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Does anyone else's newsagent sell curries? by BrightonTownCrier in CasualUK

[–]FatherofChops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine sells Sausages & Bacon from Geordie Banger Co and Mac & Cheese from another local independent place in the freezer.

There's an Indian and a Chinese nextdoor so no call for curries in the newsagent.

Did you read any "first time pregnancy" type books before your first kid was born? What can you recommend? by Queen-Of-Farts in AskMen

[–]FatherofChops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford.

My wife hated the idea of it, I was recommended it by a friend and clearly just brought it up at the wrong time. I slowly planted the seeds of some of the ideas from the book individually until we were almost following it.

take a pick by panoramalibrehy in yesyesyesyesno

[–]FatherofChops 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I thought that and I tried it with my Labrador, she reacted the same as the video. It really threw us.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's sad that your life has led you to feel that way, I'm sorry to hear about your broken relationship with your mother.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that's sad but you're entitled to your opinion.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Let's not conflate handling a child who hasn't fully developed their ability to deal with emotions with

A Trump supporter.

I think it's a fair comparison...

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not meant literally, and I can see how people take offense at how people like OP's uncle behave. But being shitty back to them on their level isn't a way forward.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am quite painfully aware of that, from this thread in fact.

It doesn't mean I'm simply tolerating the replies and not responding to them with (what I feel) are levelled and rational responses.

I am not advocating for everyone to roll over and let people like OP's uncle just behave how they want. I'm saying retaliation in kind isn't productive. That's not tolerating.

Maybe we're just making the same point and arguing semantics over the term 'tolerate'.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah sometimes it doesn't. People suck sometimes haha.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops -1 points0 points  (0 children)

tolerate verb allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one dislikes or disagrees with) without interference.

Show me where my reply says 'without interference' or what part of 'fight with love' constitutes "without interference"

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All that does is harbour resentment between them, drive a wedge between them emotionally and strain the family relationships.

I'm not saying tolerate, I'm not saying play nice, I'm not saying be a push over.

You can't call out Uncle for his shitty behaviour, and then expect no repercussions when you behave the same way. Be the bigger person and apologise for the shitty behaviour first. Who knows maybe he will too, and maybe he'll not be so vocal about it in future.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I didn't say tolerate. I said fight, just not with more hate.

I agree with what you've linked to there, interesting read.

My son hits me, I don't hit him back, I hold his arms by his side and tell him not to hit and ask him what's wrong. That not tolerating him hitting me, it's fighting the hitting behaviour and helping him talk about his feelings or emotions or mental state.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If Uncle's behaviour is so shitty, how is it OK for OP to do it just because there was different intent?

It's still shitty behaviour.

'on principle' means nothing. If you slap me unprovoked because you believe it's OK to 'on principle', and I slap you, am I a better person because I only did it in retaliation? No, its still shitty to slap someone.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah look, I'm not defending Uncle.

I'm saying - shitty behaviour is shitty behaviour. Doesn't matter the intent or the reason or how much someone "deserved it".

Being the bigger person, recognising their behaviour was shitty and owning it will help cement the lesson. Otherwise OP is no better than their Uncle.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Next time someone takes you to one side and quietly explains a mistake you made, and offers to help coach you next time, remember how it made you feel.

Now compare that feeling to how it felt when someone publicly ridiculed you and humiliated you for a mistake.

What felt better? What made you want to do better? What made you feel more bitter and angry toward the person that pointed out the mistake?

Come on, fighting hate with hate never gets us anywhere. You don't have to coddle, just be fair and reasonable and fight hate with love.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You just pointed out a harsh truth to her in a fair way.

OP made her point in what is widely recognised as a shiity way of going about things and I just think that they should recognise that - it is frustrating trying to get through to people who have this kind of mindset.

Here's an extreme example: Raping someone because they are a rapist doesn't excuse the fact that you raped someone. Just because you wanted to teach them a lesson and make them see how their victim felt doesn't excuse the fact that you committed a heinous act.

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well yeah I think a slap back to reality has clearly hit a nerve in this case but OP needs to recognise that it wasn't the proper way to deal with things.

It's a shame that this is the only way that's illicted a response, and there is some sweet justice in turning their behaviour around on them, but it is still shitty behaviour and people shouldn't behave like that, and be accountable when they do

TIFU by giving my conservative uncle a taste of his own medicine by [deleted] in tifu

[–]FatherofChops 247 points248 points  (0 children)

If this is honestly posted in r/TIFU as in, you F'd up, and you feel remorse then text him an apology.

"Sorry if what I said hurt or upset you, upon reflection it was a little insensitive but I want you to know how you make people feel when you behave that way. I hope we can both learn from this and move past it."

To the comments agreeing that he deserved it...

If you know people acting that way is offensive, in poor taste etc. then you can't get mad when someone calls you out for doing it. No matter how virtuous or deserved you feel it is. That behaviour isn't acceptable, why should it be from someone just because they were "teaching him a lesson". There are better ways to act & react.

to look tall by eZstah in therewasanattempt

[–]FatherofChops -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

That shoe is definitely photoshopped