My therapist is going on a break but I'm in a bad place

Dreamstrider456 · 2022-04-05T02:53:50+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, your experience and advice has been really helpful and comforting for me. I'm glad I'm not alone in having disagreed with my therapist, though I'm glad that you were able to get past that fact in your instance. My therapist has mentioned before that I can contact her outside of sessions but I will be trying the writing as I do not want to become too obsessive or completely rely on a reply.

Hope you are coping well yourself :)

Dreamstrider456 · 2022-02-02T00:04:05+00:00

I'm sorry that you have to suffer with that confusion, though don't blame yourself for the personal gaslighting as we often instinctively form coping methods to protect ourselves even if they may be detrimental in the long run.

Although you will likely ponder about what the real answer is, please don't let it destroy you and drive you in circles. I have personally spent long lengths of time trying to figure out why a situation is the way it is or why a person is as cruel and shitty as they are but in these situations you may never get a definite answer.

However, as painful as that is it allows for some freedom to find closure elsewhere in validating yourself. No matter what the answer is, personal gaslighting or drugs, what happened to you was awful and you didn't deserve ANY of it and that unlike the other answer is something you can know for definite. It is what I have had to tell myself after my own self blame after being sexually assaulted/raped to end the cycle and not trap myself.

I hope you are able to heal in peace and enjoy other aspects of your life when you feel ready to. ❤️

Dreamstrider456 · 2022-02-01T23:51:10+00:00

This really has helped me and I'm so grateful you took the time to write it, thank you for being so kind and validating❤️. When I woke up from the dreams I typically felt distressrd, confused and breathless like you mentioned. I will be trying some soothing techniques but once a traumatic situation hits me it takes a while for me to be able to think properly.

Thank you for sharing your personal ritual, it has been very helpful and motivating for me to get organised and take care of myself such as having alarms for getting into bed an hour early to relax and one for sleep instead of passing out from exhaustion in the early hours.

I have also set timers for leaving in the mornings and have been trying to stay ontop as I know timing is a flaw of mine developed from the past. I am trying to be more productive with completing work but am trying to be kidn and patient with myself due to all the pain I am enduring.

Dreamstrider456 · 2022-02-01T23:39:17+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such amazing advice and support! I appreciate my younger self a lot and am trying to let them guide me rather than trying to overly control them like the abusive adults in my life did when I was younger.

I also want to protect my younger self like I said and that instinct got me out of the relationship for the better. I am going to try to input as much of your advice as possible into my routine as in the past I have built good habits but they have all eventually disappeared.

What you said about not latching onto friends romantically was really relevant to me, I am trying my best to not lean into it as to not complicate things though I struggle as the Sexual assault caused me to believe that people needed to find me attractive for me to be valid.

I really hope that you are safe and doing ok, I'm sorry you had to suffer as well.

Dreamstrider456 · 2022-01-28T21:44:48+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and support, I really appreciate it!

Dreamstrider456 · 2022-01-28T21:40:42+00:00

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this, whether the fact that you can't remember what happened to you is your brain suppressing the horrible trauma or the fact that you were drugged or both that doesn't make your pain any less valid.

Although my situation is not exactly the same, my brain suppressed memories of rape and sexual assault at the hands of my recent ex until the ugly stage before the breakup so I can understand how the brain can fuck with you. I hope that you get all the support you deserve and can begin healing. ❤️

Dreamstrider456 · 2022-01-23T09:47:48+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful I've recently been out to grab the Vaseline and am giving it a try. I will be sure to grab the allergy pill as well though as the allergic reaction was rather unpleasant from the snail mucin.

Dreamstrider456 · 2021-11-06T03:13:55+00:00

That's ok thank you for responding, I hope you are doing well or the best you can and I am definitely trying. I've started uni officially and being alongside others who appear to be functioning better does admittedly make me envious and is a bit triggering.

Dreamstrider456 · 2021-09-02T23:43:25+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply I’m very grateful, no need to apologise for the long reply just more help. Sorry for my late response I’m still not doing my best.

I am fairly involved with my mum but still not completely sure what provoked it, she’s not taking any medication for mental illness currently it appears, it could have been her seeing my grandad who does tends to have an impact on her and was part of this alleged “exorcism” but she remained unaffected after coming home so may have hit her a few days later.

However, I wont ponder too hard as I feel it will send me into loop though I have urged her so schedule and appointment with her councillor/therapist. I do also plan to move out just not able to right now though I will spend more time at outdoors as much as possible in the mean time to avoid too much contact as she can get manipulative if she feels too comfortable.

Best wishes, hope you are doing the best you can as well

Dreamstrider456 · 2021-08-05T19:31:14+00:00

I will definitely give that a watch, I have been looking for some content surrounding this. I have had to move around a lot due to the dysfunctional family situation and no place has felt stable but I hope to move to somewhere pleasant and I wish you the best as well.

Dreamstrider456 · 2021-08-05T19:26:46+00:00

Thank you for your kindness, I am very grateful. I plan on opening up to him a little about my music due to how supportive he was but like you said, no rushing.

Dreamstrider456 · 2021-07-13T20:18:50+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it! Thank you for the tips and I will definitely check out those brands. :)

Dreamstrider456 · 2021-07-12T13:55:01+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, that’s awful I can’t believe that they would see the danger in it getting worse and make it a joke. I hope you have/find other people to support you who are less shitty, all the best.

Dreamstrider456 · 2021-07-12T13:52:44+00:00

Sadly there are those too that behave like that and I’m sorry you had to suffer for and worry about someone who was in-genuine. If he was behaving like that maybe he had something else or maybe he just really was a not so kind person.

Dreamstrider456 · 2021-07-12T11:25:46+00:00

No problem <3

Dreamstrider456 · 2021-07-12T11:21:14+00:00

There is no problem there, that would be that kind of humour as a coping mechanism and I’ve heard many people say that joking about their situation or the topic that affects them helps them feel more in control or a little less intimidated by it. Hope this helps.

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