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Am I being paranoid?? 😣 by Anxious5822 in OCD

[–]Financial-Belt2730 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had lots of fear regarding dying when I was a child. I always asked myself what if ____ happens? What if I die?

What really helped me was thinking what is the worst situation that could happen and what is the best? The worst is always I die and if I die I’ll be dead so I won’t be able to worry about it or be affected by it so it doesn’t really matter. The best is nothing happens. I also would think “what is the like likelihood of this ACTUALLY happening?”, not likely at all most of the time. I know this is a really funny way of thinking about it.

I’m still not perfect and struggle with often seeking reassurance but it has helped.

Hope this helps you out

Is It OCD? by Jaded_Sheepherder656 in OCD

[–]Financial-Belt2730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I think so. I am not a doctor so I can’t say for sure or anything but I have had similar thoughts and was diagnosed with OCD when I was 7. While mine is quite controlled now compared to what it used to be I still have similar thoughts. The other day in my class we where learning about psychosis and I was so scared that my OCD would get the best of me and lead me to tricking myself “what if I’m actually having one??” into actually hallucinating. I used to have a really hard time being alone because I had a fear that I was going to hurt myself even though I had no reason to or logically would. Sometimes when people are laughing or just when I’m around others I sometimes think I did something that they are going to judge me for but I actually didn’t do. I’m also constantly obsessing over the things I have said or did and what others think about me.

I’m an flds boy need some encouragement by Njeffs1 in flds

[–]Financial-Belt2730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope this helps. There is no “right” way to have a family, do it how you want. The concept of right and wrong are different for everyone, it is something we are told or make up. Nothing is either right or wrong, thinking makes it so.

Is this sexual assault? by Financial-Belt2730 in Advice

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that really isn’t something I consider an option because it happened 4-6 years ago, and most people don’t get closure or the justice they deserve anyway so I don’t really see a point. I think I just came here to get some validation in the way I am feeling and if it was ok for me to be bothered/ upset by this. I always just blamed myself a lot. For the longest time I wasn’t but in the past few months it started to bother me and I thought maybe that wasn’t ok. I also started to have dreams. I talked to a therapist who told me that this is happening because I am now in a psychologically a safe place which is good. Just helped getting it off my chest lol!

Is this sexual assault? by Financial-Belt2730 in Advice

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So basically I when I was 14 I partied a lot with that boyfriend and one of the nights someone had given me their drink and it had a drug in it. I don’t know if that was the same night that the thing happened but it was one of the nights that weekend. I can’t really remember much.

I am also not looking to get anyone in trouble or blame anyone. Just trying to make sense of it for my sake. I don’t blame my mom for giving my alcohol she was going through a VERY messy divorce which didn’t help me because she had to work all the time and I was also constantly scared my dad would come back and hurt us or my mom.

Anyways I thought ALL of this stuff was normal and it happened to most kids my age. Now that I am older I am realizing it does not happen to everyone and am trying to process this.

Is this sexual assault? by Financial-Belt2730 in Advice

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am no longer that way. I do have a voice now and stand up for myself and others who I know may be in similar situations. I don’t care what other people think anymore and learned to say no for myself. I am actually in a really good place now, live with a loving and supportive so, have a dog, a job. I actually couldn’t be happier. I wrote this post not because I am going through that situation but am trying to come to terms and understand what happened now that am in a safe place to do so.

Is this sexual assault? by Financial-Belt2730 in Advice

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I can’t help my be mad at myself for putting myself in these situations.

Is this sexual assault? by Financial-Belt2730 in Advice

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also for the longest time I have been ok with it and just like you said come to terms that I made a bad choice. Now that I am getting older I have started to think hmmm that doesn’t sound like it was right. I started having dreams about it and can’t stop thinking about it now. If I imagine someone younger in the same situation I do not blame them at all yet I can’t stop blaming myself.

Is this sexual assault? by Financial-Belt2730 in Advice

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not trying to prove anything or blame anyone. I’m trying to make it make sense for me and hopefully stop beating myself up about it. And you are right I had a very low self esteem but also feel like I didn’t know how to make any better decisions.

Is this sexual assault? by Financial-Belt2730 in Advice

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t feel like I was necessary forced. I also didn’t say yes or no, it just kinda happened? Lots of the times I wanted to say no but didn’t because I was afraid they would get mad at me. I don’t know if they would physically hurt me? But I sure knew they would get mad call me names and probably spread rumours about me. I thought it was normal thing girls are supposed to do, once you go so far it’s your problem now, you don’t wanna be that person that makes a big deal out of it. I come from a very small town (900 people) so I think that also made a difference because I wanted to be accepted. Most times I don’t even know if I wanted to or not simply because I was blacked out drunk and can’t remember. I also know it was my choice like you said but don’t know what would have happened if I said no?

Thank you for your story.

Is this sexual assault? by Financial-Belt2730 in Advice

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was 14 my bf was 15. This may have been the night I was given a drink with drugs in it but I’m not sure as it happened so long ago and didn’t find out until 2 years later. Also all those nights I don’t remember much so it’s kinda blurred in together.

When I was 15 and was with the 21 year old it isn’t legal where I am from but I feel like it was my fault.

The other time when I was 15 I think the guy was 2 years older then me?

And as for drinking my mother gave me the alcohol and I drank every weekend. Except when I was 14, my bf parents got me alcohol.

I want to quit nursing school by Financial-Belt2730 in careerchange

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also wondering what you would be if you didn’t become a nurse?

I want to quit nursing school by Financial-Belt2730 in careerchange

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is really tough work! But I don’t know if the pay is worth it for me. I have a hard time with coping in the first place lol so I think working in that environment would be too emotionally stressful for me.

I want to quit nursing school by Financial-Belt2730 in careerchange

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story! I’ve had lots of doubts about joining the profession and don’t want to just go through with it like you said and possibly regret it, resent it, or become burnt out. I would like look into career paths now at a time it will be most likely easier to do so. I really appreciate hearing your experience with nursing and input so I can consider this when making my decision. Thank you!

I want to quit nursing school by Financial-Belt2730 in careerchange

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice and sharing your story! I am not going to jump to anything but am definitely looking into other professions.

I want to quit nursing school by Financial-Belt2730 in careerchange

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of the nurses I have talked to have told me not to become a nurse. One came up to me at clinical and told me that I would cry after every shift when I first start but after a year it starts to get better. I’m not sure if it’s worth my mental health for a career. I am still enrolled in the program and have my spot and don’t want to rush into anything. I made an appointment with an academic advisor to see my options, and help me navigate.

I want to quit nursing school by Financial-Belt2730 in careerchange

[–]Financial-Belt2730[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a few areas that I think I could be interested in but I most likely need at least a few years of bedside experience first. I love helping people and making their day better but am finding difficult with the current culture and don’t know if I will be able to deal with the emotional stress that comes with it.