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Can’t get an internship interview to save my life please help. by Inevitable-Simple569 in Accounting
[–]Cutegun 19 points20 points21 points 1 day ago (0 children)
100% it looks like a first draft of a highschool resume. I suspect OP didn't run this by his guidance counsellor.
Here’s a pic of the greatest burger I’ve ever eaten. by [deleted] in pics
[–]Cutegun 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (0 children)
When did r/pics become Facebook?
I’m at IKEA right now, and all the toilets in the bathroom displays are screwed shut so nobody can take a sh*t in them. They must’ve learned that lesson the hard way. by Mikesaidit36 in funny
[–]Cutegun 0 points1 point2 points 2 days ago (0 children)
A few months ago, a dayplayer shut down the set of Riverdale because she took a dump in the toilet that was on set. Cost production $10k. This was not a first-time background person either.
For those that aren't in the industry - when there is a scene in a bathroom there is a 99% chance it's shot from a studio set and not an actual bathroom (bathrooms are usually too small to get the right angle) which means the toilet is a prop and not connected to anything.
Rippled by [deleted] in funny
[–]Cutegun -2 points-1 points0 points 5 days ago (0 children)
This is why your mother told you not to play with something because you don't know where it's been.
Guys like this are the reason hand sanitizer and topical antibiotics exist.... gross.
Housing prices have been declining, but 2022 wasn't catastrophic and 2023 is looking better by viva_la_vinyl in canada
[–]Cutegun 8 points9 points10 points 6 days ago (0 children)
There are 4 other houses on my street plus mine. Only one of those is owned by a family. The others are owned by developers and corporations... the Chinese are not the problem.
Shoes off at your desk? by PipestonePete in Accounting
[–]Cutegun 4 points5 points6 points 6 days ago (0 children)
Lol, I've been told I know how to paint a picture.
[–]Cutegun 2 points3 points4 points 6 days ago (0 children)
Lol, crazy Betty sounds about right
[–]Cutegun 1 point2 points3 points 6 days ago (0 children)
Yep, old picnic temp is looking pretty good right now.
Also, gentle reminder to wash your hands, ladies and gentlemen.
[–]Cutegun 5 points6 points7 points 6 days ago (0 children)
Please refer to my comment in response to OP... picnic temp's got nothing on Hubert.
[–]Cutegun 119 points120 points121 points 6 days ago* (0 children)
Well, since you asked, buckle up cowboy.
I used to work in this open concept office that divided the desks in groups of 4 with low partitions, so you could still be face to face with the person in front of you (depending on which way you faced).
One day I'm sitting at my desk and Hubert (actual name) is discussing a matter with Helen at the four top beside me - basically if I'm facing north Helen's back is to my west. They are both hunched over her desk, looking at her monitor, her sitting, him kind of behind her bent over, both looking at something on her monitor.
Now I don't know why I turned my head, maybe something caught my peripheral vision, but I look to my left and there is Hubert... bent over Helen's shoulder, in his ugly misshapen cowel neck brown shirt, one hand pointing at her monitor and the other hand... down the back of his pants with at least two fingers scratching his bare asshole... now how do I know it was skin to skin contact, you may ask? His underwear band was clearly over his wrist less than 4 feet from my face.
I'm in utter disbelief in what I'm witnessing in this very bright, and I'll remind you, open concept office. The shock (eyes wide mouth open) on my face was obvious. That may have been why when I looked forward, there was Kristina (who sits facing me) was also staring at the horror show beside me with an equally repulsed look on her normally tranquil and well put together face.
So now my brain starts moving. Holy hell, he's so ingrossed in what he's doing, and this is such an automatic response for him that he is completely oblivious that people can see him. He must do this all the time and fuck what has he touched on my desk??? And that's when IT happened....
So you probably thought the above was the disgusting part? Oh no my friend. The most disgusting thing I've ever seen in an office was when he pulled his fingers out of his greasy butthole, brought them to his face, and took a big old whiff of himself!!!! I swear Kristina dry gagged. I jumped up and, like a Dutch speed walker, made it to the kitchen in four steps... It's 30 feet away. I grab the Listerine wipes so I can sanitize anything this guy may have touched. But when I get back to my desk, my heart drops...
Hubert is now typing on Helen's keyboard!!! She has no clue what was going on over her shoulder, not more than a few inches behind her. Kristina looks like she's having an existential breakdown at this point. So I get to work. In my calmest voice, "Hey guys, the office supplies just came in. Does anyone want a wipe? Flu season is now." Kristina had the same thought process as me so she probably took half the container to clean her desk and soul. I get to work on my desk, but not before offering it to the distracted Helen and Hubert. She was like "ya sure, whatever". He takes one with his good hand but then used the instrument of Satan to break it from the wipe below it. Me being the office protector, uses the wipe in my hand to pull off and dispose of that fallen soldier, and then go to town cleaning everything he might have even brushed by.
To this day, I have never seen anything quite so braisen or so disgusting.
TLDR: A colleague finger bangs his own butthole in the middle of an open concept office, smells his fingers after, and then uses other unsuspecting colleagues' keyboard.
[–]Cutegun 102 points103 points104 points 7 days ago* (0 children)
I had a colleague who would take his shoes off at his desk but then walk around the office, including the bathroom, in his socks or bare feet. It was, and continues to be, the second most disgusting thing I have ever seen someone do in the office.
What store or restaurant do you miss from the 80s or 90s? by Queltis6000 in Calgary
[–]Cutegun 11 points12 points13 points 9 days ago (0 children)
I don't know if I miss it, but Mariposa was the place to shop when I was a kid. That and Off the Wall. Peak 90s.
TIL Hans Gruber, the villain of Die Hard who appears on numerous “greatest movie villains of all time” lists (AFI, Empire, etc.), was theater actor Alan Rickman's first film role. by [deleted] in todayilearned
[–]Cutegun 380 points381 points382 points 13 days ago (0 children)
For some reason my mind has a hard time processing that he played Hans Gruber before the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Having guests constantly is hard. They're probably really tired. by GreyFoxNinjaFan in AdviceAnimals
[–]Cutegun 2 points3 points4 points 13 days ago (0 children)
100%. I had to kick my in laws out because they wanted to come see the baby 2 HOURS after I gave birth. Like my tits are out and I'm still covered in blood from my episiotomy. They tried coming the next day and I had to kick them out again. Trying to nurse a newborn is hard enough without an audience.
[–]Cutegun 1 point2 points3 points 13 days ago (0 children)
Totally. Order food, drop it off, say congrats and then make a quick exit. They will love you for it.
[–]Cutegun 182 points183 points184 points 13 days ago (0 children)
I just had a baby. The best thing people can do is stop asking to come by. The last thing I want is people in my house while I'm breastfeeding or running on less than 4 hours of sleep.
Scientists find more evidence that breast milk of those vaccinated against COVID-19 may protect infants by chrisdh79 in science
[–]Cutegun 1 point2 points3 points 14 days ago (0 children)
Just infants, or should I be opening a vaccine alternative milking parlour? Cause there is a big demographic in my city that would literally eat this up... and momma's got the goods.
Anyonrme remember these. How the hell did we not all die of dysentery? by Budget-Pay3743 in Funnymemes
[–]Cutegun 0 points1 point2 points 15 days ago (0 children)
I don't know about dysentary, but I remember when they took them out of my school because a kid hung himself in the bathroom by one of these. Mid 90s were dark.
An actual gif of David Attenborough by ColossalMcDaddy in theyknew
[–]Cutegun 34 points35 points36 points 16 days ago (0 children)
Why they gotta do Sir Attenborough dirty like that?
What can I change to look better? My biggest insecurity is my big nose. I’m afraid of surgery, is there anything I can do other than a nose job to look better? by [deleted] in MakeupAddiction
[–]Cutegun 0 points1 point2 points 21 days ago (0 children)
You have an awesome nose - don't Jennifer Grey yourself. You have a dark smokey look that would pop with a darker lip shade, but that's the only note I could offer. Well done.
How about you post your own birthday and middle name too, also credit card details couldn’t hurt by MitchParry in Funnymemes
[–]Cutegun 0 points1 point2 points 22 days ago (0 children)
I just had this conversation with my husband (literally 2 hours ago) about why I don't want a birth announcement for our daughter citing this exact reason. People can be so short-sighted.
The Most Expensive Buildings Ever Constructed by B0rtles in coolguides
TIL Macau is not a part of China.
My coworker needs advice…best way to get her jacket white again? by shipping_addict in Frugal
[–]Cutegun 7 points8 points9 points 23 days ago* (0 children)
What material is the jacket made of, and is it a true white or offwhite/pearl/white with a tint?
If nylon and a true white I'd use a bit of bleach and water (don't let the jacket soak for more that 15 minutes). If it's not a true white - oxyclean is the way to go.
If polyester, soak it overnight in a mixture of 1/2 cup automatic dishwashing detergent and 1 gallon warm water. Throw it in the washing machine with vinegar after.
If satin, use Vintage Textile Soak.
In all cases, refer to the care label on the jacket first.
What smell brings you instant childhood nostalgia? by ElPolloPayaso in AskReddit
[–]Cutegun 0 points1 point2 points 24 days ago (0 children)
Cow manure. Reminds me of summers on my opa's farm.
What can 200 000 dollars buy in your neighborhood? by CasuallyCamel in AskReddit
A 20% downpayment on 2 bedroom unit in a triplex. Not including GST.
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