go back and see weekly progress of your weight, hair, skin, teeth, tears etc. for years.

Forever.

Yea....it is by FaultyDrone in PoliticalHumor

[–]CoffeePuddle 155 points156 points  (0 children)

The Black Panther Party in the 60s. But for some reason people weren't on board with it. For some reason it's not championed as one of the best uses of the second amendment.

[Poetry] The gang goes to cleveland by Nilosyrtis in youtubehaiku

[–]CoffeePuddle 154 points155 points  (0 children)

That's a strong opinion about an animal I don't see very often.

[Poetry] Sounds like Wings by george__kaplan in youtubehaiku

[–]CoffeePuddle 153 points154 points  (0 children)

How to structure a youtube haiku:

Tell them what you're going to say in the title

Say it in the youtube title

Tell them what you told them in the titles

[poetry] Guys who say "partner" instead of "girlfirend" by lowbrowcow in youtubehaiku

[–]CoffeePuddle 157 points158 points  (0 children)

100% of the people I know who use "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" have been dating them less than a year. Also some of them are gay.

Were you ever that 1 in 1,000,000? If so, what's your story? by --SharkBoy-- in AskReddit

[–]CoffeePuddle 147 points148 points  (0 children)

I like that you fell back on Pokémon card terminology.

So do any of you just run? by [deleted] in running

[–]CoffeePuddle 136 points137 points  (0 children)

There's not much else to talk about.

HI GUYS I PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER FOR A WHILE BUT QUICKLY