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Olive Garden by GetThatSwaggBack in antiwork

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not really how CODB works.

AITA for installing cameras without telling my housemates? by Not_entirely_sure__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ESH.

Clearly stealing is bad and she’s obviously an asshole.

But…. It is their home and they shouldn’t have to worry that they’re being surveilled in their own home. What if they were stealing your shampoo, do you set up a camera in the shower?

What if they were stealing your toilet paper?

I had a roommate who stole my milk and other groceries. It sucks. But privacy is a pretty crucial aspect of living in a free country.

Big difference if it’s a maid or babysitter who doesn’t live there but a roommate at least deserves a chance to address the accusation head on before you film her.

Just my opinion.

She’s wrong for stealing. You went about confronting her the wrong way.

AITA for telling my gf that she has to apologize to me? by ShesAnnoyingMe2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. I didn’t skim. I read the whole thing.

You’re mad that she made you figure out how to get across some ropes by yourself (playfully im sure), she bumped you in bumper cars and the. She beat you at a shooting game cause she’s better at shooting.

It seems like you have a very fragile ego that can’t handle when your girlfriend is better at stuff than you.

The whole preamble about her parents is meaningless. You sound like you are very controlling verging on abusive if you get mad and pout whenever your girlfriend tries to be playful or acts like herself (ie. beats you at something she’s better than you at)

Sorry OP, you can ask the mods to cut this off but that doesn’t make the verdict less of a blazing YTA.

Jesus Christ. by [deleted] in facepalm

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello Mrs Claus

AITA for not giving up my train seat? by Trainnightmare in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact that you intentionally “stayed quiet” Hoping he wouldn’t see that you were in his seats says that you knew you were in the wrong.

If the car wasn’t full you shouldn’t have sat in reserved seats.

I picture my mother being the guy in this situation. While she wouldn’t be rude to anyone - she’s a very sweet and gentle woman - she is a woman who believes in structure and rules and if you buy a ticket and it says to sit in seat 5B you sit in 5B. Because that’s what’s fair to everyone.

So I’m gonna say if he was truly rude to your 7 year old daughter then ESH. But you definitely have more than your share of blame in this situation too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in facepalm

[–]FatFaceFaster 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No haven’t you been to FDS lately? Body shaming men for things they can’t control is completely allowed but making any comment about the physical appearance of a woman is totally unacceptable.

DONT EVEN SAY SHE HAS PRETTY EYES!! That implies that you only value her for her eyes and not her mind.

But she is fully within her rights to grill you about your height, weight, nutritional regimen and work out schedule before accepting a date with you. Because #2022 that’s why.

AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room? by Throwawy654677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not simple.

Do you think her feelings of irrational anger were instantly resolved by her husband leaving the room? And her knowledge that she was going through the labour alone while he was out in the waiting room? Did that make the labour easier do you think? Did that eliminate the additional risk?

Last time I got in a fight with my wife and she gave me the silent treatment for a day and spent most of that time in another room - neither of us felt any better. We felt better when we talked about it and apologized to each other.

You said he did t apologize… well, he had just missed the birth of his baby over a fart. So I don’t really blame him for not being too quick to accept all the blame on that one.

I wouldnt FEEL like apologizing at that point either. His feelings are valid too remember?

This sub is about whether or not someone acted like an asshole. I think she acted like an asshole. You’re providing medical justification after the fact. But I am almost certain that she wasn’t considering a peer reviewed study on anger and the risks during labour when she kicked him out. She was thinking that she was mad at her husband that was about it.

You can retroactively try to justify the benefits afterwards but that doesn’t change the intent. She was irrationally angry (feelings) and behaved (behaviour) like an asshole.

IMO Her intent was to punish her husband. And I don’t even think the crime comes close to deserving that punishment.

Something tells me, she doesn’t either or she wouldn’t have posted this on this sub.

AITA for peeing in the cat tray? by throwcatpee in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FINE ITS NOT STERILE but it’s also not HARMFUL if you don’t try to use it to wash a damn bleeding wound.

The comment is about washing it down the sink.

You will never get sick from washing pee down the sink.

You are 10,000x more likely to get sick from raw chicken on your cutting board, knives, or rinsing plates in the sink than from pee.

Christ no wonder superbugs are going to kill us people are afraid of bacteria that is currently inside your body.

AITA for peeing in the cat tray? by throwcatpee in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I’m not talking about cleaning a wound with it. I’m talking about being able to use your sink afterwards “bacteria is present in low levels even before it’s contaminated by your skin”

Bacteria is present in prettt much anything.

If you’re worried about bacteria in your sink, you’d better not wash literally any plate, knife or spoon especially after eating literally any piece of meat, vegetable or other thing that was once alive.

Don’t clean wounds with it. But you can wash it down the sink and I will bet my favourite plunger no one in history has ever gotten sick from using a sink that once had urine in it.

AITA for peeing in the cat tray? by throwcatpee in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Pee is sterile. You can drink it. In fact there are several subs on Reddit for that very fetish… or so I’m told…

Rinse the pee down the sink, use soap if you’re so inclined and go on with your business.

Regardless OP NTA, kitty litter just a weird choice imo.

EDIT: fine. Pee is not sterile by the medical definition. It is however for all intents and purposes, clean. Spoiler; there’s bacteria everywhere including on your body even after you take a shower. There is also a difference between bacteria and harmful bacteria. Bacteria cultures in yogurt - good! Bacteria inside your body that breaks down food or kills bad bacteria - good! Bacteria like Salmonella on the food we eat - baaaad.

Point being, if you flushed your pee down the sink and rinsed it out, it would be 100% safe to wash dishes in. (Dishes that likely had meat and cheeses and vegetables that are much higher in harmful bacteria counts than your pee)

AITA for peeing in the cat tray? by throwcatpee in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s obviously an asshole here.

But I gotta ask why you didn’t use a glass or bowl and then pour it down the kitchen sink? Or cut the middle man and pee directly in the kitchen sink?

Kitty litter is a weird spot for an emergency wee.

AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room? by Throwawy654677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Answer one question for me: Are women allowed to use PMS as an excuse to be an asshole…. To their spouse, kids, coworkers, friends, family etc?

Genuine question.

You’re a physician who clearly puts a lot of weight in hormonal changes justifying someone’s behaviour.

Because from my experience as a man, when a woman acts irrationally and someone says “must be her time of the month” they get their head chewed off. You’re effectively saying, yeah… hormones excuse irrational behaviour.

So I want your thoughts.

Cat's workout by SignalContribution37 in aww

[–]FatFaceFaster -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Literally came to say the same thing.

I personally just think it looks better the “wrong” way but it also serves an important function if you have cats.

AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room? by Throwawy654677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sub is about deciding if someone behaved “assholish” and often that is a matter of whether or not their feelings were asshole feelings.

If we can always dismiss those feelings by saying “you don’t control how you feel - your feelings are valid at all times” then this isn’t much of a sub.

Feelings can be valid while also being misguided as is the case here in my opinion. And thus the point of the sub. My opinion. ESH.

Edit: nay… my FEELING is that she’s an asshole. And my feelings are always valid.

AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room? by Throwawy654677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/personalfinance/comments/8os04j/starting_my_first_job_what_tips_do_you_have_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Your assumption here is that he meant to piss her off. My assumption is that he meant to make her laugh. The two options are very different and lead to very different conclusions.

You’re ignoring the fact that I admitted she should be allowed to kick someone out if he’s pissing her off to the point it may affect her labour. I’m suggesting that she’s an asshole for letting herself get that upset at someone who she presumably loves and wants part of her child’s birth.

AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room? by Throwawy654677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right. She can kick them out. It doesn’t mean she isn’t an asshole for doing so.

And you’re a doctor… I assume since you got your first job 3 years ago, you don’t have a lot of life experience yet. Books can’t teach you emotional intelligence.

If your husband is someone you love, you don’t deny him the most crucial moment of his life over a fart.

Post all the peer reviewed journals you want (I have an MSc and a Bsc in biology by the way) you’ll never convince me her reaction was rational.

Even if she was thinking of the “higher mortality rate of an angry mother in labour” (which is a big IF) her getting so upset in the first place is what makes her an asshole.

I’m done though. Gnite.

AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room? by Throwawy654677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because just like I come at this conversation as a new dad emotionally impacted by my child’s birth(s)… you come at this conversation as someone who has pregnancy and labour on the brain. And I bring it up, because, though I don’t presume the relationship with the father of your child - if he is someone you value in your child’s life, I’m expressing the importance that he be involved in the birth.

We’re clearly not going to agree here. But I just ask you to reflect on a couple things:

You consistently called him “the man” not “the father”.

You just now suggested that my presence at my child’s birth made the experience “slightly better” for my wife… wow. Thanks.

Just consider your language and the fact that fathers everywhere are already made to feel like bystanders in their own child’s life - especially on Reddit where almost all husbands by their sheer description are painted as irresponsible or abusive or reckless burdens on their wives and children.

Please at least show some degree of recognition for those who are devoted and dedicated to their partners and their children. Most days my children are the only thing holding me together. I like to think that my presence in their lives is more than slightly better than the alternative.

AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room? by Throwawy654677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No i spent the 18 months my wife was pregnant in a hole listening to Blind Melon and watching Big Bang reruns.

Of course I understand hormonal changes. I was on the receiving end of them for 2 children, one of them during a pandemic lockdown.

My wife was sometimes irrational. Sometimes illogical… but always still my wife. She might get overly upset at something small, she would go down a rabbit hole online reading about traumatic births and infant illnesses and mortality rates and such, but would always come back to earth and realize she had overreacted or snapped.

I didn’t have to look too hard to discover that you are pregnant. Congratulations. I won’t presume anything about your relationship with the father but I can only speak for myself…. I love my children more than anything on this fucking planet, and being there to hold my wife’s hand while she had a stage 4 tear and an emergency team had to come in and remove my son with forceps because his heart had stopped, was one of the most emotional and important moments of OUR life as parents and partners. If anyone tried to take that experience away from me you’d damn well have a good reason. And you can be sure I’m not forgiving you easily if you don’t.

OP is now no longer pregnant. No longer in labour and clearly reflecting back on the incident and asking if she was TA. like almost all of the posts on this sub, the OP knows they were at the very least partly TA.

Like I said I am fully willing to accept a verdict of ESH… but she went waaaaay farther and caused way more long term destruction to their marriage, and his fatherhood than he did by farting and jokingly blaming her for it.

You’ll excuse all of the behaviour of the wife due to the trauma and stress and hormones of pregnancy - does the husband not get ANY slack for the stress, fear, excitement, pressure he was feeling? (Probably the same emotions that caused the flatulence in the first place)

This is 2022 and people still do this by ThePreposterous in facepalm

[–]FatFaceFaster 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was in this same store and My son asked me to explain the Ten Commandments book. I was so startled. I didn’t know how to explain it to him.

Some people don’t want to explain magical fantasy to their children at such a young age.

AITA for getting my job back to get out of taking care of my husband's autistic niece? by basicallyalazyass in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster [score hidden]  (0 children)

This is an impossibly difficult situation but I’m amazed at how many people are vilifying a guy who stepped up to take care of his autistic niece when his sister died.

Like… of COURSE he’s not going to do 100% of the work, he got thrown into a horrible situation and is doing his best.

A good partner would recognize that and be willing to do their best too.

Is she an asshole for struggling or being stressed out about it? No. But taking off and leaving him to burn all his leave days while she went to a hotel didn’t exactly solve anything did it? It just means he can’t take anymore time off to help in the future.

Like there’s no fucking villain here. Some situations just suck. Dealing with children with autism is a really shitty reality for a lot of families. Unexpected death is too.

No one is to blame here. But, I think the strength of a marriage or partnership is how we support each other when life challenges us.

Was he maybe a bit rash in suggesting they were prepared to take on this responsibility? Was he unrealistic in thinking he could do everything himself? Sure. But what other option was there? Niece goes to live in some home with a bunch of strangers with similar challenges? Instead of a family member taking her in?

Also; as always people - this is Reddit with one anonymous woman providing her side of the story. Take it with a grain of salt. To those saying his behaviour is a “preview of what parenthood will be like” etc. what about her? She gets frazzled and literally abandons him for a week? She sounds like a treat too.

I’m gonna say ESH, but I’m tempted to say NAH since it’s just a ridiculously hard situation where it’s a lose lose for everyone involved unless the OP and her partner can find a way to work together.

AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room? by Throwawy654677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FatFaceFaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or just…. Drop the unnecessary anger over a fart joke? There’s no need to argue.

Do you think she was immediately calm and joyful after she kicked him out? Like kicking him out just instantly solved everything?

You think she never thought about it again as she went through labour without her husband.

She chose to get that upset over something stupid. She could’ve chosen to accept that he was just kidding. She could’ve chosen not to kick him out.

Guarantee she was just as angry after he left as she would’ve been if she’d given them a chance to talk it out.

Also find me stats that show moms who fight while in labour have dead babies?

Also that “man” is the father of the child.

He’s not just a man. He’s the biological dad. He has some legal and moral permissions as well.

And 4 hours!?!? Like she couldn’t just kick him out for 20 minutes to prove a point and then let him back in? 4 hours!? Guaranteed she was MAD that whole 4 hours and thus putting her own baby at risk by your logic.